Movies out Today: 29 January 2016

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Before we start with this week’s new releases, I’d like to take a moment to thank Kervyn for the sacrifices he makes for us. While Craig was getting all high-brow and cultured with this week’s Oscar-bait movie The Danish Girl, and Nick was gleefully (if not a little bit obsessively) salivating over The Hateful Eight, Kervyn had to sit through not one, but two absolutely terrible movies this week. Here’s wishing his sanity a speedy recovery.

  • The Hateful Eight

Set six or eight or twelve years after the Civil War, a stagecoach hurtles through the wintry Wyoming landscape. The passengers, bounty hunter John Ruth and his fugitive Daisy Domergue, race towards the town of Red Rock where Ruth, known in these parts as “The Hangman,” will bring Domergue to justice. Along the road, they encounter two strangers: Major Marquis Warren, a black former union soldier turned infamous bounty hunter, and Chris Mannix, a southern renegade who claims to be the town’s new Sheriff. Losing their lead on the blizzard, Ruth, Domergue, Warren and Mannix seek refuge at Minnie’s Haberdashery, a stagecoach stopover on a mountain pass. When they arrive at Minnie’s, they are greeted not by the proprietor but by four unfamiliar faces. Bob, who’s taking care of Minnie’s while she’s visiting her mother, is holed up with Oswaldo Mobray, the hangman of Red Rock, cow-puncher Joe Gage (Madsen), and Confederate General Sanford Smithers. As the storm overtakes the mountainside stopover, our eight travelers come to learn they may not make it to Red Rock after all…

Superbly acted, tightly scripted and filled to the brim with all things Tarantino, The Hateful Eight just might be his best film to date. There’s not much else I can tell you, if you’re a Tarantino fan then you’ve probably already booked your tickets. If you’re not a fan, well, you’re probably going to watch it anyway! Nick loved it to pieces, with a 4.5/5 star review that has almost nothing but praise. And a fair amount of drool.

  • The Danish Girl

The remarkable love story inspired by the lives of artists Lili Elbe and Gerda Wegener. Lili and Gerda’s marriage and work evolve as they navigate Lili’s groundbreaking journey as a transgender pioneer.

Eddie Redmayne’s performance in The Danish Girl might be tipped as the closest competition Leonardo di Caprio has in this year’s Oscar race, but Alicia Vikander’s performance is the one to watch as she completely steals the show. Performances aside, The Danish Girl isn’t a very easy movie to watch and as weighty as the subject matter is, the movie doesn’t stick with you for very long. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth it though, judging by the number of Academy Award nominations it’s gathered. Craig rates it worthy of 3.5/5 stars.

  • Dirty Grandpa

Jason Kelly (Zac Efron) is one week away from marrying his boss’s uber-controlling daughter, putting him on the fast track for a partnership at the law firm. However, when the straight-laced Jason is tricked into driving his foul-mouthed grandfather, Dick (Robert De Niro), to Daytona for spring break, his pending nuptials are suddenly in jeopardy. Between riotous frat parties, bar fights, and an epic night of karaoke, Dick is on a quest to live his life to the fullest and bring Jason along for the ride. Ultimately, on the wildest journey of their lives, “dirty” Grandpa and his uptight grandson discover they can learn from one another and form the bond they never had.

One of the most awful, unfunny and cringe-worthy pieces of cinema to ever come out, Bad Grandpa is straight up terrible. Like, 1.5/5 stars terrible. A wasteland of lower-than-low-brow “humour” and the tattered remains of Robert De Niro’s career, this is a feature-film length poop joke that really should not exist. I mean, De Niro’s character is named Dick. Like, that’s not even trying.

  • The 5th Wave

16-year-old Cassie Sullivan tries to survive in a world devastated by the waves of an alien invasion that has already decimated the population and knocked mankind back to the Stone Age.

Well, well, well, looks like we have another YA movie on our hands. Dystopian future? Check. Teen heroine? Check. Stupid cheesy forced love triangle? Check. No competent or trustworthy adults anywhere to be found so children are forced to ‘save the world’ on their own? Check. And if all of that sounded incredibly boring… you are 100% correct. As Kervyn pointed out in his 2/5 star review, The 5th Wave is completely meh.

  • The 33

The true story of the 2010 collapse of a Chilean mine and the rescue of the 33 miners who were trapped underground for 69 days.

Considering the dramatic circumstances around this real-life event, The 33 should have been a claustrophobic, character driven drama. Instead, it plays off more like a typical disaster movie, falling prey to so many tropes and clichés that it comes out trite. Despite good performances it falls into too many pitfalls, emerging to earn a scant 42% on Rotten Tomatoes. It has its moments, but we know how the story ends.

Read  Movies out Today: 08 December 2017

Last Updated: January 29, 2016

Tracy Benson

All about movies, board games, cider, sci-fi, fantasy and geek culture.

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