Gather round kids, and lemme tell ya a story…It’s called KEEP OFF MAH LAWN! While I go hunt down some truant teenagers Predator style, you can enjoy the weekly wrap-up.
Getting drunk and playing video isn’t just fun, it’s…well hell, I don’t actually know. But still, there are plenty of games out there for which you don’t need alcohol to enjoy the experience. Just to enhance it. Like Surgeon Simulator 2013.
PASSSSH ME DA SHCALPEL NURSHE!
EA, what is happening with you? You’re laying off staff like a fat person vomiting into a toilet so that he or she can be pretty and in good shape. Note to self, clean toilet.
And getting rid of the EA Partners label? I worry about you EA, truly I do.
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Despite the fact that Manchester United has so many lovely ladies playing for them, I think that Sara Jean Underwood wins this week hands down,
No seriously, hands down, you perverts.
Every so often, I hit on a story that draws in the comments. A story such as Pat Robertson being a money-grubbing opportunist who abuses a decent faith in order to enrich his own pockets while leaving comments about subjects in life that he has no knowledge of.
And then, just for an instant, it starts to look like I’m going to win the most comments for the week. I feel great at that point. Vindicated. Professional. Happy. And then like the absolute bastard that he is, Geoff comes along and leaves me in second place with a well-timed shot from his commentron 3000 rifle.
And people wonder why I write the Johnny Walkerthroughs.
But[t], if it’s any consolation, at least my comment count looked pretty healthy this week, compared to the single digit that Yolanda received for her keyboard review. In fact, she was so damn devastated at that loss, that she took some time off for a few weeks.
Last we heard, she was somewhere in eastern Europe, honing her mind, body and soul in a gruelling journey to get more comments…
Batman Of The Week
Yes, it’s Geoff once again. Bah. But I’m kinda used to that. Still, yours truly managed to beat the boss this week with a sound percentage lead, which makes me the Robin of the week! Time to break out the too-tight green speedo and comfy stockings, so that I can help Geoff out on patrol.
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I’m going with the Xbox 360 Pizza the Hutt one, because I can’t believe that not another gaming website used it. It was pure genius, on my part. Plus Spaceballs.
Always a win.
Comment Of The Week
Sageville wins the best comment of the week, for his idea on how to save Zynga games, and especially, Farmville:
Schweet, to revitalize the industry, Zygna should open Arsonville, whereby players can spend time burning up other peoples farms made in farmville.
Would I pay money for that? Buddy, I’d dye my hair ginger and wear a red jacket before foisting a wad of cash into the mouths of Zynga for such a game.
Last Updated: April 26, 2013