Though I’m just as befuddled as you likely are by the news, the UK’s Daily Telegraph recently pointed out that at 10:22 AM on June 10th, the English language officially inducts its one-millionth word.
Still not befuddled? Then wait till you hear what the candidates for the esteemed position were. These were some of the tiny literary gems that were the products of our social media-obsessed age: “defollow” and “defriend,” each referring to the act of removing a friend or follower on popular social networking services such as Twitter and Facebook, respectively.
See, and as I typed those words a nice crooked red line appeared underneath them. Why? Not because they are incorrectly spelled. Because they are so ridiculous that Microsoft Word refuses to accept them. And so do I!
Are there worse ones you ask? Of course there are. The third “word” in contention for the position, was none other than one of our fanboy favouritesâ€¦”Noob.”
We’ll just let that sink in for a second. Back? No? It’s fine, it took me a while too. Breathe. There we go. Okay, so, according to The Global Language Monitor, words must be “used 25,000 times by media outlets, social networking websites and in other public sources” in order to be considered for official inclusion in the English language.
If that number accounts for online multiplayer participants across PC and consoles, we’re willing to bet that the word “noob” was used more than 25,000 times today alone. That means that it possibly gets used 175, 000 times a week. About 750 000 times a month. And more or less 9 000 000 times a year.
I don’t care if it gets used a lot, in my opinion, it remainsâ€¦wait for itâ€¦ RidiculouslyÂ Retarded! Here’s hoping the misspelled portmanteau gets “pwned” by logic and doesn’t end up as an official English word. For if it does, I foresee a gloom and very un-intellectual future for all of us. Sorry, I just totally pwned this noob in Call of Duty!
I mean he wasn’t even looking! And right thereâ€¦O, now I get it. Mmmm. Bad Dieter. Bad *slaps himself on hand*.
Last Updated: May 12, 2009