Please do not celebrate Star Wars Day

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The fourth of May. It’s two days after my birthday and the death of Hitler, but it’s also a great day to be a Star Wars fan. And why not? A cult series of films, TV shows, comics and other merchandise have resulted in a massive fan following over the years, culminating on May 4 every year. Except it’s time to stop celebrating Jedi and Wookies. Your Emperor commands it!

I hope you folks are all proud of yourself. You’ve been supporting a bunch of sister-kissing rebel scum for too long now, and quite frankly, you deserve to be zapped with empirical Force Lightning for doing so.

For shame guys, for shame.

Last Updated: May 3, 2013

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