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Kinect Gets its Own Stupid Accessories

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The Wii’s motion-controlled gaming (and to a lesser extent since the release of Playstation Move, the PS3) has afforded profiteering purveyors of perplexingly pointless plastic periphery the prospect of peddlling their preposterous products.  If you thought Microsoft’s Kinect – which is free from controllers of any sort – would be spared all manner of unnecessary accessory – you’d be wrong. Very, very wrong.

Kinect will be shipping with Kinect Adventures, a collection of mini-games, one of which is a game in which players jump about in a rubber dinghy. Atomic Accessories has deemed that reason enough to release release a “Kinect-compatible” inflatable “game boat” for use with the game. A goddamned boat!

This is what their website has to say, grammatical and spelling errors included :

Game Boatâ„¢ is de facto the first accessory for the peripheral which doesn’t need any. The first product in the Play Onâ„¢ line-up brings the entertainment of Kinect Adventuresâ„¢ game out of the tv set, directly in your living room! Game it Realâ„¢ ! With this real-size replica of Kinect Adventuresâ„¢’s awesome dinghy .
Size: 150 x 150 cm. Ideal to comfortably play in 2 gamers simultaneously, still without being clumsy in the living room. Easily inflated in a few minutes through the practical pump (included). Game Boatâ„¢ can also be used in the watyr, at the sea or at the pool, by children and adults.

Does it not kinda defeat the purpose of controller-free gaming, if you have to set up and inflate a goddamned BOAT? Please. Just make it stop.

Source : Kotaku


Last Updated: October 11, 2010


  1. Fred

    October 11, 2010 at 13:22

    I don’t know what to say.


  2. Uberutang

    October 11, 2010 at 13:35

    Yes, because we all have 50″ tv’s, but no furniture at all.


  3. Bobby Kotick for Dummies

    October 11, 2010 at 13:36

    Screw you guys, That inflatable boat of awesome makes Kinect awesome! Now I must have it.


  4. AC!D

    October 11, 2010 at 13:38

    This wont be the end of it. Remember object scanning isnt available at launch. Im guessing when it does become available then accessories will becoming out of the wood works from third parties and MS left right and center. They probably just dont want to announce anything no because the $150 price tag is already so steep.


  5. eXp

    October 11, 2010 at 13:56

    “the first accessory for the peripheral which doesn’t need any”

    Do they not see the Facepalm irony in this?


  6. easy

    October 11, 2010 at 14:44

    “Easily inflated in a few minutes through the practical pump (included)”
    practical = handpump
    few minutes = too much effort to actually pump it up


  7. AC!D

    October 11, 2010 at 15:14

    I wonder if the blow up dolls for Dance cebtral are ready yet 😆


  8. The truth

    November 1, 2010 at 21:29

    Did you really think “Starwars Kinect” wont have some lightsaber peripheral? I’m sure they will release “Standard (Green/Blue)” and “Dark Side (Red)” with the game and charge $75-$100 for it. I’m sure they will come up with a peripheral/controller so that the Kinect works with shooters and other types of games eventually. “Controller free” probably wont be for long.


  9. The truth

    November 1, 2010 at 21:34

    The whole “Object Scanning” was a feature that was built in to the Kinect before they modified (Cheapened!) the design by cutting the resolution in half and removed the processing hardware from the Kinect unit itself. No object scanning, can’t read fingers and lame games…..and it will still sell like crazy.


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