Guys, I literally can’t even…

  • What is it?

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Fifty Shades of Black is… I’m not entirely sure. I know that it was mercifully short, roughly a 90 minute blur of racism, dick “jokes” and gross out “humour” masquerading as a movie. It may or may not have managed to elicit a laugh or two from me, mainly out of sheer embarrassment for what was happening on screen. Also, if you’re throwing out eight jokes a minute, one or two might land. Might. Mostly, I have a headache from how high my one eyebrow was raised for the duration.

  • I would like it if I like…

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You’ll like it if you are a fan of the Wayans brothers. You’d also like it if you need to take a nap in a cool, dark place, where no one is going to interrupt you by laughing, chuckling, giggling or otherwise being entertained.

  • Is it good?

F–k no. Good is a foreign concept compared to this movie. Good is another language. This was most definitively Not Good. At one point, when the one character pulls out his swollen, hairy, throbbing ballsack to hammer home a joke, the other character says “Ewww. Why are you showing me that? I don’t need to see that!” to which I sincerely replied “Exactly. Me neither”.

  • Should I watch it?
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F–k no x 2. At this point I would recommend the original Fifty Shades of Grey over this, at least that was unintentionally bad. This, they set out make fun of something and failed so damn hard it hurt more than any whips or cuffs. Sorry guys, you can’t make a joke out of something that was already a joke.

Last Updated: February 19, 2016

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Tracy Benson

All about movies, board games, cider, sci-fi, fantasy and geek culture.

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