Here’s the winner of the Assassin’s Creed Phantom Blade…

3 min read


Your very own phantom blade; a slick, awesome replica of the one that Arno uses in Assassin’s Creed Unity. We’ve got just the one to give away thanks to our friends at Ubisoft. We tasked you lot with coming up with cool, crazy ideas for a silly gun – with the winner, hand selected, becoming the proud owner of the collectible. Here’s who won it.

Well, here’s who would have won it if we’d relied on this time.


Thankfully, it wasn’t up to This time, we put it up to vote by staff. Frankfully, most of the entries were creatively on the bankrupt side   – or at least we thought so because so few of ‘em made us giggle. The winner then, by decree, is Hammersteyn, who made 2 of the 5 of us giggle for a few seconds. Because weaponised badgers are awesome.

Shoulder mounted canon that fires flaiming honey badgers infected with ebola!

Runners up were:

Sir GIF Sexy  and his Ubi Blade

I shall call mine the “Ubi Blade”, which has the devastating power to send whoever it hits back in time to the womb, where they are born a bit too early, all glitchy, downright unplayable and in dire need of a patch. and

and PsyChoPanthis and his Slippy-Squishy-Bang-Bang

Seeing as I can no longer take the AC series seriously, my gun would have to be a banana launcher. And it will be called Slippy-Squishy-Bang-Bang, this may be a TL;DR but it will be worth it 😀
Why, you may ask? Well, come closer and I shall tell you!
Imagine a busy street, plenty of benches to sit on that make you NEAR INVISIBLE to anyone looking DIRECTLY at you. Your target is one street over. You stand from your bench of +100 invisibility and merge into a crowd of people who just so happen to be walking in the direction you need them to go. (Yet none of them wonder who this weirdo is who just butted in on their convo while walking to the nearest market)
You close in on the target, separate yourself from the crowd and approach, all stealthy like… in plain si ght during broad daylight.
You reach into your cloak and draw the SSBB, you then grab your target’s shoulder, whip him back and shove the SSBB into his eye socket and pull the trigger.
Chaos ensues! You make a dash to escape, dropping the spent magazine (banana peel doesnt sound as cool) behind you as the target’s companions pursue you. One of them slips on the spent SSBB magazine and crashed into the other. They recover and run around the corner, confused as to where you are… walking right passed a bench, not seeing the smirk on your invisible face.

Neither of them get anything other than a fleeting moment’s recognition and a thumbs up, but that’s just the way things work, unfortunately.

Last Updated: January 19, 2015

Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces. I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

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