Today has taught me to appreciate my PC – particular the screens attached to it. I woke up with no electricity this morning, which means I have had to make do with a laptop for ants. Do you have any idea how frustrating and gut-wrenching it is to go from 27” and 23” real estate to something that is only 11” or so? It sucks, so so so so so so so so so so so much!
On the bright side, I’m getting work done at least. Even so, it’s been slow going, and Geoff has already fired me twice today as a result. Oh well… WEEKEND!
Best Stories
This past weekend, gamers descended upon the Mall of the South to take part in Gamer’s Fest. Overall, the event went quite well, and the general public became more aware of this strange new phenomenon called “eSports”. I’d call that a win any day!
Got nothing to do this weekend? Why not spend some time in Heroes of the Storm? The entire roster will be unlocked, and there’s bonus XP up for grabs!
VREEEEEEEM! I may not be a fan myself, but I know the rest of the office are excited for Gears of War 4. It now has an official release date! It’ll be out on October 11th.
Worst Stories
JRPG fans rejoice, Final Fantasy XV is coming! Problem is, it’s struggling to stay stable on PS4 and Xbox One. Let’s hope Square Enix can work some magic and have the game in a better state for its launch, which is just a few months away.
Some fan went and made a video for Donald Trump, which contains a bunch of intellectual property ripped straight from Mass Effect. Naturally, EA and Bioware were not happy.
The Last of Us was a fanstasic game from Naughty Dog, and one that would make for a rather excellent movie adaption. That project was underway actually, but now, it’s stuck in development hell. Damn!
Lastly, Quantum Break is a mixed bag of issues on PC at the moment. Arkham Knight, is that you?
Random Stories
A Virtual Reality Sex Suit exists? What a time to be alive!
What do you get when one man attempts to adopt a dog in Skyrim? Only the best story ever told, that’s what!
Horse armour? Who’d buy that? I don’t know, but 10 years later, DLC is pretty damn common.
Is Darryn Batman Forever?
Duh!
Header Image of the Week
Sometimes, no clever Photoshop is needed to win the header image of the week award. I really like this particular image relating to Final Fantasy XV Ultimate Edition scalpers.
Who remembers this advert? What was it advertising? Well played Darryn!
Most Comments
I don’t usually take articles written today into account (which is why FFD never appears here), but I can’t ignore the fact that Fallout 4 won the BAFTA award for best game article. It has a whopping 110 comments already!
Commenter of the Week
Sorry friends, no comment of the week award this week I’m afraid. I would like to honour a certain Admiral Chief however, who I believe has clocked up a whopping 50 000 disqus comments! Good golly man, get back to work!
Oh but if you must have a comment of the week, then fine, I’m being biased and giving it to Geoff. Who’s better; Sonic or Mario?
I remember at school, I used to punch kids who said Sonic was better than Mario. It’s probably why I was suspended as a teacher.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH!
Bonus Premium Content
Oh boy, a voice message for Darryn from Geoff!
(Header)
Last Updated: April 8, 2016
Pariah
April 8, 2016 at 12:34
Oh Geoff. You so funny.
Also, Sonic is dumb. Forward forward, forward, JUMP. JUMP.
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 12:36
Sonic rocks. You and Geoff have no taste
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:46
I’m with you, Sonic ftw
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:48
He used to rock
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:50
…until his papers got scissored?
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:57
lol
Mark Treloar
April 8, 2016 at 16:01
The cat was awesome though.
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 12:35
I didn’t win comment of the week. Right. Community. As was said we must chose the worst possible game for Matty to play since he didn’t make sure I own.
Suggestions?
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:37
Raven’s Cry
HairyEwok
April 8, 2016 at 12:38
I have about seven suggestions….
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 12:42
Let’s be serious guys. We can nail Matty now!
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:47
Jim Sterling had lots to say about this game
http://store.steampowered.com/app/329950/
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:49
LOL @ R6!!!!
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:52
How to play
1. Download game
2.Uninstall game
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 12:54
Repeat for level two…
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:56
3. Get refund
4. Buy…ummm….half a bread
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 12:59
HAAAAA!!!! Sjoe, now that you mention it… That’s a third of a tin of tuna, so the brine…
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:00
Brine….I HATE THAT WORD
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:02
It sounds so filthy, not disgusting, just like something you’ll toss to the side the moment your finger touches it… Like “gaan le jy nou maar net daar in die hoekie…”
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:03
Presies
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 13:04
hahaha
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 13:03
Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine Brine
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:04
Swine swine swine swine
Bacon
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 13:04
THE HUNGER
DragonSpirit009
April 8, 2016 at 13:04
LUNCH TIME!
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:05
Going to grab a Cowabunga special soon.
R60
200g immaculately flavoured beef
Cheese slice
Cheese sauce
Bacon
Chips
Milkshake
(yes, R60)
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 13:05
O_o no way
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:06
Yes way.
11h00 to 16h00 promo
Best….burger….ever
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:06
WAT!! Waar!? Jis dit klink lekker!
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:06
Burger Bistro
(they should pay me for promoting them so much)
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:08
Awesome!! I’ll check it out!
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:10
Whereabouts do you stay? Since there are only a few of them in SnorToria/Centooorion
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:13
I work in the Saantoeriun area, but stay out in Pretoria East, any good ones you’d recommend?
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:15
The one in Rietfontein is apparently the best, there where I stay (Pta North East, near Kolonnade) is one, there is one in Menlo Park, and then Centooorion one
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:18
YEEAAASSS!!! I think I’ll try the Saaantoeriun one first, then the MenloPark one, unfortunately I stay on way on the other side of PTA, Garsfontein rd side…
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:26
Then the Menlopark one is closest to you
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:35
Awesome!! Will check it out!
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:36
Hope you enjoy it, decor and variations in burgers are best I’ve seen
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:40
Well, today’s my wifes’ birthday and I’ve already slammed together a few recipes for sesame covered and grilled tuna steaks, with an avo and light Jalapeno salsa and some or other lettuce induced dish, but tomorrow….
Alien Emperor Trevor
April 8, 2016 at 13:16
The Cowabunga special? You sure that’s beef & not turtle?
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:20
There is no way that is NOT beef, you can taste the MOO
Alien Emperor Trevor
April 8, 2016 at 13:21
So it’s raw, instead of flame-grilled like real beef.
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:24
Normal flame grilled vs your incineration I take it?
No, it is done properly, medium rare
Alien Emperor Trevor
April 8, 2016 at 13:24
That’s what I said.
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 13:04
Mmmm Bacon
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:06
We should have Burger Bistro, as your future boss, I give you the afternoon off, I’ll meet you at Burger Bistro in an hour
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 13:10
woooooooooooooo
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:11
…actually doing budget motivation next week, just FYI
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 13:42
Woot
Corrie
April 8, 2016 at 13:07
How to play
1. Download game
2.Uninstall game
3.Request Refund(Steam r?e?f?u?n?d?? non sober edition helper to prevent….things)
4.Question your integrity for ever purchasing such things
5.Contemplate life
6.Eat a bag of Pork rines…I got nothing else to do while eating them
7.Heart Attack
8.Profit???
FTFY :p
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 13:10
Rofl
Corrie
April 8, 2016 at 13:02
I don’t think I’d even want to give them R6, rather would throw away a R10 than buy that
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:03
I’d play for 1hr 30 minutes and ask for refund
Corrie
April 8, 2016 at 13:08
I’m willing to gift you this game in order to make you regret that decision
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:08
I’ll play it, hopefully there are achievements
[Achievement Unlocked: WHAT HAVE I DONE?]
Corrie
April 8, 2016 at 13:10
And taint your account?
Thank goodness there are none…just cards, I wouldn’t want that badge at all, rather would have a hello kitty badge proudly displayed than that
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:11
Hahahaha
OR
[ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED : I DIDN’T LISTEN TO JIM STERLING]
Corrie
April 8, 2016 at 13:14
Why oh why didn’t yahtzee do a video on it, would have been epic
Sadly Sterling has that case against them those devs. hope he wins
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 12:49
I saw that review!! He had such high hopes for it!
HairyEwok
April 8, 2016 at 12:49
Ahem…. His name is Jim Fucking Sterling.
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:52
*Jim Fucking Sterling Son
HairyEwok
April 8, 2016 at 12:47
This is my highest suggestion
http://store.steampowered.com/app/251570/
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 12:51
A BLUE WOODCHOPPERMANGUYZOMBIE AND Zombie infested Cactii plantations(the desert)!!! YEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:45
XDXDXDXDXDXDXD
hairyknees
April 8, 2016 at 12:50
Hey I already have a backlog of games to play for the community 😛 don’t add to it yet!
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:51
YOU HAVE NO POWER HERE!
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 12:52
Yeah as @Admiral Chief in New York:disqus said. You have no power here. You cannot argue with a guy with over 50k comments after all.
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:54
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/195255.gif
hairyknees
April 8, 2016 at 13:53
XD next week for sure <3
Alien Emperor Trevor
April 8, 2016 at 12:54
I’ve got your back Matty!
Oh wait, I didn’t win. You’re on your own.
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:37
Darryn’s still Batman!
Good one Geoff!
http://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a97Byeo_460sa.gif
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 12:43
HAHAHA!!!
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:45
This kid is going places
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:47
…Gotham being one of them
Alien Emperor Trevor
April 8, 2016 at 12:49
Batman doesn’t wear glasses you fake geek brat!
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:50
It is his super-disguise
Ryanza
April 8, 2016 at 12:44
Not once did Affleck come off as Bruce Wayne. Not once did Affleck feel like Batman. Plus it was CGI and green screen most of the time. Worse DC animated movie. Afflecks chin killed Batman.
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:50
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/wrong.gif
Ryanza
April 8, 2016 at 12:51
sad thing is that i’m not wrong. People who liked Affleck are just trolling.
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:55
Yeah…….no
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 12:56
Nothing can destroy Batman. NOTHING!
There is not a asingle thing that Batman won’t survive because nothing is as bad as this Batman. If batman could survive this he can survive anything:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/4e/18/52/4e1852f1d754cf06d6711d9fffd34088.jpg
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:57
What about……..BatBale vs BatFleck in a deathmatch?
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 12:58
huehuehuehue epic
Darren Peach
April 8, 2016 at 15:08
I vote for the Joker !
Darren Peach
April 8, 2016 at 15:07
To think that in his day, this looked cool. Also, Check how dodge Bobba Fett looks in the original trilogy.
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:56
Like this?
http://imgur.com/w0Q32QN.jpg
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:57
LOOOOOOOL KNATERKEN
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 12:58
XD
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 12:58
I laughed harder than I had a right to….
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:00
So, his chin gets smaller if it is cold weather?
And when he gets older it will hang in his soup
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 13:01
aaaaaaaaaaah. Noooooooooooooooooo
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:02
Shaving will have to be a VERY careful exercise…
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 13:04
staaahp
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 13:05
You’re nuts to think he’ll stop, he has the balls to go all day
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:07
As long as they don’t hang in his soup, that’s ok…
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:07
Just don’t play with your chinny chin chin too must, lest there be an accident
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 13:09
Now the 3 little pigs are forever destroyed for me….
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 13:10
Not the 7 dwarfs?
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 13:42
:'(
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:20
Nananananananana BALMAN!!!
Hammersteyn_hates_Raid0
April 8, 2016 at 13:27
Joker would laugh himself to death
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:28
xD
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:36
Can you imagine pulling a straight face while looking someone in the eyes with that one their chin though?
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:37
That is like dividing by zero
Darren Peach
April 8, 2016 at 13:31
Those are chin balls.
DragonSpirit009
April 8, 2016 at 12:45
My good for the week was going to art class on a high… the bad, I got high from glue fumes when the re-glued the carpets at work… the ugly, waking up with paint on my face! I swore I took a shower before I went to bed!
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 12:46
Shame man, that sucks!
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:47
Misread as going to art class high, had some lols, realized you GOT high, had even MORE lols, finding out you had paint on your face, pushed me over the lol-edge
DragonSpirit009
April 8, 2016 at 12:48
Glad I could supply you with some lol’s! ^_^
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:49
Glue induced art, heh
DragonSpirit009
April 8, 2016 at 13:01
I would have been awesome if I had a project that was abstracted and stuff then the highness would have helped. But I was working with a palette knife and trying to paint an autumn leaf on a small canvas. Half the paint ended on me!
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 13:09
This imagery of you painting autumn leaves while high is pleasing to my endorphin count.
DragonSpirit009
April 8, 2016 at 13:14
Well the picture did kinda came out good in the end…
Raptor Rants
April 8, 2016 at 13:42
wow. Ok. That’s pretty good actually!
Alien Emperor Trevor
April 8, 2016 at 12:53
That kinda happened to me once at work. Guys were purifying refrigerant gas in the workshop, left, didn’t remove the drum from the hot water, damn thing swelled up like a balloon, had to help another guy to relieve the pressure before it exploded, got a face full of gas, was nicely woozy for the next hour haha.
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 12:57
I had to clad a walk in cupboard once, using contact glue and some pressed wood, I remember starting and walking into my own home and wondering why everything smelt like shoes, needless to say, I didn’t do a very good job of it, it turned out more like a walk in panel…
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:58
…got a face full of gas…
Like my wife get’s when I have too much dunked wings
Grimthwacker
April 8, 2016 at 13:02
Also, never inhale over ‘n bottle of chloroform to find out what it smells like…. I still can’t remember the smell.
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:03
Third time is the charm?
Grimthwacker
April 8, 2016 at 13:08
Third time is the time I ask someone else to tell me how it smells. 😀
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:09
[wakes up after a while]
I smell bacon
DragonSpirit009
April 8, 2016 at 13:02
I feel your woozy-ness dude!
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:48
Some sad news and good news (kinda)
So, I got an additional Kubrow last night, a male. Named him after our fallen hamster
#NEVARRRFORGET
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 12:53
I’m conflicted about upvoting this post…
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 12:59
His memory will live on forever in my Kubrow
Alien Emperor Trevor
April 8, 2016 at 13:08
Should’ve named it Rince. Then you wouldn’t feel bad if it dies & you can’t revive it.
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:09
Then it would NEVER get a revive.
I don’t know the type though, my first of that kind, my first male Kubrow as well (2 other females in stasis)
Alien Emperor Trevor
April 8, 2016 at 13:32
You should’ve received a couple of new kubrow mods when first incubating him, those’ll tell you what he’ll be once the process is finished.
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:36
I’ve been busy, so I put Miss Molly in stasis, noticed I can incubate, did that, and last night it hatched.
He is a Raksa Kubrow
Alien Emperor Trevor
April 8, 2016 at 14:06
I’ve got at least one of each breed, trying to get a male & female of each, so I can have my own little kubrow ark. But now I’m hoarding the eggs until the kavats are released, got 5. Missed a few more from random drops because I couldn’t collect them bah.
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:02
And here I am stuck at a new brewery, that has no beer yet, waiting my ass off for a certain ISP’s techie to come install fibre router.
What is wrong with the picture?
No, not the waiting. THE LACK OF BEER
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:04
What’s worse is being at a brewery and not being allowed to have any of their 80 million tons of beer…
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:07
More like 30 000 litres, but yeah, I’m standing here, looking at the brewery, in silence, pensive, sad
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:10
They’re not bottling yet, hey? There are two smells at a brewery, one is similar to the smell of microwaved muesli, rich, toasty and much like something the body craves for, the other, well, that’s definitely not a smell you’d use to promote the new Mr. Min shine and dine…
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:12
No, not brewing yet, but all the shiny tanks are purdy
Greylingad[CNFRMD]
April 8, 2016 at 13:16
Man, I miss visiting the breweries, some of them are bloody spectacular, the one in Meyerton specifically, just… I have never seen a brewery look so clinical and so inviting at the same time…
Darren Peach
April 8, 2016 at 13:30
Lol. That video was actually funny. Would have been totes cool if it cut to you walking on the beach on a overcast day looking all dejected, with the music playing. Then, Cut to a shot of Geoff running towards you in slow mo. Cut to a ultra wide where you meet in the middle of the frame and hug, still same song playing, fade to black
Admiral Chief in New York
April 8, 2016 at 13:31
Geoff and Darryn hug? HAHAHA
There is a better chance of the ninja turtle resigning
Sageville
April 8, 2016 at 13:32
That header image of the week….
I still laugh thinking of that advert….
AdMortem
April 8, 2016 at 16:37
The header image was for an anti-dandruff shampoo. Forgot the brand though.