Home Gaming Nice table, but can it run Crysis?

Nice table, but can it run Crysis?

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Analogue crysis

Crysis became a name among gamers not so much because of the gameplay, but because of its ridiculous resource use and lack of optimisation that made most rigs unable to run it properly. Now an all new Crysis might be coming, but the resources it requires are a bit different.

Over on Kickstarter, there’s a new Crysis that’s trying to get your money. This time, it’s an analogue Crysis in the form of a board game.

Crysis Analogue Edition brings the award-winning shooter to your table as a fast-paced strategy game. Play with up to eight friends and score points in either Team Instant Action or Capture the Relay game modes. Defeat your enemies using advanced weaponry and the unique abilities provided by the Nanosuit in this team-based tactical game.

And here’s a video introduction to the game.

While it looks pretty cool and board game fans will probably jump at it, locals should be wary of the shipping. As explained in their shipping section, EU countries as well as a few other international locations will get reduced shipping rates thanks to some cool logistics cooperation. Awesome, right? Well, yes… unless you’re in South Africa. Want this three pound/1.3 kilo board game and you’ll be paying €75 for shipping. Oh, plus taxes or customs fees. Just like that, the game became a lot less desirable unless you happen to live or know someone with a shipping address in the preferred countries.

At least it’s an authorised project getting support from the original Crysis team – they’re even getting original assets to use. I suppose if you’re a big enough fan of the game, it’s worth grabbing. I just can’t believe how many resources it will take.

Last Updated: May 18, 2015

67 Comments

  1. Admiral Chief

    May 18, 2015 at 10:03

    Yeah, I dunno, not my cup of tea

    Reply

    • Skoobaz

      May 18, 2015 at 11:26

      To the coffee machine!

      Reply

  2. HairyEwok

    May 18, 2015 at 10:13

    The amount of new board games coming out now is really high…. Guess they’re looking out for us South Africans since in a few years we wont have any power left to run our PC/Consoles.

    Reply

    • Derrick James

      May 18, 2015 at 10:15

      Who wants some dick baby?

      Reply

      • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

        May 18, 2015 at 10:24

        Weirdest proposition ever… Could you not at least DM the guy or something? And for fucks sakes: At least take him for dinner and a movie before “hand”?

        Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        May 18, 2015 at 10:24

        Good heavens, buy him a beer first geez.

        Reply

        • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

          May 18, 2015 at 10:26

          Only a beer??? Man your idea of romance sucks!
          Coming Soon:
          Trevor Philips’ The Real Man Guide.
          Because Fuck you Barney Stinson!

          Reply

          • Hammersteyn

            May 18, 2015 at 10:27

            As a conversation starter

          • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

            May 18, 2015 at 10:29

            So if a strange man offers to buy me a beer should I cover my ass?
            (And this kids, is an example of a joke not to crack on Lazygamer forums. Because we be cool and do not judge!)

          • Hammersteyn

            May 18, 2015 at 10:29

            hahaha

          • HairyEwok

            May 18, 2015 at 10:30

            Sexist?

          • Derrick James

            May 18, 2015 at 10:31

            Nah see I’ll do this for gamers. I’ll buy you a game if you pull your pants down

          • Hammersteyn

            May 18, 2015 at 10:32

            You’re asking Trevor to pull his pants down? Have you even played GTAV?

          • Derrick James

            May 18, 2015 at 10:33

            Oh yeah

          • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

            May 18, 2015 at 10:35

            His idea of playing Grand Theft Auto is jacking off in his mother’s car whilst listening to her favourite song…

          • Hammersteyn

            May 18, 2015 at 10:35

            This one?

          • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

            May 18, 2015 at 10:38

            I take it is on youtube???
            What song is that then? No access to Youtube…

          • Hammersteyn

            May 18, 2015 at 10:40

            I don’t wanna wait from Dawsons Creek

          • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

            May 18, 2015 at 10:40

            I thought it was Get out of My Dreams and into “my” Car by Billy Ocean…

          • Hammersteyn

            May 18, 2015 at 10:41

            ROFL

          • Derrick James

            May 18, 2015 at 10:43

            I thought Paula Cole did milf porn

          • Hammersteyn

            May 18, 2015 at 10:45

            no, just no.

          • Derrick James

            May 18, 2015 at 10:45

            What.that must be disgusting

          • Derrick James

            May 18, 2015 at 10:40

            Paula Cole is probably broke now

          • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

            May 18, 2015 at 10:32

            If that’s the case where can I email you a dick pick?

          • HairyEwok

            May 18, 2015 at 10:34

            Huehuehue

          • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

            May 18, 2015 at 11:04

            Friendly tip. Tell us to refresh.
            Also: LOOOOOOLLLLLL!!!!

      • Derrick James

        May 18, 2015 at 10:26

        Hairy ewok is a bareback
        So I ain’t buying dinner or paying for sh*t

        Reply

        • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

          May 18, 2015 at 10:27

          You do not have to pay for shit. Just go have some McDonalds. Afterwards you will have all the free shit you want!

          Reply

          • Derrick James

            May 18, 2015 at 10:28

            Oh yeah. I’ll do that then me and ewok gonna make the house stank

        • Hammersteyn

          May 18, 2015 at 10:28

          Must be nice to be this drunk so early in the morning

          Reply

          • HairyEwok

            May 18, 2015 at 10:29

            What have i done to deserve this, maybe he’s an Eskom employee and just have his shit out for me.

          • Hammersteyn

            May 18, 2015 at 10:29

            Ewok fetish?

          • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

            May 18, 2015 at 10:30

            He wants to get some Ewok on his jubnub?

          • HairyEwok

            May 18, 2015 at 10:30

            If only he knew I’m a Jar-Jar in disguise.

          • Hammersteyn

            May 18, 2015 at 10:31

            THE HORROR!

          • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

            May 18, 2015 at 10:31

            OK. That makes me want to shoot you.

          • HairyEwok

            May 18, 2015 at 10:31

            Hey hey hold up now i have to cover my own ass first here…. literally.

          • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

            May 18, 2015 at 10:29

            Nice or sad beyond the point of all sadness? I think we may have a troll in the house… Banhammers at the ready???

    • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

      May 18, 2015 at 10:16

      “Hey man, what have you been doing the last few days?”
      “I’ve been playing Crysis…”
      “Wow man!! How’s the graphics?”
      “Quite insane, considering, it’s by candlelight….”

      Reply

  3. Hammersteyn

    May 18, 2015 at 10:24

    Too much his face, not enough Demo.

    Reply

    • CypherGate

      May 18, 2015 at 13:37

      Thats what i was thinking. I still didnt fully catch how the game works without actually seeing more of the game itself.

      Reply

  4. RinceTriss

    May 18, 2015 at 10:24

    No thanks!

    Reply

    • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

      May 18, 2015 at 10:24

      Uh-huh. Cannot stand another Bored Game…

      Reply

      • RinceTriss

        May 18, 2015 at 10:25

        *Board. Don’t use English if you can’t spell it correctly! 😛 Tehehehe

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          May 18, 2015 at 10:25

          Now don’t you two start again.

          Reply

          • RinceTriss

            May 18, 2015 at 10:26

            You shurrup! I can flirt, I mean fight with @Dutch-Trevor Matrix:disqus if I want to!

          • Blood Emperor Trevor

            May 18, 2015 at 10:28

            🙁

          • RinceTriss

            May 18, 2015 at 10:28

            Oh don’t be sad! You know you are unique!

          • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

            May 18, 2015 at 11:05

            I don’t “do” Gingers Rince. We had this talk before!

    • Hammersteyn

      May 18, 2015 at 10:25

      Monopoly caused my parents to divorce, board games are the devil

      Reply

      • RinceTriss

        May 18, 2015 at 10:25

        lol I mean, sorry? Don’t pass go? Don’t collect R200?

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          May 18, 2015 at 10:28

          Don’t pay alimony. Go straight to public school XD

          Reply

          • RinceTriss

            May 18, 2015 at 10:30

            Zing!

          • HairyEwok

            May 18, 2015 at 10:35

            *hears sound… Oh hey you leveled up, congtrats.

          • Greylingad[CNFRMD]

            May 18, 2015 at 10:34

            Oh Jeebuzz Crust! I can feel the sting to here…

      • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

        May 18, 2015 at 10:38

        I take it she took all the houses and the hotels too? And the car, and the shoe, and the boat? And the Iron too. Because we all know women are good for only one thing…
        COME AT ME FEMINAZI’S!!!!!
        (Trevor’s Guide to Jokes not meant to be made on Lagz. Chapter 2)

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          May 18, 2015 at 10:40

          Eish….

          Reply

  5. Derrick James

    May 18, 2015 at 10:33

    Come on ewok. Let’s do this so we can make it stank in this b!tch

    Reply

  6. Derrick James

    May 18, 2015 at 10:37

    I can picture it . Me hitting that smelly fat hairy ass from the back while you play the ps3. I smack that ass and you fart so we having it smelling like sewage

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      May 18, 2015 at 10:39

      That’s way too much. Rather stick to friendly trolling…..

      Reply

      • Derrick James

        May 18, 2015 at 10:41

        Lol. Sure . I’m just hitting up ewok

        Reply

        • Dutch-Trevor Matrix

          May 18, 2015 at 10:42

          And I guess Ewok says no…

          Reply

          • Derrick James

            May 18, 2015 at 10:44

            Ewoks are shy by nature

          • Hammersteyn

            May 18, 2015 at 10:44

            Did Solo do the Kessel run in 110.5 parsecs?

  7. Vincent Perro

    May 18, 2015 at 12:53

    I don’t see Crysis as a board game, it’s nonsense! Its only bright side was graphics, which is absent in this case

    Reply

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