Just Cause 3’s Mech Land Assault is a fun but buggy mess

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If you’re still playing Just Cause 3, then you’re probably the kind of person who has a full back tattoo of Michael Bay. Yes, Just Cause 3 isn’t perfect. But as a sandbox that players can destroy one statue at a time with a variety of explosives? It’s kind of superb. Just Cause 3 is also massive. So bloody massive, that taking a car is pointless. You’re better off sticking to riding air currents, whether it be from a fighter jet or your own wingsuit.

The first bit of DLC in the Air, Land and Sea pass gave Rico a substantial upgrade to his wingsuit, essentially turning him into Iron Man but with a suave accent. It was a decent diversion. Lengthy enough to spend an afternoon on, even if the story was rubbish and the action was predictable. The latest bit of DLC, Mech Land Assault is more of the same really. It’s just almost completely broken as well.

Look, the entire setup is rubbish. Black Hand troops have Eden technology, and Rico has to stop them from going global with all that advanced hardware. It’s the stuff of Steve Seagal bargain bin DVDs. But there’s nothing wrong with that. The real charm, is in the new vehicle: A proper mech, that can roll around on four wheels and punch stuff. Or shoot stuff. Or even use magnets to attract said stuff and fling it over a cliff.

Brilliant stuff, with technology that was pilfered from a VHS copy of Robot Jox. I have zero complaints about that. It’s the execution of all this that gets to me. Numerous bugs are present here, so here’s a list of what I encountered because why not:

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  • Ammo was missing on respawns.
  • Mechs would be stuck forever if they rolled over a rock the wrong way
  • Explosions were missing
  • Guns refused to fire
  • Frame-rate matched my IQ during intense scenes, crawling to single digits at times
  • Random pratfalls
  • Numerous game crashes
  • Black Hand troops frozen in the ether of an explosion, unmoving and trapped for all eternity in a quantum lock as I stood next to them and emptied magazine after magazine into them
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Massively annoying then, especially with some missions getting a bit hectic. Mech Land Assault wasn’t the kind of DLC that I was epxecting to see reach the same highs as The Witcher III: Blood and Wine. But it was a slice of extra content for Just Cause 3 that I was hoping to lose myself within for a few hours on the weekend.

Instead, what could have been a swell distraction was an infuriating series of restarts that almost ended with a PS4 controller-shaped hole in my TV. Someone get a patch sorted for Mech Land Assault, ASAP.

*Also, I’m saying Meh Land Assault so that I can claim FIRST.

Last Updated: June 7, 2016

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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