Because I’m a grumpy old bastard, there are few things in life that give me great pleasure. If there’s one thing that never fails to engage my senses, it’s food. All sorts of food. I love high-end cuisine, cheap street food and everything in between. I love trying new things in the hope of finding a previously undiscovered culinary delight. Food isn’t just sustenance, it’s one of the things that makes life worth living.
It’s why I find it strange when I encounter people who feel that food is just fuel for their fleshy meat sacks. People who don’t find joy in discovering new and delicious comestibles. People like Darryn.
Yesterday was a normal day, until Darryn revealed that he’s never in his life eaten cheesecake. If you’re fond of cheesecake (and I am – baked cheesecake is better than a fridge), then you’ll know that a great cheesecake is delectably creamy and silky smooth, tart and not too sweet. Darryn is very obviously missing out, but it’s less that is, and more the reason why he’s not eaten it before that rankled.
Up until yesterday, Darryn believe that cheesecake had a layer of melted cheddar cheese in it, obfuscated by a layer of cream. I don’t wish to shame his ignorance here. It’s an easy mistake to make (no it’s not). More egregious though, is the discovery today that he’s never tried milk tart, one of the most beloved of South African desserts. It’s something I’m just unable to really comprehend, but I suppose we all have our quirks.
There’s very little I refuse to eat, but if you were to offer me tinned tuna I might just gag myself to death.
You tell us though! What popular foods haven’t you tried, won’t try, or just don’t think are worth eating?
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.
Last Updated: April 12, 2019
Alessandro Barbosa
April 12, 2019 at 11:34
I think Lobster is criminally overpriced and nowhere near as good as people make it out to be. So I generally don’t find it that appealing to eat
GooseZA
April 12, 2019 at 11:46
Ok that’s just cray cray!
Guild
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
What? Lobster is great. But at least you have tried it, right?
GooseZA
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Agreed. Delicious
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
They used to serve lobster to prisoners back in the day (like, wayyyy back)
HvR
April 12, 2019 at 17:51
Nevermind that few decades ago they used kreef as fertilizer.
G8crasha
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
I so agree. I do not eat lobsters, crab, calamari or prawns, but I love hake and other fish.
I have eaten crocodile, giraffe, rabbit, and other strange delicacies such as that. I do refuse to eat kidneys, livers, hearts, feet, and other such organs. Tripe is a no go for me as well.
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Yip no organs or “funny bits” for me thanks, although I love calamari but only grilled, Cajun style
Original Heretic
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Fried and crumbed. That’s the only way I like it.
Geoffrey Tim
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
I love those bits. There’s an art to taking offal and turning it into something delicious.
Gareth Lagesse (eXCheez)
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Absolutely. What I love about the “Slow Meat” festivals is that they show you that any part of the animal can taste great if prepared correctly. Also, a lot of people seem to think that offal and tripe are specific parts of the animal.
G8crasha
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
It sounds worst when you say you are going to eat the lining of the animal’s stomach. Even the sight of raw tripe makes me feel ill.
https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/320/cpsprodpb/3FE3/production/_98455361_tripealamy.jpg
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Well, boerewors is meat and fat and spice in intestine lining
G8crasha
April 12, 2019 at 12:20
So I heard, but it doesn’t look like that in the store shelves, unlike raw tripe!
gam3jaxx
April 15, 2019 at 12:47
Well it has never been prepared correctly, works the best when it is pressure cooked but also had with Skop, the texture and taste is completely different to anything..
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
My dad swears by tripe(he grew up on a farm) , I on the other hand saw them making it and was immediately put off
R1ker
April 12, 2019 at 12:21
I love tripe – nut the one thing i hate about it is the smell when you cook it.
gam3jaxx
April 15, 2019 at 12:39
Fully and completely agreed, a lot of people don’t eat offal because they say it smells, if it smells that means it hasn’t been cleaned properly and then I agree it is disgusting, there is an art to making offal, needs to be cleaned for 2 days with bi-carb soda, then it needs to be cooked in a slow cooker and served only with potato’s, a very light curry and had with a fragrant rice not tastic.
R1ker
April 12, 2019 at 12:21
Oh i love Tripe .Need to get me a leka skaap kop again 🙂
Gareth Lagesse (eXCheez)
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
The problem with lobster is that it HAS to be cooked PERFECTLY, and it’s damn expensive in South Africa.
G8crasha
April 12, 2019 at 12:09
You mean alive! Animal cruelty I say!
HvR
April 12, 2019 at 18:07
Not really that difficult just do not overcook it.
Boil in seawater until they turn red and then dump in cold water or halved over hot coals with lemon slices to shield the meat until just after the meat goes white and solid.
gam3jaxx
April 15, 2019 at 12:47
If prepared correctly, lobster, prawns and crab taste completly different to each other, Lobster is inredible. but it is something you go to a seafood specialist restaurant and not something you have at spur
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
It’s basically a sea-cockroach
Original Heretic
April 12, 2019 at 11:45
Avo. Blegh. Always tastes green.
GooseZA
April 12, 2019 at 11:45
Hated it when I was a kid. LOVE it now.
Geoffrey Tim
April 12, 2019 at 11:46
Same! Couldn’t stand it when i was young, along with blue cheese and chillis. Love all three now.
GooseZA
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Also hated asparagus until I realised that not all asparagus was slimy and canned (used to be served at braai when I was kid). Fresh asparagus, pan fried with some garlic and butter…. yum!
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
It’s all in the preparation
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Yes, yes, yes
Original Heretic
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Chillis. Now that’s the awesome stuff.
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 12:09
Avo on toast is boss, also very healthy snack
Original Heretic
April 12, 2019 at 14:12
A HA! It’s healthy. Must be why my body chooses to reject it.
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 14:12
Invented this myself: Avo on cream cheese on toast. Best.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 14:22
Nah, seen it before, didn’t see the Magoo(TM), you are fake news
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 17:49
I just chose not to copyright. >.>
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 18:22
Amateur. I’m pulling royalties already
PATENT THIEF
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 18:22
You brought your patent to the wrong neighborhood, get him guys! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/739c778c8206b7d868b90922c5afcc1ee9c8747f808ab82a8bddf00053116ff3.gif
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 18:22
+1 open source
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 14:22
I like mine with some black pepper and just a little bit of lemon juice , just adds something to it, but cream cheese sounds lekker a well, will try it
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 14:22
I always mash it with salt, pepper, a little lemon juice and a little woester sous.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 14:22
Woester or without, but I like the S&P variety (actually have it in my lunch box now)
Llama In The Rift
April 12, 2019 at 11:45
In my youth my granny would overload me with Malva Pudding that i cant stand it today…just the thought wana make me blow chunks…that and bully beef…dont get me started on Aval.
R1ker
April 12, 2019 at 12:46
I am with you on the bully beef.
Umar
April 12, 2019 at 11:45
Firstly, bless Darryn.
Secondly, Melrose and Fish Paste can get in the sea
Fnuik
April 12, 2019 at 11:46
Rice, it’s a poor mans food.
https://media0.giphy.com/media/4baoNZ5Qo8dX2/giphy.gif
GooseZA
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
The problem is not the rice, it’s whatever you’re having with the rice. Rice is delicious!
Original Heretic
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
My thought too. Rice is quite bland. It’s proper preparation that gives it great flavour.
Fnuik
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Rice tastes like nothing, it’s only purpose is to make whatever delicious food your having look like more. I will rather have a great lamb curry potjie without rice and use bread to soak up the sauce.
Geoffrey Tim
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
Good rice is delicious. We mostly eat thai jasmine rice, and it’s fragrant and flavourful. Tastic/parboiled rice…is garbage.
G8crasha
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
Love Jasmine Rice, but rice pudding is amazing!
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
Plastic garbage
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
Savory rice is so lekker, you probably thinking of boring white rice
Geoffrey Tim
April 12, 2019 at 11:46
Holy shit you just insulted my entire race. RICE IS LIFE
i don;t dig that Tastic kak tho. that’s not rice.
Llama In The Rift
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Agreed…Rice goes with about everything!!
Love my Basmati.
Spathi
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Love most short and medium grain rice. I’ll eat it as is, or just with a bit of fried garlic and green onions. Maybe chili flakes for a kick. Give me a tablespoon of minced meat, heavily seasoned with chili, soysauce and green onion and a bowl of freshly cooked short-grain rice, and I’ll be a happy man! Fresh steamed rice with most savory saucy food is a must!
Umar
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
First I’ve heard rice being called poor man’s food
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Peppermint crisp anything
G8crasha
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
You are kidding right?
Original Heretic
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
Please don’t tell me you’re including Caramel and Peppermint Crisp fridge tart… That stuff is always amazing.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Don’t care for it. Love the caramel, but as soon as I bite into the peppermint kak, I finish my plate and promptly refuse all second helpings citing some sugar/health/bs
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
I hate when its gets stuck in your teeth more than anything else, its annoying to eat
Guild
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
I’ll try everything at least once and then decide cause you never know but I’m not a fan of fish. I’ll eat sushi but hake, trout, etc. Nope. I would not purposely order it.
Also, Cheeseburgers are life. No other food need exist.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Tripe
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Runners
gam3jaxx
April 15, 2019 at 12:47
The food with the built in toothpick!
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Sheep’s head
R1ker
April 12, 2019 at 12:55
I am going to downvote
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 13:14
I am going to agree.
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 13:14
When? What’s your timeline like? Will this be a phased rollout? What’s the budget?
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 13:14
Today. Irrelevant. No. Just my heart.
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 13:14
Dammit, now I can’t say your heart’s not in it…
Kromas
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Baked Cheesecake …. you are a savage. There is only fridge cheesecake.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Both, both are fine
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3f04049021236d00f64f285f536f69be49ef82f5355e17033ba094c87a6c794f.gif
Kervyn Cloete
April 12, 2019 at 12:46
How can one person even be so wrong?!
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
My favourite type of food is Indian. I’ve been to all the Indian restaurants that I’ve ever seen and can rank my top ten by heart. I love curries, rotis, kababs and, omg, naan dude. Naan.
Never tried a bunny chow because the thought of soggy bread makes me want to hurl.
G8crasha
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
Come to Durban and eat a bunny chow and you will never leave this city (that’s of course if you are not a Durbanite in the beginning)
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
It’s not about how it tastes. 🙁
G8crasha
April 12, 2019 at 12:09
The best part is the soggy bread that has all the flavour of the gravy. Trust me. Close your eyes and take a bite and you will never look back.
HvR
April 12, 2019 at 18:07
Yes you will die on a Durban toilet with a flaming asshole.
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 12:21
Bunny chows are some of the best street food you can get. It’s basically what a gatsby would be if it were delicious.
Kervyn Cloete
April 12, 2019 at 12:46
Listen, I absolutely love a good bunny chow. Go crazy over the stuff. But I will not stand idly by and watch you slander the good name of our culinary lord and saviour, the Gatsby.
Are people writing theses on bunny chows? No. No they’re not. Checkmate, son.
http://www.capetalk.co.za/articles/344097/uwc-grad-digs-into-history-of-cape-town-s-iconic-gatsby-in-thesis
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 13:04
You know when the food is so good that it speaks for itself? Yeah, it doesn’t need a thesis, it needs consumption. Repeatedly. 😛
WyvernCT
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
Bwahaha I have this discussion with many people since I am known as the pickiest eater on the planet, that includes not eating eggs, olives, any seafood, avos, milktart and cheesecake (the list is very long . . . . Raw onion, Raw tomato (unless it is baby tomatoes), Blue cheese, Goat’s cheese, Shellfish
Fish that still has a head/tail, ( I will eat calamari on occasion), Chillies, Tofu, Bananas , Oranges, Celery, Radishes, Rhubarb, Baked beans, Broad beans, Refried beans, Parsnips, Liquorice and many more 😛
Geoffrey Tim
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EAT?
Original Heretic
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
Judging by that list, air.
WyvernCT
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
Way to much 😛 I love red meat, chicken, pork, pastas, rices, curries without the chillie, ironically I love cooking so I can make amazing risottos, pastas, roasts, since I eat most normal veggies 😛 Oh and dim sum, ALL THE DIM SUM! I am thankful every week that I have a stunning chinese market where I can get my basics
The D
April 12, 2019 at 12:21
We’re not so different, you and I.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:29
RUN @WyvernCT:disqus RUN TO CANADA!!!
WyvernCT
April 12, 2019 at 14:32
That plan flopped they dont want me!
I can honestly say, a lot of that list grew when I stopped smoking and got my taste buds back 4 years ago 😛 But I still will try anything again – hoping that its good.
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 13:15
You eat dunked KFC.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Only thing on your list that I don’t eat is liquorice
WyvernCT
April 12, 2019 at 14:33
That wasnt even the full list 😛 But decided I was gonna shock people as it is
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
So do you have an online landing page that you link people who invite you for dinners and ask “Is there anything you don’t eat?”
WhiteRock
April 12, 2019 at 13:05
You fill in what you plan to make with all the ingredients when you invite him and it flags all the no-no items…sounds like someone I’ll just never invite in the first place…
WyvernCT
April 12, 2019 at 14:33
I am very good at eating around the foods I don’t like. I will also like I have said, try something again.
The only items on that list that I will not touch even if its the last food on the planet is avo, olives and bananas
BlinkFan
April 12, 2019 at 13:04
How are you still alive?
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 13:04
I mean, Vegans still survive somehow. This seems pretty close to me. Vegans might still be worse, but only just.
BlinkFan
April 12, 2019 at 13:34
If my list was this long I would forget what I like and don’t like, and every now and again just go “ah WTF is this???”
WyvernCT
April 12, 2019 at 14:32
bwahahahaha dude try going to a new restaurant! I have to go thru the menu before I go to make sure there is stuff I will eat.
I am fracking proud of my fussiness, but seriously can make food that is totally awesome!
There is so much you can do with chicken livers, beef, pork and chicken 😛
WyvernCT
April 12, 2019 at 14:32
heck no vegans are worse 😛 Trust me on that !
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Liquorice because it has the word ‘rice’ in it
@OddSockZA:disqus
JacoZAB
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Sweet Corn, the snotty texture completely puts me off
Geoffrey Tim
April 12, 2019 at 12:20
That’s only the tinned stuff, surely? Actual Sweetcorn isn’t snotty at all.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 14:32
Agreed, the tinned stuff should only be added to mielie-balls
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 15:14
Add a drop of red food colouring and it makes a good visual substitute for bleeding-anus-diarrhea.
Dresden
April 12, 2019 at 15:25
Still enjoy them.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 15:25
Graphic, lesser stomachs will be offended, but this one, likes your comment and has a lol
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 15:37
Admiral Chief Khajiit, it pleases this one to make your acquaintance.
JacoZAB
April 12, 2019 at 14:22
Yes, the tinned variety. Ewww!
JacoZAB
April 12, 2019 at 14:22
Yes, the tinned variety. Ewww!
Spathi
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Fuck you for ruining Sweet Corn for me! I’ll never be able to eat it again without thinking of snot…
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Snotty remark!
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Chicken livers, ever since the incident of ’01, never again
WyvernCT
April 12, 2019 at 14:33
Dude, chicken livers, grilled with loads of garlic, some lemon juice and spinach as a starter – best food ever!
Kromas
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Polony …. it tried to kill me once.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:20
#NeverForgetti
WhiteRock
April 12, 2019 at 13:04
#GarlicPolony
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 14:13
What blasphemy is this…..garlic polony….shudders
HvR
April 12, 2019 at 18:07
https://i.giphy.com/media/pXYm6otcnKrjW/giphy.webp
https://www.businessinsider.co.za/enterprise-polony-slightly-different-after-listeriosis-but-no-discount-2019-1
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 12:29
If I’m honest? Pizza. It tastes good, but it’s all just fats, carbs and heart attacks combined with being hungry in a few hours.
Focaccia is delicious though. A touch of olive oil and balsamic reduction, extra garlic. Delicious!
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:29
I’m VERY picky about pizza. Certain places just don’t know how to do it, especially the big-name take-away places
Dresden
April 12, 2019 at 12:46
Pizza Hut… *shudders*
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 14:13
I hate Debonair’s their pizza’s are kak, prefer the local places that make it from scratch, also thin base> think base
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 15:38
“Think” base nogal, hehehe
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 15:38
ahhhhh, damn it !!! Me and typos, I must be a little dyslexic because it looked right when I typed it , you just gotta read my comments with context and figure it out lol
WhiteRock
April 12, 2019 at 13:05
Bazaar(Bizarre) Pudding…what the hell are you!?
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 13:05
Bizarre.
Dresden
April 12, 2019 at 13:15
What are you?! Questioning bazaar pudding… pffft!
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 13:34
Takeaways (hehe, get it? cause food) from this thread:
Geoff pretends to be a foodie but is extremely fussy and doesn’t eat the standard version of anything, anything out of a tin or anything pre-cooked.
Darryn is.. actually, probably only in his early teens.
Hammersteyn is back, but still hit-and-miss with his puns.
Kervyn is incorrect.
Admiral Chief has more opinions on food than the r/Politics subreddit has on Donald Trump.
Pariah, my man. Yeah boi. Pariah knows wussup guys. Follow him on Twitter, subscribe to his channel and hit that bell.
Guz just wants to watch the world burn. And lucky star pilchards.
G8crasha clearly has it all figured out, and Geoff should have just sent him an email with a questionnaire instead of asking all of us for our wrong opinions.
People still eat stomachs and heads??? WTF
Gareth Lagesse (eXCheez)
April 12, 2019 at 11:45
Beer and wine.
Cucumber.
Watermelon.
Geoffrey Tim
April 12, 2019 at 11:45
I’ve never found anybody else who doesn’t like Watermelon. I’ll eat it..but I’d rather not.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Watermelon > rice
Geoffrey Tim
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Jesus. This is a personal attack,
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
I don’t mind rice, I just like watermelon more
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 11:59
Beer and wine….wait….wtf
Gareth Lagesse (eXCheez)
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
Wine tastes like exactly what it is: putrified grapes. Beer is bitter fizzy water. I’ll have a neat whisky any day though.
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 12:00
I’m the other way around, LOVE beer, cant stand hard spirits, tastes like paint cleaner to me
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:09
Same here
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:09
Cheap wine is really not worth anyone’s time. Beer is glorious nectar
WyvernCT
April 12, 2019 at 14:33
That is why there is vodka, all the vodka 😀
geel slang
April 19, 2019 at 17:12
You are drinking the wrong beer and wine then.
Gareth Lagesse (eXCheez)
April 19, 2019 at 17:23
I don’t understand your comment.
Kervyn Cloete
April 12, 2019 at 12:46
Yeah, I can’t do beer either. I’ve tried. Oh lord I’ve tried, but I just cannot develop a taste for it.
Kromas
April 12, 2019 at 12:09
Souskleitjies en Pannekoek!
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Get out
Kromas
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
To go buy the ingredients for both …. I think I might just do that.
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
koeksisters are just too sweet for me
Kromas
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
I don’t like koeksisters either.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
One should never consume the cake of your sister
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 13:05
Unless it’s Cheesecake?
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 13:15
I dunno man, he hasn’t been here a while, might be rotten cheese by now
Dresden
April 12, 2019 at 13:24
Perhaps that big rabbit ate him.
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 13:05
Same. I cannot stand them.
Admiral Chief
April 12, 2019 at 12:10
Agreed, koeksister dough on the other hand is befok!
WhiteRock
April 12, 2019 at 13:04
Most koeksisters are just too soggy, but there is a crispy variety made by mystical old boer tannies which is pure magic!
Guz
April 12, 2019 at 12:09
lucky star pilchards are so gross
Matthew Figueira
April 12, 2019 at 12:38
WTF is all the hype with watermelon? It’s… edible water???????????????? I could just drink a glass of the stuff dammit!
Geoffrey Tim
April 12, 2019 at 12:38
YES ANOTHER ONE. I just don’t dig watermelon.
Kervyn Cloete
April 12, 2019 at 12:46
Watermelon is not bad, but holy fuck I can’t stand sweet melon.
WyvernCT
April 12, 2019 at 14:54
See this is where you lot are wrong. Both are awesome.
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 13:05
That is incorrect.
Pariah
April 12, 2019 at 13:14
Ah, the internet. The only place where personal preference and opinion can be labelled as incorrect. Saying that… He’s incorrect.
Magoo
April 12, 2019 at 13:14
It’s my opinion that it’s a fact that he is incorrect.
Kervyn Cloete
April 12, 2019 at 12:46
Cauliflower. IT’S SOLIDIFIED FARTS, MY GAWD HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE EAT THIS STUFF!!
And no, cheese and white sauce doesn’t help. It’s like potpourri toilet spray where you it just ends up smelling like somebody took a shit made out of flowers.