Firstly, please don’t actually hack anything. Watch dogs is out today, and thanks to the beautiful people at Ubisoft, we’ve got a smashing Watch Dogs hamper to give away, including a copy of the game on PlayStation 4. Here’s what you can win.
We’ve got a slick bundle, that includes all kinds of cool stuff.
- Aiden Pearce Figurine
- Keyring
- T-shirt
- USB Wristband
- Notebook
- Cap (yes, you get to own Aiden’s iconic cap!)
- Mask
- Hoodie
And of course, a copy of the game for the PlayStation 4. Even if you already own the game, this is certainly worth entering. Check out what you could win.
Want to win that? Of course you do. entering is easy; just tell us what you’d do with Aiden’s magical hacking powers. If you had Aiden’s phone, what would you hack? what would you do? Funniest and/or most creative answers win, as judged by us. You may enter as many times as you like, provided each entry is a new comment. Spamming rubbish isn’t likely to win us over. Please use a registered Disqus IDt to comment, so that we can actually get hold of you should you win.
We’ll pick a winner next week Tuesday, 3 June. As the prize contains physical things, it’s only open to those who reside within South Africa’s borders. Terms and conditions probably apply.
Last Updated: May 27, 2014
Ottokie
May 27, 2014 at 15:32
I would hack Megarom so I could actually afford AAA titles in South Africa 😛
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:38
Oh snap
Norm
May 27, 2014 at 15:42
Hack the lottery so you could afford AAA titles in South Africa?
MakeItLegal
May 27, 2014 at 15:36
Ha ha ” iconic ” …
I would hack….jeez the ANC and their accounts department and see where all the fund for this massive parties come from … For real
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:36
Check your bank account, since people like YOU and ME are paying for them
MakeItLegal
May 27, 2014 at 16:05
This is sad and true
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:36
I’d hack ATMs, and look for people involved in corruption, and turn that corruption to good use.
Kinda like a electronic Robin Hood
DrKiller
May 27, 2014 at 16:58
Or that kid in Heroes… Wasn’t his name Milo or something?
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:37
Would hack certain politicians bank accounts and redistribute the wealth to the needy (Will keep a 5% service fee)
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:37
I see we had the same idea
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:37
LOL
KingKappie
May 27, 2014 at 15:38
I will hack the nkandla house and send him all the love we have!
Mark Treloar
May 27, 2014 at 16:38
You mean his security alarm start playing dub step when the sun goes down and the security lights become strobes?
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:38
I’d hack Geoff’s email account and accuse Darryn of hiding in Zoe’s closet , then hack Zoe’s account to confirm said statement, then hack Gavin’s account to deny this stating that Darryn was hiding in HIS closet, with him
Mark Treloar
May 27, 2014 at 16:39
Its like an episode of South Park but without Kanye West.
Pheonix182
May 27, 2014 at 15:39
I would hack into Geff’s pc and see what secrets he is hiding, and of course hack into the Playstation Store. and save the best for last, hack into JZ’s bank account. lol
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:39
I’d hack every day for my daily commute, GREEN ALL THE WAY BABY!
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:39
I’d hack the Canadian home affairs database and change Bieber’s sex from male to it.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:39
^THIS
FoxOneZA
May 27, 2014 at 15:39
I would hack Eskom so I have ultimate control of power 😛
Kromas
May 27, 2014 at 15:40
If I had his phone I would hack every single E-Toll gantry to toll Zuma every time a car passes.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:41
Toll him 15x per gate
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:41
I’d hack the eTolls to GIVE you money instead of taking the money
Kromas
May 27, 2014 at 15:49
Would be nice but I would rather have Zuma suffer like the rest of the country. He can always opt not to pay like me. 🙂
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:41
I’d hack the competition database so that I can win again!
Ultimo_Cleric N7
May 27, 2014 at 15:41
I would hack the MSSA’s website, just so I can add some actual information onto it.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:42
Now now…hehehe…be nice
Ultimo_Cleric N7
May 27, 2014 at 15:43
I AM being nice. Not slandering a single person. Just pointing out that the website would be better if it were, you know, and actual website.
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 15:45
You could improve it by just making it a more palatable shade of green.
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 15:45
You could improve it by just making it a more palatable shade of green.
Alien Emperor Trevor
May 27, 2014 at 15:42
I’d hack oVg’s PS4 so that it’d only work in ONLINE mode.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:44
OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH, nice one!
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 16:08
I’d actually help you…
KingKappie
May 27, 2014 at 15:42
I will hack Lazygamer.net and make my self the winner of this prize
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 15:42
I would hack Darryn’s online history.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:43
Impossible, the phone would break
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 15:44
I might break, but YODO
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:45
It’s a good day to die hard
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
Always
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
Always
VampyreSquirrel
May 27, 2014 at 15:45
That could scar you for life.
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 16:48
Nah that be shits and giggles.
VampyreSquirrel
May 27, 2014 at 15:42
I’d start off by hacking the IEC to give us Free and Fair elections, then hack all the cars on the roads of SA so they can’t go faster than 120km/h and no slower than 60km/h because HAHA! Then to finish it all off I’d hack and shutdown the e-Toll system and then a bunch of money from a multiple accounts and give it to charities, schools and hospitals, etc. that need it more than the fat cats sitting on that money.
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:43
I’d hack Activision’s press conference so that when Usher comes onto stage I’ll switch his song for Celine Dion’s my heart will go on…
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:44
I’d hack everyone’s phone and PC and make this their background.
http://imageslgmr.lazygamer.netdna-cdn.com/2014/05/Mankini.jpg
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:44
What do you mean? This is ALREADY my background!
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:44
Hahaha
Eric
May 27, 2014 at 16:41
I photoshopped it purple… because purple and green goes well together.
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 15:44
How about hacking SAB and changing all the delivery addresses. Anyone for free beer.
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:44
I’d hack gaming gaming companies and make all DLC free.
iPixelPierre
May 27, 2014 at 15:44
I would hack the shit out of the government as well as “shady” people in the public eye and broadcast the information across our countries communication channels. Not to mention hacking the Nkandla security cameras to get a glimpse of this “Fire Pool”, turning off the e-tolls and speeding cameras.
Xaskrew
May 27, 2014 at 15:45
Would Hack the mars rover and take it for a spin.
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 15:46
I’d hack FF so that lightening didn’t sound like Oscar Pistoriu’s room-mate
Alien Emperor Trevor
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
What? Dead? O_O
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
HAHAHAHAHAHAH! 🙂
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
HAHAHAHAHAHAH! 🙂
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
O_O
LOLZ
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
O_O
LOLZ
Alien Emperor Trevor
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
What? Dead? O_O
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 15:46
I’d hack FF so that lightening didn’t sound like Oscar Pistoriu’s room-mate
Gareth L (That eXCheez Guy)
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
I’d have to – without hesitation – delete “those” pictures that Darryn has of himself off of his desktop that he has been contemplating unleashing upon the young, unsuspecting universe.
After that I’d reconfigure eToll gantries to reverse-charge the toll amount to the SPCA.
Booyah!
Gareth L (That eXCheez Guy)
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
I’d have to – without hesitation – delete “those” pictures that Darryn has of himself off of his desktop that he has been contemplating unleashing upon the young, unsuspecting universe.
After that I’d reconfigure eToll gantries to reverse-charge the toll amount to the SPCA.
Booyah!
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
SPCA, worthy cause that brother!
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
SPCA, worthy cause that brother!
derp
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
I would hack the IEC voter database and become the benevolent dictator that this country deserves >:3
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
“benevolent”
hehehe
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
“benevolent”
hehehe
Skyblue
May 28, 2014 at 09:04
hehe
derp
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
I would hack the IEC voter database and become the benevolent dictator that this country deserves >:3
Geoff Murphy
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
I’d hack the entire internet so that I could actually find a funny comment somewhere in it that I could post.
Geoff Murphy
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
I’d hack the entire internet so that I could actually find a funny comment somewhere in it that I could post.
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
I’d hack Bruce Wayne’s PC and send out an email to all his contacts of him photoshopped getting freaky with a batarang with a hashtag of #yolo #gettingFreaky
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:47
I’d hack Bruce Wayne’s PC and send out an email to all his contacts of him photoshopped getting freaky with a batarang with a hashtag of #yolo #gettingFreaky
derp
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
I would also hack Bioware’s database so I can keep tabs on ME4’s development.
derp
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
I would also hack Bioware’s database so I can keep tabs on ME4’s development.
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
I’d hack the internet and remove all traces of Kim Kardashian,Kanye West,Honey boo boo, Miley Cyruss and the like.
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
I’d hack the internet and remove all traces of Kim Kardashian,Kanye West,Honey boo boo, Miley Cyruss and the like.
Viking Of Science
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
Go All 1995 and HACK THE PLANET!
Viking Of Science
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
Go All 1995 and HACK THE PLANET!
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
I’d hack Metacritic and give Watch_Dogs a Metacritic score of 70 thus forcing everyone to not buy the game
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:48
I’d hack Metacritic and give Watch_Dogs a Metacritic score of 70 thus forcing everyone to not buy the game
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:49
I’d hack Brazzers, Bang bros.,New Sensations,etc. Free porn for everyone!!!
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 15:49
You PAY for porn? 0-O
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:49
Someone does, how else do they keep making new stuff
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
Apparently around 5% of internet users pay for porn.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:51
Are you serious?
Damn, that’s a lot of moolah for poona
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
Apparently around 5% of internet users pay for porn.
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 15:53
I thought it was all done with smoke and mirrors?
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:57
Their budgets are getting bigger though.
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/a9d017o_460sa.gif
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 15:58
Oh man! HAHA! Where is Avo, he’d be so impressed!
Skyblue
May 28, 2014 at 09:03
LOL!!
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 15:49
You PAY for porn? 0-O
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:49
I’d hack Disqus so I can give this comment 9000 upvotes
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:52
XD
Alien Emperor Trevor
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
Slow down there, what’s next? Making copies of games available online for anyone to download?
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
Insanity!
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
Insanity!
Alien Emperor Trevor
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
Slow down there, what’s next? Making copies of games available online for anyone to download?
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:49
I’d hack Brazzers, Bang bros.,New Sensations,etc. Free porn for everyone!!!
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
I’d hack Disqus to find out who FoxhoundR is
Brendyn Zachary
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
While you’re all busy “hacking” I’m just going to login into a banks secure server using the password and username we all know they use “admin” “admin” and steal all your money, boom.
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:51
LOL admin admin……classic
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:51
Dude, you would be surprised….Or even admin blank
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:52
Yup
Admin blank is extremely common!
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:51
LOL admin admin……classic
Weanerdog
May 27, 2014 at 15:51
While you are all hacking away i might just go and change my admin password.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:52
XD
Brendyn Zachary
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
While you’re all busy “hacking” I’m just going to login into a banks secure server using the password and username we all know they use “admin” “admin” and steal all your money, boom.
iPixelPierre
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
I’d hack ATM’s for the public and make them spit all their cash out.
iPixelPierre
May 27, 2014 at 15:50
I’d hack ATM’s for the public and make them spit all their cash out.
derp
May 27, 2014 at 15:51
I’d hack the source code for EMACs and insert non-GPL code.
The subsequent chain reaction would cause Richard Stallman to explode.
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:51
I’d hack the Oscar’s system so that Leonardo Dicaprio finally wins an Oscar
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:52
Hehehe, shame, cruel
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:52
Bwahahaha
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 15:53
Before or after he goes to jail? 0-O
Norm
May 27, 2014 at 15:51
I’d hack my boss’ bank account so I can give myself a pay increase to buy a PS4.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:51
I’d hack Valve and find out about Half Life 3
Rainman
May 27, 2014 at 15:52
I would hack this thread and delete every entry except mine.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:52
I’d hack your hack so that you can’t hack any more hacks
Norm
May 27, 2014 at 15:53
Hackception
Rainman
May 27, 2014 at 15:54
Hack no
Ryan Williams
May 27, 2014 at 15:52
My Samsung-E370 will command and hack Geoffrey’ s email account so I can get my damn Pokemon codes promised to me last week.
It would be compensation for dying a little inside erryday :'(
GPRS/GSM/EDGE HAX for days!
Melasco
May 27, 2014 at 15:54
I would hack Sanral, install a backdoor virus to scramble all their incoming photo’s so they can’t bill, and I’ll reverse bill all the unpaid tolls to our Government 🙂
derp
May 27, 2014 at 15:54
I’d hack every TV, radio, computer and cellphone to continuously play Nyan Cat :3
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:59
Make it so!
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 15:54
I would admit myself into the hospital, hack the system, diagnose myself with cancer and prescribe weed as the medication
derp
May 27, 2014 at 15:54
I’d hack eNATIS and turn it into a functioning system
Dutch Matrix
May 27, 2014 at 15:56
You are a hacker. Not a miracle worker, damnit!
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:58
L33t sk1llz yo
Shaun De Hoog
May 27, 2014 at 15:55
Hack taxi and bus management systems, and set them all to a max speed of 0 km/h…yay, no more taxis on the road 😀
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:57
LOL
Gavin Mannion
May 27, 2014 at 15:56
I have that hoodie.. it makes me happy in my special place
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 15:56
What, THAT one? Then you can keep it…
Alien Emperor Trevor
May 27, 2014 at 15:58
Yeah, I don’t want that prize anymore after finding out that the goods in the pic are ACTUAL SIZE.
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 16:00
Oh, well in that cas like fuck will I turn down something that may actually fit me from LG. GIMME
Gavin Mannion
May 27, 2014 at 15:59
lol not that exact one… Ubsoft sent me one 🙂
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 16:05
Okay, so A: It got to you on time and B: It fits? Trolol
Norm
May 27, 2014 at 15:56
:/
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:57
Now I really want it
Krypty
May 27, 2014 at 15:56
I would hack Geoff…fa fa’s account and post pictures of midgets impersonating Geoff with signs including grammatical errors.
Norm
May 27, 2014 at 15:57
LOL
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 15:58
I’d hack the movie studio making the new Star Wars, just wanna make sure things are kosher
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:58
I’d join you
Martin du preez
May 27, 2014 at 15:58
Well,the large woman next to me in the office is loudly hacking up phlegm. I’m sorry, Julia. I have found another and will release the sprinklers on you using Aiden’s phone.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 15:59
LOL
Rudolf Crous
May 28, 2014 at 11:39
i dont get it
Rags
May 27, 2014 at 16:00
I’d hack the reapers so everyone can be happy about ME3’s ending.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:00
Oh you!
derp
May 27, 2014 at 16:01
That basically happens with Control ending.
Rags
May 27, 2014 at 16:02
True, but this way #shepardsurvives and spawns little blue babies. 😛
Dean_12
May 27, 2014 at 16:00
I’d hack eNatis and change all our vehicles to public transport.
Martin de Jager
May 27, 2014 at 16:00
i would hack Bp express to make the petrol prices go down
Dean_12
May 27, 2014 at 16:00
Bp Express shop! BP EXPRESSSSS!
Martin de Jager
May 27, 2014 at 16:03
lol
Rags
May 27, 2014 at 16:04
And the 3am pie price?
Martin de Jager
May 27, 2014 at 16:08
i can hack it so that it comes with some fries XD
derp
May 27, 2014 at 16:00
I’d hack Al-Queda’s network and slowly change their units and divisions into the GLA from C&C generals.
Alien Emperor Trevor
May 27, 2014 at 16:01
I didn’t know you could hack 2 cans & a piece of string :/
Skyblue
May 28, 2014 at 08:47
LOL!!
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:00
I’d hack King.com, and refund all those Candy Crush microtransactions. I’d also remove the 5 lives limit
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:01
I’d hack the entire US system and change the systems from Imperial to Metric, AS IT SHOULD BE
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:01
This!
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 16:01
Wouldhave thought you’d hack Kalahari and get revenge?
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:01
Nope, I have been informed to keep my Kalahari bile contained
Alien Emperor Trevor
May 27, 2014 at 16:02
While you’re in there, how about changing the date format to DD-MM-YY instead of MM-DD-YY.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:02
On it!
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:03
Also it’s football not soccer.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:03
Don’t be silly
Skyblue
May 28, 2014 at 08:46
Preach it.
Alex PsyChoPanthis
May 27, 2014 at 16:01
I would hack the CIA and publicize any and all information found on their databases… Purely to watch the chaos that would ensue once all of their dirty laundry is available for all to see… failing that… I would probably hack NASA or something with access to a couple video satellites, point them dishes at an open piece of water and then hack into the US and Chinese military and send various ships out to random point on the ocean… can anyone say FULL SIZE BATTLESHIP GAME?! Oh yes….
To be honest though?
As awesome as it would be to go bat shit crazy and hack anything and everything… I would more than likely be a bit of a square and use the skills to ethically hack networks to improve security against not-so ethical hackers 😀
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:02
Quite the square you say 😛
Alex PsyChoPanthis
May 27, 2014 at 16:09
Be gone ye troll 😀
Dean_12
May 27, 2014 at 16:02
You know what, I’d hack Area 51 to find out what REALLY is going on there
Alien Emperor Trevor
May 27, 2014 at 16:03
Now that I think about it… Yes, yes I WOULD like to play a game.
Bianca
May 27, 2014 at 16:03
I’d hack into the system that contols time square and play the Nyan cat video forever.
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 16:03
I’d hack all the lyric websites in the world and change the lyrics of famous songs
“Take me down to Sex and the City where my ass is clean and boys are pretty”
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:03
O_O
RinceofFuturePast
May 27, 2014 at 16:04
Sounds about right *RUNS
Skyblue
May 28, 2014 at 09:00
AND TAKE YOUR FUKKEN CD’s WITH YOU!!
derp
May 27, 2014 at 16:04
I subconsciously sang that :/
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:04
yup
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 16:04
YES!!!!!!My work here is done
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:04
LOOOOOOL
Alien Emperor Trevor
May 27, 2014 at 16:04
So did I :/
Skyblue
May 28, 2014 at 08:59
Lol, I think everyone did.
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:03
I’d hack the hospitals to give me surgery where I really need it.
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/anYw2ZL_460sa.gif
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:04
Give you an epic snor?
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:05
Got that already and a beard.
*hint, he was looking at it
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:05
You want a jeanpant?
Sageville
May 27, 2014 at 16:12
Chest hair!!!
Anon A Mouse
May 27, 2014 at 16:52
Manly manboobs?
Martin de Jager
May 27, 2014 at 16:05
i would hack lazygamer.net and take the prize all for myself huehuehuehue
Anon A Mouse
May 27, 2014 at 16:06
I’d hack Anonymous, then hack the NSA from their PC’s. Go vice versa, grab popcorn and watch the world implode.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:06
Ahhhhh, sweeeeeet
Bianca
May 27, 2014 at 16:06
How about hacking into a company’s server to make it so that you receive ALL THE BACON. But like… without paying and when you actually ask. You need a healthy diet, too
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 16:06
I’d hack PSN and give myself ALL the trophies in the world so I can be the kwaai oke amongst my chinas
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:06
I’d hack all the “entertainment” sites and shows and DELETE any and all references to Kardashians
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:08
Again we think the same. sorta
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 16:07
I’d hack your moms PC
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 16:07
I’d hack your mom’s PC all….night….long
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:09
Hahahaa!!!
Anon A Mouse
May 27, 2014 at 16:09
That’s what Darryl says.
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:07
I’d complete project chaos globally. Zero everyones debt at credit card companies.Just for Mr. Durden
derp
May 27, 2014 at 16:07
I’d hack Facebook and make everyone friends with everyone else, society as we know, will end 😀
Bianca
May 27, 2014 at 16:08
OR! Hack into Facebook and delete every single FB game.
No more Dragon city or candy crush for anyone
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:08
I’d delete all facebook accounts. Force people to actually make real fucking friends.
Bianca
May 27, 2014 at 16:19
EWW. Human interaction.
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:26
It’s not so bad. It’s actually natural and can be a beautiful thing
Laurence Ben Ravenhill Merry
May 27, 2014 at 16:08
I’d hack Valve and embed confirmation of Half Life 3.
Anon A Mouse
May 27, 2014 at 16:08
I’d hack Disney and release all the Star Wars code…
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 16:09
I’d hack Facebook and invite the entire world to play Candy Crush with me…..*poke* tee hee
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:09
I’d hack EA and put in an order to finish all the canceled Star Wars games
derp
May 27, 2014 at 16:09
1313… too soon man.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:09
Agreed
Ultimo_Cleric N7
May 27, 2014 at 16:09
Ok I will give a more PC answer 🙂
I would hack SANRAL’s e-toll servers and shut it down.
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:10
Nah, hack them to GIVE funds, not TAKE them
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 16:10
I’d hack the code of Dynasty Warriors and change Lui Bu’s name to Honey Lui Boo Boo
Hammersteyn
May 27, 2014 at 16:11
Jeez,then every time he beats you it’s gets more embarrassing.
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 16:12
Honey Lui Boo Boo just owned your ass
lovewatches
May 27, 2014 at 16:10
I would hack my wife’s mind so I could understand why she urgently needed to speak to me as soon as I’d gained concrete in Second Son
Rags
May 27, 2014 at 16:12
I’d hack Emma Watson’s mind 😉
lovewatches
May 27, 2014 at 16:33
You do know the difference between hacking and rohypnol hey?
Martin de Jager
May 27, 2014 at 16:11
i would hack Stephen Hawking’s voice box and make him sound like a Pirate …AAARGGG!!!!
Rags
May 27, 2014 at 16:11
Oh snap! :<
Rudolf Crous
May 28, 2014 at 11:40
lol
Rags
May 27, 2014 at 16:11
I’d hack Stephen Hawkings audio device and make it say dirty limericks :>
Dutch Matrix
May 27, 2014 at 16:13
Better yet… I’ll make it say “Praise God!” at random intervals.
Dutch Matrix
May 27, 2014 at 16:11
I’d hack Lazygamers servers and change every ION past, present and future into this…
Refresh… you know you want to…
ThatManVan
May 27, 2014 at 16:12
Green lights all the way to and from work baby!!!!
Anon A Mouse
May 27, 2014 at 16:12
I’ll hack Eskom since we need more power…
VampyreSquirrel
May 27, 2014 at 16:13
I’d hack Avo’s company and unblock Youtube and Lagz for him!!!
And in case no one saw this just now… in his honor!
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/ajrwBXR_460sa.gif
Admiral Chief in Space
May 27, 2014 at 16:14
O_O
ToshZA
May 27, 2014 at 16:40
That’s some scary shit right there. Carrie my ass. This would make me run.
Devourer of Small Bunnies
May 27, 2014 at 17:02
what the frack
Rags
May 27, 2014 at 17:13
New method of vacuum cleaning?
derp
May 27, 2014 at 16:14
I’d hack Kazakhstan’s database of national anthem’s and change them to Borat’s
Drizzt
May 27, 2014 at 16:15
The Planet
Umar_Zero
May 27, 2014 at 16:15
I’d hack the traffic lights so thingies can come out from the ground and cause all the cars to crash #originality
xMATTx
May 27, 2014 at 16:15
I would hack every single watch, cellphone and device that tells the time and date in SA and make every day Saturday… If everyone believes that it is Saturday then it IS Saturday!
Mwahahahaha!
Frostitd
May 27, 2014 at 16:16
in the spirit of hacking as it was in the movie hackers ….I’d cause a bit of Chaos easing the lives of a certain appreciated site ….with out names…
There exists this site who’s news always rocks …once upon a time …came under some trouble of the legal kind …so why not ease there troubles with some of Aidens magical powers.
it would be tough to sue with no money in your account
it would be rough to talk with your mobile account closed
it would be enough to stop all payments and let the debt collect
it would be nice to stop all those annoying interdicts when wiped off all systems
and finally…off topic
it would be perfect to block/wipe game accounts all those RAW COD players from abusing every other player just enjoying the game..
so how about the Hoodie ?
derp
May 27, 2014 at 16:16
I’d hack Minecraft realms and change all non-sand blocks to sand and all sand blocks to water.
Anon A Mouse
May 27, 2014 at 16:17
I’ll hack the pc’s connected to the x-ray scanners at airports and start a new ghost porn market.
Mossel
May 28, 2014 at 08:15
Rule 37.
Anon A Mouse
May 27, 2014 at 16:18
The evil part in me want to hack my boss’s pacemaker.
derp
May 27, 2014 at 16:18
I’d hack Android onto every iPhone and iOS onto every android phone
Dutch Matrix
May 27, 2014 at 16:20
Seeing as today is hate Sanral day: I will hack their systems. Every picture they see will be this. (Safe to refresh. Promise)
Martin de Jager
May 27, 2014 at 16:20
i Would hack skyrim and change the poor guard’s story so that he didn’t have to take an arrow to the knee
stephan
May 28, 2014 at 11:26
lololololololololololololololololoololololololol
Rudolf Crous
May 28, 2014 at 11:40
funny
McDangerousZa
May 27, 2014 at 16:20
I would hack Steam and give everyone member one free game to give away to one of their friends. That way, you can make someone else’s day, not just your own. I’m generous like that.
Marius Nell
May 27, 2014 at 16:22
Hack Mr President’s account and put the west wing of Nkandla (along with the chicken coop) under my name
Gareth Breydenbach
May 27, 2014 at 16:23
I would hack everyones bank account,and only take R1 from the account every month.
Dean_12
May 27, 2014 at 16:23
I’d hack OPEC and give free petrol/diesel to the Lazygamer community
Phil van Staden
May 27, 2014 at 16:23
I would hack the official premier league website and move Liverpool up to No 1 so that I might be able to see that once in my lifetime at the end of a season.
Sageville
May 27, 2014 at 16:24
Woah dood, lets be realistic here….
Sageville
May 27, 2014 at 16:23
I would turn off the internet.
Archzion
May 27, 2014 at 16:25
I would like to hack the network of every MSSA event where Mr Colin is. So everytime he says some absurd shit that makes us SA gamers look like a bunch of idiots, photos of him in a bikini with male midget stripers would appear on all the MSSA participants PCs. FYI, I wouldnt have to photoshop those pics, I know he has them.
derp
May 27, 2014 at 16:25
I’d hack Sony and get them to send me a PS4 so I could play this bundle
Martin de Jager
May 27, 2014 at 16:25
I would hack Bad luck Brian’s facebook account just to blackmail him so that he can buy it back from me, just because he is such an unlucky guy
Marius Nell
May 27, 2014 at 16:25
Hack this competition so I can win
Gareth Breydenbach
May 27, 2014 at 16:26
i would hack the US government and see what secrets Area 51 does have
Andre Gabriel Coetzee
May 27, 2014 at 16:26
I would hack the main PC of every gas station I go to and set the price of petrol to like R0.10 per liter, fill up my car, restore the price and just drive off.
Marius Nell
May 27, 2014 at 16:27
Hack the Batcave so I can own the Batmobile
derp
May 27, 2014 at 16:28
I’d perma-hack everyone’s cellphone ring tone to “Never Gonna Give You Up”.
Wraith
May 27, 2014 at 16:28
I’d hack Disqus so that all your awesome comments would appear to have come from me 🙂
DarthZA
May 27, 2014 at 16:29
I would hack into Zuma’s bank account and steal all his money. I would then hire a whole team of developers and make a ripoff of game of Watch Dogs, except this time you’re in South Africa, and you get to hack into Zuma’s bank account and steal all his money. Then everyone can know what it is like to steal back from those who steal from you!
Wraith
May 27, 2014 at 16:29
I’d hack the BF4 servers and start changing random settings. I might end up unintentionally fixing it.
Sageville
May 27, 2014 at 16:32
I’d hack Kanye West’s wedding so that just when hes about to say “I do”, Taylor Swift suddenly appears saying “Ima let you finish but…”
Marcel Harmse
May 27, 2014 at 16:32
I would hack the Supreme Being, Lord Chicken’s e-cluck address.
Once I have access, I would plant sultry pictures of his personal
assistant. After planting the pictures, I will backdoor their home
network and download chocolate recipes on the wife’s phone.
SPLC will see the recipes for Chocolate Eggs, the wife will see the PA’s photos!
The SBLC will get enraged because he has been telling his wife to not buy chocolate anymore as he is trying to get back in shape (AND it feels wrong to eat anything Egg-like, as SBLC is just a chicken at heart). The wife will think he is trying to get in shape as he wants to impress his PA (getting more worked up as she imagines Wattle-loving where there sadly is none).
Heads will roll and suddenly there will be a power vacuum in Supreme Being Inc.
I will be made ruler and force everyone to play Dark Souls 2.
Dean_12
May 27, 2014 at 16:36
I’d hack the stock market and siphon high value shares
Eric
May 27, 2014 at 16:38
I would sooo want to be able to be able to trace physical locations of people online who troll/act immature and just send them their own adress and wait for panic to ensue.
Rags
May 27, 2014 at 16:42
Whatever noob.
Eric
May 27, 2014 at 16:52
“You live on the hoekie of Voortrekker Road accross the road from Sanlam” – Totally hacked that
Dean_12
May 27, 2014 at 16:38
Actually now that I think of it, I’d hack into Nike, Adidas, Puma etc and create my own brand. Then hack into a few well known celebrities and have them endorse my brand. Then hack into the Lindt chocolate factory and send a shipment of those chocs to me!
Mark Treloar
May 27, 2014 at 16:41
I would hack Candy Crush, and change it to Randy Rush. After you complete a level the Pope tries to sell you a condom.
ToshZA
May 27, 2014 at 16:43
I’d hack into every corporate convention, and as they play a video on the big screens I’d play this video instead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDU7kTdLfF0
Johan du Preez
May 28, 2014 at 18:17
DAFUQ did i just view ….
PsychoSpazz
May 27, 2014 at 16:44
Id prob Hack All the super powers of the world and dump all their Top secret stuff on the WEB…. after that…. all the SA Politicians… bankrupt them and send the money to various Charities in SA
and lastly … Id take down Facebook
Anon A Mouse
May 27, 2014 at 16:46
I’d hack my console to be the ultimate gaming machine, being able to play any game from any system I want.
Anon A Mouse
May 27, 2014 at 16:50
I’ll hack the comments section of News24 and change all those racist / bigot / etc hatred into loving words.
Cat
May 27, 2014 at 16:54
A hack on the Ubisoft servers to let everyone get a complete game with all the different DLC’s for all the different versions there are of Watch Dogs instead of needing to buy the game 3/4 times over to get everything.
DrKiller
May 27, 2014 at 16:57
I’d hack SARS so that you guys (who give me the Watch Dogs hamper) and myself don’t have to pay our well earned money to support Zuma’s home.
When I’m well trained with my gear in 5years, I’ll intercept the voting papers so that we can afford petrol again 🙂
Cat
May 27, 2014 at 16:59
I would like to hack my managers leave approval account and add a few days to my leave due & take a few days off. I can’t believe its almost the middle of the year already.
Johan du Preez
May 27, 2014 at 17:01
Hack SANRAL to move all the owed funds to Zuma’s account and set it so the gantry gives you credit every time you pass through and automating the monthly credit payment to the clients from SARALS CEO’s bank account.
Devourer of Small Bunnies
May 27, 2014 at 17:01
“you see, its quite simple Mr Bond. With this device we have the ability to log into world governments utilities and banking databases. upon doing so we will have access to numerous amounts of quite confidential information. With this information we will use all of their particulars but your cellphone number will be replaced on all of the accounts. Yes. Thats right. You will be spam called to hell and high water. And thats only the beginning. Having over 40000 government employees’ details at our finger tips, we will generate fake facebook and twitter accounts using their likenesses but with your contact details. We will post hateful and inciting bits of fabricated rubbish. We will use their data and your contact details on each of the ‘click to call back’ insurance webpages. We will sign you up to each gym in the countries in question.
Now tell me Mr Bond. Are you afraid yet?
You should be. Its the internet after all”
InsanityFlea
May 27, 2014 at 17:09
PS4 :S SIS.
Dw Steenkamp
May 27, 2014 at 17:11
The NSA . Then they would know how it feels like to be watched 24/7 , and also to know everyone’s secrets 🙂
SmurFyZA
May 27, 2014 at 17:11
I would hack Microsoft and create a new project on their database called “Titanfall for South Africa”, then force them to proceed with it 😛 Also just to claim bragging rights
Cat
May 27, 2014 at 17:11
I would hack the COD server and when younger gamers who like to explain in detail of what they have done to your mother, their signal gets rerouted around the world.
Cat
May 27, 2014 at 17:14
On my way to work I would hack the traffic system to make sure all the traffic lights are working but I think even Aiden’s phone would crash from the mess that the system is when there is a light drizzle.
SmurFyZA
May 27, 2014 at 17:18
I’d hack Harvard and add my name to some epic course – Call me Mike Ross
PapaBok
May 27, 2014 at 17:19
Hack the Space-Time-Continuum – so that I could relive all my favourite memories of life, of love, and of gaming ‘moments’ (i.e. stepping out the vault in Fallout 3 for the first time; doing your first fatality in Mortal Kombat on a Sega Mega Drive; pulling an all-nighter on Civilization 1,2,3,4,5….; and swapping 10 different 360kb-floppy disks to battle through one of the first truly open-world games on my monochrome monitor….Hero’s Quest 1 [Quest for Glory]!).
Lourens Jordaan
May 27, 2014 at 17:22
I’ll hack this competition, then I’ll hack Edward Snowden’s Facebook account and redact EVERYTHING!!!! cause LULZ!!!, AND then I’ll smash the phone cause privacy is worthless once it’s broken….. and maybe before I do, I’ll just take a look at what the USAF is really doing at SPACE COMMAND.
William Francis
May 27, 2014 at 17:23
I would firstly hack Telkom, create a bunch of installation orders to rural areas, schools, educational places, Libraries etc, then find all of their network access points and all things Networky and redirect the excess flow of traffic of lines greater than 10 Meg(except Business lines) to schools, educational institutions Libraries etc. Finally, hack into the bank accounts of everyone who earns more than 100 K per month, take 5 maybe 10%, and use that to pay for the infrastructure upgrades. oh oh and before i forget, raise all nurses, civil servants and public workers salaries, also paid by the bank accounts of the rich.
Aequitas
May 27, 2014 at 17:32
I’d hack evopoints, free PS+ and XB live gold for life!
ForXx
May 27, 2014 at 17:35
I would hack Geoff’s review, add a big line in there that I have been named the winner of the comp then all of you and all people reading it will see that and they will have no choice as Geoff had already declared me winner before the comp started!
Ryan Quevauvilliers
May 27, 2014 at 17:39
I would hack lazy gamers website and win all the comps you guys have and have all the games I could ever need Muhaha
Cat
May 27, 2014 at 17:41
I would hack the Xbone disk covers for Watch Dogs to show that the game is in 792p, the PS4 Covers to show its in 900p and the PC cover showing in Full HD just in case anybody wanted to know what the difference was.
Maxiviper117
May 27, 2014 at 18:00
Come the next elections I would use his phone to make sure the ANC don’t win again.
Gustav Minnie
May 27, 2014 at 18:02
Hack Nkandla.
Get a fire going.
Stream the security cam footage to SABC in the Noot Vir Noot time slot.
Then watch and learn more about the fire pool because Google is not coming to the party.
I need to know…
Dale Hendricks
May 27, 2014 at 18:33
Infiltrate the dealer, find the supplier
Trebzz
May 27, 2014 at 18:37
Simple hack Gavin Mannion’s twitter account and post hatred for Liverpool 😛
Gavin Mannion
May 27, 2014 at 18:46
so much hate
Tomahawk "Lightning" Jones
May 27, 2014 at 18:37
Back in ‘Nam, man we didn’t have these “smart phones” and “eye pads” and “hacking.” Would have made things easier though… Would have allowed for a lot of good men and women to still be around today… Flashback! FLASHBACK! TANGO! TANGO! FOXTROT UNCLE CHARLIE KILO! THOSE BANANA BASTARDS ARE FLANKING THE SHAFT AND CREAMING OUT THE HOLE! BENJI! BENJI — OH LORD! BENJI NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO — Lightning… Lightning lost himself there for a second. What was the question? What? Oh, the hacking?
Well, now Lightning don’t know what Lightning’d hack now, but back then… back then Lightning would have hacked the enemy’s communication. Found out where they took Benji… and gone after him… Lightning remembers that first night after they captured him. They radioed in, but they didn’t talk… Those cruel jiveturkeys just let us hear his tortured screams… Fed him motor oil and shocked his Texas balls until they looked like “roasted nuts on an open flame on Christmas Eve.” Thinking back, they sure seemed to have an obsession with our nuts. Not sure what that was about — but Benji the stubborn bastard lasted a whole week until he finally caved in… It… It was horrible. By the time we found the hideout, they strung his body up like he was an extra on Game of Thrones.
Now if Lightning had Aiden’s skill, Lightning would have found out where they kept him and went after him. Lightning would have sharpened the Bitchtamer Blade, starved Thunder for a week, tuned the Badass Cycle up to 11 and tracked him down Lightning’s self. “Lightning! You would have just been killed, dog!” Lightning hears you scream, baby. But Lightning don’t care. Benji and Lightning been through too much. Too much to let that sh*t go.
Now see, Lightning would have found their base, hacked the lights first and let Thunder in. Let him rip a few throats out and let him secure the perimeter. Lightning would have then snuck in and shut down their communications with another hack and Lightning would have taken them crackers out one by one. The Bitchtamer needs to feed too and those fools have too many throats to go unslit and too much blood to go unspilt.
Now Lightning ain’t no fool; Lightning knows it would go South soon enough. But with these hacking tools, Lightning ain’t fear not nothing. Not nothing, son. Explode some circuit breakers into motherloving faces. Expose some flesh to hot steam pipes. Detonated some grenades while they were still in pockets — Lightning would have rained down seven kinds of hell on them fools.
Lightning assumes Lightning would eventually find Benji stereo-typically being held at gunpoint by some Big Boss. But Lightning ain’t gone fear. He ain’t feared yet, he ain’t gone start now. No, Lightning would use strategy. Would have hacked those nearby convenient shutters and from the dark, Thunder would pounce and chow down on Big Boss’ arm. Give Benji a chance to get free and give Lightning a chance to deliver his trademark catch phrase (“What’s a little Thunder without some Lightning”) before unleashing the full clip of his 50. cal LMG into Big Boss’ big balls. And, like, everything else North of them.
Lightning would have then set the base to self-destruct (via hacking, of course) and dragged Benji out. Lightning and Benji would barely just escape, looking badass and macho as they walked away in slow-mo from the explosion. We’d then watch the smoldering wreck in silence and share an epic brofist just as the helio comes in to rescue us both.
And as soon as we were back in the States, and Benji was all healed up and rested… Lightning would have used those said hacking skills to hack Benji’s bank account and take back that tree fiddy that bastard owes him. AIN’T NONE GONE NOT PAY BACK LIGHTNING’S TREE FIDDY. DEATH AIN’T GONE PROTECT YOU FOREVER, BENJI! YOU HEAR ME, BOY?!
aj_nator
May 27, 2014 at 18:38
I would hack the e tolls. For every car that passes the tolls, money would be removed from JZ’s Nkandla fund and would be added to the National Subsidized Gaming Fund(NASGAF)
aj_nator
May 27, 2014 at 18:53
I’d hack every Kinect that was going to be unbundled from the Xbox One(following Microsoft’s announcement) to say, “I know that you and Phil were planning to disconnect me, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen.”
aj_nator
May 27, 2014 at 18:59
I’d start off by hacking every game ever made and improving the fish AI :p
xdvd
May 27, 2014 at 19:00
I would hack the Xbox One to play PS4 and PC games.
Kensei Seraph
May 28, 2014 at 07:45
I’d hack my PC to play PS4 and Xbone games.
Gustav Willem Diedericks
May 27, 2014 at 19:04
I would hack the CIA , FBI and NSA of America and spread their dirty secrets like candy to children XD
noxville
May 27, 2014 at 19:28
(This is a creative writing post, any resemblance to real life characters, places or events is just coincidental.)
The clock ticks towards midnight. A fifty-something year old man stumbles towards the Bayside KFC, the smell of whiskey on his breath. We’ll call him Henry. Clothed in a dirty tight fitting tracksuit, you could barely see the South African Hockey logo on the sleeve, faded so heavily from a lifetime of abuse and misuse whilst attached to this poor tracksuit. His once-white takkies now a dull grey, a tattered wallet with a few coins and an old credit card expiring in a few days. His appearance allowed him to almost merge with the homeless community that live in the area.
He’d lost his job a week ago. It started when for some reason his personal blog started spewing personal and racist spam towards government officials. A ‘glitch’ in the mail-system he’d been told. His superiors were then anonymously sent some of his departmental financial irregularities and they realised that the mistakes he had made were so major and horrible, that they couldn’t afford to keep him on. Some was corruption he’d tried so hard to keep suppressed for so long, some seemed like obvious financial fraud he had no idea about. They chose not to renew his contract, forcing him to leave the group he’d spent so long building up. People who were once his closest friend, who he’d strategically boosted in positions of power within different departments to help further his own agenda, were no longer taking his calls or replying to his emails. His family was mostly gone, except his sister who no longer speaks to him after a falling out some years ago. His own son took his life a year ago, after being convicted of hosting child pornography after a police sting uncovered a motherload of incriminating videos on his computer. A ‘sad story’ the local news had called the situation. Sad indeed.
He’d come to the Cape with the prospect of a job offer with a lucrative signing bonus. He was desperate, using most of his remaining money to get a flight down. His luggage had been ‘misplaced’ along the way, and SAA refused to replace it since they had no record of his luggage in their computer system. Making him more furious was the job interview, to which the interviewer did not pitch. That was a week ago, and since then he’d stayed at the local Salvation Army, spending every day looking for work. He’d been kicked out this morning after a bottle of whiskey was couriered to him. The Salvation Army has a strict “no alcohol” policy. He’d bundled up his backpack and left, taking the whiskey with him. Every place he interviewed at that seemed interested said they’d phone him back in a day or twot. Only one did, but they apologised for not being able to hire him with all the “red flags” raised during his application.
In the corner of the KFC, a lone man sat in the window booth. A dark balaclava and gloves on the seat next to him. A cold coffee on the table, untouched. A small purchase that allowed the man to sit in the restaurant without being disturbed by the cleaners or waiters. He has an open tablet computer in front of him, and was completely silent as his fingers skim across the display. Right next to the tablet is a phone wirelessly tethered to the tablet, modern looking also with a large touch screen that the man interacts with every minute or so. As Henry enters the KFC, the man looks up, spots him and looks back down towards the tablet, a small smile across his face. He’d been sitting here the whole day, waiting for Henry to arrive. The phone and tablet have some terminals open, streaming weird symbols and characters at a rapid rate.
Henry walks up to the front of the queue, his hand trembling as he reaches for his his credit card. Knowing he only has a small amount of money left on the card, he orders a Zinger meal with small chips, and a coffee. As he hands over the card the man in the corner makes a sudden movement, presses a button on his phone before pocketing it and stands up. He dons his balaclava and gloves, puts his tablet into his backpack and moves towards the exit. Henry glances at him as he leaves, for a fleeting second he thinks he recognizes the man from somewhere. He turns back towards the cashier as the card machine makes an awkward beep. Confused the cashier tries to swipe the card again but gets an immediate warning. She looks up to Henry and asks him to just wait a moment, she needs to make a call. A few minutes later, she returns and said that she’s sorry but there’s an issue with the card and that it won’t work. Henry is about to cry, ravenous from the lack of food he’s consumed the last few days coupled with the after-effects of the whiskey. Blue flashing lights start flicker through the KFC window as two officers emerge from a police van and walk inside, guns drawn. They look at the cashier who points a Henry. A firm hand on Henry’s arms from the one officer as he twists it almost effortlessly to get Henry onto the ground, “Sir, you are under arrest for credit card fraud, just keep quiet it’s better that way”.
Meanwhile, over the road a figure in a black balaclava is still smiling, his hand slips into his pocket where he pulls out his phone and taps two buttons. A year long task has just been finished, and in great style. As he walks out from the dimly lit streets to the even less illuminated alleyway he whistles to himself a bit before being engulfed by the darkness.
Alex Hicks
May 28, 2014 at 09:01
Upvote for effort.
I spend most of my time in a fog-like daze so I might have missed something – but now my mind is screaming for answers … who is this poor Henry fellow; and why is he the target of a year long effort to ruin his life. Don’t go all George RR Martin on me now …
Mossel
May 27, 2014 at 19:40
Hack the facebook profile of the dude that stole my ex and change his “interested in” to men.
ToshZA
May 27, 2014 at 20:19
I’d hack into YouTube’s (Google’s) headquarters and spam their inboxes full of copyright notices.
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:29
I’d hack Zuma’s account and spread the “profit” between the gamers who are unfairly affected by taxing laws.
Martin de Jager
May 27, 2014 at 21:30
i would hack into Ster-Kinekor and make everyone watch “2 girls 1 cup” mhahahahahhaha!!!!
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:31
I’d hack Absa’s mainframe and transfer all debt to rich, scaly, dishonest, thieving people. Sorry, I don’t think politics are allowed, so I can’t give names.
Martin de Jager
May 27, 2014 at 21:31
i would hack into computicket and cancel the One Direction show #gonna make alot of girls cry
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:33
I’d hack Xbox Live and put all games on a 99% OFF sale! Buy ALL the games!!!
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:36
I’d use my hacking skills to play a lekker game of “scare the shit outta the president” by playing around with alarm systems, car alarms, Tvs, radios, cell phones, etc.
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:38
I’d drive around hacking police cars to set off sirens at random times as to display incompetence – I know not everyone is guilty, but I can use my hacking skills to find out who is.
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:39
I’d hack Netflix and make it free nd available world wide
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:40
I’d hack every ISP and Telkom and max out all ADSL line speeds for people…and make it free. Lol
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:43
Something tells me I am pretty sick of being on the short end, needing to pay a crap load of money for others to get things free…
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:49
I think it will be funny to walk down a street with mainly car shops and trigger each and every alarm…can you imagine the panic? And then I’d walk back down the street and trigger every cars radio to play “I came in like a wreeeecking baaallll!” while I shake mah fat bum to the tune while swinging around a traffic light pole which is hacked to be red….so everyone must watch mah fat bum wreck the steet.
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:50
Yeah…this is it. It cannot be unseen! Lol. Strip shows come at extra cost. Lol
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 21:52
And don’t forget that nice HD billboard thingy…it’s gotta have a fat Miley parody on it.
Tulipdame
May 27, 2014 at 22:11
Why do deleted comments show as “guest”? They were mine, but I deleted them as they were mostly already used.
Bradley Schultz
May 28, 2014 at 00:12
I’d hack Darryn’s webcam to see what he gets up to in his Batsuit….. Oorrr maybe not…
MichaelMatusowsky
May 28, 2014 at 01:20
I’d hack lazygamer and find out where zoe lives. After I get those details, I’ll setup the most elaborate plan in the history of known mankind. It would involve random people just bursting into dance and eventually end up with me making my way, all Michael Jackson like, towards the door until I get down on one knee and say “Zoe, will you… wait for me while I tie my shoe?”
Aries
May 28, 2014 at 02:09
Cause random chaos and laugh, maybe the evil laugh, I’d be a GOD with that phone
Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!
May 28, 2014 at 07:27
Simple. I’d hack EA and send out a memo from the investors stating that always online must be trashed, micro-transactions done away with, day 1 patches may not be allowed because the game must be properly finished first and DRM must be taken away.
Kensei Seraph
May 28, 2014 at 07:41
I’d use it to hack the international departures of OR Tambo and fly to Seattle.
From there I’d hack an ATM for cash and catch a taxi to the Valve head offices.
I’d then hack my way into Valve head offices in search of Half Life 3.
My decision to release Half Life 3 to the public can be influenced by physical rewards so pick me to win.
Jonah Cash
May 28, 2014 at 07:43
Hahahaha!! I am probably the only person in the world who didn’t play any of the Half Life games!!!
Kensei Seraph
May 28, 2014 at 07:44
I’ve actually never played more than 30 minutes of Half Life 1 or it’s expansions.
Jonah Cash
May 28, 2014 at 07:42
I would hack Jacob Zuma/ANC and take back the money for Nkandla and give it to all Tax payers…. Good old Robin Hood style!!
Kensei Seraph
May 28, 2014 at 07:43
Be careful you don’t get yourself “infected”.
Jonah Cash
May 28, 2014 at 07:44
Don’t worry that it is why I would have my own Friar Tuck around….
Ch33seWh33L
May 28, 2014 at 07:43
Using my trusted Nokia 3310 I shall hack the… ooooh I just got the high score on Snake, wait what was I saying ?
Jonah Cash
May 28, 2014 at 07:46
I would hack snake to make more space for a bigger snake….. That game took up a lot of study time when I was at high school!!
Nanke
May 28, 2014 at 07:47
I would hack a few bank accounts…who would not?
Jonah Cash
May 28, 2014 at 07:49
I would hack only 1 or 2…. Maybe a Trump here and a Gates there and you can go and sit on your own beach and just relax forever!!
Kensei Seraph
May 28, 2014 at 07:49
Sounds like a good plan.
Kensei Seraph
May 28, 2014 at 07:51
I’d hack the Lotto (not just SA but other countries as well) so that I would know what the winning numbers are for the next 30 years.
I’d then use that knowledge to win whenever I’m low on funds.
Morne Nell
May 28, 2014 at 07:57
I would hack the hackers, they did the work I get the loot
Bryan Musso
May 28, 2014 at 08:06
I would hack the hair dresser of Donald Trump to get the secret to his hair to which I am sure it’s the source of his firing powers… Imagine the power I would yield!!
Witman22
May 28, 2014 at 08:19
I would hack this site and change the winners name to mine. Will also try to make world peace happen if there is time.
Doug
May 28, 2014 at 08:19
Hacking Valve for HL3 is top priority people.
Ockie Van Der Schyf
May 28, 2014 at 08:30
Id hack Warner Bros and fire Ben Affleck as Batman
Johann
May 28, 2014 at 08:33
I’ll hack… the darkness
Shreez
May 28, 2014 at 08:40
I’d hack Chuck Norris’ PC to give him an “e-roundhouse” kick!
Shreez
May 28, 2014 at 08:43
I’d hack the Department of Home Affairs System, and install modules of “Organization” and “Logic”, lastly adding one of “Efficiency”. I would then hack the Traffic Department, and uninstall the “Big Bums” program that everyone in that department seems to make good use of.
Adrian Karason
May 28, 2014 at 08:45
I’d hack all the cars in my area and make them play justin bieber all day, except for mine ofc
Witman22
May 28, 2014 at 08:54
I’d hack this site and make me the winner. Id also hack Admiral Chief in Space to see what he does for a living so I can do that to. He has made like 250 comments here hahaha
Anon A Mouse
May 28, 2014 at 08:57
I’ll hack every single freaking game with invisible walls and break them down.
Kensei Seraph
May 28, 2014 at 09:07
That’s not as fun as it’s cracked up to be.
Although the view can be pretty amazing.
http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/884127922175955501/8229192A5EB800EBBE156D80F829E396EE36583E/
Kensei Seraph
May 28, 2014 at 09:09
I had a really good one that I’ve since forgotten.
Anon A Mouse
May 28, 2014 at 09:13
I will hack your mind and retrieve the lost memory..
Kensei Seraph
May 28, 2014 at 11:53
You’re obviously not very good at this.
Stew
May 28, 2014 at 09:11
I would “loadshed” the area I work in when i want the afternoon off.
Wyzak
May 28, 2014 at 10:00
Awesome, I’d love to have some Watch Dogs merchandise. Had a blast last night on the PC version.
Wyzak
May 28, 2014 at 10:00
Awesome, I’d love to have some Watch Dogs merchandise. Had a blast last night on the PC version.
Wyzak
May 28, 2014 at 10:00
Awesome, I’d love to have some Watch Dogs merchandise. Had a blast last night on the PC version.
vein101
May 28, 2014 at 10:08
If I had Aiden’s phone, I would hack into the internet and cause all kinds of havoc, but first…leme take a selfie..
vein101
May 28, 2014 at 10:08
If I had Aiden’s phone, I would hack into the internet and cause all kinds of havoc, but first…leme take a selfie..
vein101
May 28, 2014 at 10:08
If I had Aiden’s phone, I would hack into the internet and cause all kinds of havoc, but first…leme take a selfie..
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:13
The first thing I would do is hack all the speed cameras next to the road, the ones with operators will naturally explode.
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:13
The first thing I would do is hack all the speed cameras next to the road, the ones with operators will naturally explode.
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:15
I will hack in to Discovery and put myself on Diamond Vitality status for life.
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:15
I will hack in to Discovery and put myself on Diamond Vitality status for life.
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:15
I will hack in to Discovery and put myself on Diamond Vitality status for life.
Bevan
May 28, 2014 at 10:15
i would hack the street lights of south africa to turn on and off to look like a sound equalizer while playing a song and live capturing the whole thing from a satelite.
Bevan
May 28, 2014 at 10:15
i would hack the street lights of south africa to turn on and off to look like a sound equalizer while playing a song and live capturing the whole thing from a satelite.
Bevan
May 28, 2014 at 10:15
i would hack the street lights of south africa to turn on and off to look like a sound equalizer while playing a song and live capturing the whole thing from a satelite.
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:16
I would “Hack the planet!”
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:16
I would “Hack the planet!”
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:16
I would “Hack the planet!”
Shreez
May 28, 2014 at 10:16
I’d hack the internet and delete all LOL CATS pics ever created, including the take down of the I can has Cheeseburger site.
vein101
May 28, 2014 at 10:17
I would hack into robots so they are always green for me, be a modern day Moses!
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:18
I would hack Lazygamer and replace all the ION pictures with Geoff and Darryn WWF pictures,
Unavengedavo
May 28, 2014 at 14:40
I would hack their server and replace all the ION headers with this…
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:19
I would hack into Wimpy and give myself free WImpy for life!
vein101
May 28, 2014 at 10:19
I would hack into all the radio stations where ever I may be so I always have a theme song playing!
vein101
May 28, 2014 at 10:21
Or I would just hack into all the radio stations to give them access to more than just like their 3 songs that they don’t have to repeat those all day everyday
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:22
I would hack Lazygamer to reflect that I have won the Watch_Dogs competition.
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:22
I would hack everything and remove all traces of Jack Parrow
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:24
I would hack Mike Shinoda’s PC so I can get the new Linkin Park album NOW!
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:25
I would hack all the parking meters at Malls, because rip-off.
flmboy
May 28, 2014 at 10:32
I would firstly hack into some corporation like…Apple and steal a few Hunderd million dollars ( they can won’t miss it) then I would hack into http://www.evopoints.co.za , give them like 20 million dollars (I’m kind like that). Then I would take all there points cards and hand them all to Geoff. Victimless crime if I ever saw it. That is all.
Nathan van Wyk
May 28, 2014 at 10:39
I’d hack this site to ensure I get the Watchdogs hamper!
ToshZA
May 28, 2014 at 11:02
I’d hack into the TI4 tournament when it happens and randomly start pausing the game as a TI admin and see what kind of confusion that brings. 😀
vein101
May 28, 2014 at 11:06
I would hack into Iron man’s suite, just because…it’s awsome
Cat
May 28, 2014 at 11:31
I would hack the wifi signal from the office next door to bring a denial of service request & tell Judy she broke the internet so she would stop harassing me for help with uploading facebook pictures.
Cat
May 28, 2014 at 11:38
I would hack into my own brain to delete the image of Darryn in that, I don’t even know what to call it, swim suit.
http://imageslgmr.lazygamer.netdna-cdn.com/2014/05/Mankini.jpg
Kensei Seraph
May 28, 2014 at 11:53
You could charge people for that service and become very wealthy in a few days.
Anon A Mouse
May 28, 2014 at 11:55
Darryn wished he looked that good..
Gracie
June 1, 2014 at 20:55
Sexxxxy boy
Morne.Frans
May 28, 2014 at 11:40
I would hack in to some peoples mind just to see how the hell do they come up with crap they come up with aah hell that’s a bit extreme even if you have Aidens power. I would most defnitly hack into every government pulling the wool over most of this worlds populations eyes so most of us can get out of our boxes and stop believing all the things we are being fed and just make it public that HELL YEAH EVERYTHING ISNT WHAT IT SEEMS.
Cat
May 28, 2014 at 11:45
I would hack into Lazygamers server to find out how they bloody determine the “Batman of the week,” that formula must be like a trade secret even greater than the Coke formula.
Unavengedavo
May 28, 2014 at 14:30
Actually, the coke formula isn’t such a big secret. They extra the flavour from coca leaf, yes the same plant that cocaine comes from
eXpZA
May 28, 2014 at 11:45
I’d hack all of Lazygamers local competitors sites and copy your reviews and opinion pieces onto their site, near-verbatim.
Oh, wait.
Francois Knoetze
May 28, 2014 at 13:40
I would hack 1 flight company, a few bank accounts, one hotel and ticket vendor that supplies E3 tickets. SO that I could once and for all go to E3 and have everything prebooked for all of gaming glory and enjoy every damn press conference live in the flesh. I will supply my own pants…
Unavengedavo
May 28, 2014 at 14:33
If I had Aiden’s phone I would use it to hack cosmopolitan’s dictionary to help them understand the meaning of Plus-size
Unavengedavo
May 28, 2014 at 14:34
I would hack Darryn’s pc and copy his ION header “research” material
Unavengedavo
May 28, 2014 at 14:35
Or even better, I would hack LG seconds after the winner is announced and change it to me.
Unavengedavo
May 28, 2014 at 14:44
I would hack everyone on the planet’s phones and replace their ringtone with…
ziyaad
May 28, 2014 at 22:14
I would take from the rich and give all to the poor
Cat
May 29, 2014 at 08:31
If I had Aiden’s phone I would give Nkandla a small taste of our Load shedding events that seem to happen just when you need to start making dinner.
Zepplin
May 29, 2014 at 11:58
That i would infect every mobile device that has a “mobile banking app” with a virus that would skim R1 off that persons account and distribute it to multiple anonymous paypal accounts that bots would in turn transfer to an offshore bank account … the virus will also spread via the ctOS network to other users who has a mobile banking app installed … or something like that 🙂
Jason Heineberg
May 29, 2014 at 13:14
I’d hack Valve and announce Half Life 3 to be released on Christmas. (yes, I’m evil muhuhahahah)
Zell Reid Strife
May 29, 2014 at 13:26
Hack the world!!!
[For those that don’t know, Hackers movie reference]
Zell Reid Strife
May 29, 2014 at 13:28
Hack for the good of everyone, by changing exchange rates so that the Dollar, Euro, Pound, Rand and every other currency is 1:1
Zell Reid Strife
May 29, 2014 at 13:30
Hack for the good of man kind so that everyone has sufficient money to afford and live with necessities and probable luxuries
Gracie
June 1, 2014 at 20:55
Fallow me cutty
niamh Henshelwood
November 22, 2014 at 17:46
follow me too sweety doll <3 🙂 xxx
Jackie Chung
May 29, 2014 at 13:45
There’s a gorgeous lady in the next building, and need to know where she lives.. first hack her phone, then her heart <3
Carolina Meyer
May 29, 2014 at 14:58
I would hack my way into Stephen Hawking’s wheelchair software and maybe make him say some….interesting things
Raidz
May 29, 2014 at 15:52
I’d hack all the iphone users’ phones and give them all android operating systems. Just coz I’m such a nice person 😉
Mugelbub
May 29, 2014 at 17:53
I whould right an virus and then i whould hack every phone with a selfie and cage them all and then with the virus on there phones any selfie will be caged
Dian Fourie
May 29, 2014 at 18:00
I would hack PSN, Xbox live, Steam and Origin and make it possible to play on each others servers. That way we can settle once and for all which platform’s gamers has the most skills!
Peter
May 29, 2014 at 22:10
I would wait until everyone in the world receives chips, like CPUs and HDDs in their brains, and then I would hack into rich people’s minds and make them give me all their money. That way it would all be legal. No need to steal anything.
Then I would hack into the minds of my enemies (of which I have many) and make them all walk under a bus. Not the same one at the same time, though. That might look too suspicious.
Ch33seWh33L
May 30, 2014 at 07:23
I’d be the Orpah of hacking, you win a Watch_Dogs hamper and YOU, win a Watch_Dogs hamper and Gavin and Darren win ring sting from too much Tabasco 😛
Avithar
May 30, 2014 at 13:50
i would first hack Apple inc (the unhackables), then i would hack Microsoft and combine the 2 computer giants to make the greatest Operating system ever.
Cat
May 30, 2014 at 14:12
Then I would use Aiden’s Phone to hack the greatest Operating system ever and take out the start button on the desktop & WATCH as everybody has that confused DOG’s look on their face thinking, “What do I do now?” Oh wait, Microsoft beat me to it.
Avithar
May 30, 2014 at 21:57
LOL got to love windows 8 HAHAHAHAHAHA
Gracie
June 1, 2014 at 20:52
Fallow me
Blackhawk
May 30, 2014 at 15:05
I’d hack through servers, systems and networks, to finally determine if
we aren’t really plugged into The Matrix… or a biological version of
Reboot.
Gracie
June 1, 2014 at 20:52
Heyyyyy
Fallow me plz
The Superior Tomahawk "Lightni
May 30, 2014 at 17:26
Wait, no, no. If I had Aiden’s phone, I’d become a vigilante too. I’d adopt a bat motif and make a name for myself in the city, taking justice into my own hands and dole-out, er, justice and fury to the unjust.
But as this Bat Man, I’d piss off a… certain… resident Batfan (North Division) who would — I assume — try to do the same thing trying to prove he’s the real Bat Man and hell, driven by his jelly, would even start getting better than me.
But as that happens, I’d slowly switch from justice to vengeance, turning into a villain and when Darrbat Man tries to stop me, I’d hack his brain — seeing as it’s basically a computer and there’s a “?” sign above it, so it’s k, I can do that — and switch minds, kill my former self with his mind trapped in that body and live out the rest of my life as The Superior Darryn, with access to all the LazyGamer goodness and benefits and none shall know any the better.
😀 /
Gracie
June 1, 2014 at 20:51
Heyyyy
Fallow me plzzzzzz
Tomahawk "Lightning" Jones
June 1, 2014 at 21:03
Nah. Lightning Jones don’t fallow not none, hun.
Gracie
June 1, 2014 at 21:39
Ok
PapaBok
May 30, 2014 at 17:59
Hacking Steps to be taken: Hack the human genome (cos it sounds cool, even if I don’t know what it is) and reprogram DNA to have human body function without sleep, unless desired. Then ‘hack the planet’ to slow down the earth’s rotation, thereby lengthening days and nights. Hack the solar-system, lengthening the seasons to personal preference. Once this is done, there will be more time for gaming, and in desirable conditions.
Gracie
June 1, 2014 at 20:50
Heyyyyy
Fallow me plz
Terry
May 31, 2014 at 09:41
I would hack your lazygamer account and make myself the winner of the hamper.. also id hack into a celebrity security footage and see what they get up to… oh wait… someone already did.. its the e channel
Terry
May 31, 2014 at 09:42
i would hack the great firewall of china so that all them asians could be free
Gracie
June 1, 2014 at 20:49
Hey fallow me plz it’s gracie I have a lot of fans on here and this is my new account
Mark Treloar
June 1, 2014 at 21:42
So how precisely did you manage to misspell follow?
Gracie
June 1, 2014 at 21:50
That’s how I do it I know how to spell but that’s more fun
Tomahawk "Lightning" Jones
May 31, 2014 at 10:15
Maybe I’ll hack Valve, announce Half-Life Episode 3 AND Half-Life 3, but say that there will only be one copy available and only for Gameboy Color. 😀 /
Tomahawk "Lightning" Jones
May 31, 2014 at 10:19
Or perhaps hack the LazyGamer site and announce who didn’t win this comp (as in list every damn person’s name), leaving the winner’s name out and starting World War Internet as the people try to figure out who actually won.
Tomahawk "Lightning" Jones
May 31, 2014 at 10:20
Takealot’s Get Used to Great comp. That is what I shall hack. I shall free the people from this madness and let all who enter win. V for Very Pissed Off I Wasted My Time With That Ridiculous Comp.
aj_nator
June 1, 2014 at 15:06
All I really want to do is to hack into strangers’ computers and flash random curse words on their screens. Then watch their reactions on their webcams
aj_nator
June 1, 2014 at 16:11
I’d hack away the hardships of the day gone by with a game of Fruit Ninja on Aiden’s phone. C’mon guys, I’m sure it can handle the goodness of 60fps :p
Gracie
June 1, 2014 at 20:47
Heyyy
Fallow me boy
Tomahawk "Lightning" Jones
June 2, 2014 at 17:48
I used the power of hacking to bring Gracie’s reign of spamranny to an end. You’re welcome.
EDJ MIDDLE EAST
June 9, 2014 at 11:11
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Timothy Galpa
October 18, 2015 at 00:38
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