Ali vs. Foreman. Batman vs. Superman. Aliens vs. Predator. Banting vs. the Paleolithic diet. All massive clashes, but they all have one thing in common: They all paled in comparison to the showdown that took place on Saturday. While it may have been billed as the finals to the national Mortal Kombat X tournament, we all knew that the crowds had gathered for one match only: Team D vs Team DK. The giant of SA Gamer took on the Titan of Lazygamer and both looked relatively the same size in comparison. And it was a match for the ages.
Round 0 – The talking of the smack
I had to give Dave credit: It’s amazing that he found two ladies to escort him inside, but I think Dawid and Garth from SA Gamer suited him. Decked out in a trendy gold PlayStation controller that was curiously devoid of any custard marks, Dave had the swagger of a number one contender, ready to fight it down to the wire for my belt and championship. But Team D was ready to rock ‘n roll all night long, sweet Suzy.
And with a pair of microphones, we proved that our mouths most certainly could write cheques that our asses would find difficult to cash. But it was time. It was time to avenge my Twitter wife Sam, time to teach Dave some respect. It was time…FOR MORTAL KOMBAT!
Round 1 – FIGHT!
Dave and I knew who were taking into battle. Deciding to play as the combo-heavy Takeda in his Lasher variant, I decided to go old-school and stick it to him with Liu Kang. And from the opening bell, it was on. Whips, fireballs and more kicks to the face than a pervert getting too close to a French can-can dance line highlighted two rounds of pain for Dave. In the end, he was no match for a relentless assault of punches and boots to ass techniques, eventually ending the first match of the day without a throat. But I may have gotten a bit cocky…
Round 2 – Disaster strikes
Because like an RKO, Dave came outta nowhere with an onslaught of attacks that completely wrecked me. The crowd was cheering, Sam was close to tears and Liu Kang was being demolished worse than my arse after swallowing a a Bhut Jolokia pepper. It was embarrasing how easily my ass was being handed to me, while I felt Geoff’s icy stare from the back, disappointed and ready to tweet about my failure to avenge my Twitter-wife. It was time to stop underestimating Dave. It was time to fight not for myself, but for Sam. For Lazygamer. FOR TEAM D!
Round 3 – Revengeance
I’m not going to lie to you: An ass was kicked so hard, that it achieved lift-off and is now sometimes seen on nights that weather people call “full moon” evenings. Dave fought valiantly, seeming to have an advantage at times before dipping into a bag of foot-to-face techniques that were peppered with well-timed reversal uppercuts. In the end, Team D was victorious.
Honour had been salvaged, justice had been dealt out and my greatest nemesis had finally been defeated. The champ…was going nowhere.
Thanks
In all honesty though, I’ve got plenty of thanks to throw out. Massive respect and hearts to my battle-brother Dave Kozlowski. What we created together, was a masterpiece of dodgy videos, holstered chocolates and the oddest showdown that this country had ever seen. To my Twitter wife Sam, there’s no way that Team D could have won if you weren’t in my corner. Ster-Kinekor Entertainment and Ronelle Hendricks, a massive bucket of win to organising the BEST fighting game tournament of all time, and I’m dead keen to see how the real national champ does in Paris. Highest of fives to NAV-Tv and their sponsors Razer and Corex for not only streaming the match, but shout-casting it as well. Dawid Roesterf, huge thanks for the spare footage of the event. LIFESAVER!
And lastly, to everyone who supported Team D and made us a Twitter trend: If my heart wasn’t a vile and mishapen piece of blackened muscle that barely keeps me alive, there’d be a place for you in it.
#TeamD
Last Updated: June 8, 2015
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 14:33
Trevor’s Steak vs A Real Steak
Blood Emperor Trevor
June 8, 2015 at 14:45
D is more than just a piece of meat to me, JJ! That’s all that’s left of DK though. 😉
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 14:46
LOL
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 8, 2015 at 14:36
Team D t-shirts? Where are they?
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 14:36
They got D-formed
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 8, 2015 at 14:37
Project T-shirt has been D-railed! #PutsOnSunglasses
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 14:39
yeaaaaaaaaaa
HvR
June 8, 2015 at 14:46
Still at the tent factory
Hammersteyn
June 8, 2015 at 14:53
Used in the fight against global warming?
RinceTheElfRoot
June 9, 2015 at 09:32
In the post, this is LG after all…
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 8, 2015 at 14:37
Is that the Wookie standing behind you guys? That beard is so majestic now….
PoisonedBelial
June 8, 2015 at 14:37
This sums up my MK gaming…
Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)
June 8, 2015 at 14:40
I don’t know how you guys are going to be able to top this… the Lazygamer gang forming an acapella group? Geoff releasing a sex tape? Gavin overthrowing a small African nation? Zoe becoming the new Thor? Sandy being Sandy?
Blood Emperor Trevor
June 8, 2015 at 14:41
STONE COL-D! STONE COL-D! STONE COL-D!
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 14:46
That’s just D-meaning
Mistake Not...
June 8, 2015 at 14:41
Well done! You proved everyone, and I mean everyone (even your ‘faithful’ colleague), wrong.
Geoffrey Tim
June 8, 2015 at 14:45
I was there cheering him on. (and secretly hoping he’d lose).
😀
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 14:46
That’s what it’s all about.
Blood Emperor Trevor
June 8, 2015 at 14:46
Can you imagine the pressure having a disappointed Geoff standing behind you, watching your every move, judging you?
Pariah
June 8, 2015 at 14:47
Just give him some Sudoku to do, he’ll be off your back for months.
Geoffrey Tim
June 8, 2015 at 14:49
Actually, I play a bunch of sudoku. It’s more patterns, than real numbers. ;P
Pariah
June 8, 2015 at 14:49
It still works out dammit. Even if not as intended. XD
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 14:50
You’re the kind of rebel my mom warned me about as a kid.
HvR
June 8, 2015 at 14:49
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_RLVpU-2j8h0/R97quXHxNoI/AAAAAAAAABI/c9ztOrAZTZs/s320/FatAsianKid%5B1%5D.jpg
Pariah
June 8, 2015 at 14:48
Grats on the victory D!
Sadly though, this means I can only make fun of your love for wrestling now. :/
Mark Vincer
June 8, 2015 at 14:51
Good Mitchell and Webb reference from one of my favourite clips. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MusyO7J2inM
PS: congraturations
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 8, 2015 at 14:52
Entertainment level…..ITS OVER 9K!!!!
Blood Emperor Trevor
June 8, 2015 at 14:52
*IT’S
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 14:53
http://i.imgur.com/xgz9nkR.gif
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 8, 2015 at 14:55
ME NO CARES! SO MUCH EXCITEDNESSNESS!!!
Pariah
June 8, 2015 at 14:55
Mr Price has a website. You can get new pants delivered to you.
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 14:58
Mr Price pants have the thread count of a paper towel. Won’t last 😉
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 8, 2015 at 14:59
Nice fashion terminology there Browman
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 14:59
I have no idea what you’re talking about :/
Pariah
June 8, 2015 at 15:00
You forgot the: ?_?
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 15:00
lol
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 8, 2015 at 15:02
Right, I’ll keep your filthy secret a little bit longer, but one day, one day…
HvR
June 8, 2015 at 15:01
They are also very tight, at least their shirts are no longer cut short as if every man wants to show off his naval
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 15:02
Haha.
Pariah
June 8, 2015 at 14:52
At least Shenron granted D his wish. 😛
Hammersteyn
June 8, 2015 at 14:53
Yo Sammy we did it XD XD XD
Spathi
June 8, 2015 at 14:54
Congratulations Darryn; automatic Batman of the Week for you. You did us proud!
HvR
June 8, 2015 at 14:56
Can you smell what the D is cooking …………………….victory with dash of chilli’s
Pariah
June 8, 2015 at 14:57
I’m not entirely sure D wants anything further to do with chillies.
Trebzz
June 8, 2015 at 14:58
You kicked ass Mr D and for that I say congrats 😀 both you guys are awesome and deserve a ton of respect.
Pariah
June 8, 2015 at 14:59
Team D:
?(ò_ó?)?
Geoffrey Tim
June 8, 2015 at 15:14
he has got massive goofy ears, yes.
Pariah
June 8, 2015 at 15:16
It just took all the self-control I could muster to not literally “rofl”!!!
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 8, 2015 at 14:59
A celebratory munching of chillies I say!
All those in favour of the D getting his ‘reward’ for a job well done?
Captain JJ the_scarrrr
June 8, 2015 at 15:00
Click to vote
*clicks
Admiral Chief's Adventure
June 8, 2015 at 15:02
YES I UPVOTED THIS!
Pariah
June 8, 2015 at 15:03
Did you break this morning? First a punctuation error, and now upvoting yourself?
Skoobaz
June 8, 2015 at 15:58
Forgot the comma too… I think he was rooting for the D to lose and got suplised!
FoxOneZA
June 8, 2015 at 15:01
The match was how big ya’ say? THIS BIIIIIIIGGGG BRUTHA!
FoxOneZA
June 8, 2015 at 15:01
I hope TeamD doesn’t plan on taking over Twitter after trending o_O
Trevor Matrix
June 8, 2015 at 15:15
The fucks Trevor gave…
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/5oQuPaUFJVo/maxresdefault.jpg
Well done D!
Lord Chaos
June 8, 2015 at 15:28
The Hell? It’s alive!!!
Jonah Cash
June 8, 2015 at 15:25
Well played D! Also trending in SA is pretty rad…. Well done gaming people.
HairyEwok
June 8, 2015 at 15:28
I question our sanity on a daily basis here XD
Lord Chaos
June 8, 2015 at 15:30
You know, it’s all nice and well that it was such a success, but had some major issues with IS at work today.
Why did you break it D?
Skoobaz
June 8, 2015 at 15:59
Well Done Darryn, well played!
Ranting Raptor
June 8, 2015 at 16:35
Such epicness.
Loftus
June 8, 2015 at 19:07
Batman salutes you with a sweep of the cape!
RinceTheElfRoot
June 9, 2015 at 09:31
So much win!