Destiny has a serious mercenary problem in the Trials of Osiris

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Destiny, a video game with the year one in-game narrative of a pre-school colouring-in book, is all about the loot. Delicious legendary engrams, Exotic weapons and armour that stirs a certain longing in your pants as you realise what Coldplay was singing about when they released “a rush of blood to the head”.

But to get the best loot in Destiny, you have to work for it. Maybe you’re lucky in Prison of Elders and the Crucible, or maybe you know when to spend your Strange Coins whenever Xur arrives. But there’s one guaranteed way to truly pick up equipment that will leave fellow guardians green with envy: The Trials of Osiris.

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A three on three team effort, the Trials of Osiris tasks players with achieving one of the hardest goals in the game, outside of a solo Vault of Glass run on Heroic. Nine straight wins. No losses, no ties. Get in that arena, and work some Guardian magic until your thumbs bleed. Needless to say, it’s a feat that few are capable of, and fewer actually manage to pull off.

But the rewards are worth it, as those few Guardians who can pull off a nine-win record will get access to the Lighthouse on Mercury, and a chance to obtain the following:

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You can’t get this gear anywhere else, and needless to say, people want it. Bad. I won’t even bother with the Trials of Osiris. Destiny’s multiplayer gameplay is already fine-tuned for quick 1:1 kills, with killstreaks being reserved for the truly talented.

That makes getting the nine-win streak impossible for players such as myself, who were born with two left thumbs. In a jar. But let’s say that you’re desperate to get that gear, despite your digital handicap. What’s a Guardian to do? Easy: You hire some muscle.

Ebay is filled with adverts for people who can guarantee you a trip to the Lighthouse. For a price of course. Starting around the $50 mark and sometimes being as cheap as $15, these Guardians promise you riches and rewards in the hardest of Elimination modes available in Destiny.

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But here’s where things get dodgy.

The Trials of Osiris is home to some damn good talent. And if you’re guaranteeing results, then chances are high that you’re going to see some lag-switching. The Bungie forums are filled with people complaining about this, with numerous Reddit threads fingering culprits.

If you’ve never heard of lag-switching, here’s a quick description of it:

A lag switch is a piece of equipment installed on a home network that allows you to insert delays into the flow of local traffic to the Internet. Lag switches are normally used by unscrupulous players wanting to cheat at online video games.

And while I’m not saying that the Ebay vendors are all guilty of this, the frequency of lag-switching coupled with the amount of for-hire Destiny mercenaries out there does raise a few eyebrows. With positive reviews on the Ebay side that reveal nine straight wins within an hour of the seller using your character with their team, something is definitely fishy.

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Of course, such get-rich quick schemes may soon be coming to an end, when Bungie starts a new round of ban-hammerings. For a short while, at least. Because you can’t keep a good mercenary down. How about you?

Have you ever been on the receiving end of such shenanigans that have cost you a flawless run in the Trials of Osiris?

Last Updated: August 18, 2015

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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