Razer’s latest absurdly powerful and thin Blade gaming laptops revealed

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Razer-Drawn-Together

Yes, I know gaming laptops aren’t exactly wise investments. They’re portable pieces of technology that will most likely be outclassed within months of being released, by PC setups that are cheaper and more cumbersome. But clearly, you folks underestimate my technolust. Technolust that is now raging out of control, after I had a look at Razer’s latest range of Blade gaming laptops. Fortunately, I don’t have access to equally stupid amounts of money, so I’m sort of safe from buying one. For now.

The latest Razer Blades (heh) go on sale this week in the US of A, starting at $1999 for the HD model and going up to $2199 for the IGZO version.

“When we debuted the Razer Blade in 2013, we set the benchmark for gaming laptops – and other companies worldwide have followed in our footsteps,” Min-Liang Tan, Razer co-founder and CEO said via Polygon. “We continue to listen as gamer needs evolve and the new Razer Blade again sets the industry standard by which gaming laptops are measured.”

You have to admit, the Blades are dead sexy. They’ve got an aluminium chassis, and other custom-designed thingamajigs.

Here’s the full list of product features from the $1999 model:

• 14.0″ IPS Full HD 16:9 Ratio, 1920×1080, with LED backlight
• Intel® Core i7-4720HQ Quad Core Processor (2.6GHz / 3.6GHz)
• NVIDIA® GeForce® GTXTM 970M (3GB GDDR5 VRAM)
• 256GB SSD (SATA m.2)
• 8GB System Memory
• Intel® Wireless-AC 7260HMW (802.11a/b/g/n/ac + Bluetooth® 4.0)
• (3x) USB 3.0 port (SuperSpeed)
• HDMI 1.4a audio and video output
• Dolby® Digital Plus Home Theatre Edition
• Built-in stereo speakers
• 3.5 mm microphone/headphone combo jack
• Array microphone
• 7.1 Codec support (via HDMI)
• Built-in full-HD webcam (2.0 MP)
• TPM 2.0 (Trusted Platform Module)
• Compact 150W Power Adapter
• Built-in 70Wh Rechargeable lithium ion polymer battery
• Razer Anti-Ghosting Keyboard (with adjustable backlight)
• Razer Synapse 2.0 Enabled
• KensingtonTM Lock interface
• 13.6 in. (345 mm) Width x 0.70 in. (17.8 mm) Height x 9.3 in. (235 mm) Depth
• 4.19 lbs. / 1.9 kg

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And here’s what $2199 gets you:

• Intel® Core i7-4720HQ Quad Core Processor (2.6GHz / 3.6GHz)
• NVIDIA® GeForce® GTXTM 970M (3GB GDDR5 VRAM)
• 16GB System Memory (DDR3L-1600MHz)
• Windows® 8.1 64-Bit
• 128/256/512GB SSD (SATA M.2) options
• 14.0″ IGZO QHD+ 16:9 Ratio, 3200×1800, with LED backlight, capacitive multi-touch
• Intel® Wireless-AC 7260HMW (802.11a/b/g/n/ac + Bluetooth® 4.0)
• (3x) USB 3.0 port (SuperSpeed)
• HDMI 1.4a audio and video output
• Dolby® Digital Plus Home Theater Edition
• Built-in stereo speakers
• 3.5 mm microphone/headphone combo jack
• Array microphone
• 7.1 Codec support (via HDMI)
• Built-in full-HD webcam (2.0 MP)
• TPM 2.0 (Trusted Platform Module)
• Compact 150W Power Adapter
• Built-in 70Wh Rechargeable lithium ion polymer battery
• Razer Anti-Ghosting Keyboard (with adjustable backlight)
• Razer Synapse 2.0 Enabled
• KensingtonTM Lock interface
• 13.6 in. (345 mm) Width x 0.70 in. (17.8 mm) Height x 9.3 in. (235 mm) Depth
• 4.47 lbs. / 2.03 kg

I love laptops, primarily because I’m a practical kind of guy. They take up less space, and with my gaming habits focused on console, I don’t exactly need a piece of hardware which could double as the operating technology behind the Death Star. And right now, I genuinely need to consider upgrading. I’ve been rocking a Sony Vaio for a few years now, and while it is still quite capable, it also boasts the most stupid piece of cosmetic design I have ever encountered.

Honestly Sony, which genius in your department decided that gluing a rubber palm rest over the section of the laptop that generates the most heat, would be a good idea? And can I punt that person in the balls? I’ll be starting a Patreon soon to fund my goal of owning a new gaming laptop soon. Donate whatever you want, and be rewarded with the satisfaction that you helped stave off the technolust off a person who will most likely play MS-DOS games on this kind of hardware. C’mon, you know you want to do it.

Last Updated: February 4, 2015

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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