Home Gaming The PlayStation 5 is rumoured to be one chunky-sized console

The PlayStation 5 is rumoured to be one chunky-sized console

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PS5-Thicc

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: We’ve had some of the sexiest consoles released over the last decade of gaming. Out of all of them, the base model PlayStation has been my absolute favourite. It has sharp lines, its edges are punctuated by a fusion of glossy and matte blacks, and seven years after I got mine it still looks wonderfully modern.

I’m not that big a fan of the current PS4 models, which resemble layer cakes more than consoles, which is why I’m hoping that the PlayStation 5 has gone back to the drawing board for its overall design. I’m well aware that what’s inside of it is what truly matters, but let’s be honest here: Sex sells, and having a sexy console is going to lead to some massive silly season sales.

Here’s an interesting rumour that’s worth not only a pinch of salt but also pondering. Russian website Game Mag claims that their inside source has given them an inside scoop into what the PS5 design will look like. While they haven’t seen the console themselves, Game Mag claims that it’ll be similar to current PlayStation designs (Dammit), in that it’s a square set-top box with rounded edges. A stark contrast to the Xbox Series which functions as a mini PC tower in the looks department, the other interesting detail here is that the PS5 is going to be thicc.

Reported to be twice the thickness of the PS4 Pro, that would make the PS5 be a chonky boy that is roughly 110mm thick. I decided to do some proper measuring, and after some proper number-crunching using cutting edge Critical Hit tools, I’ve determined that the PS5 will be roughly six and a half Kit Kat Chunky’s thick. No really, the maths works out:

Kit Kat measuring

That’s a lot of chocolate! This week’s PlayStation 5 event has been postponed due to the ongoing protests in the US of A, although it’ll most likely be rescheduled sooner rather than later. In case you missed it, here’s a breakdown on the hardware that will power the PS5, which is curiously devoid of any AMD Kit Kat parts:

  • CPU: AMD Zen 2-based CPU with 8 cores at 3.5GHz (variable frequency)
  • GPU: 10.28 TFLOPs, 36 CUs at 2.23GHz (variable frequency)
  • GPU architecture: Custom RDNA 2
  • Memory interface: 16GB GDDR6 / 256-bit
  • Memory bandwidth: 448GB/s
  • Internal storage: Custom 825GB SSD
  • IO throughput: 5.5GB/s (raw), typical 8-9GB/s (compressed)
  • Expandable storage: NVMe SSD slot
  • External storage: USB HDD support (PS4 games only)
  • Optical drive: 4K UHD Blu-ray drive

C’mon, not even a Tex bar in the system storage? Lame.

Last Updated: June 2, 2020

13 Comments

  1. Large Chunk of that is the price me thinks.

    Reply

  2. Iskape

    June 2, 2020 at 14:28

    Well, they’ll simply be playing in the same field as MS with their chunky console. But then, we’re going to have to wait and see unfortunately.

    Reply

  3. David Scott Duncan

    June 2, 2020 at 14:35

    So it won’t be very ‘Aero’dynamic?

    Reply

    • The D

      June 2, 2020 at 14:35

      Ha! I wish I could tell you, but all those measuring sticks mysteriously vanished. Burp.

      Reply

      • Pariah

        June 2, 2020 at 15:20

        Soon you’re going to be a chunky boi. XD

        Reply

      • Original Heretic

        June 2, 2020 at 14:55

        Sies! Even my 5 year old knows to say “excuse me” after a burp.

        Reply

        • The D

          June 2, 2020 at 16:28

          Well excuse you then.

          Reply

  4. Jonah Cash

    June 2, 2020 at 17:35

    I don’t care how it looks. I just want one now!

    Reply

  5. Iskape

    June 2, 2020 at 14:28

    Well, they’ll simply be playing in the same field as MS with their chunky console. But then, we’re going to have to wait and see unfortunately.

    Reply

  6. HairyEwok

    June 2, 2020 at 16:20

    Oh she be thicc… I foresee plenty of thicc gf’s being replaced by thicc PS5’s.

    Reply

    • schitsophrenic-toothbrush

      June 2, 2020 at 16:29

      I have no issue with chonk, they just need to sort out the heating issue. I still have the original console and boy is she loud!

      Saving up for the PS5 and would like to buy on release but I might just hold back until Sony sorts out initial manufacturing issues

      Reply

    • schitsophrenic-toothbrush

      June 2, 2020 at 16:29

      I have no issue with chonk, they just need to sort out the heating issue. I still have the original console and boy is she loud!

      Saving up for the PS5 and would like to buy on release but I might just hold back until Sony sorts out initial manufacturing issues

      Reply

      • Incubus

        June 3, 2020 at 15:32

        Even a couple hours of FFXIV gets her moaning.

        Reply

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