Home Gaming Here’s the winner of the Assassin’s Creed Phantom Blade…

Here’s the winner of the Assassin’s Creed Phantom Blade…

2 min read
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Phantomblade1

Your very own phantom blade; a slick, awesome replica of the one that Arno uses in Assassin’s Creed Unity. We’ve got just the one to give away thanks to our friends at Ubisoft. We tasked you lot with coming up with cool, crazy ideas for a silly gun – with the winner, hand selected, becoming the proud owner of the collectible. Here’s who won it.

Well, here’s who would have won it if we’d relied on Random.org this time.

Seven

Thankfully, it wasn’t up to Random.org. This time, we put it up to vote by staff. Frankfully, most of the entries were creatively on the bankrupt side   – or at least we thought so because so few of ‘em made us giggle. The winner then, by decree, is Hammersteyn, who made 2 of the 5 of us giggle for a few seconds. Because weaponised badgers are awesome.

Shoulder mounted canon that fires flaiming honey badgers infected with ebola!

Runners up were:

Sir GIF Sexy  and his Ubi Blade

I shall call mine the “Ubi Blade”, which has the devastating power to send whoever it hits back in time to the womb, where they are born a bit too early, all glitchy, downright unplayable and in dire need of a patch. and

and PsyChoPanthis and his Slippy-Squishy-Bang-Bang

Seeing as I can no longer take the AC series seriously, my gun would have to be a banana launcher. And it will be called Slippy-Squishy-Bang-Bang, this may be a TL;DR but it will be worth it 😀
Why, you may ask? Well, come closer and I shall tell you!
Imagine a busy street, plenty of benches to sit on that make you NEAR INVISIBLE to anyone looking DIRECTLY at you. Your target is one street over. You stand from your bench of +100 invisibility and merge into a crowd of people who just so happen to be walking in the direction you need them to go. (Yet none of them wonder who this weirdo is who just butted in on their convo while walking to the nearest market)
You close in on the target, separate yourself from the crowd and approach, all stealthy like… in plain si ght during broad daylight.
You reach into your cloak and draw the SSBB, you then grab your target’s shoulder, whip him back and shove the SSBB into his eye socket and pull the trigger.
Chaos ensues! You make a dash to escape, dropping the spent magazine (banana peel doesnt sound as cool) behind you as the target’s companions pursue you. One of them slips on the spent SSBB magazine and crashed into the other. They recover and run around the corner, confused as to where you are… walking right passed a bench, not seeing the smirk on your invisible face.

Neither of them get anything other than a fleeting moment’s recognition and a thumbs up, but that’s just the way things work, unfortunately.

Last Updated: January 19, 2015

39 Comments

  1. Aries

    January 19, 2015 at 17:03

    Well done @hammersteyn:disqus

    Reply

  2. Hammersteyn

    January 19, 2015 at 17:09

    • Mandom (Umar)

      January 19, 2015 at 17:11

      Well done sir!!! Easy on the Parkour now, you hear?

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        January 19, 2015 at 17:13

        Gonna try it out in the pub. It shoots real knives right?

        Reply

        • Sir GIF Sexy

          January 20, 2015 at 15:26

          Sporks, actually… Goddamnit, I shoulda said The Sporker. :/

          Reply

    • Mossel

      January 19, 2015 at 18:05

      Well done!

      Reply

    • ToshZA

      January 19, 2015 at 18:06

      Grats man!!!! Enjoy 😀

      Reply

    • HairyEwok

      January 19, 2015 at 19:41

      You have earned the sheen seal of wins, congrats

      Reply

    • Nikola

      January 20, 2015 at 10:01

      Gongrats dude!!

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        January 20, 2015 at 19:42

        Thanks Nikola!
        *Congrats 😛

        Reply

  3. Hammersteyn

    January 19, 2015 at 17:09

    O_o poor Rants you guys are gonna give him a stroke.

    Reply

    • ToshZA

      January 19, 2015 at 18:07

      Don’t pretend you didn’t laugh. A lot. 😛

      Reply

  4. Mandom (Umar)

    January 19, 2015 at 17:10

  5. Jonah Cash

    January 19, 2015 at 17:20

    Well done hammer!! Nou het jy ‘n ban….. blade??? Dit werk nie!!

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 19, 2015 at 17:23

      XD

      Reply

  6. Geoff Murphy

    January 19, 2015 at 18:48

    Damn! I totally forgot to enter. This is what happens when lagz asks me to be creative. All hail random.org!

    Reply

  7. Raptor Rants A Lot

    January 19, 2015 at 18:58

    Well done @hammersteyn:disqus

    Also @OddSockZA:disqus you sir are the ultimate trooooooooooooooooooool

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 20, 2015 at 07:33

      XD

      Reply

    • Quo Vadis?

      January 20, 2015 at 07:35

      Look at it this way, you’re not seventh this time 😀

      Reply

  8. Captain JJ Saga

    January 20, 2015 at 07:21

    This is the funniest ever

    Reply

  9. Quo Vadis?

    January 20, 2015 at 07:34

    Congrats @hammersteyn:disqus. Well done.

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 20, 2015 at 19:41

      XD

      Reply

  10. Ghost In The Rift

    January 20, 2015 at 07:47

    Nice 1 Hammer!!!

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 20, 2015 at 19:41

      Thanks buddy 😀

      Reply

  11. Kensei Seraph

    January 20, 2015 at 07:52

    Congrats and well played.
    If you decide you aren’t into violent weapons then feel free to send it my way instead.

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 20, 2015 at 19:41

      LOL like I’m ever that sober

      Reply

  12. Allykhat

    January 20, 2015 at 08:01

    3rd 😀 YAY!
    Well played @hammersteyn:disqus

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 20, 2015 at 19:40

      XD

      Reply

  13. Rock789

    January 20, 2015 at 08:14

    Well played Hammer. Nicely done. 🙂

    Reply

    • Rock789

      January 20, 2015 at 08:15

      And yes – I too want a gun that fires honey badgers… Especially ones like the one you hunt in the Fashion Week hunting mission in Far Cry 4…

      Reply

      • Captain JJ Saga

        January 20, 2015 at 08:57

        Fashion week is soon in Cpt. You want to go on our own adventure and try some FarCry moves there? Or do you think they might call the police? 😉

        Reply

  14. Spaffy

    January 20, 2015 at 08:19

    Nice one @hammersteyn:disqus

    😀

    Reply

  15. FoxOneZA

    January 20, 2015 at 08:51

    The mans words are weapons @hammersteyn:disqus

    Reply

  16. Sir GIF Sexy

    January 20, 2015 at 09:42

    I GOT RECOGNITION! I GOT RECOGNITION AND THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME! I’M SO HAPPY! OH, GOD, I’M SO HAPPY!… Also that rouge “. and” makes me look like a victim of my own weapon. :/

    http://38.media.tumblr.com/ae1c7e34b3999d5f3a893a604a3472cc/tumblr_ndiz3cwy0p1r4gei2o1_400.gif

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 20, 2015 at 19:43

      😀

      Reply

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