Lightning jesus

Two new Final Fantasy trailers were revealed this week at the Tokyo Game Show. While the trailer for the mobile game, Final Fantasy Agito, looks pretty cool, I’m rather worried about Final Fantasy XIII: Lightning Returns.

First, the good news. Check out the Agito trailer. I must say, it may be a mobile game, but it looks pretty impressive. I would be more convinced if it were on handheld, but it could be one of the better Final Fantasies I’ve seen in a while:

Unfortunately, the new trailer for Lightning Returns makes me less happy. Now that we get even more of the plot and dialogue, I can’t help but think it is just a drawn out Jesus allegory. Leading the souls of the dead to the afterlife? Lots of mentions of saving souls? Does this make Lightning a jiggly-boobed Jesus (such a band name if ever I heard one)? But here is the video:

The thing is, it’s nice to see them exploring deeper themes again in Final Fantasy. Unfortunately, they have absolutely destroyed their credibility. If you are going to do something meaningful, you need to do it well. I’m just worried that the focus on social sharing and jiggle physics might have drawn attention away from story and dialogue.

What do you think? Does this make you le sigh (Trademark 2013 of Rincethis)? Or is this a return to the higher level plot devices of previous Final Fantasies?

Last Updated: September 23, 2013

1.1
was reviewed on PC

30 Comments

  1. Tarisma

    September 23, 2013 at 11:17

    Right I stand corrected there could be something worse than FF13

    Reply

  2. Umar Jaeger

    September 23, 2013 at 11:37

    F**K Agito!! how the flip can you release a game that has obvious spoilers for Type-0 in the West, but NOT release Type-0 here??? For realz??…Lightning returns story is so dumb….Unless you familiarize yourself with the Etro lore (which the 2 games does a crap job of explaining) , you won’t know what is going on. Hell Barthandelus was the main Antag of 13 and then we get Cauis all of a sudden…Fabula Nova has a great setting…but horrible execution. There is nothing deep about 13-2,3 …. nothing but a convoluted mess trying to fit into a lore that no one cares about

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      September 23, 2013 at 11:43

      I don’t know what’s going on :/

      Reply

      • Umar Jaeger

        September 23, 2013 at 11:44

        You see, once there was this girl called Lightning….and she had boobs…….

        Fin.

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          September 23, 2013 at 11:45

          That’s the perfect story right there. I’m still surprised Lightning is a girl.

          Reply

          • Rincethis

            September 23, 2013 at 11:46

            It’s a girl? 0-O

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            September 23, 2013 at 11:52

            I know right! Every now & again Japanese character design surprises you.

          • Umar Jaeger

            September 23, 2013 at 11:46

            This should sum it up for you

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            September 23, 2013 at 11:51

            lulz

          • Tarisma

            September 23, 2013 at 11:52

            so thats how Kuja came about

          • Umar Jaeger

            September 23, 2013 at 11:56

            Lol Kuja and his midriff, he is still an awesome charatcer though

          • Tarisma

            September 23, 2013 at 12:00

            Ya was an awesome character, so so very broken. My brother and I only figured out he was a guy at the end of the first disk.

          • Umar Jaeger

            September 23, 2013 at 12:01

            Lol, ahh the classic scene when you’re left in the rain and he just walks away from you, yeah I didn’t know either , luckily I found out before I started getting a virtual crush lol….Awkward!

          • Her Highness the Hipster

            September 23, 2013 at 12:01

            best thing i’ve seen today 🙂

          • Umar Jaeger

            September 23, 2013 at 12:03

            🙂 it’s funny…mainly because it is so true lol

          • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

            September 23, 2013 at 12:32

            HAHAHAHAHA!

    • SaintsRowMurray

      September 23, 2013 at 12:24

      All of a sudden I know what my fiancé goes through every time I speak Star Wars…

      Reply

  3. Hammersteyn

    September 23, 2013 at 11:37

    I think Square Enix is Jesus and they keep resurrecting Lightning(Lazarus) because boobs or whatever.

    Reply

  4. Alien Emperor Trevor

    September 23, 2013 at 11:40

    lol @ trademarked le sigh.

    Reply

  5. Umar Jaeger

    September 23, 2013 at 11:41

    God…PLEASE tell me…PLEEEASE tell me how can you release type-0 and then release a F2P mobile version of what Type-0 was supposed to be. What the ma se jiggy is wrong with SE!!my god……I can’t handle this sh*t……

    Reply

  6. Rincethis

    September 23, 2013 at 11:48

    It makes me SIGH!

    Reply

  7. Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

    September 23, 2013 at 11:58

    I don’t get it, how can Squuueeenix be so out of touch? It’s like they’ve been taking management and executive classes from Microsoft. le sigh!

    Reply

    • Umar Jaeger

      September 23, 2013 at 11:59

      Denial? Disillusion?……Drugs?

      Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      September 23, 2013 at 12:05

      Square EAnix?

      Reply

  8. SaintsRowMurray

    September 23, 2013 at 12:12

    Why can’t they have jiggly boobs and be meaningful?

    Reply

  9. loftie

    September 23, 2013 at 12:45

    Final Fantasy Agito = Japanese Hogwarts with lacrosse (quidditch)

    Reply

  10. Guest

    September 23, 2013 at 16:39

    Is it just me or does Lightning sound exactly like Liara from Mass Effect?

    Reply

  11. Elaine

    September 24, 2013 at 00:47

    If you are looking for a real answer I’m pretty sure she’s a Valkyrie. A Valkyrie is a “chooser of the slain” They lead their chosen to the afterlife in Valhalla.

    Reply

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