Home Gaming The Kim Kardashian game is as bad as you think

The Kim Kardashian game is as bad as you think

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Kim Kardashian game

Having just returned from LA, where everyone is desperate to be noticed without any concern about why they’d stand out, I am acutely aware of the impact the Kardashians have had on all of us. Even those, like me, who avoid mention of them like the plague. Now, Kim is going to invade the gaming world, and it’s awful.

A bunch of tabloids recently went mad about a couple Instagram posts by Kim Kardashian. First up, there’s the sneak peak for the upcoming project:

Then there is this picture of Kim in the studio, recording something for her game, although the tabloids are speculating that this will tie in with relaunching her recording career. Every part of that sentence seems wrong, but here’s the picture.

But why speculate? Over on YouTube, there’s an entire hour-long “sneak peak” at the game. Stealing a cue from the Mortal Kombat games, they even changed the spelling of things so you can “Kustomize” your character. But what’s the game about? Well, according to the video description, this iOS and Android game lets you:

Join KIM KARDASHIAN on a red carpet adventure in Kim Kardiashain: Hollywood! Create your own aspiring celebrity and rise to fame and fortune!

  • CREATE YOUR OWN STAR and customize your look with hundreds of style options, including Kim Kardashian’s personal picks!
  • STAR in a huge interactive adventure as you encounter other celebs, dedicated fans, persistent paparazzi… and even hang out with Kim herself!
  • RULE THE RED CARPET as an A-list movie actor, cover model, fashion designer and more – what you do is up to you!
  • TAKE OVER L.A. in a virtual world complete with exclusive clubs, upscale boutiques, and luxury homes! Travel to New York City and Miami!
  • DATE AND DUMP CELEBS at the best parties and hottest clubs! Flirt and become the next huge celebrity power-couple!
  • BRING YOUR FRIENDS ALONG FOR THE RIDE using Game Center and Facebook – help each other rise to fame, compare styles, send gifts, and see who can be the biggest star!

Overlooking the fact that if Geoff were their editor he would take away their exclamation marks until they knew how to use them, this is one of the most terrifying game descriptions I’ve read in a long time. It’s going beyond the usual boring fashion games for girls online, it’s encouraging players to shop, flirt and date their way to success. I wonder if you can gain a celebrity boost by releasing a sex tape.

Kim Kardashian: Hollywood will be free to play with players purchasing additional in-game items. I can just imagine the awful add-ons – I’m sure she’s tying it in with her sisters’ shops and there will be an entire Dash collection available for the low low price of all your money and soul. How long can you last watching this gameplay video?

Last Updated: June 18, 2014

122 Comments

  1. Monado

    June 18, 2014 at 13:06

    Yeah this game does not allow me to have sex with a well endowed black man. Fake, not buying this

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      June 18, 2014 at 13:16

      You gonna review this as well 😛

      Reply

      • Monado

        June 18, 2014 at 13:18

        LOL Ouch…Is this gonna stick with me for the rest of my days at LG

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          June 18, 2014 at 13:19

          Nah, just today.

          Reply

          • Sith JJ

            June 18, 2014 at 13:19

            All day

        • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

          June 18, 2014 at 13:19

          Yep! like the time Erwin won Katy Perry Sims. That hung around his neck for a year or two.

          Reply

          • Sith JJ

            June 18, 2014 at 13:19

            He did!?!?

          • Hammersteyn

            June 18, 2014 at 13:20

            lol wut?

          • Monado

            June 18, 2014 at 13:21

            HAHAHAHAHAHA. We all know hes the biggest Katie Perry fan on LG

          • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

            June 18, 2014 at 13:46

            Well she is hawt, the music…not so much

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          June 18, 2014 at 13:21

          Hey, at least with the sex tape you know you can get further than heavy petting.

          Reply

          • Monado

            June 18, 2014 at 13:21

            Well my finger was pretty sensitive after the play session.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            June 18, 2014 at 13:23

            If it’s red & swollen you should see a doctor.

          • Monado

            June 18, 2014 at 13:24

            It was a bit red, but after an hour I was good for another 2 minute session…Uhm…The vita has a short battery life

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            June 18, 2014 at 13:30

            So no instant respawn? That sucks.

    • Heh

      July 7, 2014 at 13:24

      You don’t have to buy, it’s free.

      Reply

  2. Sith JJ

    June 18, 2014 at 13:10

    There’s a Kardashian game? What the hell is this world coming to?

    Reply

    • Jaded_Reprobate

      June 18, 2014 at 13:15

      SkyNet has taken over….

      Reply

      • Sith JJ

        June 18, 2014 at 13:17

        A very Unintelligent Skynet, no doubt.

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          June 18, 2014 at 13:18

          Aleady infected with worms,viruses and the digital clap from Kim

          Reply

          • Robert Boyd

            September 5, 2014 at 18:39

            thats f@cking hilairous

        • Jaded_Reprobate

          June 18, 2014 at 13:19

          Unless SkyNet is trying to dumb down the human race, In which case, it’s winning

          Reply

          • Sith JJ

            June 18, 2014 at 13:20

            Winning by quite a margin too.

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      June 18, 2014 at 13:17

      Some of the other spawn also “wrote” a YA “novel”. It is apparently also very, very bad.

      Reply

      • Sith JJ

        June 18, 2014 at 13:18

        I don’t want to get into YA fantasy novels right now. I’ve been good all day with what I’ve been commenting.

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          June 18, 2014 at 13:20

          You forget the ” ” around novel.

          Reply

          • Sith JJ

            June 18, 2014 at 13:20

            Haha. Oh yes.

        • Alex Hicks

          June 18, 2014 at 13:26

          I’m sorry – but what is “YA”?

          Reply

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            June 18, 2014 at 13:29

            Young Adult. It’s what they now call teenage level writing & wish fulfillment so that the actual adults who’re incapable of reading at an adult level don’t feel inadequate.

          • Alex Hicks

            June 18, 2014 at 13:57

            Ah. Makes perfect sense. Also understandable why this comment thread is appearing in a Kim Kardashian game review.

          • CAE9872

            June 18, 2014 at 13:56

            Glad someone else asked – man I feel old…

        • Mossel

          June 18, 2014 at 13:40

          OK but unfortunately awesome novels like Hunger Games also fall under that category.

          Reply

          • Sith JJ

            June 18, 2014 at 13:45

            Haven’t read it or watched the movie. So let me say then…many YA fantasy novels..

          • Mossel

            June 18, 2014 at 13:54

            If you like anything with dystopian worlds and totalitarian governments, then you will like Hunger Games.

          • Sith JJ

            June 18, 2014 at 13:55

            I have a book-backlog nearly the size of my Steam Backlog, but I’ll add this to it. Haven’t been reading enough novels lately since I got my hands on a few Star Wars graphic novels.

          • Mossel

            June 18, 2014 at 14:03

            Nice! Yeah just yesterday I went on a rampage and added like 10 novels to my list. I now had to break my list up in two categories! Business/economics books and regular fiction. Started reading 1984 last night, so far so good.

          • Sith JJ

            June 18, 2014 at 14:04

            Oo!
            You have to put “A Splendid Exchange” on your economics/business list.

          • Mossel

            June 18, 2014 at 14:16

            Nice will add it to the list!

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            June 18, 2014 at 14:16

            Only 30 years to go & you’ll be up to date O_o

          • Mossel

            June 18, 2014 at 14:42

            At the pace that I read (like 3 pages per hour) it will take millenia.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            June 18, 2014 at 14:16

            You don’t want to see my book backlog. It makes the Steam one look like a drop in the ocean.

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            June 18, 2014 at 14:15

            Dude, that’s why we have Warhammer 40k books!

          • Mossel

            June 18, 2014 at 14:42

            I actually have no idea what they are about, will have to add it to my list I guess.

      • Kensei Seraph

        June 18, 2014 at 13:19

        • Sith JJ

          June 18, 2014 at 13:20

          Was my first thought too. Best ever.

          Reply

    • psalm fansy

      June 18, 2014 at 13:45

      so amazing is that the reason why kim kardashian is not on world cup as
      they say

      Reply

  3. Kromas

    June 18, 2014 at 13:11

    Okay I am done for the rest of the week. If you need me ill be crying in my shower.

    Reply

    • Sith JJ

      June 18, 2014 at 13:12

      I wanted to pat you on the back, but that would mean I’d have to be in the shower with you. Sorry, but you’re going to be crying by yourself.

      Reply

      • Kromas

        June 18, 2014 at 13:15

        Are YOU telling ME that I cannot afford you? If so then yeah I guess you are too expensive. 😛

        Reply

  4. Kensei Seraph

    June 18, 2014 at 13:14

    Right now I’m glad I have no YouTube.

    Reply

  5. Rags

    June 18, 2014 at 13:15

    All the feminazis asking for a female character. Well, there you go. 😀

    Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      June 18, 2014 at 13:16

      lol

      Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      June 18, 2014 at 13:17

      I’m pretty sure once they stop throwing up they’ll start cheering.

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        June 18, 2014 at 13:18

        XD

        Reply

    • HvR - THE Average GAmer

      June 18, 2014 at 13:25

      Bet this is making Geoff very happy.

      Reply

    • oVg FX

      June 18, 2014 at 15:02

      Her boobs are toooo big. ITS SEXIST. 😛

      Reply

    • Rince&exhale

      June 18, 2014 at 15:08

      lulz she’s about as female as toast is a diamond.

      Reply

  6. Hammersteyn

    June 18, 2014 at 13:15

    • Kensei Seraph

      June 18, 2014 at 13:18

      Why punish yourself because of the stupidity of others?
      Rather give that PC to someone less fortunate. Just remember to format first.

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        June 18, 2014 at 13:20

        Nothing can format/remove her from anything…

        Reply

  7. Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

    June 18, 2014 at 13:18

    Shut up you dirty peasants, this is THE GAME OF THE YEAR!!!

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      June 18, 2014 at 13:20

      Do you want to get downvoted?

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        June 18, 2014 at 13:30

        I think it’s bull they show the amount of upvotes but not downvotes

        Reply

        • Kensei Seraph

          June 18, 2014 at 13:31

          They don’t show the number of downvotes?

          Well I learnt something new today so it wasn’t a total waste.

          Reply

          • Hammersteyn

            June 18, 2014 at 13:42

            Yup, new policy from Diqus

    • Sith JJ

      June 18, 2014 at 13:21

      A year that passed already, in a parallel universe?

      Reply

      • Kensei Seraph

        June 18, 2014 at 13:23

        Theoretically Hell is a parallel universe.

        Reply

    • Dutch Matrix

      June 18, 2014 at 14:03

      Hmmmm. I can play at being Batman or I can play at being Kim Kardashian. Batman or Kim. Batman or Kim. Batman or Kim… WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT??????

      Reply

      • Kensei Seraph

        June 18, 2014 at 14:17

        I have bad news for you.
        You have been diagnosed with a large tumour located in your frontal lobe.
        It is severely affecting your judgement and will kill you within 12 days.
        You will never get to play Batman.

        Reply

    • Sk3tz0

      June 18, 2014 at 15:41

      THE GAME OF THE YEAR IT ALL WENT TO SHIT maybe..

      Reply

  8. HvR - THE Average GAmer

    June 18, 2014 at 13:33

    O Zoe stop trolling us. Everybody knows that Kim Kardashian starred in a lot of games and that there is couple of games being branded just for her including a couple of mobile games, a MMORPG and even console Lego games.

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      June 18, 2014 at 13:41

      Bwahahaha

      Reply

  9. Mossel

    June 18, 2014 at 13:38

    If I see someone playing this in thet street I will slap their phone or tablet out of their hands and burn it.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

      June 18, 2014 at 13:45

      Heh, co-op tonight then rather?

      Reply

      • Mossel

        June 18, 2014 at 13:50

        lol yeah need to get some pew pew action before I lose my shit!

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

          June 18, 2014 at 14:03

          Cool, I’ll fly

          Reply

      • Sith JJ

        June 18, 2014 at 13:53

        What co-op?

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

          June 18, 2014 at 14:03

          Feeling left out there JJ? YOU HAVE HOMEWORK!!!

          Reply

          • Sith JJ

            June 18, 2014 at 14:05

            I do. Don’t think I can finish it in one night though. Think it’s still long.

          • Admiral Chief Cyber Commando

            June 18, 2014 at 14:05

            You are half way, DO IT MAN!!!!

          • Sith JJ

            June 18, 2014 at 14:07

            Oh wow. Okay.

    • Sith JJ

      June 18, 2014 at 13:46

      Poor phone man. Burn the person. 😉

      Reply

      • Mossel

        June 18, 2014 at 13:51

        Burn the phone. Burn the person before it lays eggs. And burn anything he/she was in contact with in the last 24 hours. It’s for the greater good.

        Reply

        • Sith JJ

          June 18, 2014 at 13:53

          For the greater good!!

          Reply

          • Kensei Seraph

            June 18, 2014 at 13:54

            Peace through POWER!

          • Sith JJ

            June 18, 2014 at 13:54

            For the Brotherhood of Nod!

          • Dutch Matrix

            June 18, 2014 at 13:58

            For Ole Yellar…

  10. Sway

    June 18, 2014 at 13:39

    I have the urge to shove a glowing soldering iron up her crack…

    Reply

  11. Rock789

    June 18, 2014 at 13:42

    Oh cr@p… Now they gone and done it…

    **looks out window to see first meteorite strike the Earth**

    Reply

    • oVg FX

      June 18, 2014 at 15:00

      Kim’s ass will deflect it ;P

      Reply

    • Rince&exhale

      June 18, 2014 at 15:05

      Let it be!

      Reply

  12. psalm fansy

    June 18, 2014 at 13:43

    I now know why kim kardashian is not in #world cup simply cause is game is bad @what I thinker.

    Reply

  13. Dutch Matrix

    June 18, 2014 at 13:53

    Why is the dude in the header image Lobster Red? Did he realize he is in a Kim Kardashian game and was embarrassed to be caught on camera, so to speak. This game is so bad, even the sprites blush when they are seen in it…

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      June 18, 2014 at 13:53

      Spray-on-tan accident.

      Reply

      • Dutch Matrix

        June 18, 2014 at 13:57

        No. Spray on tan accident is coming to school looking like a moose shat on your face and he was gracious enough to leave your eyes alone.
        This happened to a friend of mine…

        Reply

    • Sith JJ

      June 18, 2014 at 13:57

      woop woop woop woop woop woop!! (why not Zoidberg?)

      Reply

      • Dutch Matrix

        June 18, 2014 at 14:00

        Even Zoidberg has his standards. And that is Doctor Zoidberg to you…

        Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      June 18, 2014 at 14:24

      Tan can, probably a member from Jersey Shore

      Reply

  14. Sageville

    June 18, 2014 at 13:59

    Sorry, but people who are famous, soley for being famous (i.e. not famous for achievements) need to be rounded up and put on an Island far far away, where they can play Survivor for the rest of their lives. Maybe even throw in some Hunger Games flava…. They should really be removed from society for the betterment of mankind.

    Reply

    • Dutch Matrix

      June 18, 2014 at 14:01

      But she posed naked for Playboy, didn’t she? Sure she brings being moronic down to a new level of low, but but Playboy…

      Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      June 18, 2014 at 14:02

      They tried doing something similiar in Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
      The result was the birth of the human race and the extinction of the other species.

      These things never end well.

      Reply

    • Tarisma

      June 18, 2014 at 14:04

      I used to think that then I realised that the fame whores actually do have a purpose they distract the reality TV watching retards and keep them busy, that way they don’t try involve themselves in actual things that matter and potentially fuck them up.

      Reply

      • Sageville

        June 18, 2014 at 14:42

        well in all fairness, I did enjoy that “One night in Paris” movie that Paris Hilton made… one redeeming quality..

        Reply

  15. Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

    June 18, 2014 at 14:23

    She made a game????

    Ok that’s it. I quit gaming

    *rage quits*

    Reply

  16. Consumer of Little Rabbits

    June 18, 2014 at 14:50

    That guy in the header is pinker than Majin Boo. This irks me

    Reply

  17. Ghullam Murtaza Chandio

    June 18, 2014 at 14:56

    SO NIce

    Reply

  18. Rince&exhale

    June 18, 2014 at 15:07

    It’s seeing stuff like this that makes me realize the cockroaches are the superior species. I suppose there’ll be a DLC with a topless Crapdashian on a motorbike.

    Reply

  19. Purple_Dragon

    June 18, 2014 at 15:19

    Wonder if there will be a hot coffee mod hehe.

    Reply

  20. CaptainNemo42

    June 18, 2014 at 15:29

    There is a Kim Kardashian game?

    Reply

  21. Sk3tz0

    June 18, 2014 at 15:39

    WHY! WHY! what Video game Developer hates Video games so much that he’d even consider to create a game based on that Wentch..

    Reply

  22. wmstudio

    June 18, 2014 at 16:18

    Love is a game.Easy to start,hard to finish.Big Cube is a game. App store: http://goo.gl/jDT90Y https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrLFQ8NESJY

    Reply

  23. derp

    June 18, 2014 at 16:48

    This game is just asking to be raided by 4chan…

    Reply

  24. Darren Peach

    June 18, 2014 at 17:49

    This is beyond the realm of stoopid. I say “stoopid” because anything that relates to people being famous for being famous and sex tapes is stoopid. I think that the people who thought this was a good Idea are stoopid. I am ashamed of humanity for allowing this stoopid thing masquerading as a so-called “game” come out. Anyone who pays money for this is stoopid. I feel my IQ lowering with each word I type because this is so friggen……….stooooooooooooopiiiidfsfsfjthatatatatatatatata FUCK.

    Reply

  25. Maggie

    June 18, 2014 at 20:18

    “L.O.L.” THE MOVIE
    http://www.scribd.com/doc/226993600/L-O-L

    DOWNLOAD THE SCRIPT FOR FREE

    JEANI
    Some of the best relationships in history were based on a lie.
    LEONA
    Name one.
    JEANI
    Kim Kardashian and Kanye West! Do you think Kim Kardashian told Kanye West she’s had more rappers inside her than The Source Awards? Uh no! She told him she was with that dude in the video and 7 or 8 linebackers and that was it. She lied, but guess what, they’re still together. Do you think that your better than Kim and Kanye? ..-

    Reply

  26. Tauriq Moosa

    June 19, 2014 at 10:21

    >> if Geoff were their editor he would take away their exclamation marks”

    If I were Geoff’s editor, I’d have given up my career for a life of monastic isolation.

    Reply

  27. Lukas De Kock

    June 19, 2014 at 14:00

    Sad part is her game will rake in more than deserving titles.

    Reply

  28. Anon

    June 26, 2014 at 15:29

    Your a dick,
    This game is another franchise under the game called STARDOM: HOLLYWOOD, They only asked Kim Kardashian to host as the main character, in actual fact the actual game is just another copy of A-List and Hollywood. Get your facts straight, if you never played the Glu Games franchises.

    Reply

  29. Eternal Overlord

    July 7, 2014 at 13:25

    Tbh the game isn’t too bad XD I’m just saying! I like it.

    Reply

  30. Silviana MM

    July 19, 2014 at 03:25

    KIM Kardashian HOLLYWOOD HACK

    Generate free Stars, Cash, energy + clothes

    http://bit.ly/VSWkCt

    The hack worked fine for me.

    ENjoy it!

    Reply

  31. Robert Boyd

    September 5, 2014 at 18:37

    for the greater good of mankind will someone please put a bullet in the head of all these worthless whores?death to the kardashians.they are setting back the evolution of the human race

    Reply

  32. robert

    October 14, 2014 at 16:25

    For the greater good of mankind will someone put a end to these worthless skanks?does nobody have the decenct to do the right thing and put a bullet in their worthless brains?do society a favor kardashians,drop dead!!the world would be a better place without you.

    Reply

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