Home Gaming Outrage, but not surprise at sexual harassment

Outrage, but not surprise at sexual harassment

3 min read
192

Sad panda  1

Sexual harassment, oh how you are omni-present. It seems every industry has to deal with people who cross boundaries and make people uncomfortable. This time, it happened to a game developer and helped keep the reputation of male game journalists fully sullied.

Here is the Facebook chat. Warning: contains rather graphic sexual harassment.

Sexual harassment uncensored

For the tl;dr among you, the male journalist sexually harasses the female developer while also asking for details about an unknown game project. With instant classics like “I’ll still kiss your vagina” and “Let me know if you need a penis for anything” this is a clear case of sexual harassment. That reporter – the founder of Indiestalk, no less – Β has since apologized, blaming depression and alcoholism (despite the inappropriate comments continuing over the course of an evening and following morning):

Contrary to what I drunkenly typed, I have nothing but respect for this person. She has always been a positive ray of sunshine and I got very carried away in a conversation that I never should have started. Just because someone is nice to me doesn’t mean I can act inappropriately or say whatever I want to them. Especially since I have been such an advocate of women in games and treating everyone with the same level of respect and decency. I was a complete hypocrite and I am more mad at myself than anyone else will ever be with me.

I must say that I struggle with the issue of sexual harassment. It is pervasive and distressing to men and women who find themselves victims. I must say that it can be difficult to draw the line. I honestly have no problem with running jokes that I have with a range of men in the industry and community – I think it’s hilarious that the Wookie and I were joking about using the Xbox Podcast to show off our new talent where I’d deep throat the mic while he sang into it. And I see nothing wrong with the community obsession with seeing my boobs or having me pose for ION. However, I have had instances of sexual harassment and assault (not at this job, don’t worry) that made me incredibly uncomfortable. I know that I’m a friendly person, and some people misinterpret that as meaning that I’m open to any and all sexual invitations.

This is the insidious nature of sexual harassment – women (and I’m assuming men, too) blame themselves if they become victims. Should I not have made that dirty joke? Did I smile too much? How did I bring this upon myself? The reality is, those who sexual harass others are overstepping boundaries, and everyone’s boundaries are different. One woman’s joke is another woman’s sexual harassment. That said, I think it’s obvious in the case of the above chat log that it was sexual harassment. Every possible boundary is crossed.

We should be outraged and offended by this case of sexual harassment in the gaming industry. It’s so common for women in gaming to be objectified – I’m not talking about appreciation of the female form in games, I’m talking about offensive things said to female gamers and journalists. That said, harassment in general is all too common in gaming – the toxic online environment for games should be proof of that. But does our outrage actually do anything? I suppose, as is the case in all situations of harassment, the best you can do is name and shame the culprits, hoping that they simply misinterpreted the signs and apologize.

Please tell me, am I just desensitized to this? Have I come to accept harassment as the norm, no longer seeing a solution? What do you believe could be done to correct this rampant problem in gaming?

Last Updated: January 21, 2014

192 Comments

  1. Admiral Chief in Vegas

    January 21, 2014 at 13:04

    What.
    the.
    flip.
    ?
    ??
    ???
    ????
    ?????

    Reply

    • Ultimo_Cleric N7

      January 21, 2014 at 13:23

      Sexual Harrassment will never go away. Why? Because as long as stupid, arrogant people exist, this will never stop.
      True Story.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas

        January 21, 2014 at 13:25

        You know what stops sexual harassment? A SWIFT KICK IN THE NUTS!
        (also, note spelling of harassment, haha)

        Reply

    • General JJ PanGirl

      January 21, 2014 at 13:53

      Wow that’s idiotic

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas

        January 21, 2014 at 14:03

        my comment or the article?

        Reply

        • General JJ PanGirl

          January 21, 2014 at 14:06

          Definitely your comment. Total bullcrap. Those question marks don’t even make any sense. πŸ™‚

          Reply

          • RinceThis2014

            January 21, 2014 at 14:37

            Agreed. I man, why is there like an extra ? in the second line, then like another, and another! Utter idiocy πŸ˜‰

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 14:38

            I wanted to ask a question too, but he used up all the question marks.

          • RinceThis2014

            January 21, 2014 at 14:39

            I… No, too late! GATE 2 OPEN

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 14:43

            This is our second agreement of the day? When did we agree the first time?

          • RinceThis2014

            January 21, 2014 at 14:45

            Movie article.

  2. Admiral Chief in Vegas

    January 21, 2014 at 13:06

    I am poorer for reading how that man behaved. Ag nee bliksem man

    Reply

  3. Umar Break Dancing Cyborg

    January 21, 2014 at 13:10

    Why didn’t she say anything……

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief in Vegas

      January 21, 2014 at 13:11

      I dunno, maybe in shock?

      Reply

      • Umar Break Dancing Cyborg

        January 21, 2014 at 13:11

        I don’t get why she entertained it….

        Reply

        • Unavengedavo

          January 21, 2014 at 13:17

          I think she purposefully ignored it at 1st. To prove that he wouldn’t get any kind of reaction out of her.

          Reply

    • Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim

      January 21, 2014 at 13:12

      She was trying to remain as professional as possible, and brush it off. Kudos to her. Many indie developers are afraid of the negative publicity they might get for their games if they piss the media off. It’s a very weird sort of relationship that exists.

      Reply

      • Umar Break Dancing Cyborg

        January 21, 2014 at 13:15

        Jeez that’s horrible man, being forced to remain calm like that. I would’ve lost my sh*t a long time ago. “Want me to kiss your penis? With a scissor?”

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief in Vegas

          January 21, 2014 at 13:17

          Funny thing that THAT section caught your attention πŸ˜›

          Reply

          • Umar Break Dancing Cyborg

            January 21, 2014 at 13:18

            What section? That he said he want’s to kiss her V JJ? Hard to miss

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 21, 2014 at 13:19

            No man, was trolling you about the penis kissing thing haha

          • Umar Break Dancing Cyborg

            January 21, 2014 at 13:19

            Oh snap lol … I’m pretty tired!! …. nice burn, sorry I spoilt your trolling lol

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 21, 2014 at 13:23

            Nah man, we all bruddas here

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 13:56

            Tim’s a sister though.

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 21, 2014 at 13:59

            You shut your piehole!

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 13:59

            There you are! Works every time. πŸ˜‰

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 21, 2014 at 14:01

            I am almost always around…

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 14:02

            Only not when you’re hunting dragons, I assume?

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 21, 2014 at 14:03

            Yeah the damn bastards, the always hanging around on bridges and shit… Makes a hard days work getting off them bridges!

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 14:07

            I imagine you as a dwarf.

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 21, 2014 at 14:09

            Dude I am like 5ft 7 or 8 so yeah I am kinda a dwarf!

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 14:11

            Haha. It was either that or a hobbit. Luckily you’re not soft-spoken enough to be a hobbit.

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 21, 2014 at 14:13

            nah I make alot of noise dwarf fits the bill perfectly

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 14:14

            I don’t think a fantasy character exists for what the Emperor is.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 14:29

            There is, but probably not the kind of fantasy you’re referring to.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 14:04

            Isn’t Tim the damsel in distress?

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 21, 2014 at 14:05

            I’m one fucking ugly damsel then!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 14:09

            That’s why these were invented.

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 13:55

            What did you say about me?

          • Umar Break Dancing Cyborg

            January 21, 2014 at 13:57

            LOL whoops sorry

      • Lardus-Resident Perve

        January 21, 2014 at 13:17

        I am appalled by this level of harassment! Also, the fact that she “let it slide” ticks me off as well. This is not a case where there could be any “misunderstanding” that could blow up in her face. Hopefully this douche gets a right rogering from the public. Though, most probably, the pre-pubescent boy-girls living on the internet will likely find this funny ;(
        I WEEP FOR HUMANITY!

        Reply

        • iAmWeasel

          January 21, 2014 at 13:21

          Preach it Perve!

          Reply

        • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

          January 21, 2014 at 15:16

          She kept her cool, probably knowing that she would expose him. So in no way whatsoever can anybody say that she baited him, or further aggravated the situation. She illustrated that this was entirely his doing and is solely responsible.

          Reply

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 15:18

            Agreed. Any retaliation or acknowledgement of what he was doing isn’t worth it.

      • Guava_Eater

        January 21, 2014 at 14:15

        That’s all she could have realistically done, don’t let others bring you down. “Smile and nod” then share with the world… See if his mother lets him kiss her again with that mouth…

        Reply

      • Radioedit

        January 21, 2014 at 15:07

        The thing that confuses me slightly is she seemed to respond positively to his first few sexual comments, and then ignores them going forward.

        He should have taken the hint when she started to ignore him, but if someone makes you uncomfortable with what they say you shouldn’t laugh when they say it,

        Reply

    • General JJ PanGirl

      January 21, 2014 at 13:54

      Didn’t want to stoop to his level probably. I think it’s better that she didn’t

      Reply

  4. Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim

    January 21, 2014 at 13:11

    for lack of a better word, that dude is a douchenozzle.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief in Vegas

      January 21, 2014 at 13:11

      agreed

      Reply

      • GalacticLordCaptainAwesomeness

        January 21, 2014 at 13:15

        Man did you see the spelling mistakes he made? Terrible….

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          January 21, 2014 at 13:15

          He has fat fingers apparently….

          Reply

          • Her Highness the Hipster

            January 21, 2014 at 13:23

            i shouldn’t laugh at that… but i did

          • GalacticLordCaptainAwesomeness

            January 21, 2014 at 13:25

            To quote the fat auntie from Lipstiek Dipstiek “Sies….. Sies…… Sies….”

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 21, 2014 at 13:25

            Hey, that “fat auntie” is a bloody legend!

          • GalacticLordCaptainAwesomeness

            January 21, 2014 at 13:26

            That Movie is bloody legend…

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 21, 2014 at 13:27

            Welding of that nuttsack remains the funniest thing ever!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 13:38

            Moenie met ‘n skokstok vroetel nie! rofl.

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 21, 2014 at 13:40

            bwhahahahahaaaaahahaha

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 13:26

            For that reference you get +1 million internet points.

          • Hammersteyn

            January 21, 2014 at 13:29

            Now you made me laugh πŸ˜›

  5. Alien Emperor Trevor

    January 21, 2014 at 13:14

    Wow that’s some classy shit right there. The “oh I was drunk” defense doesn’t cut it. Being drunk doesn’t make you do anything you aren’t inclined to do, it just takes away some of the filters. I’m quite impressed at how she handled it.

    Would I be correct in assuming Indistalk is short for Indecent Stalking?

    Reply

  6. Hammersteyn

    January 21, 2014 at 13:16

    What a dick, he’s depressed and a alcoholic? Welcome to my world. I don’t work the whole day and when I’m not working I play games or sit at the pub drinking myself into a coma. But I would never talk to a women like that. If that doesn’t constitute a law suit I don’t know what does.

    Reply

    • GalacticLordCaptainAwesomeness

      January 21, 2014 at 13:20

      Agreed… work all day, drink beer at night (Home Brew FTW) and spend countless hours playing games. and never shall words like that be uttered… That is the problem i have with countries that do not *inset here* (spank, beat) the kids… No respect ,,, that carries on into adulthood where this type of behavior is normal for them…. I’m sorry… try that in front of a well brought up Proper man, and see the type of PW you will get..

      Reply

      • Kensei Seraph Moe Ninja

        January 21, 2014 at 13:31

        In the defense of those who weren’t *insert here* (spank, beat) as kids, I wouldn’t say anything like that and neither would any of my friends or siblings and any of us wouldn’t let him get away with that if we were there.

        Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        January 21, 2014 at 13:31

        Corporal punishment FTW. That’s the only way to enforce discipline. I love how some people want to have debates with their children when they misbehave in a public place.

        Reply

  7. oVg

    January 21, 2014 at 13:16

    Some people need A FCUK OFF GREAT BIG KICK IN THE CHOPS!!!

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief in Vegas

      January 21, 2014 at 13:16

      lol

      Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 21, 2014 at 13:17

      What if she was married or in a relationship? Her other half would go ape shit on the guys ass!

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief in Vegas

        January 21, 2014 at 13:18

        I’d rather go ape shit on his face than his ass

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          January 21, 2014 at 13:19

          XD

          Reply

      • oVg

        January 21, 2014 at 13:26

        I kind of think that people are becoming desensitized to the amount of fuck nuts on the the free soup box called the internet. Every muppet now has a platform. From the tick addict who never attended a day of school to an amoeba.

        One just has to learn to accept it and ignore social media. Otherwise you blow up like Phil Fish.

        But when they threaten your children’s lives like those cowards angry at the female writer for Bioware then that needs some kind of governance by some internet authority.

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief in Vegas

          January 21, 2014 at 13:28

          Indeed oVg, well said

          Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          January 21, 2014 at 13:28

          Agreed, there has to be some form of accountability.

          Reply

    • Skyblue

      January 21, 2014 at 14:11

      Better than this… “check” it out :p

      Reply

      • Gavin Mannion

        January 21, 2014 at 14:22

        I think that’s called a banana kcik

        Reply

      • TiMsTeR1033

        January 21, 2014 at 14:27

        bad break that!

        Reply

      • Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim

        January 21, 2014 at 14:29

        That’s actually Dhalsim. Dude’s not hear, just made of rubber.

        Reply

        • Skyblue

          January 21, 2014 at 14:44

          Explains why they call Anderson The Spider :p

          Reply

      • oVg

        January 21, 2014 at 15:28

        tooooo soooon πŸ˜›

        Reply

  8. Alien Emperor Trevor

    January 21, 2014 at 13:18

    My one colleague is quite attractive, she’s asked me more than once to walk with her to the shop or somewhere just so that she doesn’t get comments & whistles from random guys on the street. Sometime even with me along it still happens & it really upsets her. I’ve never understood why some guys think it’s okay to do that to some random stranger.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief in Vegas

      January 21, 2014 at 13:24

      No wonder she asks you, you are mos a big burly manly man, man!

      #FriendZoned

      πŸ˜›

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        January 21, 2014 at 13:27

        I have a beard & everything! Watch out or I’ll get manly on your ass! Wait.. that might have come out wrong :/

        #foreverSP!

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief in Vegas

          January 21, 2014 at 13:28

          hahaha, we on for some co-op tonight so I can SAVE your ass?

          Reply

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 13:37

            Sounds good, what time more or less?

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 21, 2014 at 13:40

            8?

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 13:40

            Perfect. Zombies beware!

          • Her Highness the Hipster

            January 21, 2014 at 13:52

            ooooo! if i can tear myself away from mass effect/watching arrow or true blood, i’ll come join you! πŸ™‚

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 13:57

            The more the merrier. Is Arrow good or what? I’m STILL surprised by it.

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 13:58

            Arrow is great. Is there space for one more in that game?

          • Her Highness the Hipster

            January 21, 2014 at 14:05

            how can anyone say no to pangirl?

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 14:08

            Haha. You are yet to see me and my pan in action on L4D.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 14:34

            Does your pan bring all the zombies to the yard?

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 14:35

            Hahaha.
            The clang of that thing rises above the gunfire I tell you.

          • Her Highness the Hipster

            January 21, 2014 at 14:00

            REALLY enjoying it – can’t stop watching. so well done

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 14:01

            I must say, it feels very premium. Haven’t been into a series like this in a while.

          • Admiral Chief in Vegas

            January 21, 2014 at 14:03

            I expect you to report for duty at 8 soldier!

          • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

            January 21, 2014 at 15:22

            I want friends for BF4 :((

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 15:24

            When they take EA off the box I’ll get it πŸ™‚

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 15:25

            That’s why it’s not called BFF4 amirite!

          • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

            January 21, 2014 at 15:30

            Lol!

            SQUADMATES! There I fixed it πŸ˜›

          • Alex Hicks

            January 21, 2014 at 14:26

            Actually, since L4D2 is a 4 player co-op game; “the more the merrier” is only true in multiples of 4 …

            I may also try and join – but can’t promise anything …

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 14:28

            That’s true. Given the nature of the article I thought it better not to go with my first response of, “wait, they’re letting you out of the kitchen?” πŸ˜‰

    • General JJ PanGirl

      January 21, 2014 at 13:58

      They’re not whistling at you? What assholes.

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        January 21, 2014 at 13:59

        I know. I was flexing my pecs too. Some people are so unappreciative of my efforts.

        Reply

      • Rock789

        January 21, 2014 at 14:24

        How do we know it’s not Emperor Alien doing the whistling, via some form of ventriloquism? Hmmm… πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

        Reply

        • General JJ PanGirl

          January 21, 2014 at 14:25

          You have a creative yet devious mind. Who knows what true powers the Emperor holds?

          Reply

          • Rock789

            January 21, 2014 at 14:55

            Exactly! πŸ™‚

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          January 21, 2014 at 14:26

          There must be a way to refer to cunning linguistics in response, but it’s eluding me right now :/

          Reply

          • Rock789

            January 21, 2014 at 14:55

            Lol! πŸ™‚

    • TiMsTeR1033

      January 21, 2014 at 14:00

      Sounds like you did the right thing! Bravo man! Now if she is single you should ask her out! Seeing as she trusts you and stuff!

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        January 21, 2014 at 14:07

        Nope, the Admiral was right first time with the #friendzoned lol

        Reply

        • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

          January 21, 2014 at 15:23

          So take advantage man πŸ˜€ she trusts you more πŸ˜‰

          Reply

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 15:34

            haha, not going to happen, she also knows how full of crap I am πŸ˜€

          • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

            January 21, 2014 at 15:45

            The friendzone can be conquered! You’re halfway there by being full of crap lol

        • Anon A Mouse

          January 21, 2014 at 15:30

          You already have the friends bit, now go for the benefits part. πŸ˜‰

          Reply

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            January 21, 2014 at 15:34

            Nope, unlike our friend above I know where the line is.

  9. NiteFenix

    January 21, 2014 at 13:19

    All I see there is he was sorry after he was reported/found out. Reading that, all I take away from the things he said was he meant every word, and he was enjoying himself. Alcohol and depression is not an excuse. Apologizing doesn’t fix the situation. People like him needs serious help.

    Reply

  10. Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

    January 21, 2014 at 13:20

    Wow. I am at a loss for words. How did he ever think it was appropriate? Even when drunk?

    Even when drunk I have never been that crass to a female. Yikes.

    I hope he seeks help for both his depression and alcoholism

    Reply

    • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

      January 21, 2014 at 15:24

      I am actually more polite when drunk lol

      Reply

  11. Daniel Keevy

    January 21, 2014 at 13:26

    This is pretty disgusting. I feel sorry for the woman, having to remain professional while this happened. Someone tell me the dude’s lost his job at least.

    Reply

    • Her Highness the Hipster

      January 21, 2014 at 13:28

      agreed – horrible to have to keep professional when faced with that trash!

      Reply

      • iAmWeasel

        January 21, 2014 at 13:31

        Disagree, it’s pretty easy to stay composed behind a computer monitor. Whole different thing if it’s face to face.

        Reply

      • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

        January 21, 2014 at 13:33

        What would you have done had it been you?

        I would never be able to keep it together and not hit back

        Reply

        • Her Highness the Hipster

          January 21, 2014 at 13:39

          honestly, hard to say. it’s sort of like dealing with a bully – we’re often told to just ignore it, that they’re doing it for attention. meanwhile, sometimes people don’t realize they’re being horrible, or they back off if they know you’re not interested. difficult line to walk – now i just hide behind my husband “you shouldn’t say things like that – my husband will kill you” seems to help πŸ™‚

          Reply

          • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

            January 21, 2014 at 13:45

            Well I guess that works too lol

          • TiMsTeR1033

            January 21, 2014 at 13:47

            Or you can just get you in a photo with a big ass dude built like a tank hahaha and say “this is my husband”

  12. Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

    January 21, 2014 at 13:28

    I am going to take my hat off to her for not reacting to his comments at all. That’s some serious self control

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph Moe Ninja

      January 21, 2014 at 13:28

      Agreed.

      Reply

    • Admiral Chief in Vegas

      January 21, 2014 at 13:28

      Self control.
      Level: EXPERT

      Reply

    • Radioedit

      January 21, 2014 at 15:13

      A simple “I don’t think that’s appropriate” would have stopped it earlier. She types “HAHAHAHA” after he offers to kiss her vagina. That’s not exactly sending the right message if you find someone else’s words offensive.

      Reply

      • General JJ PanGirl

        January 21, 2014 at 15:16

        I wonder if she wasn’t just really caught off guard and didn’t know what to say. It’s easy to look at it objectively now, but when you’re in that moment it’s very different.

        Reply

        • Radioedit

          January 21, 2014 at 15:22

          Understandable, but me and me friends (male and female) say some pretty heinous things to one another when we’re joking around. We never mean to be offensive, but it’s hard to know when you’ve crossed the line unless someone says so.

          NOTE: This case is far worse than that as there was no established relationship and it occurred between professional semi-colleagues. I’m just speaking more generally on the issue of conversational boundaries.

          Reply

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 15:25

            I get what you mean. Something simple could’ve made all the difference. I wouldn’t have known what to say if I was in that situation, but that’s just my personality.

  13. Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

    January 21, 2014 at 13:32

    Hands up how many guys here feel disgusted and upset that this will most likely reflect badly on all men and not just this one guy who was wildly inappropriate?

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      January 21, 2014 at 13:33

      I’m waving my hands in the air because I do care.

      Reply

    • Stephen Snook

      January 21, 2014 at 13:37

      I try and not let the actions of one person represent me. Nor do I let it represent my gender. That being said, it isn’t great for our case.

      Reply

    • Anon A Mouse

      January 21, 2014 at 14:59

      At least the very intelligent ladies I associate with do have minds of their own and while this dude is a complete tool, they will not go as far as to sling mud at each and every male being the same. (Except if you are a Loftus faithful πŸ™‚ )

      Reply

      • General JJ PanGirl

        January 21, 2014 at 15:01

        Loftus. Such swear words on a Tuesday.

        Reply

      • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

        January 21, 2014 at 15:15

        Sheesh dude. Language. No need to say l-o-f-t-u-s on here man

        Reply

  14. TiMsTeR1033

    January 21, 2014 at 13:43

    YOH! HECTIC MY BRU!! That dude needs a serious wakeup call! NOT COOL!

    Reply

  15. Gerhard Davids

    January 21, 2014 at 13:55

    My Jimmies: ? Rustled ? Unrustled

    Reply

  16. AchtungBaby_

    January 21, 2014 at 14:02

    The problem here is she did nothing to stop this guy. I would have said from his first dirty comment, that’s inappropriate and he should stop, or ignore him if he didn’t. She just kept the conversation going instead. I’m not saying it’s her fault, but women need to stand up for themselves in these types of situations.

    Reply

    • General JJ PanGirl

      January 21, 2014 at 14:04

      I personally think it’s better this way. A drunk guy like that, you’re just asking for him to say even more if you acknowledge anything he says.

      Reply

      • Anon A Mouse

        January 21, 2014 at 14:47

        The question is, was he really drunk?

        Reply

        • SheHulkNigri

          January 21, 2014 at 14:52

          Oh ye Gods, that just opens up a whole new box of horrible thoughts…

          Reply

          • Her Highness the Hipster

            January 21, 2014 at 15:22

            he even apologizes after one comment “sorry, that was forward” – he knew exactly what he was doing!

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 15:24

            Agreed. Hope he gets endless crap for this.

          • Anon A Mouse

            January 21, 2014 at 15:27

            But that’s why I wonder if he really was drunk. It’s easy to blame someone or something else, than to rather (wo)man up about it and take it on the chin.

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 15:29

            How he thinks that being drunk makes it any better is a mystery though. Showing your true self there then.

          • SheHulkNigri

            January 21, 2014 at 15:30

            That makes it so much more worse! What makes it even worse is she asks him: Are you tipsy and he responds no. Then he goes public and tells everyone uncle Jack Daniels made him do it.
            This guy deserves a kick in the nuts. Oh wait… I do not think he has nuts. Indiestalk…

        • General JJ PanGirl

          January 21, 2014 at 14:57

          O_o

          Reply

  17. TiMsTeR1033

    January 21, 2014 at 14:02

    Here is a thought, what if you as a guy were sexually harassed at work by a women…. Wonder how often that actually happens..

    Reply

    • Her Highness the Hipster

      January 21, 2014 at 14:06

      i’ve heard about it a lot – women seem to think that men automatically want their attention. unwanted advances are never cool, and compounded in the workplace

      Reply

      • TiMsTeR1033

        January 21, 2014 at 14:09

        I remember long ago working in retail and this one employee actually locked the storeroom door on a fellow employee ( the woman locked the door) and took off her clothes to seduce the guy… Poor guy was never the same again!

        Reply

    • Rags

      January 21, 2014 at 15:08

      It does happen, but you get laughed at, no one writes about it and you are thought a loser or a queer and should just man up πŸ˜‰ The same with domestic violence.

      Reply

      • Brady miaau

        January 21, 2014 at 15:13

        It happened to me and I wrote about it. See above post.

        That was many years ago now

        Reply

  18. Guava_Eater

    January 21, 2014 at 14:12

    Its never acceptable. Name and Shame the bastards, they should also get banned from their respective games/forums/chat channels

    Reply

  19. Anon A Mouse

    January 21, 2014 at 14:28

    Haven’t read any of the comments but it just seems strange to me that she never objected to this. Like Zoe said the line being crossed is very fluid and not the same for everyone. Surely if you feel uncomfortable about a certain response you tell the person about it.

    I come from a profession and workplace that is very strict on sexual harassment and even just looking at a person wrong will get you in trouble. Therefor I am very conservative when it comes to things said to people I don’t really know, but I do have a few friends where we do joke about almost every thing under the sun. That trust was build over 20 years of friendship and we normally don’t even take the jokes that far if we are in company that will feel uncomfortable about it.

    I do feel that a person should speak up as soon as (s)he feels uncomfortable in a situation. How else will the other person know that they are transgressing? I don’t for one second condone what was said above but I have personally heard more sexual undertones in conversations where both participants were more than relaxed about it, but that seemed totally out of place for the people around them.

    Then again since I mostly only talk about the weather for fear of insulting anyone, that might be the reason why I’m #foreversp.

    Reply

    • TiMsTeR1033

      January 21, 2014 at 14:30

      shame man you need MP!

      Reply

      • General JJ PanGirl

        January 21, 2014 at 14:32

        But not as a bought DLC. Those things are never safe.

        Reply

    • SheHulkNigri

      January 21, 2014 at 14:38

      Maybe she ignored it for a reason. Get the chat over with so I can get rid of this asshole?

      Reply

      • Anon A Mouse

        January 21, 2014 at 14:54

        Why then not ignoring him when he started with the crap? It was online and not face to face. Just walk away.

        Reply

        • SheHulkNigri

          January 21, 2014 at 15:05

          LoL. You just summed up what is wrong with a hell of a lot of companies customer service department.
          I work for a company, and we take our online presence very seriously. We deal with any online queries we get the same way we do with face to face or telephonic queries, and that is: You are our customer, and our greatest asset.
          We take you seriously.
          This girl from what I can understand is a game developer. So if someone from the media (online or print) contact her, she is going to make sure she assists him with any query he has. It breeds good will between the studio and media outlet. When they release their game, they will use any contact they have for exposure.
          Telling the guy off as a dick may not have been in their best interest then.

          Reply

          • Anon A Mouse

            January 21, 2014 at 15:19

            I do understand what you are saying but that whole conversation looks more like he tried a subject to get a conversation started and to be an ASS. Surely if she cut him off by saying something like “So sorry ne, but I can’t help you” that would have been sufficient?

            I don’t know how or what she felt, and it might sound that I’m defending this dude (which I’m not) but in this particular instance I do feel there was an out for her to take.

          • SheHulkNigri

            January 21, 2014 at 15:24

            Look, I never faced sexual harassment in my line of work. I just do not sound sexy over the phone. But the sad thing is, I have dealt with people that were unpleasant. Unfortunately, professionalism demands you grin and bare it.

    • Guava_Eater

      January 21, 2014 at 14:42

      Sometimes people don’t like confrontation, would you react the same if she was raped and you say “why didn’t she try and fight?”. She kept her cool, stayed professional and ignored the comments. Just because she didn’t actively object doesn’t mean she consents.

      Reply

      • SheHulkNigri

        January 21, 2014 at 14:45

        True that. A gentleman this guy is not, but if he saw she did not react to his advances, why did he just not get the hint and stop?

        Reply

      • Anon A Mouse

        January 21, 2014 at 14:53

        You will notice that I’ve said that I don’t condone what happened. Clearly the fact that he came out and sort of apologised shows that this wasn’t a normal conversation.
        You say that she might not like confrontation, my question then is who leaked this onto the net then?
        As for your rape statement, surely you can see that there is a huge difference about this conversation and being raped? This was an online conversation where she could just as well have ignored him and went on with her life, whereas by being raped you can’t just ignore it can you?

        Reply

      • Radioedit

        January 21, 2014 at 15:18

        No I wouldn’t, and that’s an outrageous analogy.

        There’s a pretty massive difference between being raped and being offended. I understand that some people don’t like confrontation, but laughing at someone’s jokes while they’re making sexual comments towards you doesn’t exactly send the right message.

        She eventually started to ignore his sexual remarks and that’s when he should have taken the hint, but you can’t always expect someone to know when they’ve crossed the line. A simple “please don’t talk to me like that” can do wonders.

        Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      January 21, 2014 at 14:59

      I know what you’re saying. The nice thing about our small office is we’ve been working together for a very long time & during the course of the years have had some very blunt conversations about all kinds of topics that would be very frowned upon by from outside our little circle. At the same time we also know each other well enough to know what not to say, and if someone from outside our office is there those conversations don’t happen at all.

      Reply

      • General JJ PanGirl

        January 21, 2014 at 15:02

        We’re exceptionally relaxed for a corporate company of this size, but it’s still a bit stiff sometimes.

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          January 21, 2014 at 15:07

          It depends on the people I guess. At our head office it’s like you’re not even allowed to laugh without getting a disapproving look.

          Reply

          • General JJ PanGirl

            January 21, 2014 at 15:10

            Wow. That’s not nice.

  20. SheHulkNigri

    January 21, 2014 at 14:29

    Ha! I just love how he tries the hero approach in his apology: ” Especially since I have been such an advocate of women in games and treating everyone with the same level of respect and decency…”
    He does go on to say he has been a hypocrite, but alas, his apology would have felt more sincere if he did not lead with the hero BS.
    And come on. Blaming drink and depression for his harassment even makes it worse. Man up. Just tell the world: “I amwas an asshole. Sorry about that.”

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      January 21, 2014 at 14:31

      Exactly this. It’s one of those “it’s my fault but it’s not my fault” apologies.

      Reply

  21. RinceThis2014

    January 21, 2014 at 14:35

    Wow… Just wow. I don’t care how drunk you are that is WAY out of line. Man, what a creep.

    Reply

  22. Brady miaau

    January 21, 2014 at 15:07

    I was a victim of Sexual harassment, years ago. Inappropriate touching, comments and so forth by a female director at a large company. Took me a long time to see it, as it started out in a friendly way and then progressively gets worse. I will not say I was or am traumatized by it, but I can see how quickly and how badly wrong things can get. It did bother me a little bit at the time.

    I stopped it by talking to her. She got very angry and said I was in huge trouble for lying and misunderstanding. I calmly said I have many witness’s that are prepared to tell the truth and I suggest we both just walk away. I did not threaten, but it was implied. I worry that by not “turning her in”, I may have allowed some other young man (I was 21) to fall into the same situation.

    I like to be prepared. I did, however, resign a month later.

    I only mention this as a guide on how quickly these things can get out of hand and what seems innocent fun can tun into nastiness given time. Note this opinion is based on my life and may or may not be an accurate reflection on such sexual harassment situations.

    Reply

    • General JJ PanGirl

      January 21, 2014 at 15:11

      Wow dude. That’s quite bad man. But good for you to actually going directly to her.

      Reply

      • Brady miaau

        January 21, 2014 at 15:29

        well, yes and no. It was bad at the time but I am lucky in that I shrugged it off fairly quickly. Now it serves as an example and warning to others: Joking and horsing around in the office is all well and good, but watch it.

        Reply

        • General JJ PanGirl

          January 21, 2014 at 15:32

          And you know more about it from having been through it.

          Reply

  23. Radioedit

    January 21, 2014 at 15:11

    The thing that confuses me slightly is she seemed to respond
    positively to his first few sexual comments, and then ignores them going
    forward.

    He should have taken the hint when she started to ignore him, but if
    someone makes you uncomfortable with what they say you shouldn’t laugh
    when they say it. Is any sexual remark that is poorly received always harassment?

    Reply

    • Gavin Mannion

      January 21, 2014 at 15:23

      I see what you are saying but I don’t think she responded positively at all.. the ‘oh boy’ statement as maybe misread?

      Reply

    • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

      January 21, 2014 at 15:27

      She kept her cool, probably knowing that she would expose him. So in no way whatsoever can anybody say that she baited him, or further aggravated the situation. She illustrated that this was entirely his doing and is solely responsible.

      Reply

      • Radioedit

        January 21, 2014 at 15:30

        But she didn’t expose him. A third party did that.

        I don’t think she baited him, but it’s not always obvious when our words offend somebody. In this case, though, he should have caught the hint much earlier than he did. I still don’t think he’s worse than Hitler. Nor do I think that sexual remarks are inherently wrong. They’re only wrong when you continue to make sexual remarks to someone who’s obviously not into it. As was the case here.

        Reply

        • Gr8_Balls_o_Fire

          January 21, 2014 at 15:35

          Mutual consent was not present. Agreed

          Also I did not know a third party exposed this. But how would they have access to the Facebook accounts?

          Reply

          • Radioedit

            January 21, 2014 at 15:40

            Consent isn’t something that really applies to conversations. What would that even look like? “May I have your permission to say sexual things to you?” Couldn’t that question, in-and-of itself, be considered harassing?

            It’s more a question of established norms and boundaries. When talking to someone new, assume that such things are inappropriate until they give you reason to think otherwise. And if you do take things in a sexual direction, do so very gradually. Gauging their reaction along the way. Don’t jump out with “I want to kiss your vagina.”

            As to how they got these, I’m not sure. But it was reported that a third party collected and circulated these messages.

  24. Sageville

    January 21, 2014 at 16:06

    I groaned while reading that conversation.

    Obviously, that Josh prat should be fired, taken to court, sued etc.

    What bugs me even more than the obvious, is that the victim doesn’t call him on it at all! (I don’t count subject changes or “Are you tipsy”).

    Why didn’t this lady say anything? As soon as I saw the “I’ll kiss your vagina” comment, I would have torn this prick a new one.

    I believe indifference here is a contributing factor to the ongoing sexual harassment from men.

    Reply

  25. John Pettitt

    January 21, 2014 at 22:09

    Just WOW, any employee of mine of who behaved like that would be fired on the spot.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Check Also

Naughty Dog faces harassment claims from ex-Uncharted developer

A former Uncharted employee has shared stories of sexual harassment while employed at the …