FFD: Who has the best beard in videogames?

1 min read


What’s the very best thing about The Witcher 3? It’s not the expansive world, or the interesting-interlinking side-quests. It’s not the fact that there are consequences to your actions, or even the Unicorn sex. No, the very best thing about The Witcher 3 is Geralt’s customisable beard – and that fact that it grows in real-time. And though I’ve just recently shaved my own, real-life one off, I have to admit that beards are awesome. Who though, has the best beard in videogames?

I’m torn. When I started this, I was sure it would be the many Russian beard of Street Fighter’s Zangief – but then I remembered the lovely lower mane of Golden Axe’s diminutive Gilius Thunderhead. And then! Then I remembered that sad and depressed Max Payne grew a pretty slick beard in the third game, and that Donkey Kong’s cranky Elder sported impressive muzzle-lashing of his own.

Metal Gear’s Big Boss has a decent enough, though far-too trimmed beard, as does Deus Ex’s Adam Jensen. Real beards though? They should be man-of-themountain stuff, like Bioshock Infinites Zachary Comstock, or the pirate LeChuck’s great big face-poodle.

And honestly? I’m still torn. You tell us: Who has the best beard in videogames?

This is what I’m Tolkien about.

Last Updated: May 22, 2015

Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces. I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

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