Over two million people have been dildo-bashed to death in Saints Row the Third

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Saints Row 3 is a fantastic title, built around the idea of inflicting senseless violence in as much bad taste as possible. If you’re not busy using a gigantic sex toy to wack pedestrians into paste, then you’re probably using various other methods to deal with enemies, from which there are plenty.

The Saints Row website recently compiled some stats regarding murder and mayhem in their game, and the results showcase just how much damage we’ve caused in that virtual sandbox.

So far, players have;

  • Bludgeoned over 2 million people to death by the Penetrator so far.
  • 5.8 billion citizens of Steelport have met their demise while roaming around town. That’s 19 times the population of the US, or 85% of the population of the world.
  • Players have spent a cumulative 2 years in their birthday suits streaking the streets of Steelport and making old ladies scream.
  • In Whored Mode, 44 million pimps, gimps, and prostitutes have been dispatched.
  • 650 hot dog mascots have been overcooked to death by players using flamethrowers.

All that carnage in just over two weeks? You guys scare me. Be sure to check out the Saints Row community page as well, for an interactive look at who is doing what while playing online.

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Last Updated: December 1, 2011

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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