There’s nothing scary about The Evil Within

2 min read
14

Really? A horror video game? Ooh, look at all that blood, jump scares and supposed psychological torture. I’ve seen scarier stuff in Geoff’s toilet after a night out at various Mexican themed restaurants. This twaddle can’t scare me. So nice try The Evil Within, but I’m not buying any of your horror at all. Go on, do your worst, show me what ya got, it’s just a flesh wound…

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!

I take back everything I said in the opening paragraph then. We’re busy drawing straws in the office, to see who the unlucky bugger is that has to review this game. Thanks to the fact that most of us possess yellow bellies, jelly livers and are spineless, this might be the game that finally breaks the Lazygamer staff. Also, Gavin is exempt from awarding us any hazard pay, thanks to a well-worded contract.

Read  Believe it or not, Just Cause 4 actually has a story to go with all of its explosions

The Evil Within will be ruining your best pair of pants on October 14. I’m going to go pour myself a tall glass of nope.

Last Updated: September 17, 2014

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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