I’ve been looking forward to watching Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard since it was announced, because I sort of enjoyed the first Hitman’s Bodyguard, but the sequel to the 2017 film left me sort of disappointed.
I’m not going to spoil anything, don’t worry.
I didn’t expect anything other than a fun action film. I mean, the first film was exactly that, with very flat humour in my opinion.
It was immediately clear that this movie was going to have pacing issues, as they laid out the whole plot almost in the first ten minutes. It initially felt at a point like they tried to film everything in one day, but it does thankfully slow down a bit later on.
There was no build up to reveal the bad guy or anything or lead up to anything. It just starts….with a lot of yelling from Salma Hayek. I swear that woman can scream the balls off a brass monkey.
If I hear the word “cucaracha” one more time….
If you’re looking for something compelling or deep, this movie is not it. It’s basically another straight forward shoot ‘em up film, littered with one liners and the F-bomb.
Now, I swear like a sailor myself, so the F-word doesn’t really bother me that much, but in this movie it basically makes up the script. So, don’t watch this with young, impressionable young minds around. It actually gets annoying after a while.
The humour is better than in the first movie and had me going: “LOL…WTF.” A lot. We all know Reynolds is funny, but it also seems like it takes a while for him to get into a rhythm, before the normal smart mouth appears. Jackson does what he does, basically swear a lot and that is it. Salma Hayek does a lot of yelling, as she portrays a deeply troubled individual and calls everyone a “cucaracha”, to the point of me wanting to throw the remote at my TV.
As with any movie of this genre there is a bad guy, Antonio Banderas, which plays the typical European villain, with bad clothes and hair, and jumps onto the screen within the first 15 minutes of the movie and lays his plan bare. Like I said, pacing.
The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard stars Ryan Reynolds as Michael Bryce, the bodyguard, Samuel L Jackson as Darius Kincaid, the violent, unhinged hitman, Salma Hayek as Sonia Kincaid, Darius’ crazy, screaming wife, Frank Grillo, Antonio Banderas, Tom Hopper ( from Black Sails) and even a surprise appearance by Morgan Freeman. It’s directed by Patrick Hughes who also did the first movie.
The movie is trash, but you get into it after a while and then it becomes fun. But it takes a few WTF moments for that to happen. It’s nothing but a Friday night popcorn movie, with nothing more to offer than unrealistic action sequences, a lot of swearing, crazy people and some humour that kind of falls flat most of the time.
It’s worth the watch if you are bored, have nothing to watch have 90 minutes to kill and it gets a 4.5/10 from me.
Last Updated: July 20, 2021