Please do not celebrate Star Wars Day

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palpatine6 (1)

The fourth of May. It’s two days after my birthday and the death of Hitler, but it’s also a great day to be a Star Wars fan. And why not? A cult series of films, TV shows, comics and other merchandise have resulted in a massive fan following over the years, culminating on May 4 every year. Except it’s time to stop celebrating Jedi and Wookies. Your Emperor commands it!

I hope you folks are all proud of yourself. You’ve been supporting a bunch of sister-kissing rebel scum for too long now, and quite frankly, you deserve to be zapped with empirical Force Lightning for doing so.

For shame guys, for shame.

Last Updated: May 3, 2013

Read  Denis Villeneuve wants Dune to be a Star Wars for adults

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

  • Aussious

    Lord Vader…Rise… and meet your new Master.

    • Rince da Ref Lvl2

      Leave a message…like a champion sir!

    • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

      HAHAHAHA Like a BOSS!

      • Aussious

        I never thought Id see the day that both Marvel and Lucusarts would be owned by Disney… the world has gone to shit.

    • Purple_Dragon

      Even more brilliant!

  • Purple_Dragon

    Brilliant!

  • It’s 2 days before my birthday.

  • Unavengedavo

    Pfff… I celebrated it and I am ready to face a storm trooper firing squad… O wait…

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