The Hit List – Top 5 ways that games dicked with software pirates

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Patchy-the-Pirate

For as long as there have been games, there have been video game pirates. The software swashbucklers have long been a thorn in the side of many a publisher and developer, forcing such companies to resort to some creative methods of enforcing digital copyright protection. And uPlay, the bane of any customer who actually bought a game. Still, with the Sims 4 taking a unique approach to enforcing their right to free and fair trade,w e decided to take a look at five other innovative methods of keeping pirates away from playing popular game over the ages.

In case you can’t watch the video above (For R9.95 per month, I’ll hobble your IT department and unlock the proxies), these are the games we’re discussing today:

  • Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders – Software piracy jail
  • Michael Jackson: The Experience – Lord Of The Flies
  • GTA IV – Wibble wobble
  • Crysis Warhead – Chicken!
  • Serious Sam 3 – The unstoppable pink scorpion of death

I don’t think there’ll ever be a reason to justify video game piracy. Not ever. I understand that some games feel like a gamble these days, and that not everyone can afford to throw down several hundred Randelas on a new title. And if that’s the case, then don’t. Take a chance when the game is on sale. Be patient. Find a pal who bought the game and experience it there. Rent it from a video store. But don’t steal it.

Because who knows what methods developers will go to, especially when they get ticked off, of dealing with a thief and his ass? I’m telling you, one of these days we’re going to experience a fatality…

Last Updated: September 8, 2014

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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