Home Gaming Win an Assassin’s Creed Unity Phantom blade!

Win an Assassin’s Creed Unity Phantom blade!

2 min read
184

Phantomblade1

When it was launched, Assassin’s Creed Unity was a bit of a broken mess. Though a visual marvel, it suffered from a wealth of issues that caused the game to be worse than it should have been. To make up for that, Ubisoft’s giving away the game’s first bit of DLC, Dead Kings, free to all of those who’ve played Unity. Yes, it comes with a host of problems of its own, but it fixes many of Unity’s design issues. Developed by Ubisoft Montpellier, the folks behind Rayman Origins and Legends, Valiant Hearts,  and the criminally underrated ZombiU, it’s a slightly different take on Assassin’s Creed. One of its selling points though, is the rather silly guillotine gun.

phantomblade2

Like Gears of War’s ridiculous lancer, which is a chainsaw duct-taped to an assault rifle, Assassin’s Creed Unity’s Guillotine Gun is a mortar gun strapped to an axe. It’s all quite silly, and in that spirit, that’s how you’ll be in the running to win a genuine, functional Assassin’s Creed phantom blade of your very own. All you need to do is tell us in the comments what sort of silly hybrid gun you’d like to see next in a game – and how it would work. We’ll be carefully selecting the winner based on how clever, silly or hilarious the answer is, and giving random.org a skip this time. Here’s another look at the Dead Kings DLC.

I…I actually liked Assassin’s Creed Unity. I did, however, only play it after most of the nonsense was patched out. It’s one of the best looking games on the new consoles, and the co-op is some of the best multiplayer fun I’ve had in ages. If you’re willing to overlook some of the game’s design flaws, and the severe open-world bloat, there are indeed good times to be had in Unity’s digital Paris.

Please note that this competition is only open to those who reside within South Africa’s borders. We’ll select a winner on Monday 19 Jan in the afternoon, giving you a weekend to think of the craziest, silliest, or downright coolest hybrid weapons you can.

Last Updated: January 15, 2015

184 Comments

  1. Quo Vadis?

    January 15, 2015 at 09:03

    Raptor Rants a Lot FTW! This time 😀
    I have faith in you, buddy ;P

    Reply

  2. Mandom (Umar)

    January 15, 2015 at 09:06

    Why should you be scared to say that though? Ubisoft was really shady though, and yes AC was a broken mess…but really, everyone just jumped on the bandwagon of hate against Ubi (though I understand why), yet they had a pretty good year imo. Valiant Hearts, Child of Light, Far Cry 4, and WD wasn’t even a bad game (just overhyped), AC Rogue….Maybe it was because it was their first next gen only game, who knows. I’m willing to give them a chance though, I don’t condone broken games but I strongly dislike the hate and toxic that followed.

    Reply

    • ToshZA

      January 15, 2015 at 09:14

      Agreed. I’m not against Ubi at all – 2 of my favourite games last year were made by them. Their Uplay system is crappy, and releasing games broken isn’t right, but they’re not the only company to do so – but they at least fix the issues in decent time. Unlike certain Battlefields, where the injuries are almost fatal, but those troopers keep marching.

      Reply

      • Mandom (Umar)

        January 15, 2015 at 09:17

        Yeah, they’re in NOOOOOOOOOOO way perfect and they have been a bit shitty last year, but dayum, the hate was immense. It’s like all the good they did was instantly gone.

        Reply

        • ToshZA

          January 15, 2015 at 09:20

          That’s people for you though – you can do amazing things for 20 years, but one fuck up and all that goodwill is gone. People love to hate, love to focus on the bad. It’s always been there, but now with the internet it’s not just your friends or colleagues doing it, it’s 10000 angry gamer nerds with nothing better to do with their time.

          Reply

          • Mandom (Umar)

            January 15, 2015 at 09:22

            Lol 100% . Brought together by hate…It’s all the rage these days,literally 😛

  3. HairyEwok

    January 15, 2015 at 09:08

    I don’t want this. I’m scared it’s just as broken as the games and ends up decapitating my hand.

    Reply

    • Quo Vadis?

      January 15, 2015 at 09:23

      don’t you mean “amputate”? 😉

      Reply

      • HairyEwok

        January 15, 2015 at 09:24

        Either way there won’t be a patch to fix my hand.

        Reply

        • Quo Vadis?

          January 15, 2015 at 09:30

          Not downloadable anyway 😉

          Reply

          • HairyEwok

            January 15, 2015 at 09:33

            I’m not even going to bother calling Ubi support…. Ubisoft support centre how may I help you. YOU CAN START OF BY GIVING ME A NEW HAND. We’re sorry Ubisoft cannot be held liable for any dismemberment of any body part, would you like a free DLC instead?

          • Quo Vadis?

            January 15, 2015 at 09:40

            only a 60 Tb patch! What a deal!

        • loftie

          January 15, 2015 at 09:38

          you can always buy hand dlc

          Reply

  4. Admiral Chief

    January 15, 2015 at 09:14

    This is the coolest prize ever!

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 15, 2015 at 09:22

      Hopefully it works better than the game…

      Reply

  5. Admiral Chief

    January 15, 2015 at 09:15

    Sloeshgun, dit skiet slap kak om ‘n hoek

    Reply

  6. Admiral Chief

    January 15, 2015 at 09:15

    The RaptorBlade, it has 7 edges

    Reply

  7. Capt. Bob of the Blood Ravens

    January 15, 2015 at 09:15

    A frozen chicken launcher. Saw one on Mythbusters and I’m pretty sure you could use one to take someone’s head off. How it works? Take a frozen chicken and put it in a tube connected to some sort of compressed gas release mechanism. Pull trigger and watch the madness unfold MWHAHAHAHAHA

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 15, 2015 at 09:16

      That thing was majestic!

      Reply

    • HairyEwok

      January 15, 2015 at 09:17

      It was even lethal to planes… Talk about kamikaze.

      Reply

    • BEANIBIL1TY

      January 15, 2015 at 09:18

      reminds me of the GOW 3 thanks giving event

      Reply

  8. Admiral Chief

    January 15, 2015 at 09:16

    The airburst fart grenade launcher

    Reply

  9. Admiral Chief

    January 15, 2015 at 09:17

    Double barreled banana launcher (sorry Jim)

    Reply

  10. ToshZA

    January 15, 2015 at 09:17

    I have to put this out there, because I’ve always dreamed of this:

    Weaponised cats. That’s right, Tie a rope to a cat, ruffle it up, strap it onto a launcher, and set that cute fluffy ball of death a meowing all over that #%^le’s face. And arms. And legs. And if he survives, rope your fluff (death) ball in, and do it again.

    Reply

  11. Admiral Chief

    January 15, 2015 at 09:18

    Portable loo trebuchet

    Reply

  12. Albertus van Rensburg

    January 15, 2015 at 09:18

    The Spear of Destiny’s Insult: A spear that shoots out thoughts from all your ancestors which insults and depresses the enemy to death from the interdimentional past in their subconscious. It will be a mission specific weapon where you have to assassinate a room filled with high ranking officials in the government by shooting them in their frontal lobes from and insane distance with the “Insult Ray”… just a thought though.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 15, 2015 at 09:19

      Sort of like the Point of View gun?

      Reply

    • Mandom (Umar)

      January 15, 2015 at 09:20

      I actually thought it was a spear that shoots out insults about Destiny..

      Reply

      • Albertus van Rensburg

        January 15, 2015 at 09:24

        Or it could be the player’s destiny to shoot insults at enemies with the spear. So many applications so literally endless…

        Reply

    • ToshZA

      January 15, 2015 at 09:21

  13. Hammersteyn

    January 15, 2015 at 09:21

    Shoulder mounted canon that fires flaiming honey badgers infected with ebola!

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 15, 2015 at 09:26

      NICE

      Reply

    • HairyEwok

      January 15, 2015 at 09:27

      This could be a Far Cry 4 DLC.

      Reply

  14. Hammersteyn

    January 15, 2015 at 09:23

    More a digital weapon. A virus actually. It runs around the internet and install Uplay on all PCs that doesn’t have it yet

    Reply

  15. Mandom (Umar)

    January 15, 2015 at 09:25

    The Jacob Zuma 3000. A gun that shoots beams that instantly diverts the enemy’s attention from you. When equipped also improves the Gold drop rate by 200%

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 15, 2015 at 09:25

      With a shower head barrel?

      Reply

      • Mandom (Umar)

        January 15, 2015 at 09:26

        When fired on your self cures all status ailments

        Reply

    • HairyEwok

      January 15, 2015 at 09:26

      Call it the J-Uzi 3000 XD

      Reply

      • Mandom (Umar)

        January 15, 2015 at 09:28

        LOL The J-Uzi 300 and zero

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief

          January 15, 2015 at 09:29

          You forgot the “huehuehue”

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief

            January 15, 2015 at 09:29

            At one point, you can’t believe

    • hubble19

      January 15, 2015 at 09:33

      aaah, you just got there before me! I also wanted to post a zuma gun:-(

      Reply

      • HairyEwok

        January 15, 2015 at 09:34

        You can. Just call it the Bazuuma RPG.

        Reply

        • ToshZA

          January 15, 2015 at 09:35

          Where he plunders the sheep for their uh… Wool?

          Reply

      • hubble19

        January 15, 2015 at 09:35

        Here was mine anyway: Zumagun. It shoots Zuma-faced ping-pong balls that goes he-heh-heh and corrupts your inventory. Not deadly, but the unfortunate victim also
        grows a showerhead and is forced to have 5 huge screaming wives and 200 children.

        Reply

  16. Hammersteyn

    January 15, 2015 at 09:27

    A doomsday bomb. The Malema Machina. It defies all logic and divides by zero.

    Reply

  17. Michelle

    January 15, 2015 at 09:29

    E5kom-Blackout Ray :
    Send your foes into a black hole of utter darkness and despair.

    😉

    Reply

    • HairyEwok

      January 15, 2015 at 09:38

      I want one. I’ll call him Darkie, and ill love him and cuddle him and FEED HIM THE SOULS OF MY ENEMIES!

      Reply

  18. Admiral Chief

    January 15, 2015 at 09:29

    The moemfie gun. Shoots a little critter that hides in your navel, waits until you are asleep, then climbs out and while standing on your schlong, barks at your balls

    Reply

  19. Hammersteyn

    January 15, 2015 at 09:30

    Doesn’t explode but flattens any target
    http://i.imgur.com/jIAwyWN.jpg

    Reply

    • ToshZA

      January 15, 2015 at 09:33

      Should be illegal in 7 states by now, with the murder and accidental death rate increasing almost daily.

      Reply

      • HairyEwok

        January 15, 2015 at 09:38

        death by placing foreign objects into it’s ports while watching porn?

        Reply

      • Admiral Chief

        January 15, 2015 at 09:39

        7 states….is this some sort of Llew joke?

        Reply

        • ToshZA

          January 15, 2015 at 09:41

          Not intentionally, but it has been used to death, which kind of fits.

          Reply

        • HairyEwok

          January 15, 2015 at 09:52

          The number 7 again. Poor mister Raptor. So much feels for him.

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief

            January 15, 2015 at 09:55

            I even get him on Whatsapp for the occasional trolling…

          • HairyEwok

            January 15, 2015 at 10:04

            That’s so cruel…. Hey it’s 7 in the morning have a fantasic day!

    • Captain JJ Saga

      January 15, 2015 at 09:51

      That’s inaccurate, they’d need a truck for the external power brick also.

      Reply

    • loftie

      January 15, 2015 at 11:55

      its missing the all seeing kinect eye

      Reply

  20. Christiaan Joubert

    January 15, 2015 at 09:32

    What if you crossed gears of war, with halo and call of duty!

    You’d get a lazer shot gun with a long range sniper scope…
    Because f*** logic 😀

    Reply

    • loftie

      January 15, 2015 at 11:55

      you can already get that in borderlands 😛

      Reply

  21. Anon A Mouse

    January 15, 2015 at 09:32

    The SA consumer gun. Dildo gun with KY Jelly attachment.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 15, 2015 at 09:33

      Please, be serious, there is not even lube for the SA consumer

      Reply

      • Anon A Mouse

        January 15, 2015 at 09:35

        What can I say, I’m a killer with a kind heart.

        Reply

  22. Jonah Cash

    January 15, 2015 at 09:32

    I want one of these!!! A hybrid revolver shotgun!! Give me the fire power of Fate Bringer and add a few extra barrels to this image and I would rule the Iron Banner in Destiny!!!

    Reply

  23. Quo Vadis?

    January 15, 2015 at 09:33

    The anc government. It will attack a working system, then cause chaos, corruption, bankruptcy and then a total collapse. They will then blame the victims for it XD

    Reply

    • ToshZA

      January 15, 2015 at 09:33

      I’d hardly call Apartheid a “working” system. What they’ve done since then is exactly nothing but plunder, but they didn’t have something awesome to start with.

      Reply

      • Quo Vadis?

        January 15, 2015 at 09:34

        Not referring to Apartheid, I am referring to Capitalism and a free market system 😉

        Reply

        • ToshZA

          January 15, 2015 at 09:36

          Capitalism is the problem with the world today. Sadly, that’s not ANC. That’s AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!!!

          Reply

          • Quo Vadis?

            January 15, 2015 at 09:37

            Nah, sorry boet. Capitalism, although flawed, works. But to each his own 🙂

          • ToshZA

            January 15, 2015 at 09:38

            Works only for the greedy and selfish. Poverty only gets worse in a world fueled and run by greed. AKA: Capitalism.

          • Quo Vadis?

            January 15, 2015 at 09:42

            I disagree, but lets leave conversations like that off of a gaming discussion site. Why discuss serious matters like that when Raptor Rants a Lot and cabbages are here? 🙂

          • ToshZA

            January 15, 2015 at 09:43

            Good point 😉

            Besides, I’m sure I have 7 more comments to place somewhere.

          • Quo Vadis?

            January 15, 2015 at 09:43

            Bwahahahahahaha!

          • Admiral Chief

            January 15, 2015 at 09:49

            That joke, as well as the HAI one, just never gets old

      • Admiral Chief

        January 15, 2015 at 09:35

        The infrastructure they “inherited” was at least proper. They cocked that up in less than 10 years

        Reply

  24. RinceThis

    January 15, 2015 at 09:33

    Oh shame, someone is going to be 7th again… Better than being the Seventh Son though, what a kak movie…

    Reply

    • loftie

      January 15, 2015 at 11:53

      i thought that movie was cancelled..

      Reply

  25. Anon A Mouse

    January 15, 2015 at 09:34

    As a side note and totally off topic. But AssCreed did have Black Flag, so relevant as well. Anyone seen Raven’s Cry’s screenshots. Looks good. I hope it kicks ass. I need a good pirate game.

    Reply

  26. Lord Chaos

    January 15, 2015 at 09:34

    The Geoff-enator, Virus running through the internet randomly adding/removing zeroes whenever it encounters numbers.

    Reply

  27. Jonah Cash

    January 15, 2015 at 09:35

    So happy that I can use this image again!!! Give one of these!!

    Reply

  28. RinceThis

    January 15, 2015 at 09:35

    I’d like to see a gun that fires hipsters at hipsters thus turning them into normal cabbages.

    Reply

  29. Rock789

    January 15, 2015 at 09:35

    The Five-Ball Elite gun – a five barreled rocket launcher, similar to the one from Unreal, but at the press of a button an Elite energy sword materializes for those “close encounters”.

    P.S. Could work just as well being a 5 barreled revolver, etc. But screw that!! I gotta get me more rockets!

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 15, 2015 at 09:36

      What about it SHOOTING SWORDS!

      Reply

      • Rock789

        January 15, 2015 at 09:53

        Oooo… That could work! Pinning them to the wall, mwahahahahahaha… **cough** Sorry… Got a little carried away. 😉 🙂

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief

          January 15, 2015 at 09:55

          Like that spike gun in FEAR 1, man, I loved that thing

          Reply

          • Rock789

            January 15, 2015 at 09:55

            That was an EPIC weapon!! Loved that gun.

          • Admiral Chief

            January 15, 2015 at 09:58

            LOL, I remember pinning some dudes to the wall, then going back to check for ammo or something, then coming again and shooting the same dude again, thinking he was alive!

  30. Martin du preez (D4RKL1NGza)

    January 15, 2015 at 09:37

    The Bible Pistol: A VERY powerful weapon, Effective on sending demons, changelings, satanists,Julius Malema nazis and zombies to Hell in a microsecond, and can give salvation to the damned.

    Reply

    • ToshZA

      January 15, 2015 at 09:37

      Also, fictional.

      Reply

  31. Admiral Chief

    January 15, 2015 at 09:37

    A gun that shoots these:
    (refresh)

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      January 15, 2015 at 09:49

      You are a sick sick individual.
      http://i.imgur.com/pCqk3L0.gif

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief

        January 15, 2015 at 09:50

        Huehuehue

        Reply

    • Anon A Mouse

      January 15, 2015 at 09:51

      [Insert awful Homegrown Hottie ION], with this attachment for splash damage.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief

        January 15, 2015 at 09:56

        • Anon A Mouse

          January 15, 2015 at 09:57

          Oh for the love of all things sane. Why? WHY?

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief

            January 15, 2015 at 09:58

            Imagine if that one and the first image I posted, had some sort of “love” child…..

          • Anon A Mouse

            January 15, 2015 at 10:00

            I’d rather not.

          • Kensei Seraph

            January 15, 2015 at 10:03

            OH GOD WHY!!!
            Downvoted.

    • Jaded_Reprobate

      January 15, 2015 at 10:16

      When will you people learn????

      Pure evil of this magnitude can never truly be defeated

      Reply

  32. loftie

    January 15, 2015 at 09:38

    lightsabre based gauntlets/gloves, for punching stuff, any type of stuff. Can also block/deflect any type of stuff. Activation/safety switch would be in the palm, reachable with thumb. Lightsabre crystals and focusing lens on each knuckle. Focusing lens is shaped so as to make lightsabre form a half bubble around the front of the glove. Focusing lens can also be set to form wolverine type lightsabre claws for certain situations.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 15, 2015 at 09:51

      I like it, and the gloves are built from cortosis.

      Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      January 15, 2015 at 09:51

      Punching with the thumb inside your fist is an excellent way to break your thumb and get you out of the fight quickly.

      Reply

      • loftie

        January 15, 2015 at 09:53

        obviously you must not keep the thumb in while punching, only to turn it on. 🙂

        Reply

  33. PsyChoPanthis

    January 15, 2015 at 09:38

    Seeing as I can no longer take the AC series seriously, my gun would have to be a banana launcher. And it will be called Slippy-Squishy-Bang-Bang, this may be a TL;DR but it will be worth it 😀
    Why, you may ask? Well, come closer and I shall tell you!
    Imagine a busy street, plenty of benches to sit on that make you NEAR INVISIBLE to anyone looking DIRECTLY at you. Your target is one street over. You stand from your bench of +100 invisibility and merge into a crowd of people who just so happen to be walking in the direction you need them to go. (Yet none of them wonder who this weirdo is who just butted in on their convo while walking to the nearest market)
    You close in on the target, separate yourself from the crowd and approach, all stealthy like… in plain sight during broad daylight.
    You reach into your cloak and draw the SSBB, you then grab your target’s shoulder, whip him back and shove the SSBB into his eye socket and pull the trigger.
    Chaos ensues! You make a dash to escape, dropping the spent magazine (banana peel doesnt sound as cool) behind you as the target’s companions pursue you. One of them slips on the spent SSBB magazine and crashed into the other. They recover and run around the corner, confused as to where you are… walking right passed a bench, not seeing the smirk on your invisible face.

    Your target lying in the street looking all like:

    Reply

  34. Admiral Chief

    January 15, 2015 at 09:38

    Napalm revolver

    Reply

  35. Hammersteyn

    January 15, 2015 at 09:39

    Your mom

    Reply

    • Anon A Mouse

      January 15, 2015 at 09:49

      That’s a COD weapon.

      Reply

  36. Lord Chaos

    January 15, 2015 at 09:42

    The Jericho missile from Iron Man, but it rains down fluffy marshmallows.

    Reply

  37. Martin du preez (D4RKL1NGza)

    January 15, 2015 at 09:48

    EXPLODING TREE:
    Just when you think you’ve got a perfect place to hide… KA-BLOOMIIEEE!!! Nature’s “best friend” just exploded in your face. This weapon is also perfect for getting rid of those hippy tree huggers, as well as any squirrels you may encounter.

    Reply

  38. Captain JJ Saga

    January 15, 2015 at 09:51

    What about a weapon that shoots your removable wooden fist at people before retracting it?

    Reply

  39. Lardus-Resident Perve

    January 15, 2015 at 09:52

    A coin shooter…so you can shoot coins into the guards face and have the peasants storm him…

    Reply

  40. Xcalibersa

    January 15, 2015 at 09:52

    Elastic band gun

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 15, 2015 at 09:57

      Awwwww jisss, I loved those. Had a black plastic one as a kid, with these “steps” at the rear, you could mount multiple elastic bands on them, for moar shots!

      Reply

      • Xcalibersa

        January 15, 2015 at 10:32

        Wish I could buy this

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief

          January 15, 2015 at 10:40

          Surely it should still be on sale? Or what do the kids play with these days?

          Reply

    • HairyEwok

      January 15, 2015 at 09:58

      Elasgattling Gun… Reloading speed, 2 days and still counting XD

      Reply

      • Xcalibersa

        January 15, 2015 at 10:31

        Not if you level up

        Reply

  41. Captain JJ Saga

    January 15, 2015 at 09:53

    I actually think a weapon that mimics Scorpion from MK’s weapon would be pretty damn cool.
    “You ruffian! Come hither!”

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 15, 2015 at 09:57

      What about a gun like that, but once “retrieved” it pulls you into a face-grinder?

      Reply

  42. hubble19

    January 15, 2015 at 09:54

    The BIEBERNATOR. Upon being shot you turn into a perfect replica of Bieber. At this point many things can happen…all of them bad.(Imagine hysterical fangirls. Or hysterical old men who are also very big fans…)
    The safest thing you can do is lock yourself up and admire your Calvin Klein undies, cos if you go outside you’ll be sure to crap them full soon enough.

    Reply

  43. Captain JJ Saga

    January 15, 2015 at 09:55

    Wrist mounted Flak Gun.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 15, 2015 at 09:56

      I can dig that

      Reply

  44. Switch_za

    January 15, 2015 at 09:56

    A rubber chicken launcher. It will have a triple-barrel that holds three rubber chickens, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt shoot, and the number of the shooting shall be three. Four shalt thou not shoot, neither shoot thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 15, 2015 at 10:02

      Can the rubber chickens be filled with the following:
      1. energy drink concentrate (causing acute energizer bunny syndrome)
      2. Itching powder (once victim scratches himself raw, then fire barrel #3)
      3. salt/ammonia or some sort of burning liquid over the raw scratch marks

      Reply

      • Switch_za

        January 15, 2015 at 10:20

        Now that would be an interesting weapon indeed. I hope that I never encounter in a game or real life O.o You have an art for death dealing sir!

        Reply

  45. Captain JJ Saga

    January 15, 2015 at 09:59

    Maybe they’ll do a non-lethal wrist mounted weapon like a flip-out baton.

    Reply

  46. Kensei Seraph

    January 15, 2015 at 10:00

    A katana/sniper hybrid with sheath so that Battoujutsu attacks can be used.
    KENSHIN!!!
    http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130820181719/rwby/images/8/88/Adammoonsliceanimation.gif

    Reply

  47. Admiral Chief

    January 15, 2015 at 10:01

    Habanero gun, reduces victims to a milky web making mess

    Reply

  48. Captain JJ Saga

    January 15, 2015 at 10:02

    A web shooter so he can climb buildings and swing around!!!
    Oh…wait…

    Reply

  49. Anon A Mouse

    January 15, 2015 at 10:04

    A Lego gun. Splash damage with lego’s being shot over a wide area for your enemies to unsuspectingly step on.

    Reply

  50. ToshZA

    January 15, 2015 at 10:06

    The Kardashian Kannon.

    After firing, it’ll take a selfie just at the right moment. It won’t be flattering.

    Reply

  51. Bianca

    January 15, 2015 at 10:09

    How about a Toby Maguire crying meme sticker gun? You have to cover their face like a mask to have it be fully effective.

    Reply

  52. Kensei Seraph

    January 15, 2015 at 10:11

    The gif pistol.
    A small, easily concealed pistol that drives anyone that is shot with it mad by forcing them to view an infinite amount of gifs and cuts off all other senses.

    Reply

  53. Nikola

    January 15, 2015 at 10:12

    I love Ubisoft #DRM4life

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      January 15, 2015 at 10:13

      A gun that makes you love Ubisoft…
      There’s something inherently wrong with that idea.

      Reply

      • Nikola

        January 15, 2015 at 10:18

        Hahaha I know very wrong but that’s the only way to get everyone on the DRM train;)

        Reply

  54. Bianca

    January 15, 2015 at 10:12

    Oh! GAMERGATE TWEET GUN! THE NONSENSE WILL KILL YOU.

    Reply

  55. Captain JJ Saga

    January 15, 2015 at 10:13

    The wrist weapon of A-HA.
    It will take on them.
    It will taken them on.
    They’ll be gone.
    In a day or two.

    Reply

    • Anon A Mouse

      January 15, 2015 at 10:16

      A Rick Astley gun:
      Never gonna give you up

      Never gonna let you down

      Never gonna run around and desert you

      Never gonna make you cry

      Never gonna say goodbye

      Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

      Reply

      • Captain JJ Saga

        January 15, 2015 at 10:18

        I wanted to do Rick Astley, but remembered the Rick Astley armour. 🙂

        Reply

        • Anon A Mouse

          January 15, 2015 at 10:25

          The Berlin gun will counter that:

          Turning and returning

          To some secret place inside

          Watching in slow motion

          As you turn around and say

          Take my breath away

          Take my breath away

          Reply

          • Captain JJ Saga

            January 15, 2015 at 10:30

            So much win.

            Master of Puppets gun that influences people to be under your control!

            Come crawling faster
            Obey your master
            Your life burns faster
            Obey your master
            Master!!

          • Admiral Chief

            January 15, 2015 at 10:31

            [cue the epic solo]

      • Brady miaau

        January 15, 2015 at 10:50

        Wow. Age creeping up on me…. ouch… pain….

        On you too, I should imagine. In a suit, Robert Palmer style.

        Reply

        • Anon A Mouse

          January 15, 2015 at 11:12

          Age kicked me in the nadz many a moon ago.

          Reply

  56. ZombieDogma

    January 15, 2015 at 10:17

    I vote for Megatron. He’s a gun AND a robot. They already have a secret advanced race on the planet, transformers in AC are practically canon. Or in Megatron’s case: cannon

    Reply

  57. Stavey

    January 15, 2015 at 10:18

    A rocket launcher combined with an ISP that only provides Edge connectivity. So if the explosions don’t kill you, your slow internet connection will force you to kill yourself.

    Reply

    • Captain JJ Saga

      January 15, 2015 at 10:19

      That’s terrifying.

      Reply

  58. Marius Nell

    January 15, 2015 at 10:19

    Remember those ball bearing suicide vests from the movie Swordfish? pop them in a in a grenade launcher and replace the ball bearings with cal-traps

    Reply

  59. MakeItLegal

    January 15, 2015 at 10:23

    does it work ?

    Reply

    • HairyEwok

      January 15, 2015 at 10:28

      Off course it doesn’t it’s like a figure but for your wrist.

      Reply

      • Exalted Overlord Geoffrey Tim

        January 15, 2015 at 11:01

        The thing is functional. It shoots a soft dart, and the blade pops out.

        Reply

        • HairyEwok

          January 15, 2015 at 11:07

          Wow ok my bad it’s funtional then. I do hope it’s a plastic blade or else my theory on a amputation is confirmed.

          Reply

  60. Wikus Radyn

    January 15, 2015 at 10:29

    A gun that shoots copies of Assassins Creed Unity at people, melting their faces off on impact.

    Reply

    • Captain JJ Saga

      January 15, 2015 at 10:31

      Haha.
      Or even worse…A Uplay gun. The gun doesn’t work but it definitely makes itself noticed.

      Reply

  61. Raven

    January 15, 2015 at 10:39

    Basically a flamethrower that also fires Rocket Raccoons.

    Reply

  62. Veelocity

    January 15, 2015 at 10:58

    I’d be interested to see a combo of the phantom blade and a shotgun…

    What better way to subdue a gand of thugs than firing off 6 blades into an oncomming enemies face in one shot?

    Is it unneccesary? Probably
    Would it be fun? Hell yes.

    Reply

  63. Weerwolf

    January 15, 2015 at 11:09

    The Asphyxiator – Shoots a bubble laced with paralysing poison and devoid of oxygen that encases victims and causes them to slowly suffocate.

    Reply

  64. Weerwolf

    January 15, 2015 at 11:16

    The Dark Soulance – A blunt lance that inflicts a curse upon whoever touches it, causing you to die repeatedly at the mere sight of anything able to inflict harm

    Reply

  65. Unavengedavo

    January 15, 2015 at 11:26

    The LePetit protector would fit in the world of an assassin.

    Reply

  66. Weerwolf

    January 15, 2015 at 11:28

    .40 Webster Scout Rifle – Shoots a projectile that turns it’s target into a piece of shit. Literally

    Reply

  67. Derrich Schleich

    January 15, 2015 at 12:09

    meme elemental shotgun. while combining elements from Magicka, you can taunt them with memes before, during and after.

    Reply

  68. Sir GIF Sexy

    January 15, 2015 at 12:20

    I shall call mine the “Ubi Blade”, which has the devastating power to send whoever it hits back in time to the womb, where they are born a bit too early, all glitchy, downright unplayable and in dire need of a patch.

    Reply

  69. JacoZAB

    January 15, 2015 at 15:11

    The only reason why I would want the blade is to shove it up Ubisoft’s arse for making a broken game

    Reply

  70. Juan

    January 15, 2015 at 16:31

    i would really love to see a waffle catapult in the next game, it can be used to distract guards and emergency rations in case. Note: syrup not included

    Reply

  71. Zaid Kurosaki Moolla

    January 15, 2015 at 19:36

    I wanna see a damn gunblade already…..its been to long…..still waiting

    Reply

  72. The_Ghost_Skull

    January 16, 2015 at 11:43

    The Justin-Bieber-Nator. Shoots music notes of God Awful pop music into enemies, turns them into clones of Justin Bieber. Once the enemies realize what has been bestowed upon them, they commit suicide by swallowing a grenade whole.

    Reply

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