Somehow, Blizzard did the impossible and made Diablo III actually fun. They’ve made loot more prevalent and worthwhile, excised that blasted Real Money Auction House, rejigs the boss fights and changes class skills, making the game faster and more rewarding. And the game’s expansion, Reaper of Souls makes it even better. And that, dear lovelies, is why we’re going to give a Collector’s Edition of the expansion to one of you.
Here’s what’s inside the box:
- Diablo III helms & weapons
- Ghost Wolf minion to keep you company on your epic journey
- Three additional character slots
- A World of Warcraft companion pet: The treasure goblin
- SCII crusader-themed battle.net portraits and Malthael themed decals
- Behind the scenes Blu-ray / DVD two-disc set
- Hardcover Diablo III: Reaper of Souls art book
- High quality Malthael themed mouse pad
Want that? It’s quite simple. All you have to do is comment here, telling us what bit of loot you’d love to see in the game. You have to give us the name of your legendary gear, along with its attributes.
Here’re some examples
- Darryn’s Phallic Dagger
One-Handed.
+10 to Vitality and –37 to Intelligence. User takes extra burn damage.- Rince’s Wig of Despair
Temporarily grants user a soul- Valshen’s Bane
Adds 10/10 to arrow-based attacks to the knee- Geoff’s unholy keybaordd of ridicule
+99 to typos. +35 to grumpiness.- OVG’s Friday night Chalice of beer
+10 Happiness. – 25 Accuracy. +50 Hilarity. + 3000 Rant- Zoe’s cursed paintbrush
Removes user’s ability to use Photoshop- Erwinn’s entirely pointless Banhammer
+0 to all stats.
I don’t know why anybody would want this loot – but you get the idea. Have fun, be creative. Try not to be too mean. You’re allowed multiple entries, with one comment per entry. Competition closes next week Wednesday 2 April, after which we’ll randomly draw from entries that meet the criteria. Please use a registered disqus ID to comment, or we’ll not be able to find you.
Oh yes. Terms and conditions. The competition is only open to those who reside within South Africa. Competition winner will be announced on Lazygamer.net and emailed. Prize may take some time after that to reach the winner.
Last Updated: March 26, 2014
Pieter Kruger
March 26, 2014 at 12:07
“The Uncornerible Amulet of Uncornerability”
Wearer will never get killed in a corner……NEVER!
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:07
“Darryn’s Phallic Dagger ” lol
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 12:17
0-O
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 12:08
Wrath of the Ultimate Squirrel:
Legendary two-handed sword
+400 strength
+Increases damage caused by Cleave by 5%
Chance on hit to cause rabid squirrels to attack all enemies with 5 yards and increase gold drop by 10%
El Capitan del Blade
March 26, 2014 at 12:08
>The Dragonforce
Two Handed Axe
200% increased Attack Speed
Additional Fire Damage.
Increases Character Hair length
Projects Aura of “Totally Metal”
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:39
Needs ten episodes to power up.
El Capitan del Blade
March 26, 2014 at 13:45
Wrong Dragon…
Referencing This one: http://youtu.be/0jgrCKhxE1s
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:46
Ah shit.
And this from someone who listens to Dragonforce.
I feel like I’ve failed metal today.
El Capitan del Blade
March 26, 2014 at 13:51
You hath Failed, The Knights Of Power Metallania will have to smite thee… or something… Or, just watch the video for redemption…. 😛
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:56
Can’t open YouTube at work. But at least have a few music vids on my portable hdd here.
El Capitan del Blade
March 26, 2014 at 14:02
On the Plus side, you don’t have to deal with youtube ads…
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 14:03
LOL, you should switch to lead free eyeliner
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 14:05
I deserve that.
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 14:03
Oh man. Flay thy body with gauge 6 base strings till pacified.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:08
Admiral’s BanHammer
+10 wootness
N@te
March 26, 2014 at 12:08
“Mohawk of Awesomeness”
-10 to sex appeal
+50 Zef
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:08
Brenda’s skirt
-10 Manliness
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:09
Cleo’s eyeliner
+5 deception
-5 Manliness
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 12:46
Hey! That’s uncalled for. And it got the most likes. Damn you all!
EDIT: I have a beard the size of your pet, so that adds manliness.
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:50
Quick makeup a new better weapon and get the most likes yourself. 😛
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 26, 2014 at 12:53
makeup lol – was that an intentional pun?
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:54
Only realized after I’d finished typing the makeup.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 12:57
I was staring at that for a while trying to figure if it was intentional
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 13:43
Another like *RUNS
Hammersteyn
March 26, 2014 at 12:10
Bwahahahaha, classic. Especially Erwinn’s entirely pointless Banhammer and Rince’s Wig of Despair.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:11
Zoe’s ( . )( . )
+500 Lagz swoon
Rikus
March 26, 2014 at 12:11
Rikus’ Underwear of Awesomeness
+100 Internet points
200% increase in comfort
100% increase in support
Makes wearer immune to poison gas
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:13
Hahaha, internal filters I presume?
Rikus
March 26, 2014 at 12:16
Indeed!
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:17
RAD RESIST +50?
Rikus
March 26, 2014 at 12:17
Awesome idea! Adding
Hammersteyn
March 26, 2014 at 12:11
FoxhoundR’s wand of ignorance.
+ 10 Gullibility
+ 50 Caps Locks ability
– 1000 Common Sense
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:11
The Rage of Gavin
+50 rage
chance to critically fail
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 12:11
Unpredictable Batman:
Helm
+25% chance of someone else randomly getting this item, except for Zoe
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:12
OOOOOOO nice!!!
Sageville
March 26, 2014 at 13:54
+10 Voice Raspiness
Umar hearts Grandia
March 26, 2014 at 12:11
OH MY GOD
Valshen’s Bane
Adds 10/10 to arrow-based attacks to the knee
I can’t stop laughing
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:12
hahahaha same here!
DAFUQ?
Marius Nell
March 26, 2014 at 12:12
Pistorius Pistol crossbow of freedom – +1000 to evade skill
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:12
…chance of critical fail if user speaks
Hammersteyn
March 26, 2014 at 12:12
-1000 to walking
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:12
oh snap!
Sageville
March 26, 2014 at 13:55
You sir, are going to hell…. cya there!
Hammersteyn
March 26, 2014 at 14:12
😉
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:13
Steve’s hat of fly-warding (g’day)
+10 survivability
Umar hearts Grandia
March 26, 2014 at 12:13
Zoe’s Amulet of Illusion
Adds -100 points to Photoshop skills
Spathi
March 26, 2014 at 12:14
“MSSA ring of #”
Place-holder ring, will maybe sometime in the future be useful,currently does nothing.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:14
Cursed as well
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:15
Place-holder ring, will maybe sometime in the future be useful (maybe),currently does nothing.
*Fixed
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:14
[Admiral Chief Stamp of Approval]
Pointless, but well sought after
Hammersteyn
March 26, 2014 at 12:14
Zuma’s seat of power.
+ 100 makes a countries currency worthless when uttering words
+ 500 evading rape charges
– 1000 running a country
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:16
LOL @ “evading rape charges”
More like evading most charges
Marius Nell
March 26, 2014 at 12:15
Nkandla gloves – adds 500% goldfind and gater 14% gold tax from other players
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:15
Lol
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 12:15
The Lazygamer:
Neck
-50% attack speed
+200% experience gained from Monster kills and quests
+Aura of awesomeness
Chance on hit to hurl a sleeping pacman at the enemy causing 350% weapon damage and dazing them
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:15
Mouse and Keyboard of the Master Race
+5000000000000 gaming ability
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:15
Darryn’s Phallic Dagger
One-Handed.
+10 to Vitality and –37 to Intelligence. User takes extra burn damage.
What is this? A dagger for ants? 😛
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:15
Kensei’s Katana
Katana
+15 to Procrastination
Maybe be wielded with one or two hands.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:16
I’ll help you with that, tomorrow
Umar hearts Grandia
March 26, 2014 at 12:16
Malema’s Red Hat of Infamy
Item Description: “That’s Raceest”
Attribute: +50 Thievery -50 INT
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:16
Alt description: “Bloody agent.”
Umar hearts Grandia
March 26, 2014 at 12:17
That’s Malema’s Youth league Hat of Infamy….Very rare item
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:16
-500000000000 INT
*fixed
Hammersteyn
March 26, 2014 at 12:17
Oh Snap you posted before me.
Umar hearts Grandia
March 26, 2014 at 12:17
Were you thinking something along the same lines? lol
Hammersteyn
March 26, 2014 at 12:23
Not quite, posted it anyways.
Brenz
March 26, 2014 at 12:16
Greaves of Colin Webster
+ 100 Ignorance
+100 Douchebaggery
– 100 Public Image
User loses 50% gold upon equip for legal fees
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 12:16
If there’s one comp I really wanna win… it’s this one lol
Hammersteyn
March 26, 2014 at 12:16
Julias Malemas Beret.
-100 to combat skill
-100 English language
-100 mental capacity
+500 douche power
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 12:17
Leather trousers….
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:17
Rince’s Ingwer
No description needed
😛
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 12:20
No one would be able to handle that 😛
Marius Nell
March 26, 2014 at 12:17
Rubber pant of goverment issue – wearer’s movements speed gains a toi toi affect but wearer gets permant poisoned (AIDS)
AbuZoR
March 26, 2014 at 12:18
“Jay Wilsons Word”
-10 Respect
Once was a man that said ‘F*ck that loser’
elNielio
March 26, 2014 at 12:18
Ring of Luck
+100% chance to win competition
I really hope this works
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:37
Would be funny if this was the winning comment 😛
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 12:19
A jar of Lightening’s Le Sighs, to be used to depress the enemy into submission…
Happiness dampener +100
Umar hearts Grandia
March 26, 2014 at 12:19
Zuma’s Elixir of Eternal Life
Item Description: Contains regular shower water. Cures any negative status effects.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:19
XD
Marius Nell
March 26, 2014 at 12:19
Julius red cap of corruption – grants the wearer a increase in audio volume by 50% but does nothing else
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:20
-50000000 INT as well
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:20
Pistorius’ Leg
Damage: 3 to 10
Durability: 15 of 100
Required Level: 95
Mace Class – Very Fast Attack Speed
Hammersteyn
March 26, 2014 at 12:23
hahahaha
Sageville
March 26, 2014 at 13:59
…. Chance on hit – Sound like a gunshot
…. Chance on hit – Sound like a Cricket Bat
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 14:01
I put it to you…
Eric
March 26, 2014 at 15:06
And screaming like a girl?
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 12:20
The ION:
Chest Armor
-100 Intellegence
+75% Monster spawn
Changes your character into a hot looking woman with weirdly placed banners across it
Kagutsuchi
March 26, 2014 at 12:21
Ring of Server Protection
-Gives protection from Error 37
AbuZoR
March 26, 2014 at 12:22
“Cain’s cane of overwhelming knowledge”
+5000 Intelligence
-50 Straight back
*Chance to summon Cain as an ally that will retell many many stories
xMATTx
March 26, 2014 at 12:23
The Master race’s PC
Full Chest Plate (Heavy Armour)
+10 to Smugness and –5 to gold dropped.
User takes no damage from console players.
Marius Nell
March 26, 2014 at 12:23
Green armour of the 6 – Gains wearer the chance to summon Madiba magic
Sean Scorer
March 26, 2014 at 12:23
“Uncomfortable boots of BDSM”
Run/Walk speed -90%
Aura of fear – Minions flee battle if your health drops
below 50%
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:24
Needs a safe word to remove O_o
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 12:28
lol!
Morne Nell
March 26, 2014 at 12:23
Oscars gun of walls
+200% change of shooting through walls and killing its victims instantly
ZUMAS Helmet of usefulness
Does absolutely nothing and I mean nothing but you are forced to wear it once picked up
Malemas Revenge amulet
Once you pick this up your stats will drop by 3000% immediately never to be restored
ANC Ring of stealing
When playing in multiplayer every hit point your Friend takes you Gain in Gold
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:24
Zuckerberg Gold Pouch
Buys all the things
Rags
March 26, 2014 at 12:24
Rags’s Rags
-100% gold find
+0 Armour.
+35 Car Wash
spl0it
March 26, 2014 at 12:24
Lawsuit of Lazygamer (Scroll)
-50% Gold
+50% Rage
Mark Slabberts
March 26, 2014 at 12:24
Axe of Metallica
+100 to crit chance
+200 to each stat
The user will be clouded in a mist of awesome ( like rainbows) =)
xMATTx
March 26, 2014 at 12:24
The full PS4 Shield
Tower Shield
+15 to Defence and 1080p vision.
User takes no damage from XBONE players.
Brenz
March 26, 2014 at 12:25
Greatsword of Gingers Bane
Steals soul upon lethal strike, if target has no soul, banish to SA Parliament for eternity.
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 12:26
Erwinn’s entirely pointless Banhammer
+0 to all stats. BWAHHAHA
Gareth L (That eXCheez Guy)
March 26, 2014 at 12:26
Darryn’s Crest of Mormon (AKA The Dormant Mormon)
• Reduces Death Metal Volume
• Sets Ringtone to “Walking on Sunshine”
• Feeds Pet Cat the Souls of Children every 24 minutes
Umar hearts Grandia
March 26, 2014 at 12:26
Zuma’s Spear of Love
Causes nearby creeps to go agro
Has been used numerous times and is beginning to show it’s age.
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 12:26
I also call that regulars here stand as much chance as Trevor pulling Miranda Kerr as winning ;(
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:28
Sounds about right.
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 26, 2014 at 13:00
I agree.
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:27
Icecream Man’s Helm
Instills fear on all who gazes upon it
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:27
Rename it Icecream Man’s Visage.
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:28
It has been done
Rikus
March 26, 2014 at 12:28
Charlie’s Tiger Blood
+1000 Winning
+50 Immunity to drugs
-150 Sanity
100% attractiveness to Goddesses
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:30
hahaha
Kyle Mills
March 26, 2014 at 12:28
Aiden’s one ring of power: strength, dexterity, health and evilness 300,orcs released into world upon wearing, all seeing eye unveils maps, weaknesses: hobbits and broken swords
Umar hearts Grandia
March 26, 2014 at 12:28
Geoff’s Sword of the East
Looks the same as any other sword from that region
Michael Prinsloo
March 26, 2014 at 12:28
Zaks beard of awesomeness
+20 to Strength
May cause girls to swarm
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:29
Mantle of #ForeverSP
-100% chance of pro-creating
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:11
Dammit you beat me to it.
OVG’s Cloak of #ForeverSP
+10 on all one-handed skills
Ultimo_Cleric N7
March 26, 2014 at 13:12
+10000% gold
AbuZoR
March 26, 2014 at 12:29
“Machine gun of pain”
+5000000 damage as fire
*Shoot to kill
Verrayne
March 26, 2014 at 12:29
“Cartman’s stick of Boar killing”
You gain xp killing boars irrespective of your level.
Jan-Adriaan Korff
March 26, 2014 at 12:29
The Holy Grail
“Oh no wait, I’ve already got one”
AbuZoR
March 26, 2014 at 12:30
“Diablo’s horn of taming”
*Allows you to summon Diablo as a rideable mount
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:31
Does this also need a safe word to remove? O_o
MrJackZA
March 26, 2014 at 12:30
Gavin’s Amulet of Judgement
+230 Likeability
-85% Lawyer fees
If Gavin wins the fight, destroy this amulet along with the MSSA
Ryan Quevauvilliers
March 26, 2014 at 12:31
Unholy mullet helm of doom
-1000 to intellect
+10 damage
Over 9000 style.
The D
March 26, 2014 at 12:38
+5 to Achy Breaky heart attack.
Morne Nell
March 26, 2014 at 12:32
Console sword of awesomeness: Detect if your a PC gamer if so it cause the dreaded blue screen of death.
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:34
you’re*
Grammar Nazi’s Uniform
Cloth Armour
Grants grammar correction.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:34
HAHAHA
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 12:34
Boot of power
+99 to foot in ass of console gamer
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:33
Towel
Damage: 45 to 65
+25 toxic gas resistance.
Provides warmth.
Provides bedding.
Can be used as a sail.
Provides access to toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc from others.
“Just about the most massively useful thing any interstellar Hitchhiker can carry.”
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:35
Epic comment is epic 😀
Umar hearts Grandia
March 26, 2014 at 12:37
Hahaha yeah buddy!!!
Morne Nell
March 26, 2014 at 12:34
ORB of the Easter bunny: Instantly transform the game to Diablo 4
Gerhard Davids
March 26, 2014 at 12:34
Here we go:
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:38
Nicely done.
Gerhard Davids
March 26, 2014 at 12:44
Thanks ^_^
Lardus-Resident Perve
March 26, 2014 at 16:05
Love the DPS of 69…
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:34
Cyrus Wrecking Ball of Doom
-Hides Armor
-Paired with Cyrus Hammer of saliva causes tongue to permanently petrude from one’s face
Herman
March 26, 2014 at 12:35
Gavin’s Righteous Deflector
Increases defence to block 120% of incoming attack damage
Kromas
March 26, 2014 at 12:35
Batman’s Cape of the Week
+1000 dps but only when the night is yours
Item can’t be dyed except with black or at the very least dark grey.
Allows you to be emo but still awesome.
+100% magic item drop
-10000 Gold per monster kill
Only lasts a week but you never know when you get it again.
“I am the bat.The night is mine!”-Batman
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:37
Ridiculously expensive.
Requirements: Must have been tragically orphaned.
AbuZoR
March 26, 2014 at 12:36
“AbuZoR’s Lottery Ticket”
*Gives player 100% chance to win Diablo III: Reaper of Souls Collector’s Edition
Noodlez49
March 26, 2014 at 12:37
“Bunny Slippers of Inconceivable Intent”
Feet
+10 Comfort
-12 Street Rep
+55 Distraction
+10% Critical Strike Chance due to distraction
Grimthwacker
March 26, 2014 at 12:38
Lardus’ Boots of Pervyness…. +20% Stealth, +15% at successful perving.
Doug
March 26, 2014 at 12:38
Foculus head gear
+ 100% gold
– all privacy
Kromas
March 26, 2014 at 12:40
Add Facebook integration while equipped
Zack
March 26, 2014 at 12:39
THE STICK OF TRUTH
+500 Intelligence
+500 Dexterity
+500 Strength
+100% to attack speed
+10% chance to summon Cartman to cast a Blast Fart
+10% chance to summon The Chef to cast Salty Balls of destruction
+10% chance to summon Kenny for a Kamikaze attack. (Yes Kenny always dies)
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:40
Ancient Master’s Scroll
Teaches skill Ero Stealth.
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 12:40
Indestructible Ring of Rince:
This item will never break, but you have a chance of being mugged, getting a concussion or a sprained ankle.
Jason Swindon
March 26, 2014 at 12:40
Hodor’s leggings of a thousand twerks
-69 intelligence
Strikes disgust in the enemy, causing it to flee for up to 47 seconds.
Spathi
March 26, 2014 at 12:41
-10 to dialog – Only dialog option is “HODOR!!”
Mark Treloar
March 26, 2014 at 12:41
Zoe’s Tome of MAC
+1000% This games actually works on a MAC
-1000% Gold because its cheaper to build a PC
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:24
-Right click to remove … goddammit
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:42
Pointless Comment Competition
-100% productivity
+42% meaning of life
+99.98% Hilarity
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 12:43
Treads of Minecraft:
-80% movement speed
-100% armor
Item turns all monsters into creepers that explode when within 2 blocks of you, you will die.
Norm the Horrible
March 26, 2014 at 12:43
Horrible Viking Helmet of Problems:
+101% ERROR 37!
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:43
Hipster Glasses
Doesn’t actually do anything, but can be combined with Zoe’s Tome of MAC to achieve ultimate Hipsterness
Spathi
March 26, 2014 at 12:44
“EA’s ring of micro-transactions”
Please pay $5 to see what this ring does.
Norm the Horrible
March 26, 2014 at 12:44
LOL!
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:45
*Pays $5*
EA’s ring of micro-transactions
Drains 5 gold per second.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 12:46
I am commenting here in the hopes that my name will show up on the list. That is all I ask.
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:47
You need to make a random weapon comment else you will not be included O_o
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:49
Random Comment
+1 chance of winning the D3:RoS CE competition
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:52
Random Reply
+1 chance of winning the D3:RoS CE competition
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:53
Well Played
Congratulates someone else for an excellent comeback.
+1 chance of winning the D3:RoS CE competition.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 12:55
Achievement unlocked.
Randomness Reaper
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 12:52
Busy busy. The admiral’s comment threw me off.
Jason 'Loki' Smith
March 26, 2014 at 12:47
“Damaging Axe of Damage” – +1 Damage
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:47
Ring of Rick Roll
It will never give you up, let you down, run around and desert you.It will never make you cry, say goodbye, tell a lie and hurt you
http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130303164253/ultradragonball/images/7/75/Tumblr_lwizcpFo3q1qjrs4wo1_250.gif
Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!
March 26, 2014 at 14:31
This wins the internet
Norm the Horrible
March 26, 2014 at 12:47
Ring of The Master Race:
-999% Chance of EVER getting HL3!
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 26, 2014 at 12:47
Cursed Xbone Ring of Reversal
-10 Intelligence
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:48
Shield of the Grumpy Cat
Defense: 500
Chance to Block: 99%
Smite Damage: 50 to 66
Durability: 200 of 200
Required Happiness: 0
Shield crest: http://m.everyeye.it/public/immagini/30052013/c_Notizie-Cinema_notizia-2.jpg
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 26, 2014 at 12:48
Mighty Sceptre of Imperial Majesty
Automatic hit, instant win.
Mark Treloar
March 26, 2014 at 12:50
You have spent too much time with:
The Bottle of Jack
+100% Delusions of Grandeur
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 26, 2014 at 12:52
Bah, that’s what the Radiant Cloak of Imperial Ego is for – +100% resistance to reality.
Kromas
March 26, 2014 at 12:51
Only countered by your very own Ban Hammer.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 13:00
*Ahem*
The hammer is MINE
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:00
Show them!!!!!
Kromas
March 26, 2014 at 13:02
Dammit I knew it was an Emperor or Chief that had the damn thing.
Marius Nell
March 26, 2014 at 12:49
Ring of town portal – adds an immediate voice activated town portal strait to your stach when you utter the words xbox go home
Norm the Horrible
March 26, 2014 at 12:49
Boots of the Red:
Randomly transports you to your own island in the sky in Minecraft
“WTF I DIED!???” – Rince
Spathi
March 26, 2014 at 12:49
“Spathi’s ring of procrastination”
Will find out what it does tomorrow, time to comment on Lazygamer first!
Umar hearts Grandia
March 26, 2014 at 12:50
Miley’s Armor of Insanity
+100 to Twerking skills
Ebrahim Ally
March 26, 2014 at 12:50
Oscars crossbow:
can kill teammates
Jason Swindon
March 26, 2014 at 12:50
Reins of the Swift Metal MH370
-100 reliability
44% chance to make ‘Lost’ a reality
When cast, has a 20% chance to summon Doctor Jack Shephard to heal your wounds
Mark Treloar
March 26, 2014 at 12:53
Way too soon….maybe never.
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 12:51
Shield of the Lagz Intern:
Shield
9000 Armor
Increases chance of being ragged by 110%
This item only lasts for 6 Months and then suddenly disappears.
Pixel_ninja
March 26, 2014 at 12:51
Parallax Kicks [Boots]:
300-550 Mainstat
200-450 Vit
8-12% Increased Movement Speed
Legendary Affix – For each 10 ft travelled reduce cooldown of [class skill] by .2 seconds
Spathi
March 26, 2014 at 12:52
“Epic ring of the Titan”
-Sorry, this ring isn’t available in your region.
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 12:52
Lol.
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:53
1313 ring
Sorry this ring will never be available
Kromas
March 26, 2014 at 12:54
Ring of Life Half lived V3.0
This ring is going to be AWESOME if the rumours are true.
Jason Swindon
March 26, 2014 at 12:52
RR Martin’s Red Wedding Ring
100% chance to kill everyone that ever meant something to you
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 12:52
JJ’s Beard of epicness.
+ 10 Charisma
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:54
Surely this will be countered by http://www.lazygamer.net/pc-gaming/win-a-diablo-iii-reaper-of-souls-collectors-edition/#comment-1303326776
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 12:56
At least it doesn’t hurt my feelings anymore.
Marius Nell
March 26, 2014 at 12:54
Shield of the dark souls – gains +100% fun but loses all levels upon death
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 12:54
Emperor Trevor’s Coat of Humbleness
+ 10 Exaggeration
– 10 Defence
Jason Swindon
March 26, 2014 at 12:56
Kenny’s scepter of Resurrection
95% chance to revive any player after 20 minutes
Has a 20% chance infect wielder with the curse of a thousand Hussein farts
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 12:57
Usain’s Bolt
+100 to running
Tiaan Pat
March 26, 2014 at 12:57
Ring of ADHD
+ 100 Distraction
– 50 Attention
10% Chance of squirrels erupting on hit
+ 20% Procrastination
Diavolo
March 26, 2014 at 12:57
[Improbable Walkers of Objects]
Primary
*+30% Movement Speed.
*+400 Resistance to others stupidity
Secondary
* Summons an Imp that kills any party player that destroys objects on purpose instead of concentrating on game.
* For each object destroyed on purpose by another player, removes a percentage of their magic find.
Norm the Horrible
March 26, 2014 at 12:58
Amulet of Meatloaf:
It will do anything for you but it wont do that.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 12:59
LOL
Mossel
March 26, 2014 at 15:30
LOOL!!! Dude comment of the week!
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 12:58
Gamer’s Hat
+ 10 wisdom
+ 5 strategy
– 5 agility
(200% damage received from female enemies)
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 13:01
Is that what she said?
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:02
Only the good kind of damage. 😉
Beast Of Caerbannog
March 26, 2014 at 12:59
Ring of Procrastination
Ehh, I’ll think of the stats tomorrow.
Ultimo_Cleric N7
March 26, 2014 at 12:59
Amulet of Nkandla
All other party members sacrifice 23% – 40% of their loot when joining player’s party
+100% loot from enemies
+63% chance to evade attacks
When equipped, gain access to exclusive village with premium loot, potions and other ‘security features’
Rainman
March 26, 2014 at 13:01
New Amulet of Nkandla
14% of all Gamers loot disappear into a bottomless pit.
David Muller
March 26, 2014 at 12:59
Hammer of Baysplosion
+100% damage
Causes everything it hits to explode in over the top impressive CGI carnage
Kromas
March 26, 2014 at 13:00
And excessive lens flare causing your gpu to overheat. (But boy did it look awesome!)
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 13:00
Ring of “The Stranger”
If you know what I mean
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 13:01
That’s what She said(scroll)
Can be used with almost anything
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 13:01
Banhammer, nuff said
David Muller
March 26, 2014 at 13:02
Shield of MSSA
+200% to dodge questions
+500% to avoid accountability
-350% to fulfilling assumed responsibilities
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:11
Once equipped, loses all knowledge of quest.
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 13:03
Hammer of Roux
+100 putting it to you
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 13:03
Slenderman’s Suit
Prevents all damage that would be done to you.
Kills enemies if they look at you for 2 seconds.
Allows teleportation behind enemies.
If in a dark area enemies will be terrified.
All allies become enemies.
All NPCs become enemies.
PestControl
March 26, 2014 at 13:04
Colin W.’s Impeccable Tinfoil hat of Logic (part 1 of 5 piece set):
Primary
* -99999999 Intelligence (Included on every set item)
* Proves you have no-life
* -100000 resistance to Internet Trolls
* +1337^1337 People that will hate you forever
* +1000000 to douchebaggyness
(2) Set:
* Adds automatic e-mail notifications whenever Colin W’s name is mentioned on LazyGamer
(3) Set:
* Create a mirror image of yourself going by the alias of M. Mosotho allowing you to create blog posts which praise Colin W’s lack of intelligence
(4) Set:
* Adds ability to sue who ever you want, whenever you want
Required Level: 1
Norm the Horrible
March 26, 2014 at 13:04
Brilliant!
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 13:05
Well Played
Congratulates someone else for an excellent comeback.
+1 chance of winning the D3:RoS CE competition.
The bonuses of multiple Well Played do not stack.
Norm the Horrible
March 26, 2014 at 13:04
Hammer of MC:
No, seriously. You can’t touch this.
Rainman
March 26, 2014 at 13:05
Batman of the week Amulet
Nobody knows how it works…
Kromas
March 26, 2014 at 13:06
Hell I don’t even know what an Amaulet is 😛
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 13:06
It’s the scientific term for the batnipples.
Rainman
March 26, 2014 at 13:06
Fixed already 🙂
KingKappie
March 26, 2014 at 13:06
One-Handed.
+10 to Vitality and –37 to Intelligence. User takes extra burn damage.
Rince’s Wig of Despair
Temporarily grants user a soul
Valshen’s Bane
Adds 10/10 to arrow-based attacks to the knee
Geoff’s unholy keybaordd of ridicule
+99 to typos. +35 to grumpiness.
OVG’s Friday night Chalice of beer
+10 Happiness. – 25 Accuracy. +50 Hilarity. + 3000 Rant
Zoe’s cursed paintbrush
Remove’s user’s ability to use Photoshop
Erwinn’s entirely pointless Banhammer
+0 to all stats.
DID I WIN?
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:06
Lazygamer Shirt of Bacon
– Can call on any and all allies in area
– Might attract wild animals
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 13:07
Well Played
Congratulates someone else for an excellent comment.
+1 chance of winning the D3:RoS CE competition.
The bonuses of multiple Well Played do not stack.
Rainman
March 26, 2014 at 13:07
But not to attract creatures of the fairer sex
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 13:08
Lol
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:09
Only the tame ones.
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 26, 2014 at 13:15
There are tame ones?
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:17
I’ve only heard the legends.
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:07
Gavin’s Club of Investigation
+10000% damage if target is a MSSA member
Ultimo_Cleric N7
March 26, 2014 at 13:07
Moyes chest plate of coaching:
Gain Aura of Fegusson’s shadow: all minions in distance of player loose all attack skills
-88 defense
-12 intelligence
+50 second lag when using a shout (warrior only)
Gain + 78 magic ‘ignorance’ armor
+10000000 gold while equipped.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:08
Timsters Rake of Rejection
Returns your attributes to 1
If passing start, do not collect $200.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 13:08
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 13:09
Because no one wants to be the shoe.
NickyH
March 26, 2014 at 13:11
Hanna’s Legendary Pants Of Twerking
-100 intelligence
+200 physical damage reflected
+10 Fortune
Adds Fire Damage
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:13
Apple Hippie Selfie
+ 10 FB likes
– 100 respect
– intelligence returns to 0
(80% chance of being recruited by the government)
Lardus-Resident Perve
March 26, 2014 at 13:15
Lardus’ Perversions
Legendary 2-handed mighty weapon, 2-hand, Barbarian only
[1,021.1-1,327.0] DPS
[892-1,095]-[1,150-1,560] Damage
1.00 Attacks per Second
+50% Damage
+1000 Vitality
+100% damage against male enemies
-50% all resistances against female enemies
Lardus could ward off any enemy with his mighty hammer, as long as they were male. The hammer seemed to invite female enemies in closer than some would find comfortable
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:15
There he is!
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 13:16
I didn’t know Midgets were barbarians *runs*
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:16
I believe the correct term is dwarf. Just look at the man’s avatar.
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 13:18
Was referring to the point that a midget’s hands makes anything look bigger than it really is 😛
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:18
I can’t disrespect a fellow bearded man 😉
Lardus-Resident Perve
March 26, 2014 at 13:21
In Thailand (where I spent last week), everybody has tiny hands!
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:22
Yes. But not all women are really women.
Lardus-Resident Perve
March 26, 2014 at 13:24
Problem being? ROFL
Lardus’s boots of fleet footedness
Can outrun any woman of suspicious biological construction
+50% chance to c-block
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:27
Haha.
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 26, 2014 at 13:18
Is that a male or female dwarf? According to Terry Pratchett you can’t tell by looking :/
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:19
Oh yes. I remember that.
Look deep into their eyes, if you’re straight and you feel uneasy, it’s a male.
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 13:23
Or you are secretly gay.
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:17
+Provides instant Google image search on any female within proximity
Lardus-Resident Perve
March 26, 2014 at 13:18
That is on my “great helm” that also makes me 99% immune to diseases 😉
Rainman
March 26, 2014 at 13:21
Considering the reaction to certain kind of females – going to need that helm for protection against certain diseases
Sageville
March 26, 2014 at 14:11
+100 Beard
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 13:15
The Treads of Norris:
You do not find them, they’ll find you.
PaPa
March 26, 2014 at 13:16
PaPas Amulet of Roftos
Primary
Increase attack speed by 30%
Critical squirt chance increased by 15%
Increase Ejaculation damage by 8%
Secondary
+20 Fury regeneration per handstroke
Monster Kill grants epic experience
HansieSlimJouMaWilKlim
March 26, 2014 at 13:19
Gooney’s crutches of crippliing
Primary
Decrease walking speed by 70%
Stair climb rate -113%
Chance to stagger 100%
Secondary
+50 Bicep inflation over time
BONUS
Critical Ankletap chance +60%
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:20
Timmy’s dog whistle
One time use equipment
Provides escape when trapped in well
95% chance of turning user in to female character called Tanya
Melasco
March 26, 2014 at 13:20
Ring of Dark Souls
– Increases Monster Level to 500
– Fills all doorways with fog
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:21
Tim’s deception dice
Once thrown, turns player into Tanya.
Sneak +100
Sageville
March 26, 2014 at 13:25
Reminds me of my Wow days when I was trying to convince my raid leader that the Legendary Quel’Serrar was in fact a Paladin weapon….
http://mysite.mweb.co.za/residents/cangus/quail.jpg
Michael
March 26, 2014 at 13:26
Ring of the mother-in-law
Summons your mother in law to bitch at enemies forcing them to run away in fear
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 13:27
You lose 40% of your max health.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:27
Mine doesn’t even have a ring on and that happens.
Michael
March 26, 2014 at 13:55
Earplugs of the mother in law (to compete the set)
when all the monsters ran away you will need some form of protection :p
Michael
March 26, 2014 at 13:28
Wand of Currency changer
Allows you to purchase games on battle.net in US Currency instead of Euro.
Louwrens Haasbroek
March 26, 2014 at 13:28
Armor of Lucien, Legendary Chest Armor 624 Armor
+0.37 Attacks Per Second
+23% Damage
+269% Armor
+25 Cold Resistance
+45 Attack
Requires Level 60
Durability: 25
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:29
Steam’s Ring of Fair prices.
-Sales. Sales everywhere.
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:29
Assassin’s Orb of Completeness
– Touch poof dead
ZombieDogma
March 26, 2014 at 13:30
Schrodinger’s Cat ‘o nine tails:
50% chance of instant death
100% cat
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:31
SARS’s Scroll of Online Sales
+ 14% VAT
+100% sadness
Sageville
March 26, 2014 at 13:35
The Webster:
Legendary Shield
+100 Dodge
+100 Block
+100 Tapdancing
Chance on block – All threat is transferred to closest Puppet.
CrypticRage
March 26, 2014 at 13:36
“Put it to you staff”
+ 100% popularity
– 100% intelligence
Will make you think you never owned a staff at all.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:42
Colonial Marine Cleaver
Costs the same as other cleavers
Doesn’t work.
Looks terrible.
People point and laugh at you.
Soils franchise
Sageville
March 26, 2014 at 13:42
Sageville’s Bong of Infinite Hits
Legendary Bong
+10 Eye Redness
+20 Smart-Assed Ideas
+100 Munchies
+100 Paranoia
Chance on Hit – Have like another hit….Bruu…. Wait… what?
PaPa
March 26, 2014 at 13:43
ANC Ring of Nkandla
Primary
+1 Cattle Kraal
+1 Chicken Run
+1 Culvert
+1 Fire Pool
Secondary
Tax Payers Pay
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 13:44
I don’t think anything it going to beat @Unavengedavo:disqus well done sir, well done!
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:45
I agree. That was damn clever.
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 13:48
According to statistics being clever has to happen to everyone at least once, even @Unavengedavo:disqus Of course he’s wasted that being clevel now. Next time could have been a million dollar question 😉 *RUNS
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:50
Knowing myself. I’d be clever, only maybe half an hour too late.
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 13:54
At least you’d be clever. I’d sit staring at the question with drool coming from my mouth till they carried me off 0-O
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 13:52
Typo
+100% to ruin “clever” insult
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 13:53
See? I told you, even the insults are falling flat now 🙁
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:52
Actually gave me an idea:
Unavengedavo’s Link to Anything
+100000 gross damage
Rince
March 26, 2014 at 13:53
Nice!
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 13:54
HAHAHA
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:55
+ 10 anti-corruption xp
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 26, 2014 at 13:55
But what is the net damage? O_o
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 14:15
R2800 for 5 visit to the psychologist, R50 for lunch and R350 for new keyboard
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:44
MS’s Box of One
+100 heavy damage
+720p
-15 logic skill
– Reverse previously cast spells
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:45
+ Kinect add-on
– 100 privacy
Sageville
March 26, 2014 at 13:45
You forgot… Chance on hit – 60fps, otherwise 30fps
Michael Matusowsky
March 26, 2014 at 13:47
Sword of Yolo
Two-Handed.
+100 to Vitality and -100 to Core Stat. User takes 10000dps while holding the sword.
Each attack adds 9001 health.
23% lifesteal.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:47
Nice
UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy
March 26, 2014 at 13:48
Was going to do this, but I already own one of theses Collector’s Editions *dances*
Also the expansion and new act is AMAZING! Super epicness! Loving it!
Ascobel
March 26, 2014 at 13:48
Ascobel’s Beard of Truth
+1000 laughter when anyone says the last try against the Blues should not have been awarded!
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 13:49
lol
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:50
Ghostly Staff of COD
– Same attributes as all other COD equipment
– Can only be equipped for 4 hours
Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!
March 26, 2014 at 13:51
C’Webster’s soft flail
+400 BullS!#$
-200 intelligence
Unique ability
Take anyone to court who makes a yo mama joke in global chat
Ascobel
March 26, 2014 at 13:52
Bryce Lawrences Cape of Incredibility
-2000 sight
+15000 gold find (only in Austalasian region)
+15000 magic find (because my daddy was the head of referees)
-56 million springbok supporters.
*Can only be warn if head is shaped like a penis
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 13:52
SA Titanfall Tunic.
Unattainable.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 14:09
Too soon?
Ascobel
March 26, 2014 at 13:54
Zuma’s glasses of Nkandla
+sixty hundred four thousand and 6 million power of everything…..He he he
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 13:57
looooooooooooooooooool
Well played
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 13:59
+ Trigger rage damage with middle finger push up
Jonathan van de Wouw
March 26, 2014 at 13:56
“The Ermagherd Pheathers of Phteven”
+50 ranged phkill when casting phpecial elemental twinkle phtars to all phabulous phoes
David Muller
March 26, 2014 at 13:57
Blades of the Runner
+200% damage to foes behind doors.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 13:57
Critical hit!
Alphaskater
March 26, 2014 at 13:57
what’s the game like?
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 13:58
Ring of competition desperation
Cursed
No effect
Alphaskater
March 26, 2014 at 13:59
Who likes fingerboarding?
Rainman
March 26, 2014 at 14:00
Jacob’s Ring
Instant wealth while kissing it.
+50% immunity of persecution
+100% get out of jail free card.
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 14:01
+40% chance of female family member becoming next wife
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 14:00
Cloak of flight
Super effective on aircraft of Malaysian origin…
Rainman
March 26, 2014 at 14:01
Or is that the cloak of invisibility?
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 14:01
Peter Griffin’s Belt
+ 100kg carry weight.
+ 100% chance of being attacked by rooster
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 14:02
Darryn’s philter of love
Not even remotely effective
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 14:05
LOL
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 14:07
Drains bat suit of its masculinity
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 14:09
I think I’ve entered enough… actually my brain shutting down tells me so
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 14:11
Gabe’s Valve of Creation
+Damage is half of target’s life
+1000% level of awesomeness
+300% weight gain
-80% cost of PC games
-Third attack takes for fucking ever
Requires:
Master Race Level 20 OR
Console level 60
Bryan Musso
March 26, 2014 at 14:14
Amulet of the Mad King Steopus
2 Handed Sword
8965 -23426 Damage
2000-5000 Fire Damage
2000-5000 Frost Damage
+200% Damage
+2000 Vitality
+2000 Strength
+2000 Dexterity
+2000 Intelligence
Only works in World of Warcraft
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 14:14
Robin’s Gauntlets
+10% chance of getting Most Comments.
Alien Emperor Trevor
March 26, 2014 at 14:14
Mac Attack of Deception.
Disables right-click.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 14:15
+50 hipster
ToshZA
March 26, 2014 at 14:15
Armbands of Heavy Metal
+10 to awesomeness, +20 to deafness, Grants user the ability to wear full facial make up. Can only be dyed black or red. User leaves a trail of blood where he walks.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 14:21
Epic finger speeds
– 100 to caring what other people think
Lefornicator
March 26, 2014 at 14:15
The Vibralator (Used as mystic weapon by all Nepahelm)
+50 strength
+400 Vitality
-200 dodge
-100 poison resistance
+80 movement speed
Chance to infl. Bleed +35% +35%
Chance on hit to electrocute and stun enemy until they have climaxed
Alphaskater
March 26, 2014 at 14:15
I bet the comment i’m typing now… so much people will dislike
Torchedqwe
March 26, 2014 at 14:16
Crown of never ending E-toll
+ on hit: target’s banking details added to your database
On every step your character takes randomly debit an enemies gold account that is present on your database. This effect works on enemies even after death or living in other circles of hell. No saving throws are applicable to this debit.
ToshZA
March 26, 2014 at 14:20
Ultimate Sword of Promiscuity
+100 to Maccing skill
+50% Conversion rate on first dates
+200 to pulling out in time
+500 to bragging rights.
Gives user a smug grin every weekend.
Cursed: Makes all females who’ve experienced the sword, hate the wielder.
ToshZA
March 26, 2014 at 14:23
The Thinking Cap
Allows user the ability to use its own brain.
Recommended use: always.
VampyreSquirrel
March 26, 2014 at 14:24
Staff of the Lorewalker:
Summons Lorewalker Cho from World of Warcraft to tell you irrelevant stories about things you really don’t care about but can’t skip because, Pandaren in Diablo.
Kieran Luke Druzynski
March 26, 2014 at 14:27
Rynski’s Polish Pole
One-Handed-Sometime-Two-Handed-Staff
Temporarily enlarge’s all members in Party
+100 to Hapiness
+100 to Vigour
+100 to Libido
100% Chance to cause Blind(If facing enemy)
Stats only last 2-3mins
(Stats will last 7-8mins if holding Pfhizer’s Belt of Everlasting Comings)
Alex Hicks
March 26, 2014 at 14:28
Humble Bundle of Nostalgia
+1000 perception
-100 gold
+100 charity support
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 14:36
-5 gold
Fixed
🙂
Alex Hicks
March 26, 2014 at 14:38
Actually – should be – any amount of gold the user chooses …
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 14:42
Aye, good guy HumbleBundle
ToshZA
March 26, 2014 at 14:29
The Ring of Animation
-100 to sleep
+100 to creativity
+500% frustration
-100 to time
Allows anyone the ability to change your work on demand without any knowledge of the work or process involved.
HvR
March 26, 2014 at 14:29
MSSA’s Page of Information
Index of /
– cgi-bin/
ToshZA
March 26, 2014 at 14:29
oh BURN!
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 14:33
It’s been updated…
It’s hosted by freeserver and looks worse than before. O_o
ToshZA
March 26, 2014 at 14:39
I’ve seen better websites done by 12 year olds… Wow that’s horrible.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 14:40
That is totally pathetic
ToshZA
March 26, 2014 at 14:41
Me or the website? O_o
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 14:42
Go to mssa website, have a look, decide which one of the two I decided to call pathetic
😉
ToshZA
March 26, 2014 at 14:43
Yeah just needed to clarify there, I don’t cope too well with ambiguity. I have already been, and scarred my eyes.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 14:44
😉
Alex Hicks
March 26, 2014 at 14:31
The Denny of Crane
+100 charisma
20% chance to avoid all litigation
binds on equip
Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!
March 26, 2014 at 14:32
You forgot unique ability ‘Flamingo suit’
Alex Hicks
March 26, 2014 at 14:33
I forgot nothing. I’m Denny Crane. Name’s on the door.
Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!
March 26, 2014 at 20:57
Man I miss that show
Eric
March 26, 2014 at 14:34
Snaga the Sender – Butterfly axe that a hero used from David Gemmell books.
– Doesn’t dull
– Cuts through anything
– Can kill demons
– Is demon
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 14:37
Swords of Night and Day
-As above.
Eric
March 26, 2014 at 14:39
Swords of Blood and Fire
– Literally a copy of the above 😛
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 14:44
But with higher stats and a higher chance of demonic possession.
Eric
March 26, 2014 at 15:01
Haha. Actually made my day
Kensei Seraph
March 26, 2014 at 15:07
Skilgannon the Damned is one of my favourite characters.
I’m still hoping for a book 3.
Eric
March 26, 2014 at 15:59
Well David Gemmell died in 2006. So that might be a bit hard to come by. I’m more of a Waylander fan, although I like the simplistic, straight to the point approach of Druss when it comes to things. “Is it right? Protect it” and “Is it wrong? Kill it”.
Bryan Musso
March 26, 2014 at 14:36
Jacob Z’s Armour collection
Jacob Z Shield
Devastating spell effects cast by public will randomly be redirected to a friendly party member
Jacob Z Cap of Cleanliness
Poison will be washed off and the effects will be severely reduced
Jacob Z Studded Armour of Intelligence
All intelligence attributes will be changed into Armour shielding you from all thought
Jacob Z Arm Band of Dipping
Gold drops from public coffers will yield higher returns
Alex Hicks
March 26, 2014 at 14:37
Golden Sky
Allows user to ascend the ladder by at least 7 places in a single season
May be accompanied by the song of a lark
(Only available after a very long dark storm. Often found in close proximity to the Moyes Shield/Cape or whatever mentioned a while ago)
Alex Hicks
March 26, 2014 at 14:41
The Ring of Molyneux
+1000 boastfulness
-1000 success
binds on equip
-100 reputation every turn
ToshZA
March 26, 2014 at 14:42
“User starts with reputation over 9000.”
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 14:42
Chronic moley-moley starts to grow on face…..
Alex Hicks
March 26, 2014 at 14:44
dammit, now I’m starting to think of Austin Powers themed items … and they are disgusting. O.0
Uberutang
March 26, 2014 at 14:50
Blizzards spear of dlc
2 handed
Instant death to all enemies on screen,
if presented with a valid credit card
ToshZA
March 26, 2014 at 14:59
Tiny Tina’s Amulet of AWESOMENESS.
+100 to psychotic tendencies.
+1000 to crazy speak. Feel me? Sucka. Suckas. Hehehehehehuehuehuehe.
+50 to denial.
Able to make dragons appear and disappear at will.
All monsters are tied down and blown up on approach.
Mossel
March 26, 2014 at 15:02
The Eric Cartman Ring of Obesity
– Adds a 20% chance that people will stop and make fun of your weight, giving you a chance to kill them
Freeyourfears
March 26, 2014 at 15:02
“The Secret Squirrel amulet”
+4000 suck blood from your enemy
+1% to steal money from scare enemy when it is running away.
+1% to start speaking as a politician
+1% to make love with your partner (only applicable when you are in a party and drunk)
“An amulet with the face of a funny squirrel that can fear the most abomination of the hell”
Johann
March 26, 2014 at 15:06
The Nerf Bat of valour. On each attempt to hit an overpowered creature there is a 5% chance that you will lower his abilities by 10%. (There is also a chance that the developers will deem your character too powerful and nerf the crap out of him)
Bevan
March 26, 2014 at 15:10
The winning staff of luck(2-Handed)
+100% win
“Used to win competitions” – Anonymous
Albertus van Rensburg
March 26, 2014 at 15:15
The Verb of Truth Bow.
350% Dexterity increase,
+35 bleeding damage,
+40 Strength
-5 Armor,
-5 Intelligence,
-15 Enemy armour
+100 000 000 Basassness
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 15:17
What is Basassness precious?
Albertus van Rensburg
March 26, 2014 at 15:20
It makes all enemies cry out in pain and despair “it burnsuss! IT BURNSUSSSSSSS!
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 15:21
lol
Albertus van Rensburg
March 26, 2014 at 15:28
Oh, also, every time you hit an enemy with the bow, the arrow says “this hurts me more than it hurts you”.
Zell Reid Strife
March 26, 2014 at 15:16
Name: Stig Suit
Description: Some say that you can achieve comment of the week with this suit others say that you can gain the weekly Batman Award all we know is you can use it to win the Diablo III competition
Zell Reid Strife
March 26, 2014 at 15:18
Name: Titanfall (South Africa)
Description: Only available through select online retailers
Stats:
-100000000000% EA and server support in your country
Sk3tz0
March 26, 2014 at 15:23
Staff of MMORPG
-100Hr Social Life Steal
-16 Gold Monthly Subscription
+100 N00b Rage
+50% Gold Seller Annoyance
-30 PVP Ability to your Faction
0.001% Loot drop on All Item and Gear that you actually need
Wearer of Staff of MMORPG will uncontrollably Complain about Main Class being Nerfed.
Accusations of being OP Class
Unlimited Forum Flamewars
Martin de Jager
March 26, 2014 at 15:23
the #SELFIE dagger
has a build in cam
+ 5 megapixel
when this item is equipped, it gives you the ability to take as many SELFIES as you can while fighting an enemy!!!
Deano
March 26, 2014 at 15:30
Monday Barman’s Pale Ale [Legendairy!]
* Makes everyday of the week into a Friday.
– 85% Productivity
– 50% off all beers
+ 25% to beer goggles
Socket item can be filled with beer!
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 15:48
I support this item!
Zell Reid Strife
March 26, 2014 at 15:37
Name: The Dragon Blade
Description: It has a DRAGON on the blade
Bryan Musso
March 26, 2014 at 15:38
Ok this time something I would actually like to see:
Unique Item: Amulet of Sheep
Grants spell that turns creatures into sheep
Has area effect of 12 yards
50% chance that herd of sheep will turn into vampire sheep, this will siphon health to caster
Sheep will attack random creatures
When sheep dies they explode with random effect
Has cool down of 2 minutes
The sheep are the natural enemies of demonic cows and one should never under estimate their will to protect the shepherd from all demon spawn… Anonymous Shepherd
$iCK-BOy
March 26, 2014 at 15:50
Weapon name: The “Just what you’re looking for”
Description: Can only be looted from killed enemy, isn’t an 8th of your current weapons strength, doesn’t require a higher level for you to use and is something you’ve been running around looking for for ages. Will possibly grant player a biscuit from time to time or even a head massage to ease his / her travels (Especially getting though Act 1)
Player: “Whats this? NICE! Its better than what i’m currently using! ….A biscuit? Why thank you. You know what would really help now is a head mass…..oh god that’s good. Just what I was looking for!”
boondocksaint87
March 26, 2014 at 15:52
Helm of shame
* Makes all items including underwear invisible
+ Occasionally hides your shame
Christiaan de Jongh
March 26, 2014 at 16:10
Rapier of Uranus. + 3000 fire damage. -100% movement speed
A 2 Cthulhu?
March 26, 2014 at 16:14
The Gupta Hammer:
100-400 Illegal Plane landing dmg.
100% bonus corruption dmg.
25% chance to give police bonus money.
Chance to summon a Zuma that runs away and hides at the first sight of public outcry.
Admiral Chief of Auraxis
March 26, 2014 at 16:14
Well done, made me lolz!!!
CrasH
March 26, 2014 at 16:17
The Coin of Pay-to-Win.
You can finish any act when you spend the coin, with no skill required and instatntly.
CrasH
March 26, 2014 at 16:21
The Amulate of faithful pause.
Grants the ability to pause any online game, but only has 3 uses per day.
Scruff304
March 26, 2014 at 16:22
The Ring of the Great Cornholio
+ 10 to WTF’s
If drunk/stoned when skill triggers, then + 200 to uncontrollable laughter.
A 2 Cthulhu?
March 26, 2014 at 16:22
I give you the Ukrainian Nemesis Weapon.
Christopher Stoffel Lubbe
March 26, 2014 at 16:26
“Gert se Kettie”
Legendary Ranged Weapon
+500 dex
-200 str
“Has a chance of raining Dirkies from the sky when killing a monster”
OminousRain
March 26, 2014 at 16:45
Emo’s Vengeance Dagger
One-handed
+457 Vitality
-50% Vision (Hair covers one eye)
-75% View Range (Character will keep looking at the ground)
350% AoE Hatred Dmg
User suffers constant Bleed Dmg and Self pity
User has very small change of committing suicide
Hipsters Bow of Hipping
Two-Handed
+50 Dex
+200% Dodge (Getting hit is so mainstream)
-50% Vision (Hair covers one eye)
30% Finding a dungeon before the demons do
-150% XP
Kill Creatures Ironically
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 19:04
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b122/grayantimatter/funny/remember_kids.jpg
Thomas Christian Koldskål Kjae
March 26, 2014 at 17:02
the ultimate pigsticker.
1 damage
100000 attacks per second
every third attack will be crit
Ryanza
March 26, 2014 at 17:13
“The Stick of DRM”
Whoever possesses The Stick of DRM, will be granted the most powerful weapon in gaming, the Offline mode.
Extremely rare item.
Jedi JJ
March 26, 2014 at 19:03
Excellent
loftie
March 26, 2014 at 17:15
Helm of Listnessness
+1000 to life when standing still
+100 to all stats when not using skills
+500% mana regeneration when not casting
-5% to everything when moving/casting and using skills
kweni16
March 26, 2014 at 17:30
Damn I suddenly wished I live in South Africa.
GooseZA
March 26, 2014 at 17:54
Optimistic sword of Dreaming
– chance on hit to release Half Life 3
Just Saying
March 26, 2014 at 17:56
T-shirt of lawlessness:
* Will throw the matter out of court and grant the wearer actual bacon.
Stan Smith
March 26, 2014 at 18:36
Cuttlefish loin cover
+1000 awesomeness
-1 life
Byron Du Pavillon
March 26, 2014 at 19:22
“Boots of swag”
+ 300 SWAGNIFICENCE
Kevin Chaoseater
March 26, 2014 at 19:42
Piercing Thorn:
Legendary Bow
+560 Dexterity
Critical Hit Chance increased by 6%
Critical Hit Damage increased by 60%
Your Turrets now shoot twice as fast. Works with Ballistics.
David
March 26, 2014 at 19:42
Orlando’s slingshot (temporarily diisables all magical abilities and reduces speed by 50%.)
Francois
March 26, 2014 at 19:59
“Malema’s blade of lawlessness”
Allows you to pick up your opponents loot
Boerseun
March 26, 2014 at 21:15
Zuma’s Loincloth of Nkandla. Bestows upon the wearer 290 million gold pieces. Also the power to Summon Firepool. Summon Chicken Run (95% Health damage caused by lunatic pecking order) and Summon Minister of Basic Education. All children sorry enemies lose 150000 intelligence and Votela ANC
Mugelbub
March 26, 2014 at 22:31
Mmmm lets think the nyan cat shield
100% chance to annoy some one fot 10hours:P
100% chance to stun
50% chance of sleep
and 250% attack speed bonus
David Sanchez
March 26, 2014 at 23:13
Magic Underwear: Foes cower in sheer terror.
Urf
March 27, 2014 at 00:09
Howard’s 1-handed “Stimulus Package” Fist Weapon
Monk Only
Dam: 1,002 dps
– -5 Dex
– -10 Vit
– players stuns are 50% less effective
– player inflicts target with “Butt-Hurt Pay-out” causing enemy’s to bleed for 75% weapon damage and drop gold equal to the bonus damage dealt for the next 7 seconds
– 2 Slotted
Rudd’s “Resignation” Tower Shield
Def: 902
– +75% chance to dodge
– player can no longer dodge
– attack speed increased by 5%
– 25% chance to fear enemies
Bat Micho
March 27, 2014 at 02:09
“The hardphone shoulders ”
Primary
+550 str
+600 vit
+12% run speed
+20% crit hit chance
*secondary
“Whenever you need to take a phone call when you play on hardcore, you gain a protective bubble that absorbs all the damage from the mobs the bubble disappear when you close the phone.”
Michael
March 27, 2014 at 07:48
Trompie’s Ban Hammer
Use to instantly ban a character
Lloyd
March 27, 2014 at 07:57
“Ladies ring of marriage”
Never loose a fight again
immune to fire and cold damage
+100 to all stats that need a boost
Craig "Crios" Boonzaier
March 27, 2014 at 08:19
“Grumpy Cat of Nine-Tails”
1 Handed Crusaader F(l)ail
Primary:
> +100 to sarcastic comments
Secondary:
>You gain and aura of despair, which cause enemy’s to be sad and gloomy, losing the will to fight and not care anymore. However whenever an enemy dodges your attack you lose interest.
Iggy POP
March 27, 2014 at 08:35
Morgan Freeman voice simulater
+ 1000000 awesomeness
Gauntlets of Chuck Norris
+ 99 strength
– 100 appeal causes Ginger disease
Boots of Bruce Lee
+ 200% attack speed
Cuases nunchucks to block ping pong balls
Brendyn Zachary
March 27, 2014 at 09:06
Spear of Nkandla
+50 to gold find
+5 to burn damage
+10% evasion
When equipped the Spear of Nkandla opens the secret dungeons Pool of Fire, Demonic Chicken Run and De-Nile.
Jason Ashman
March 27, 2014 at 09:22
The webster hammer
Does no damage, just takes 10 gold out of your pocket every time you swing.
Cat
March 27, 2014 at 09:58
“The Freedom Fighters fighting for the poor Wardrobe set”.
Must contain all items in the set to gain the ability as a self confessed leader while tenderpreneuring with every chance one has.
1. Designer Clothes for “The Modern Freedom Fighter”.
Allows the wearer to make one seem better than the peasants that one is to control. One has to look respectable even if one cannot speak properly.
2. “Red Berret of Freedom”
Allows the wearer to seem sophisticated and educated while not having passed most of ones curriculum on multiple attempts. Added benefit makes the wearer not understand what Mathematics is and not be able to complete “woodwork” yet wanting to run a country.
3. Breitling Watch of the “I don’t know what the numbers mean”.
Allow’s the wearer to look like a quarter of a million bucks while not knowing what all the number add up to.
4. Garage full of Chariots for the “Gotten Rich from the poorest parts of the land, Act 9(Limpopo)”
Allows the user to stream past everyone over the speed limit as “There was important work to be done & was on a tight schedule to attend an urgent program for the poor after sunset”.
No way a normal man can be seen using the nations transport system, one has to have AMG’s, Austins & Range Rovers chariots filling up the garages.
5. Millionaires House of the up and coming “Fighter for the Poor who have no houses”.
Big enough walls to keep the poor out while allowing you to count the millions from a normal junior politicians salary. Added benefit of having a view of your Garage full of chariots while having dinner.
6. Farm of “I don’t know how to plan anything but I want to run all Acts in this country”.
This allows you a great deal of land to create a opportunity for sustaining ones life but is rather better to let it rot.
7. “Gang of thugs & criminals” masquerading as politicians
This group has a large amount of potential to get you out of difficult situations to cover up your miss dealings while making you look like a simple citizen & pay off anybody who has incriminating evidence against you.
Added benefit it funds your expansion plans at the cost of the poor who get worse off than they were previously while alienating minorities.
Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)
March 27, 2014 at 10:07
1st cup of coffee
+62% Alertness
-78% Grumpyness
+89% You can talk to me now
Storm
March 27, 2014 at 10:39
“Lazygamers sword of 1000 smiles”
Legendary 1h sword
+200Strength
increases damage caused by Cleave by 3%
Chance on hit to cause all creeps in the area of the wielder to become frozen in a lazy sloth like manner.
This will be of great use in nightmare and hell modes.
Storm
March 27, 2014 at 10:55
hatchet of hellish intent
Legendary 1h axe
+200Strength
increases damage caused by Cleave by 3%
increase strength by 1% every time you kill a mob. this can stack 5 times.
Chance on hit to turn into a demonic entity in a thong.
Juan
March 27, 2014 at 14:03
ive seen the screenshots, but yet to see the item, but Potion of Kulle-Aid, gives temporary ability to break through walls . . .
Mugelbub
March 27, 2014 at 18:34
NunChucks
Adds roundhouse kick to melee fighters that kills all enemies in 10 000 radius meter
+250 attack speed
+250 movement speed
and a whole lot of kick ass
and call mob so you can use roundhouse kick
3easel_3k
March 27, 2014 at 20:01
Cape of the Dark Knight
Armor 666
+401 Intelligence
+50 to all resistances
+ Aura of Stealth, 10% chance of invisibility for 2 seconds, stacks 3 times
+ each kill illicits your character to shout “I’m Batman!”
Instantly identifies items
50% chance of getting back broken by Siegebreaker
“Nanananananananananananananana….Baaatmaaan”
Moncy
March 27, 2014 at 21:27
Bruce’s Bat-Cowl:
860–959
Armor
Primary
+1000-1500 Strength
+5000-5500 Intelligence
+10000-10000 Badassness
Increases Jaw-Breaking Uppercut Damage by 200%
Secondary
200%-300% Chance to Fear On Hit
Immune to BS
Indestructible
Banewolf
March 27, 2014 at 21:42
Mine is a reference to Zelda (Blade of Evil’s Bane) It should do 5% extra damage to evil. A one-handed sword and it should glow brightly aswell. The skin should be a Purple sword that doesn’t look exactly like the master sword but looks a bit like it. (Would be cool with a hylian shield too)
Banewolf
March 27, 2014 at 21:45
“Truth Bringer” An electric two-handed sword with giant spikes + Dmg – Dmg lightning damage and some kind of extra buff like 5% extra gold or something like that.
Banewolf
March 27, 2014 at 21:48
“Staff of the Time Lord” A staff with the form of a wooden rod and the description: A legend says this was held by a great wizzard with the ability to control time, no one knows what happend to him. Some says that he went back in time but the staff didn’t follow him, he is therefor stuck in the time he went to. It should have a special buff that makes the mage ability “Slow Time” a little longer.
Banewolf
March 27, 2014 at 21:51
“The Tri-Pendant” A reference to the Triforce, it should have a strength buff, magic buff and a “courage”(Attack speed or Armor maybe) buff. It should have the form as the triforce.
3easel_3k
March 28, 2014 at 00:52
Shirt of Dr. Cooper
Character will appear to be wearing Flash’s uniform
Armor 1
Intelligence + 1.000.000
Strength -10.000
Attack speed increased by 0.01%
Enemies within 100 yards lose all Intelligence and become confused for 10 seconds
Increases elemental damage by 3.14159265359%
Chance to ‘Bazinga’ Diablo after each critical hit
“Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”
3easel_3k
March 28, 2014 at 00:52
Shirt of Dr. Cooper
Character will appear to be wearing Flash’s uniform
Armor 1
Intelligence + 1.000.000
Strength -10.000
Attack speed increased by 0.01%
Enemies within 100 yards lose all Intelligence and become confused for 10 seconds
Increases elemental damage by 3.14159265359%
Chance to ‘Bazinga’ Diablo after each critical hit
Enter rooms and dungeons after 3 clicks
“Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”
Tiaan Pat
March 28, 2014 at 07:03
“Sword of boop”
+ 50% change to boop on hit
+ 20% increased damage when boop is a critical hit
https://scontent-a-fra.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/1958135_10152302770284861_2087685657_n.jpg
John Van Rensburg
March 28, 2014 at 09:34
Gavin’s infinite purse of holding (and woe).
a bottomless pit, contained in a stylish leather drawstring purse, connected to an alternate universe filled with lawyers and colin webster. -100% any lewt earned. +1 awesome tshirt +1 crash course in legalese.
(sorry Gavin…its in jest, not meant to be mean)
Unavengedavo
March 28, 2014 at 10:13
Friday
-50% productivity
a further -50% applies after 12h00
Draco Lusus
March 28, 2014 at 11:31
Poncho of Badass, nuff said…
Ascobel
March 28, 2014 at 11:34
Ring of rubberbanding.
*Immediately stops rubberbanding making Torment level funny!
-Binds with Neck of lagging
-Binds with Chest of Low Latency
-Binds with Feet of No More Error Codes
Mugelbub
March 28, 2014 at 12:23
little baby’s ice cream armor
+150 armor and gives brain freeze to all nearby enemies and all players in group
Ruins the minds of so many people
1000% manna and hp regeneration
Andrei Hruscovschi
March 28, 2014 at 20:11
Dagger of the remote
– On critical – changes the channel on neighbor’s TV
Kapsid
March 29, 2014 at 14:44
Sword of Suicide
Two Handed Sword
+0 all stats
Every time,when you do damage to enemy it will punish you with twice bigger damage!
WhiteRock
March 31, 2014 at 11:06
WhiteRock’s cup of Coffee:
-10 to Moodiness.
+100 to Productivity.
Random chance of Smiling.
“Coffee is a language in itself. – Jackie Chan”
SmurFyZA
March 31, 2014 at 12:02
“Murphy’s Orb of completeness”
+ Free upgrade to Reaper of Souls: Collectors Edition
+ Enemy will feel the Wrath of Murphy’s Law
(This orb will complete the game for you and stop you from ever playing again. Murphy’s Law?)
boondocksaint87
March 31, 2014 at 12:12
“Nkandla Blade”
+ 99.9% to deal corruption damage
+ 500% Extra gold drops from human enemies
+ 66.6% chance to fling poo at enemies
boondocksaint87
March 31, 2014 at 12:17
“Helm of shame”
+ Makes all items equipped invisible
+ Occasionally hides shame
Jason
March 31, 2014 at 13:05
“The ring of MY PRECIOUS”
When equipped and killing any BOSS they will Say
SmurFyZA
March 31, 2014 at 15:53
“Nokia 3310”
+ Invulnerability
(If bored, wearer can play Snake)
Unavengedavo
April 1, 2014 at 10:58
Birthday
+1 to age
“It’s my party, I can cry if I want to”
3easel_3k
April 1, 2014 at 23:18
Sliver of Skynet
1 handed dagger
Damage 600-800
+500 Strength
+20 Resistance to all elements
Revives character when below 10% life
“I’ll be back…”
3easel_3k
April 1, 2014 at 23:21
Showercap
Helmet
-100 Intelligence
Removes all visual effects of poison damage to character.
“Don’t worry I took a shower afterwards!”
3easel_3k
April 1, 2014 at 23:28
The All-Spark
Off-hand
+100010001110 Intelligence
Turns all inventory into minions for 15 seconds that deal 001010% of your damage and they have 10010% of your life, after which they turn against you for 5 seconds.
“It was found deep within in the Cathedral’s crater, its exact location a mystery, as none, who went looking for it ever returned.”
3easel_3k
April 1, 2014 at 23:43
Staff of Loki
2-handed Staff
Damage 700-1534
+289 Intelligence
On crictical hit creates a mirror image of the character, that lasts for 10 seconds, dealing 80% damage and has 50% life
80% chance to turn enemy for 15 seconds of enemy possesses a heart.
“Handed down by Thanos, to Loki, to you…”
Xzavier
June 5, 2014 at 06:45
[Sisqo’s Thong of Thong-Thong-Thongs]
“A Skirt Whose Wearer’s Beneath Wields a Melody of Foul Smells that Overture Between R&B and DAT FUNK.”
+5 to Truck-Like Dumps
+10 to Thighs-Like What,.. What, What?
15% Chance for Dat Booty to Go “DUH-NuH-NUH”