It’s time I let you all in on a little secret: There’s not a lot of money to be made from writing about video games…Unless you’re crooked!
From high atop the the replica of the fully-functioning starship Enterprise which we’ve christened the USS Kiss My Ass (Thanks for the hush money on that 11/10 review for CS:GO gambling, various dodgy publishers!) we’ve decided that we need a new gaming chair. I mean our current one is fine and all that, but having a chair made out of living gold-plated platypuses does get a bit squeaky from time to time.
Naw dawg, we need something more opulent. Ostentatious to the max, like a peacock on steroids that drowns in the underwear of all manner of species and yer mum when it flashes its tail feathers. I think we need the Acer Thronos:
Now that’s what I’m talking about! The Acer Thronos is a gigantic structure, sitting at a height of around five feet and weighing in at 485 pounds. If you had to use actual metrics instead of that silly American system, that would equate to just under 220 kilograms. The steel design has space for a ton of tech, such as support for three 27 inch monitors and even the most gargantuan gaming PC.
Even better, the Thronos can recline to 140 degrees, has “deep impact vibration” built into it and comfy seating. According to Acer, when “integrated with a Predator PC and triple Predator monitors plus gadgets, the Thronos becomes more than a gaming chair—it’s a gamer’s cave”. Acer hasn’t announced how much this gargantuan throne will cost or when it’ll even be out, but since I like looking at things that I can never afford I decided to do a quick calculation on how much it would cost to ship the damn thing over from the US of A to the R of SA.
Over 46 000 Randelas. That’s without factoring in customs and taxes, which will probably be what scientists refer to as a”metric f***load” more. I must have it, so slight spoiler warning: I’m probably going to have to score Super Seducer 2 an 11/10 so that I can have enough bribe cash to get my ass into that ungodly chair.
Last Updated: August 30, 2018