Home Gaming Win a Diablo III: Reaper of Souls Collector’s Edition

Win a Diablo III: Reaper of Souls Collector’s Edition

2 min read
461

Somehow, Blizzard did the impossible and made Diablo III actually fun. They’ve made loot more prevalent and worthwhile, excised that blasted Real Money Auction House, rejigs the boss fights and changes class skills, making the game faster and more rewarding. And the game’s expansion, Reaper of Souls makes it even better. And that, dear lovelies, is why we’re going to give a Collector’s Edition of the expansion to one of you.

ROS

Here’s what’s inside the box:

  • Diablo III helms & weapons
  • Ghost Wolf minion to keep you company on your epic journey
  • Three additional character slots
  • A World of Warcraft companion pet: The treasure goblin
  • SCII crusader-themed battle.net portraits and Malthael themed decals
  • Behind the scenes Blu-ray / DVD two-disc set
  • Hardcover Diablo III: Reaper of Souls art book
  • High quality Malthael themed mouse pad

Want that? It’s quite simple. All you have to do is comment here, telling us what bit of loot you’d love to see in the game. You have to give us the name of your legendary gear, along with its attributes.

Here’re some examples

  • Darryn’s Phallic Dagger
    One-Handed. 
    +10 to Vitality and –37 to Intelligence. User takes extra burn damage.
  • Rince’s Wig of Despair
    Temporarily grants user a soul
  • Valshen’s Bane
    Adds 10/10 to arrow-based attacks to the knee
  • Geoff’s unholy keybaordd of ridicule
    +99 to typos. +35 to grumpiness. 
  • OVG’s Friday night Chalice of beer
    +10 Happiness. – 25 Accuracy. +50 Hilarity. + 3000 Rant
  • Zoe’s cursed paintbrush 
    Removes user’s ability to use Photoshop
  • Erwinn’s entirely pointless Banhammer 
    +0 to all stats. 

I don’t know why anybody would want this loot – but you get the idea. Have fun, be creative. Try not to be too mean. You’re allowed multiple entries, with one comment per entry. Competition closes next week Wednesday 2 April, after which we’ll randomly draw from entries that meet the criteria. Please use a registered disqus ID to comment, or we’ll not be able to find you.

Oh yes. Terms and conditions. The competition is only open to those who reside within South Africa. Competition winner will be announced on Lazygamer.net and emailed. Prize may take some time after that to reach the winner.

Last Updated: March 26, 2014

461 Comments

  1. Pieter Kruger

    March 26, 2014 at 12:07

    “The Uncornerible Amulet of Uncornerability”
    Wearer will never get killed in a corner……NEVER!

    Reply

  2. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:07

    “Darryn’s Phallic Dagger ” lol

    Reply

    • Rince

      March 26, 2014 at 12:17

      0-O

      Reply

  3. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 12:08

    Wrath of the Ultimate Squirrel:
    Legendary two-handed sword
    +400 strength
    +Increases damage caused by Cleave by 5%
    Chance on hit to cause rabid squirrels to attack all enemies with 5 yards and increase gold drop by 10%

    Reply

  4. El Capitan del Blade

    March 26, 2014 at 12:08

    >The Dragonforce
    Two Handed Axe
    200% increased Attack Speed
    Additional Fire Damage.
    Increases Character Hair length
    Projects Aura of “Totally Metal”

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 13:39

      Needs ten episodes to power up.

      Reply

      • El Capitan del Blade

        March 26, 2014 at 13:45

        Wrong Dragon…

        Referencing This one: http://youtu.be/0jgrCKhxE1s

        Reply

        • Jedi JJ

          March 26, 2014 at 13:46

          Ah shit.
          And this from someone who listens to Dragonforce.
          I feel like I’ve failed metal today.

          Reply

          • El Capitan del Blade

            March 26, 2014 at 13:51

            You hath Failed, The Knights Of Power Metallania will have to smite thee… or something… Or, just watch the video for redemption…. 😛

          • Jedi JJ

            March 26, 2014 at 13:56

            Can’t open YouTube at work. But at least have a few music vids on my portable hdd here.

          • El Capitan del Blade

            March 26, 2014 at 14:02

            On the Plus side, you don’t have to deal with youtube ads…

          • HvR

            March 26, 2014 at 14:03

            LOL, you should switch to lead free eyeliner

          • Jedi JJ

            March 26, 2014 at 14:05

            I deserve that.

          • Rince

            March 26, 2014 at 14:03

            Oh man. Flay thy body with gauge 6 base strings till pacified.

  5. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:08

    Admiral’s BanHammer
    +10 wootness

    Reply

  6. N@te

    March 26, 2014 at 12:08

    “Mohawk of Awesomeness”

    -10 to sex appeal
    +50 Zef

    Reply

  7. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:08

    Brenda’s skirt
    -10 Manliness

    Reply

  8. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:09

    Cleo’s eyeliner
    +5 deception
    -5 Manliness

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 12:46

      Hey! That’s uncalled for. And it got the most likes. Damn you all!

      EDIT: I have a beard the size of your pet, so that adds manliness.

      Reply

      • Kensei Seraph

        March 26, 2014 at 12:50

        Quick makeup a new better weapon and get the most likes yourself. 😛

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          March 26, 2014 at 12:53

          makeup lol – was that an intentional pun?

          Reply

          • Kensei Seraph

            March 26, 2014 at 12:54

            Only realized after I’d finished typing the makeup.

          • Jedi JJ

            March 26, 2014 at 12:57

            I was staring at that for a while trying to figure if it was intentional

      • Rince

        March 26, 2014 at 13:43

        Another like *RUNS

        Reply

  9. Hammersteyn

    March 26, 2014 at 12:10

    Bwahahahaha, classic. Especially Erwinn’s entirely pointless Banhammer and Rince’s Wig of Despair.

    Reply

  10. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:11

    Zoe’s ( . )( . )

    +500 Lagz swoon

    Reply

  11. Rikus

    March 26, 2014 at 12:11

    Rikus’ Underwear of Awesomeness
    +100 Internet points
    200% increase in comfort
    100% increase in support
    Makes wearer immune to poison gas

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:13

      Hahaha, internal filters I presume?

      Reply

      • Rikus

        March 26, 2014 at 12:16

        Indeed!

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

          March 26, 2014 at 12:17

          RAD RESIST +50?

          Reply

          • Rikus

            March 26, 2014 at 12:17

            Awesome idea! Adding

  12. Hammersteyn

    March 26, 2014 at 12:11

    FoxhoundR’s wand of ignorance.
    + 10 Gullibility

    + 50 Caps Locks ability

    – 1000 Common Sense

    Reply

  13. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:11

    The Rage of Gavin
    +50 rage
    chance to critically fail

    Reply

  14. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 12:11

    Unpredictable Batman:
    Helm
    +25% chance of someone else randomly getting this item, except for Zoe

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:12

      OOOOOOO nice!!!

      Reply

    • Sageville

      March 26, 2014 at 13:54

      +10 Voice Raspiness

      Reply

  15. Umar hearts Grandia

    March 26, 2014 at 12:11

    OH MY GOD
    Valshen’s Bane
    Adds 10/10 to arrow-based attacks to the knee
    I can’t stop laughing

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:12

      hahahaha same here!
      DAFUQ?

      Reply

  16. Marius Nell

    March 26, 2014 at 12:12

    Pistorius Pistol crossbow of freedom – +1000 to evade skill

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:12

      …chance of critical fail if user speaks

      Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      March 26, 2014 at 12:12

      -1000 to walking

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

        March 26, 2014 at 12:12

        oh snap!

        Reply

      • Sageville

        March 26, 2014 at 13:55

        You sir, are going to hell…. cya there!

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          March 26, 2014 at 14:12

          😉

          Reply

  17. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:13

    Steve’s hat of fly-warding (g’day)
    +10 survivability

    Reply

  18. Umar hearts Grandia

    March 26, 2014 at 12:13

    Zoe’s Amulet of Illusion
    Adds -100 points to Photoshop skills

    Reply

  19. Spathi

    March 26, 2014 at 12:14

    “MSSA ring of #”
    Place-holder ring, will maybe sometime in the future be useful,currently does nothing.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:14

      Cursed as well

      Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 12:15

      Place-holder ring, will maybe sometime in the future be useful (maybe),currently does nothing.
      *Fixed

      Reply

  20. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:14

    [Admiral Chief Stamp of Approval]

    Pointless, but well sought after

    Reply

  21. Hammersteyn

    March 26, 2014 at 12:14

    Zuma’s seat of power.
    + 100 makes a countries currency worthless when uttering words
    + 500 evading rape charges
    – 1000 running a country

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:16

      LOL @ “evading rape charges”

      More like evading most charges

      Reply

  22. Marius Nell

    March 26, 2014 at 12:15

    Nkandla gloves – adds 500% goldfind and gater 14% gold tax from other players

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:15

      Lol

      Reply

  23. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 12:15

    The Lazygamer:
    Neck
    -50% attack speed
    +200% experience gained from Monster kills and quests
    +Aura of awesomeness
    Chance on hit to hurl a sleeping pacman at the enemy causing 350% weapon damage and dazing them

    Reply

  24. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:15

    Mouse and Keyboard of the Master Race
    +5000000000000 gaming ability

    Reply

  25. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 12:15


    Darryn’s Phallic Dagger
    One-Handed.
    +10 to Vitality and –37 to Intelligence. User takes extra burn damage.

    What is this? A dagger for ants? 😛

    Reply

  26. Kensei Seraph

    March 26, 2014 at 12:15

    Kensei’s Katana
    Katana
    +15 to Procrastination
    Maybe be wielded with one or two hands.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:16

      I’ll help you with that, tomorrow

      Reply

  27. Umar hearts Grandia

    March 26, 2014 at 12:16

    Malema’s Red Hat of Infamy
    Item Description: “That’s Raceest”
    Attribute: +50 Thievery -50 INT

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 12:16

      Alt description: “Bloody agent.”

      Reply

      • Umar hearts Grandia

        March 26, 2014 at 12:17

        That’s Malema’s Youth league Hat of Infamy….Very rare item

        Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:16

      -500000000000 INT
      *fixed

      Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      March 26, 2014 at 12:17

      Oh Snap you posted before me.

      Reply

      • Umar hearts Grandia

        March 26, 2014 at 12:17

        Were you thinking something along the same lines? lol

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          March 26, 2014 at 12:23

          Not quite, posted it anyways.

          Reply

  28. Brenz

    March 26, 2014 at 12:16

    Greaves of Colin Webster
    + 100 Ignorance
    +100 Douchebaggery
    – 100 Public Image
    User loses 50% gold upon equip for legal fees

    Reply

  29. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 12:16

    If there’s one comp I really wanna win… it’s this one lol

    Reply

  30. Hammersteyn

    March 26, 2014 at 12:16

    Julias Malemas Beret.
    -100 to combat skill
    -100 English language
    -100 mental capacity
    +500 douche power

    Reply

  31. Rince

    March 26, 2014 at 12:17

    Leather trousers….

    Reply

  32. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:17

    Rince’s Ingwer
    No description needed
    😛

    Reply

    • Rince

      March 26, 2014 at 12:20

      No one would be able to handle that 😛

      Reply

  33. Marius Nell

    March 26, 2014 at 12:17

    Rubber pant of goverment issue – wearer’s movements speed gains a toi toi affect but wearer gets permant poisoned (AIDS)

    Reply

  34. AbuZoR

    March 26, 2014 at 12:18

    “Jay Wilsons Word”

    -10 Respect
    Once was a man that said ‘F*ck that loser’

    Reply

  35. elNielio

    March 26, 2014 at 12:18

    Ring of Luck
    +100% chance to win competition
    I really hope this works

    Reply

    • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

      March 26, 2014 at 12:37

      Would be funny if this was the winning comment 😛

      Reply

  36. Rince

    March 26, 2014 at 12:19

    A jar of Lightening’s Le Sighs, to be used to depress the enemy into submission…
    Happiness dampener +100

    Reply

  37. Umar hearts Grandia

    March 26, 2014 at 12:19

    Zuma’s Elixir of Eternal Life
    Item Description: Contains regular shower water. Cures any negative status effects.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:19

      XD

      Reply

  38. Marius Nell

    March 26, 2014 at 12:19

    Julius red cap of corruption – grants the wearer a increase in audio volume by 50% but does nothing else

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:20

      -50000000 INT as well

      Reply

  39. Kensei Seraph

    March 26, 2014 at 12:20

    Pistorius’ Leg
    Damage: 3 to 10
    Durability: 15 of 100
    Required Level: 95
    Mace Class – Very Fast Attack Speed

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      March 26, 2014 at 12:23

      hahahaha

      Reply

    • Sageville

      March 26, 2014 at 13:59

      …. Chance on hit – Sound like a gunshot
      …. Chance on hit – Sound like a Cricket Bat

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

        March 26, 2014 at 14:01

        I put it to you…

        Reply

      • Eric

        March 26, 2014 at 15:06

        And screaming like a girl?

        Reply

  40. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 12:20

    The ION:
    Chest Armor
    -100 Intellegence
    +75% Monster spawn

    Changes your character into a hot looking woman with weirdly placed banners across it

    Reply

  41. Kagutsuchi

    March 26, 2014 at 12:21

    Ring of Server Protection
    -Gives protection from Error 37

    Reply

  42. AbuZoR

    March 26, 2014 at 12:22

    “Cain’s cane of overwhelming knowledge”

    +5000 Intelligence
    -50 Straight back
    *Chance to summon Cain as an ally that will retell many many stories

    Reply

  43. xMATTx

    March 26, 2014 at 12:23

    The Master race’s PC
    Full Chest Plate (Heavy Armour)
    +10 to Smugness and –5 to gold dropped.
    User takes no damage from console players.

    Reply

  44. Marius Nell

    March 26, 2014 at 12:23

    Green armour of the 6 – Gains wearer the chance to summon Madiba magic

    Reply

  45. Sean Scorer

    March 26, 2014 at 12:23

    “Uncomfortable boots of BDSM”
    Run/Walk speed -90%
    Aura of fear – Minions flee battle if your health drops
    below 50%

    Reply

    • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

      March 26, 2014 at 12:24

      Needs a safe word to remove O_o

      Reply

      • VampyreSquirrel

        March 26, 2014 at 12:28

        lol!

        Reply

  46. Morne Nell

    March 26, 2014 at 12:23

    Oscars gun of walls
    +200% change of shooting through walls and killing its victims instantly

    ZUMAS Helmet of usefulness
    Does absolutely nothing and I mean nothing but you are forced to wear it once picked up

    Malemas Revenge amulet
    Once you pick this up your stats will drop by 3000% immediately never to be restored

    ANC Ring of stealing
    When playing in multiplayer every hit point your Friend takes you Gain in Gold

    Reply

  47. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 12:24

    Zuckerberg Gold Pouch

    Buys all the things

    Reply

  48. Rags

    March 26, 2014 at 12:24

    Rags’s Rags
    -100% gold find
    +0 Armour.
    +35 Car Wash

    Reply

  49. spl0it

    March 26, 2014 at 12:24

    Lawsuit of Lazygamer (Scroll)
    -50% Gold
    +50% Rage

    Reply

  50. Mark Slabberts

    March 26, 2014 at 12:24

    Axe of Metallica
    +100 to crit chance
    +200 to each stat
    The user will be clouded in a mist of awesome ( like rainbows) =)

    Reply

  51. xMATTx

    March 26, 2014 at 12:24

    The full PS4 Shield
    Tower Shield
    +15 to Defence and 1080p vision.
    User takes no damage from XBONE players.

    Reply

  52. Brenz

    March 26, 2014 at 12:25

    Greatsword of Gingers Bane
    Steals soul upon lethal strike, if target has no soul, banish to SA Parliament for eternity.

    Reply

  53. Rince

    March 26, 2014 at 12:26

    Erwinn’s entirely pointless Banhammer
    +0 to all stats. BWAHHAHA

    Reply

  54. Gareth L (That eXCheez Guy)

    March 26, 2014 at 12:26

    Darryn’s Crest of Mormon (AKA The Dormant Mormon)
    • Reduces Death Metal Volume

    • Sets Ringtone to “Walking on Sunshine”
    • Feeds Pet Cat the Souls of Children every 24 minutes

    Reply

  55. Umar hearts Grandia

    March 26, 2014 at 12:26

    Zuma’s Spear of Love
    Causes nearby creeps to go agro
    Has been used numerous times and is beginning to show it’s age.

    Reply

  56. Rince

    March 26, 2014 at 12:26

    I also call that regulars here stand as much chance as Trevor pulling Miranda Kerr as winning ;(

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 12:28

      Sounds about right.

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        March 26, 2014 at 13:00

        I agree.

        Reply

  57. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 12:27

    Icecream Man’s Helm
    Instills fear on all who gazes upon it

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 12:27

      Rename it Icecream Man’s Visage.

      Reply

      • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

        March 26, 2014 at 12:28

        It has been done

        Reply

  58. Rikus

    March 26, 2014 at 12:28

    Charlie’s Tiger Blood
    +1000 Winning
    +50 Immunity to drugs
    -150 Sanity
    100% attractiveness to Goddesses

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:30

      hahaha

      Reply

  59. Kyle Mills

    March 26, 2014 at 12:28

    Aiden’s one ring of power: strength, dexterity, health and evilness 300,orcs released into world upon wearing, all seeing eye unveils maps, weaknesses: hobbits and broken swords

    Reply

  60. Umar hearts Grandia

    March 26, 2014 at 12:28

    Geoff’s Sword of the East
    Looks the same as any other sword from that region

    Reply

  61. Michael Prinsloo

    March 26, 2014 at 12:28

    Zaks beard of awesomeness
    +20 to Strength
    May cause girls to swarm

    Reply

  62. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 12:29

    Mantle of #ForeverSP
    -100% chance of pro-creating

    Reply

    • HvR

      March 26, 2014 at 13:11

      Dammit you beat me to it.
      OVG’s Cloak of #ForeverSP
      +10 on all one-handed skills

      Reply

    • Ultimo_Cleric N7

      March 26, 2014 at 13:12

      +10000% gold

      Reply

  63. AbuZoR

    March 26, 2014 at 12:29

    “Machine gun of pain”

    +5000000 damage as fire
    *Shoot to kill

    Reply

  64. Verrayne

    March 26, 2014 at 12:29

    “Cartman’s stick of Boar killing”

    You gain xp killing boars irrespective of your level.

    Reply

  65. Jan-Adriaan Korff

    March 26, 2014 at 12:29

    The Holy Grail
    “Oh no wait, I’ve already got one”

    Reply

  66. AbuZoR

    March 26, 2014 at 12:30

    “Diablo’s horn of taming”

    *Allows you to summon Diablo as a rideable mount

    Reply

    • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

      March 26, 2014 at 12:31

      Does this also need a safe word to remove? O_o

      Reply

  67. MrJackZA

    March 26, 2014 at 12:30

    Gavin’s Amulet of Judgement

    +230 Likeability
    -85% Lawyer fees

    If Gavin wins the fight, destroy this amulet along with the MSSA

    Reply

  68. Ryan Quevauvilliers

    March 26, 2014 at 12:31

    Unholy mullet helm of doom
    -1000 to intellect
    +10 damage
    Over 9000 style.

    Reply

    • The D

      March 26, 2014 at 12:38

      +5 to Achy Breaky heart attack.

      Reply

  69. Morne Nell

    March 26, 2014 at 12:32

    Console sword of awesomeness: Detect if your a PC gamer if so it cause the dreaded blue screen of death.

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 12:34

      you’re*

      Grammar Nazi’s Uniform
      Cloth Armour
      Grants grammar correction.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

        March 26, 2014 at 12:34

        HAHAHA

        Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 12:34

      Boot of power
      +99 to foot in ass of console gamer

      Reply

  70. Kensei Seraph

    March 26, 2014 at 12:33

    Towel
    Damage: 45 to 65
    +25 toxic gas resistance.
    Provides warmth.
    Provides bedding.
    Can be used as a sail.
    Provides access to toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc from others.

    “Just about the most massively useful thing any interstellar Hitchhiker can carry.”

    Reply

    • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

      March 26, 2014 at 12:35

      Epic comment is epic 😀

      Reply

    • Umar hearts Grandia

      March 26, 2014 at 12:37

      Hahaha yeah buddy!!!

      Reply

  71. Morne Nell

    March 26, 2014 at 12:34

    ORB of the Easter bunny: Instantly transform the game to Diablo 4

    Reply

  72. Gerhard Davids

    March 26, 2014 at 12:34

    Here we go:

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 12:38

      Nicely done.

      Reply

    • Lardus-Resident Perve

      March 26, 2014 at 16:05

      Love the DPS of 69…

      Reply

  73. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 12:34

    Cyrus Wrecking Ball of Doom
    -Hides Armor
    -Paired with Cyrus Hammer of saliva causes tongue to permanently petrude from one’s face

    Reply

  74. Herman

    March 26, 2014 at 12:35

    Gavin’s Righteous Deflector
    Increases defence to block 120% of incoming attack damage

    Reply

  75. Kromas

    March 26, 2014 at 12:35

    Batman’s Cape of the Week
    +1000 dps but only when the night is yours
    Item can’t be dyed except with black or at the very least dark grey.
    Allows you to be emo but still awesome.
    +100% magic item drop
    -10000 Gold per monster kill
    Only lasts a week but you never know when you get it again.
    “I am the bat.The night is mine!”-Batman

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 12:37

      Ridiculously expensive.
      Requirements: Must have been tragically orphaned.

      Reply

  76. AbuZoR

    March 26, 2014 at 12:36

    “AbuZoR’s Lottery Ticket”

    *Gives player 100% chance to win Diablo III: Reaper of Souls Collector’s Edition

    Reply

  77. Noodlez49

    March 26, 2014 at 12:37

    “Bunny Slippers of Inconceivable Intent”
    Feet
    +10 Comfort
    -12 Street Rep
    +55 Distraction

    +10% Critical Strike Chance due to distraction

    Reply

  78. Grimthwacker

    March 26, 2014 at 12:38

    Lardus’ Boots of Pervyness…. +20% Stealth, +15% at successful perving.

    Reply

  79. Doug

    March 26, 2014 at 12:38

    Foculus head gear
    + 100% gold
    – all privacy

    Reply

    • Kromas

      March 26, 2014 at 12:40

      Add Facebook integration while equipped

      Reply

  80. Zack

    March 26, 2014 at 12:39

    THE STICK OF TRUTH
    +500 Intelligence
    +500 Dexterity
    +500 Strength
    +100% to attack speed
    +10% chance to summon Cartman to cast a Blast Fart
    +10% chance to summon The Chef to cast Salty Balls of destruction
    +10% chance to summon Kenny for a Kamikaze attack. (Yes Kenny always dies)

    Reply

  81. Kensei Seraph

    March 26, 2014 at 12:40

    Ancient Master’s Scroll
    Teaches skill Ero Stealth.

    Reply

  82. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 12:40

    Indestructible Ring of Rince:
    This item will never break, but you have a chance of being mugged, getting a concussion or a sprained ankle.

    Reply

  83. Jason Swindon

    March 26, 2014 at 12:40

    Hodor’s leggings of a thousand twerks

    -69 intelligence
    Strikes disgust in the enemy, causing it to flee for up to 47 seconds.

    Reply

    • Spathi

      March 26, 2014 at 12:41

      -10 to dialog – Only dialog option is “HODOR!!”

      Reply

  84. Mark Treloar

    March 26, 2014 at 12:41

    Zoe’s Tome of MAC
    +1000% This games actually works on a MAC
    -1000% Gold because its cheaper to build a PC

    Reply

    • HvR

      March 26, 2014 at 13:24

      -Right click to remove … goddammit

      Reply

  85. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 12:42

    Pointless Comment Competition
    -100% productivity
    +42% meaning of life
    +99.98% Hilarity

    Reply

  86. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 12:43

    Treads of Minecraft:
    -80% movement speed
    -100% armor
    Item turns all monsters into creepers that explode when within 2 blocks of you, you will die.

    Reply

  87. Norm the Horrible

    March 26, 2014 at 12:43

    Horrible Viking Helmet of Problems:

    +101% ERROR 37!

    Reply

  88. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 12:43

    Hipster Glasses
    Doesn’t actually do anything, but can be combined with Zoe’s Tome of MAC to achieve ultimate Hipsterness

    Reply

  89. Spathi

    March 26, 2014 at 12:44

    “EA’s ring of micro-transactions”
    Please pay $5 to see what this ring does.

    Reply

    • Norm the Horrible

      March 26, 2014 at 12:44

      LOL!

      Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 12:45

      *Pays $5*

      EA’s ring of micro-transactions
      Drains 5 gold per second.

      Reply

  90. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 12:46

    I am commenting here in the hopes that my name will show up on the list. That is all I ask.

    Reply

    • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

      March 26, 2014 at 12:47

      You need to make a random weapon comment else you will not be included O_o

      Reply

      • Kensei Seraph

        March 26, 2014 at 12:49

        Random Comment
        +1 chance of winning the D3:RoS CE competition

        Reply

        • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

          March 26, 2014 at 12:52

          Random Reply
          +1 chance of winning the D3:RoS CE competition

          Reply

          • Kensei Seraph

            March 26, 2014 at 12:53

            Well Played
            Congratulates someone else for an excellent comeback.
            +1 chance of winning the D3:RoS CE competition.

          • Jedi JJ

            March 26, 2014 at 12:55

            Achievement unlocked.
            Randomness Reaper

      • Jedi JJ

        March 26, 2014 at 12:52

        Busy busy. The admiral’s comment threw me off.

        Reply

  91. Jason 'Loki' Smith

    March 26, 2014 at 12:47

    “Damaging Axe of Damage” – +1 Damage

    Reply

  92. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 12:47

    Ring of Rick Roll
    It will never give you up, let you down, run around and desert you.It will never make you cry, say goodbye, tell a lie and hurt you
    http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130303164253/ultradragonball/images/7/75/Tumblr_lwizcpFo3q1qjrs4wo1_250.gif

    Reply

    • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

      March 26, 2014 at 14:31

      This wins the internet

      Reply

  93. Norm the Horrible

    March 26, 2014 at 12:47

    Ring of The Master Race:

    -999% Chance of EVER getting HL3!

    Reply

  94. Alien Emperor Trevor

    March 26, 2014 at 12:47

    Cursed Xbone Ring of Reversal
    -10 Intelligence

    Reply

  95. Kensei Seraph

    March 26, 2014 at 12:48

    Shield of the Grumpy Cat
    Defense: 500
    Chance to Block: 99%
    Smite Damage: 50 to 66
    Durability: 200 of 200
    Required Happiness: 0

    Shield crest: http://m.everyeye.it/public/immagini/30052013/c_Notizie-Cinema_notizia-2.jpg

    Reply

  96. Alien Emperor Trevor

    March 26, 2014 at 12:48

    Mighty Sceptre of Imperial Majesty
    Automatic hit, instant win.

    Reply

    • Mark Treloar

      March 26, 2014 at 12:50

      You have spent too much time with:

      The Bottle of Jack
      +100% Delusions of Grandeur

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        March 26, 2014 at 12:52

        Bah, that’s what the Radiant Cloak of Imperial Ego is for – +100% resistance to reality.

        Reply

    • Kromas

      March 26, 2014 at 12:51

      Only countered by your very own Ban Hammer.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

        March 26, 2014 at 13:00

        *Ahem*
        The hammer is MINE

        Reply

        • Jedi JJ

          March 26, 2014 at 13:00

          Show them!!!!!

          Reply

        • Kromas

          March 26, 2014 at 13:02

          Dammit I knew it was an Emperor or Chief that had the damn thing.

          Reply

  97. Marius Nell

    March 26, 2014 at 12:49

    Ring of town portal – adds an immediate voice activated town portal strait to your stach when you utter the words xbox go home

    Reply

  98. Norm the Horrible

    March 26, 2014 at 12:49

    Boots of the Red:

    Randomly transports you to your own island in the sky in Minecraft
    “WTF I DIED!???” – Rince

    Reply

  99. Spathi

    March 26, 2014 at 12:49

    “Spathi’s ring of procrastination”
    Will find out what it does tomorrow, time to comment on Lazygamer first!

    Reply

  100. Umar hearts Grandia

    March 26, 2014 at 12:50

    Miley’s Armor of Insanity
    +100 to Twerking skills

    Reply

  101. Ebrahim Ally

    March 26, 2014 at 12:50

    Oscars crossbow:
    can kill teammates

    Reply

  102. Jason Swindon

    March 26, 2014 at 12:50

    Reins of the Swift Metal MH370
    -100 reliability
    44% chance to make ‘Lost’ a reality
    When cast, has a 20% chance to summon Doctor Jack Shephard to heal your wounds

    Reply

    • Mark Treloar

      March 26, 2014 at 12:53

      Way too soon….maybe never.

      Reply

  103. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 12:51

    Shield of the Lagz Intern:
    Shield
    9000 Armor
    Increases chance of being ragged by 110%
    This item only lasts for 6 Months and then suddenly disappears.

    Reply

  104. Pixel_ninja

    March 26, 2014 at 12:51

    Parallax Kicks [Boots]:

    300-550 Mainstat
    200-450 Vit
    8-12% Increased Movement Speed

    Legendary Affix – For each 10 ft travelled reduce cooldown of [class skill] by .2 seconds

    Reply

  105. Spathi

    March 26, 2014 at 12:52

    “Epic ring of the Titan”
    -Sorry, this ring isn’t available in your region.

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 12:52

      Lol.

      Reply

    • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

      March 26, 2014 at 12:53

      1313 ring
      Sorry this ring will never be available

      Reply

      • Kromas

        March 26, 2014 at 12:54

        Ring of Life Half lived V3.0
        This ring is going to be AWESOME if the rumours are true.

        Reply

  106. Jason Swindon

    March 26, 2014 at 12:52

    RR Martin’s Red Wedding Ring
    100% chance to kill everyone that ever meant something to you

    Reply

  107. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 12:52

    JJ’s Beard of epicness.
    + 10 Charisma

    Reply

  108. Marius Nell

    March 26, 2014 at 12:54

    Shield of the dark souls – gains +100% fun but loses all levels upon death

    Reply

  109. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 12:54

    Emperor Trevor’s Coat of Humbleness
    + 10 Exaggeration
    – 10 Defence

    Reply

  110. Jason Swindon

    March 26, 2014 at 12:56

    Kenny’s scepter of Resurrection

    95% chance to revive any player after 20 minutes
    Has a 20% chance infect wielder with the curse of a thousand Hussein farts

    Reply

  111. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 12:57

    Usain’s Bolt
    +100 to running

    Reply

  112. Tiaan Pat

    March 26, 2014 at 12:57

    Ring of ADHD
    + 100 Distraction
    – 50 Attention
    10% Chance of squirrels erupting on hit
    + 20% Procrastination

    Reply

  113. Diavolo

    March 26, 2014 at 12:57

    [Improbable Walkers of Objects]
    Primary
    *+30% Movement Speed.
    *+400 Resistance to others stupidity

    Secondary
    * Summons an Imp that kills any party player that destroys objects on purpose instead of concentrating on game.
    * For each object destroyed on purpose by another player, removes a percentage of their magic find.

    Reply

  114. Norm the Horrible

    March 26, 2014 at 12:58

    Amulet of Meatloaf:

    It will do anything for you but it wont do that.

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 12:59

      LOL

      Reply

    • Mossel

      March 26, 2014 at 15:30

      LOOL!!! Dude comment of the week!

      Reply

  115. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 12:58

    Gamer’s Hat
    + 10 wisdom
    + 5 strategy
    – 5 agility
    (200% damage received from female enemies)

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 13:01

      Is that what she said?

      Reply

      • Jedi JJ

        March 26, 2014 at 13:02

        Only the good kind of damage. 😉

        Reply

  116. Beast Of Caerbannog

    March 26, 2014 at 12:59

    Ring of Procrastination

    Ehh, I’ll think of the stats tomorrow.

    Reply

  117. Ultimo_Cleric N7

    March 26, 2014 at 12:59

    Amulet of Nkandla

    All other party members sacrifice 23% – 40% of their loot when joining player’s party
    +100% loot from enemies
    +63% chance to evade attacks

    When equipped, gain access to exclusive village with premium loot, potions and other ‘security features’

    Reply

    • Rainman

      March 26, 2014 at 13:01

      New Amulet of Nkandla

      14% of all Gamers loot disappear into a bottomless pit.

      Reply

  118. David Muller

    March 26, 2014 at 12:59

    Hammer of Baysplosion

    +100% damage

    Causes everything it hits to explode in over the top impressive CGI carnage

    Reply

    • Kromas

      March 26, 2014 at 13:00

      And excessive lens flare causing your gpu to overheat. (But boy did it look awesome!)

      Reply

  119. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 13:00

    Ring of “The Stranger”
    If you know what I mean

    Reply

  120. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 13:01

    That’s what She said(scroll)
    Can be used with almost anything

    Reply

  121. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 13:01

    Banhammer, nuff said

    Reply

  122. David Muller

    March 26, 2014 at 13:02

    Shield of MSSA
    +200% to dodge questions
    +500% to avoid accountability
    -350% to fulfilling assumed responsibilities

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 13:11

      Once equipped, loses all knowledge of quest.

      Reply

  123. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 26, 2014 at 13:03

    Hammer of Roux
    +100 putting it to you

    Reply

  124. Kensei Seraph

    March 26, 2014 at 13:03

    Slenderman’s Suit
    Prevents all damage that would be done to you.
    Kills enemies if they look at you for 2 seconds.
    Allows teleportation behind enemies.

    If in a dark area enemies will be terrified.
    All allies become enemies.
    All NPCs become enemies.

    Reply

  125. PestControl

    March 26, 2014 at 13:04

    Colin W.’s Impeccable Tinfoil hat of Logic (part 1 of 5 piece set):
    Primary
    * -99999999 Intelligence (Included on every set item)
    * Proves you have no-life
    * -100000 resistance to Internet Trolls
    * +1337^1337 People that will hate you forever
    * +1000000 to douchebaggyness

    (2) Set:
    * Adds automatic e-mail notifications whenever Colin W’s name is mentioned on LazyGamer
    (3) Set:
    * Create a mirror image of yourself going by the alias of M. Mosotho allowing you to create blog posts which praise Colin W’s lack of intelligence
    (4) Set:
    * Adds ability to sue who ever you want, whenever you want

    Required Level: 1

    Reply

    • Norm the Horrible

      March 26, 2014 at 13:04

      Brilliant!

      Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 13:05

      Well Played
      Congratulates someone else for an excellent comeback.
      +1 chance of winning the D3:RoS CE competition.
      The bonuses of multiple Well Played do not stack.

      Reply

  126. Norm the Horrible

    March 26, 2014 at 13:04

    Hammer of MC:

    No, seriously. You can’t touch this.

    Reply

  127. Rainman

    March 26, 2014 at 13:05

    Batman of the week Amulet

    Nobody knows how it works…

    Reply

    • Kromas

      March 26, 2014 at 13:06

      Hell I don’t even know what an Amaulet is 😛

      Reply

      • Kensei Seraph

        March 26, 2014 at 13:06

        It’s the scientific term for the batnipples.

        Reply

      • Rainman

        March 26, 2014 at 13:06

        Fixed already 🙂

        Reply

  128. KingKappie

    March 26, 2014 at 13:06

    One-Handed.
    +10 to Vitality and –37 to Intelligence. User takes extra burn damage.
    Rince’s Wig of Despair
    Temporarily grants user a soul
    Valshen’s Bane
    Adds 10/10 to arrow-based attacks to the knee
    Geoff’s unholy keybaordd of ridicule
    +99 to typos. +35 to grumpiness.
    OVG’s Friday night Chalice of beer
    +10 Happiness. – 25 Accuracy. +50 Hilarity. + 3000 Rant
    Zoe’s cursed paintbrush
    Remove’s user’s ability to use Photoshop
    Erwinn’s entirely pointless Banhammer
    +0 to all stats.

    DID I WIN?

    Reply

  129. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 13:06

    Lazygamer Shirt of Bacon
    – Can call on any and all allies in area
    – Might attract wild animals

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 13:07

      Well Played
      Congratulates someone else for an excellent comment.
      +1 chance of winning the D3:RoS CE competition.
      The bonuses of multiple Well Played do not stack.

      Reply

    • Rainman

      March 26, 2014 at 13:07

      But not to attract creatures of the fairer sex

      Reply

      • Kensei Seraph

        March 26, 2014 at 13:08

        Lol

        Reply

      • Jedi JJ

        March 26, 2014 at 13:09

        Only the tame ones.

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          March 26, 2014 at 13:15

          There are tame ones?

          Reply

          • Jedi JJ

            March 26, 2014 at 13:17

            I’ve only heard the legends.

  130. HvR

    March 26, 2014 at 13:07

    Gavin’s Club of Investigation
    +10000% damage if target is a MSSA member

    Reply

  131. Ultimo_Cleric N7

    March 26, 2014 at 13:07

    Moyes chest plate of coaching:

    Gain Aura of Fegusson’s shadow: all minions in distance of player loose all attack skills

    -88 defense
    -12 intelligence
    +50 second lag when using a shout (warrior only)
    Gain + 78 magic ‘ignorance’ armor

    +10000000 gold while equipped.

    Reply

  132. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 13:08

    Timsters Rake of Rejection
    Returns your attributes to 1
    If passing start, do not collect $200.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 13:08

      LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

      Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 13:09

      Because no one wants to be the shoe.

      Reply

  133. NickyH

    March 26, 2014 at 13:11

    Hanna’s Legendary Pants Of Twerking
    -100 intelligence
    +200 physical damage reflected

    +10 Fortune
    Adds Fire Damage

    Reply

  134. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 13:13

    Apple Hippie Selfie
    + 10 FB likes
    – 100 respect
    – intelligence returns to 0
    (80% chance of being recruited by the government)

    Reply

  135. Lardus-Resident Perve

    March 26, 2014 at 13:15

    Lardus’ Perversions

    Legendary 2-handed mighty weapon, 2-hand, Barbarian only

    [1,021.1-1,327.0] DPS
    [892-1,095]-[1,150-1,560] Damage
    1.00 Attacks per Second
    +50% Damage
    +1000 Vitality
    +100% damage against male enemies
    -50% all resistances against female enemies
    Lardus could ward off any enemy with his mighty hammer, as long as they were male. The hammer seemed to invite female enemies in closer than some would find comfortable

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 13:15

      There he is!

      Reply

    • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

      March 26, 2014 at 13:16

      I didn’t know Midgets were barbarians *runs*

      Reply

      • Jedi JJ

        March 26, 2014 at 13:16

        I believe the correct term is dwarf. Just look at the man’s avatar.

        Reply

        • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

          March 26, 2014 at 13:18

          Was referring to the point that a midget’s hands makes anything look bigger than it really is 😛

          Reply

          • Jedi JJ

            March 26, 2014 at 13:18

            I can’t disrespect a fellow bearded man 😉

          • Lardus-Resident Perve

            March 26, 2014 at 13:21

            In Thailand (where I spent last week), everybody has tiny hands!

          • Jedi JJ

            March 26, 2014 at 13:22

            Yes. But not all women are really women.

          • Lardus-Resident Perve

            March 26, 2014 at 13:24

            Problem being? ROFL
            Lardus’s boots of fleet footedness
            Can outrun any woman of suspicious biological construction
            +50% chance to c-block

          • Jedi JJ

            March 26, 2014 at 13:27

            Haha.

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          March 26, 2014 at 13:18

          Is that a male or female dwarf? According to Terry Pratchett you can’t tell by looking :/

          Reply

          • Jedi JJ

            March 26, 2014 at 13:19

            Oh yes. I remember that.
            Look deep into their eyes, if you’re straight and you feel uneasy, it’s a male.

          • Kensei Seraph

            March 26, 2014 at 13:23

            Or you are secretly gay.

    • HvR

      March 26, 2014 at 13:17

      +Provides instant Google image search on any female within proximity

      Reply

      • Lardus-Resident Perve

        March 26, 2014 at 13:18

        That is on my “great helm” that also makes me 99% immune to diseases 😉

        Reply

        • Rainman

          March 26, 2014 at 13:21

          Considering the reaction to certain kind of females – going to need that helm for protection against certain diseases

          Reply

    • Sageville

      March 26, 2014 at 14:11

      +100 Beard

      Reply

  136. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 13:15

    The Treads of Norris:

    You do not find them, they’ll find you.

    Reply

  137. PaPa

    March 26, 2014 at 13:16

    PaPas Amulet of Roftos

    Primary
    Increase attack speed by 30%
    Critical squirt chance increased by 15%
    Increase Ejaculation damage by 8%

    Secondary
    +20 Fury regeneration per handstroke
    Monster Kill grants epic experience

    Reply

  138. HansieSlimJouMaWilKlim

    March 26, 2014 at 13:19

    Gooney’s crutches of crippliing

    Primary

    Decrease walking speed by 70%

    Stair climb rate -113%

    Chance to stagger 100%

    Secondary

    +50 Bicep inflation over time

    BONUS

    Critical Ankletap chance +60%

    Reply

  139. HvR

    March 26, 2014 at 13:20

    Timmy’s dog whistle
    One time use equipment
    Provides escape when trapped in well
    95% chance of turning user in to female character called Tanya

    Reply

  140. Melasco

    March 26, 2014 at 13:20

    Ring of Dark Souls
    – Increases Monster Level to 500
    – Fills all doorways with fog

    Reply

  141. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 13:21

    Tim’s deception dice
    Once thrown, turns player into Tanya.
    Sneak +100

    Reply

  142. Sageville

    March 26, 2014 at 13:25

    Reminds me of my Wow days when I was trying to convince my raid leader that the Legendary Quel’Serrar was in fact a Paladin weapon….

    http://mysite.mweb.co.za/residents/cangus/quail.jpg

    Reply

  143. Michael

    March 26, 2014 at 13:26

    Ring of the mother-in-law
    Summons your mother in law to bitch at enemies forcing them to run away in fear

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 13:27

      You lose 40% of your max health.

      Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 13:27

      Mine doesn’t even have a ring on and that happens.

      Reply

    • Michael

      March 26, 2014 at 13:55

      Earplugs of the mother in law (to compete the set)
      when all the monsters ran away you will need some form of protection :p

      Reply

  144. Michael

    March 26, 2014 at 13:28

    Wand of Currency changer
    Allows you to purchase games on battle.net in US Currency instead of Euro.

    Reply

  145. Louwrens Haasbroek

    March 26, 2014 at 13:28

    Armor of Lucien, Legendary Chest Armor 624 Armor

    +0.37 Attacks Per Second

    +23% Damage

    +269% Armor

    +25 Cold Resistance

    +45 Attack

    Requires Level 60

    Durability: 25

    Reply

  146. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 13:29

    Steam’s Ring of Fair prices.
    -Sales. Sales everywhere.

    Reply

  147. HvR

    March 26, 2014 at 13:29

    Assassin’s Orb of Completeness
    – Touch poof dead

    Reply

  148. ZombieDogma

    March 26, 2014 at 13:30

    Schrodinger’s Cat ‘o nine tails:
    50% chance of instant death
    100% cat

    Reply

  149. HvR

    March 26, 2014 at 13:31

    SARS’s Scroll of Online Sales
    + 14% VAT
    +100% sadness

    Reply

  150. Sageville

    March 26, 2014 at 13:35

    The Webster:

    Legendary Shield

    +100 Dodge
    +100 Block
    +100 Tapdancing

    Chance on block – All threat is transferred to closest Puppet.

    Reply

  151. CrypticRage

    March 26, 2014 at 13:36

    “Put it to you staff”
    + 100% popularity
    – 100% intelligence

    Will make you think you never owned a staff at all.

    Reply

  152. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 13:42

    Colonial Marine Cleaver
    Costs the same as other cleavers
    Doesn’t work.
    Looks terrible.
    People point and laugh at you.
    Soils franchise

    Reply

  153. Sageville

    March 26, 2014 at 13:42

    Sageville’s Bong of Infinite Hits

    Legendary Bong

    +10 Eye Redness
    +20 Smart-Assed Ideas
    +100 Munchies
    +100 Paranoia

    Chance on Hit – Have like another hit….Bruu…. Wait… what?

    Reply

  154. PaPa

    March 26, 2014 at 13:43

    ANC Ring of Nkandla

    Primary
    +1 Cattle Kraal
    +1 Chicken Run
    +1 Culvert
    +1 Fire Pool

    Secondary
    Tax Payers Pay

    Reply

  155. Rince

    March 26, 2014 at 13:44

    I don’t think anything it going to beat @Unavengedavo:disqus well done sir, well done!

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 13:45

      I agree. That was damn clever.

      Reply

      • Rince

        March 26, 2014 at 13:48

        According to statistics being clever has to happen to everyone at least once, even @Unavengedavo:disqus Of course he’s wasted that being clevel now. Next time could have been a million dollar question 😉 *RUNS

        Reply

        • Jedi JJ

          March 26, 2014 at 13:50

          Knowing myself. I’d be clever, only maybe half an hour too late.

          Reply

          • Rince

            March 26, 2014 at 13:54

            At least you’d be clever. I’d sit staring at the question with drool coming from my mouth till they carried me off 0-O

        • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

          March 26, 2014 at 13:52

          Typo
          +100% to ruin “clever” insult

          Reply

          • Rince

            March 26, 2014 at 13:53

            See? I told you, even the insults are falling flat now 🙁

    • HvR

      March 26, 2014 at 13:52

      Actually gave me an idea:
      Unavengedavo’s Link to Anything
      +100000 gross damage

      Reply

      • Rince

        March 26, 2014 at 13:53

        Nice!

        Reply

      • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

        March 26, 2014 at 13:54

        HAHAHA

        Reply

      • Jedi JJ

        March 26, 2014 at 13:55

        + 10 anti-corruption xp

        Reply

      • Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

        March 26, 2014 at 13:55

        But what is the net damage? O_o

        Reply

        • HvR

          March 26, 2014 at 14:15

          R2800 for 5 visit to the psychologist, R50 for lunch and R350 for new keyboard

          Reply

  156. HvR

    March 26, 2014 at 13:44

    MS’s Box of One
    +100 heavy damage
    +720p
    -15 logic skill
    – Reverse previously cast spells

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 13:45

      + Kinect add-on
      – 100 privacy

      Reply

    • Sageville

      March 26, 2014 at 13:45

      You forgot… Chance on hit – 60fps, otherwise 30fps

      Reply

  157. Michael Matusowsky

    March 26, 2014 at 13:47

    Sword of Yolo
    Two-Handed.
    +100 to Vitality and -100 to Core Stat. User takes 10000dps while holding the sword.
    Each attack adds 9001 health.
    23% lifesteal.

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 13:47

      Nice

      Reply

  158. UltimateNinjaPandaDudeGuy

    March 26, 2014 at 13:48

    Was going to do this, but I already own one of theses Collector’s Editions *dances*

    Also the expansion and new act is AMAZING! Super epicness! Loving it!

    Reply

  159. Ascobel

    March 26, 2014 at 13:48

    Ascobel’s Beard of Truth
    +1000 laughter when anyone says the last try against the Blues should not have been awarded!

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 13:49

      lol

      Reply

  160. HvR

    March 26, 2014 at 13:50

    Ghostly Staff of COD
    – Same attributes as all other COD equipment
    – Can only be equipped for 4 hours

    Reply

  161. Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

    March 26, 2014 at 13:51

    C’Webster’s soft flail
    +400 BullS!#$
    -200 intelligence
    Unique ability
    Take anyone to court who makes a yo mama joke in global chat

    Reply

  162. Ascobel

    March 26, 2014 at 13:52

    Bryce Lawrences Cape of Incredibility
    -2000 sight
    +15000 gold find (only in Austalasian region)
    +15000 magic find (because my daddy was the head of referees)
    -56 million springbok supporters.
    *Can only be warn if head is shaped like a penis

    Reply

  163. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 13:52

    SA Titanfall Tunic.
    Unattainable.

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 14:09

      Too soon?

      Reply

  164. Ascobel

    March 26, 2014 at 13:54

    Zuma’s glasses of Nkandla
    +sixty hundred four thousand and 6 million power of everything…..He he he

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 13:57

      looooooooooooooooooool

      Well played

      Reply

    • HvR

      March 26, 2014 at 13:59

      + Trigger rage damage with middle finger push up

      Reply

  165. Jonathan van de Wouw

    March 26, 2014 at 13:56

    “The Ermagherd Pheathers of Phteven”
    +50 ranged phkill when casting phpecial elemental twinkle phtars to all phabulous phoes

    Reply

  166. David Muller

    March 26, 2014 at 13:57

    Blades of the Runner
    +200% damage to foes behind doors.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 13:57

      Critical hit!

      Reply

  167. Alphaskater

    March 26, 2014 at 13:57

    what’s the game like?

    Reply

  168. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 13:58

    Ring of competition desperation
    Cursed
    No effect

    Reply

  169. Alphaskater

    March 26, 2014 at 13:59

    Who likes fingerboarding?

    Reply

  170. Rainman

    March 26, 2014 at 14:00

    Jacob’s Ring

    Instant wealth while kissing it.
    +50% immunity of persecution
    +100% get out of jail free card.

    Reply

    • HvR

      March 26, 2014 at 14:01

      +40% chance of female family member becoming next wife

      Reply

  171. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 14:00

    Cloak of flight
    Super effective on aircraft of Malaysian origin…

    Reply

    • Rainman

      March 26, 2014 at 14:01

      Or is that the cloak of invisibility?

      Reply

  172. Jedi JJ

    March 26, 2014 at 14:01

    Peter Griffin’s Belt
    + 100kg carry weight.
    + 100% chance of being attacked by rooster

    Reply

  173. Admiral Chief of Auraxis

    March 26, 2014 at 14:02

    Darryn’s philter of love
    Not even remotely effective

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 14:05

      LOL

      Reply

    • HvR

      March 26, 2014 at 14:07

      Drains bat suit of its masculinity

      Reply

  174. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 14:09

    I think I’ve entered enough… actually my brain shutting down tells me so

    Reply

  175. HvR

    March 26, 2014 at 14:11

    Gabe’s Valve of Creation
    +Damage is half of target’s life
    +1000% level of awesomeness
    +300% weight gain
    -80% cost of PC games
    -Third attack takes for fucking ever

    Requires:
    Master Race Level 20 OR
    Console level 60

    Reply

  176. Bryan Musso

    March 26, 2014 at 14:14

    Amulet of the Mad King Steopus
    2 Handed Sword
    8965 -23426 Damage

    2000-5000 Fire Damage
    2000-5000 Frost Damage

    +200% Damage
    +2000 Vitality

    +2000 Strength
    +2000 Dexterity
    +2000 Intelligence

    Only works in World of Warcraft

    Reply

  177. Kensei Seraph

    March 26, 2014 at 14:14

    Robin’s Gauntlets
    +10% chance of getting Most Comments.

    Reply

  178. Alien Emperor Trevor

    March 26, 2014 at 14:14

    Mac Attack of Deception.
    Disables right-click.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 14:15

      +50 hipster

      Reply

  179. ToshZA

    March 26, 2014 at 14:15

    Armbands of Heavy Metal
    +10 to awesomeness, +20 to deafness, Grants user the ability to wear full facial make up. Can only be dyed black or red. User leaves a trail of blood where he walks.

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 14:21

      Epic finger speeds
      – 100 to caring what other people think

      Reply

  180. Lefornicator

    March 26, 2014 at 14:15

    The Vibralator (Used as mystic weapon by all Nepahelm)

    +50 strength

    +400 Vitality

    -200 dodge

    -100 poison resistance

    +80 movement speed

    Chance to infl. Bleed +35% +35%

    Chance on hit to electrocute and stun enemy until they have climaxed

    Reply

  181. Alphaskater

    March 26, 2014 at 14:15

    I bet the comment i’m typing now… so much people will dislike

    Reply

  182. Torchedqwe

    March 26, 2014 at 14:16

    Crown of never ending E-toll
    + on hit: target’s banking details added to your database
    On every step your character takes randomly debit an enemies gold account that is present on your database. This effect works on enemies even after death or living in other circles of hell. No saving throws are applicable to this debit.

    Reply

  183. ToshZA

    March 26, 2014 at 14:20

    Ultimate Sword of Promiscuity
    +100 to Maccing skill
    +50% Conversion rate on first dates
    +200 to pulling out in time
    +500 to bragging rights.

    Gives user a smug grin every weekend.
    Cursed: Makes all females who’ve experienced the sword, hate the wielder.

    Reply

  184. ToshZA

    March 26, 2014 at 14:23

    The Thinking Cap
    Allows user the ability to use its own brain.

    Recommended use: always.

    Reply

  185. VampyreSquirrel

    March 26, 2014 at 14:24

    Staff of the Lorewalker:
    Summons Lorewalker Cho from World of Warcraft to tell you irrelevant stories about things you really don’t care about but can’t skip because, Pandaren in Diablo.

    Reply

  186. Kieran Luke Druzynski

    March 26, 2014 at 14:27

    Rynski’s Polish Pole
    One-Handed-Sometime-Two-Handed-Staff
    Temporarily enlarge’s all members in Party

    +100 to Hapiness
    +100 to Vigour
    +100 to Libido
    100% Chance to cause Blind(If facing enemy)
    Stats only last 2-3mins
    (Stats will last 7-8mins if holding Pfhizer’s Belt of Everlasting Comings)

    Reply

  187. Alex Hicks

    March 26, 2014 at 14:28

    Humble Bundle of Nostalgia
    +1000 perception
    -100 gold
    +100 charity support

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 14:36

      -5 gold
      Fixed
      🙂

      Reply

      • Alex Hicks

        March 26, 2014 at 14:38

        Actually – should be – any amount of gold the user chooses …

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

          March 26, 2014 at 14:42

          Aye, good guy HumbleBundle

          Reply

  188. ToshZA

    March 26, 2014 at 14:29

    The Ring of Animation
    -100 to sleep
    +100 to creativity
    +500% frustration
    -100 to time

    Allows anyone the ability to change your work on demand without any knowledge of the work or process involved.

    Reply

  189. HvR

    March 26, 2014 at 14:29

    MSSA’s Page of Information
    Index of /
    – cgi-bin/

    Reply

    • ToshZA

      March 26, 2014 at 14:29

      oh BURN!

      Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 14:33

      It’s been updated…
      It’s hosted by freeserver and looks worse than before. O_o

      Reply

      • ToshZA

        March 26, 2014 at 14:39

        I’ve seen better websites done by 12 year olds… Wow that’s horrible.

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

          March 26, 2014 at 14:40

          That is totally pathetic

          Reply

          • ToshZA

            March 26, 2014 at 14:41

            Me or the website? O_o

          • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

            March 26, 2014 at 14:42

            Go to mssa website, have a look, decide which one of the two I decided to call pathetic

            😉

          • ToshZA

            March 26, 2014 at 14:43

            Yeah just needed to clarify there, I don’t cope too well with ambiguity. I have already been, and scarred my eyes.

          • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

            March 26, 2014 at 14:44

            😉

  190. Alex Hicks

    March 26, 2014 at 14:31

    The Denny of Crane
    +100 charisma
    20% chance to avoid all litigation
    binds on equip

    Reply

    • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

      March 26, 2014 at 14:32

      You forgot unique ability ‘Flamingo suit’

      Reply

      • Alex Hicks

        March 26, 2014 at 14:33

        I forgot nothing. I’m Denny Crane. Name’s on the door.

        Reply

        • Sir Rants A Lot Llew. Jelly!!!

          March 26, 2014 at 20:57

          Man I miss that show

          Reply

  191. Eric

    March 26, 2014 at 14:34

    Snaga the Sender – Butterfly axe that a hero used from David Gemmell books.
    – Doesn’t dull
    – Cuts through anything
    – Can kill demons
    – Is demon

    Reply

    • Kensei Seraph

      March 26, 2014 at 14:37

      Swords of Night and Day
      -As above.

      Reply

      • Eric

        March 26, 2014 at 14:39

        Swords of Blood and Fire
        – Literally a copy of the above 😛

        Reply

        • Kensei Seraph

          March 26, 2014 at 14:44

          But with higher stats and a higher chance of demonic possession.

          Reply

          • Eric

            March 26, 2014 at 15:01

            Haha. Actually made my day

          • Kensei Seraph

            March 26, 2014 at 15:07

            Skilgannon the Damned is one of my favourite characters.
            I’m still hoping for a book 3.

          • Eric

            March 26, 2014 at 15:59

            Well David Gemmell died in 2006. So that might be a bit hard to come by. I’m more of a Waylander fan, although I like the simplistic, straight to the point approach of Druss when it comes to things. “Is it right? Protect it” and “Is it wrong? Kill it”.

  192. Bryan Musso

    March 26, 2014 at 14:36

    Jacob Z’s Armour collection

    Jacob Z Shield
    Devastating spell effects cast by public will randomly be redirected to a friendly party member

    Jacob Z Cap of Cleanliness
    Poison will be washed off and the effects will be severely reduced

    Jacob Z Studded Armour of Intelligence
    All intelligence attributes will be changed into Armour shielding you from all thought

    Jacob Z Arm Band of Dipping
    Gold drops from public coffers will yield higher returns

    Reply

  193. Alex Hicks

    March 26, 2014 at 14:37

    Golden Sky
    Allows user to ascend the ladder by at least 7 places in a single season
    May be accompanied by the song of a lark
    (Only available after a very long dark storm. Often found in close proximity to the Moyes Shield/Cape or whatever mentioned a while ago)

    Reply

  194. Alex Hicks

    March 26, 2014 at 14:41

    The Ring of Molyneux
    +1000 boastfulness
    -1000 success
    binds on equip
    -100 reputation every turn

    Reply

    • ToshZA

      March 26, 2014 at 14:42

      “User starts with reputation over 9000.”

      Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 14:42

      Chronic moley-moley starts to grow on face…..

      Reply

      • Alex Hicks

        March 26, 2014 at 14:44

        dammit, now I’m starting to think of Austin Powers themed items … and they are disgusting. O.0

        Reply

  195. Uberutang

    March 26, 2014 at 14:50

    Blizzards spear of dlc

    2 handed

    Instant death to all enemies on screen,
    if presented with a valid credit card

    Reply

  196. ToshZA

    March 26, 2014 at 14:59

    Tiny Tina’s Amulet of AWESOMENESS.
    +100 to psychotic tendencies.
    +1000 to crazy speak. Feel me? Sucka. Suckas. Hehehehehehuehuehuehe.
    +50 to denial.

    Able to make dragons appear and disappear at will.
    All monsters are tied down and blown up on approach.

    Reply

  197. Mossel

    March 26, 2014 at 15:02

    The Eric Cartman Ring of Obesity
    – Adds a 20% chance that people will stop and make fun of your weight, giving you a chance to kill them

    Reply

  198. Freeyourfears

    March 26, 2014 at 15:02

    “The Secret Squirrel amulet”
    +4000 suck blood from your enemy
    +1% to steal money from scare enemy when it is running away.
    +1% to start speaking as a politician
    +1% to make love with your partner (only applicable when you are in a party and drunk)
    “An amulet with the face of a funny squirrel that can fear the most abomination of the hell”

    Reply

  199. Johann

    March 26, 2014 at 15:06

    The Nerf Bat of valour. On each attempt to hit an overpowered creature there is a 5% chance that you will lower his abilities by 10%. (There is also a chance that the developers will deem your character too powerful and nerf the crap out of him)

    Reply

  200. Bevan

    March 26, 2014 at 15:10

    The winning staff of luck(2-Handed)
    +100% win

    “Used to win competitions” – Anonymous

    Reply

  201. Albertus van Rensburg

    March 26, 2014 at 15:15

    The Verb of Truth Bow.
    350% Dexterity increase,
    +35 bleeding damage,
    +40 Strength
    -5 Armor,
    -5 Intelligence,
    -15 Enemy armour
    +100 000 000 Basassness

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 15:17

      What is Basassness precious?

      Reply

      • Albertus van Rensburg

        March 26, 2014 at 15:20

        It makes all enemies cry out in pain and despair “it burnsuss! IT BURNSUSSSSSSS!

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

          March 26, 2014 at 15:21

          lol

          Reply

          • Albertus van Rensburg

            March 26, 2014 at 15:28

            Oh, also, every time you hit an enemy with the bow, the arrow says “this hurts me more than it hurts you”.

  202. Zell Reid Strife

    March 26, 2014 at 15:16

    Name: Stig Suit
    Description: Some say that you can achieve comment of the week with this suit others say that you can gain the weekly Batman Award all we know is you can use it to win the Diablo III competition

    Reply

  203. Zell Reid Strife

    March 26, 2014 at 15:18

    Name: Titanfall (South Africa)
    Description: Only available through select online retailers
    Stats:
    -100000000000% EA and server support in your country

    Reply

  204. Sk3tz0

    March 26, 2014 at 15:23

    Staff of MMORPG
    -100Hr Social Life Steal
    -16 Gold Monthly Subscription
    +100 N00b Rage
    +50% Gold Seller Annoyance
    -30 PVP Ability to your Faction
    0.001% Loot drop on All Item and Gear that you actually need
    Wearer of Staff of MMORPG will uncontrollably Complain about Main Class being Nerfed.
    Accusations of being OP Class
    Unlimited Forum Flamewars

    Reply

  205. Martin de Jager

    March 26, 2014 at 15:23

    the #SELFIE dagger
    has a build in cam
    + 5 megapixel
    when this item is equipped, it gives you the ability to take as many SELFIES as you can while fighting an enemy!!!

    Reply

  206. Deano

    March 26, 2014 at 15:30

    Monday Barman’s Pale Ale [Legendairy!]
    * Makes everyday of the week into a Friday.
    – 85% Productivity
    – 50% off all beers
    + 25% to beer goggles

    Socket item can be filled with beer!

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 15:48

      I support this item!

      Reply

  207. Zell Reid Strife

    March 26, 2014 at 15:37

    Name: The Dragon Blade
    Description: It has a DRAGON on the blade

    Reply

  208. Bryan Musso

    March 26, 2014 at 15:38

    Ok this time something I would actually like to see:

    Unique Item: Amulet of Sheep
    Grants spell that turns creatures into sheep
    Has area effect of 12 yards
    50% chance that herd of sheep will turn into vampire sheep, this will siphon health to caster
    Sheep will attack random creatures
    When sheep dies they explode with random effect
    Has cool down of 2 minutes

    The sheep are the natural enemies of demonic cows and one should never under estimate their will to protect the shepherd from all demon spawn… Anonymous Shepherd

    Reply

  209. $iCK-BOy

    March 26, 2014 at 15:50

    Weapon name: The “Just what you’re looking for”
    Description: Can only be looted from killed enemy, isn’t an 8th of your current weapons strength, doesn’t require a higher level for you to use and is something you’ve been running around looking for for ages. Will possibly grant player a biscuit from time to time or even a head massage to ease his / her travels (Especially getting though Act 1)

    Player: “Whats this? NICE! Its better than what i’m currently using! ….A biscuit? Why thank you. You know what would really help now is a head mass…..oh god that’s good. Just what I was looking for!”

    Reply

  210. boondocksaint87

    March 26, 2014 at 15:52

    Helm of shame
    * Makes all items including underwear invisible
    + Occasionally hides your shame

    Reply

  211. Christiaan de Jongh

    March 26, 2014 at 16:10

    Rapier of Uranus. + 3000 fire damage. -100% movement speed

    Reply

  212. A 2 Cthulhu?

    March 26, 2014 at 16:14

    The Gupta Hammer:

    100-400 Illegal Plane landing dmg.
    100% bonus corruption dmg.
    25% chance to give police bonus money.

    Chance to summon a Zuma that runs away and hides at the first sight of public outcry.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief of Auraxis

      March 26, 2014 at 16:14

      Well done, made me lolz!!!

      Reply

  213. CrasH

    March 26, 2014 at 16:17

    The Coin of Pay-to-Win.
    You can finish any act when you spend the coin, with no skill required and instatntly.

    Reply

  214. CrasH

    March 26, 2014 at 16:21

    The Amulate of faithful pause.
    Grants the ability to pause any online game, but only has 3 uses per day.

    Reply

  215. Scruff304

    March 26, 2014 at 16:22

    The Ring of the Great Cornholio

    + 10 to WTF’s

    If drunk/stoned when skill triggers, then + 200 to uncontrollable laughter.

    Reply

  216. A 2 Cthulhu?

    March 26, 2014 at 16:22

    I give you the Ukrainian Nemesis Weapon.

    Reply

  217. Christopher Stoffel Lubbe

    March 26, 2014 at 16:26

    “Gert se Kettie”
    Legendary Ranged Weapon
    +500 dex
    -200 str
    “Has a chance of raining Dirkies from the sky when killing a monster”

    Reply

  218. OminousRain

    March 26, 2014 at 16:45

    Emo’s Vengeance Dagger
    One-handed
    +457 Vitality
    -50% Vision (Hair covers one eye)
    -75% View Range (Character will keep looking at the ground)
    350% AoE Hatred Dmg
    User suffers constant Bleed Dmg and Self pity
    User has very small change of committing suicide

    Hipsters Bow of Hipping
    Two-Handed
    +50 Dex
    +200% Dodge (Getting hit is so mainstream)
    -50% Vision (Hair covers one eye)
    30% Finding a dungeon before the demons do
    -150% XP
    Kill Creatures Ironically

    Reply

  219. Thomas Christian Koldskål Kjae

    March 26, 2014 at 17:02

    the ultimate pigsticker.

    1 damage
    100000 attacks per second
    every third attack will be crit

    Reply

  220. Ryanza

    March 26, 2014 at 17:13

    “The Stick of DRM”
    Whoever possesses The Stick of DRM, will be granted the most powerful weapon in gaming, the Offline mode.

    Extremely rare item.

    Reply

    • Jedi JJ

      March 26, 2014 at 19:03

      Excellent

      Reply

  221. loftie

    March 26, 2014 at 17:15

    Helm of Listnessness
    +1000 to life when standing still
    +100 to all stats when not using skills
    +500% mana regeneration when not casting

    -5% to everything when moving/casting and using skills

    Reply

  222. kweni16

    March 26, 2014 at 17:30

    Damn I suddenly wished I live in South Africa.

    Reply

  223. GooseZA

    March 26, 2014 at 17:54

    Optimistic sword of Dreaming
    – chance on hit to release Half Life 3

    Reply

  224. Just Saying

    March 26, 2014 at 17:56

    T-shirt of lawlessness:
    * Will throw the matter out of court and grant the wearer actual bacon.

    Reply

  225. Stan Smith

    March 26, 2014 at 18:36

    Cuttlefish loin cover
    +1000 awesomeness
    -1 life

    Reply

  226. Byron Du Pavillon

    March 26, 2014 at 19:22

    “Boots of swag”
    + 300 SWAGNIFICENCE

    Reply

  227. Kevin Chaoseater

    March 26, 2014 at 19:42

    Piercing Thorn:
    Legendary Bow
    +560 Dexterity
    Critical Hit Chance increased by 6%
    Critical Hit Damage increased by 60%

    Your Turrets now shoot twice as fast. Works with Ballistics.

    Reply

  228. David

    March 26, 2014 at 19:42

    Orlando’s slingshot (temporarily diisables all magical abilities and reduces speed by 50%.)

    Reply

  229. Francois

    March 26, 2014 at 19:59

    “Malema’s blade of lawlessness”
    Allows you to pick up your opponents loot

    Reply

  230. Boerseun

    March 26, 2014 at 21:15

    Zuma’s Loincloth of Nkandla. Bestows upon the wearer 290 million gold pieces. Also the power to Summon Firepool. Summon Chicken Run (95% Health damage caused by lunatic pecking order) and Summon Minister of Basic Education. All children sorry enemies lose 150000 intelligence and Votela ANC

    Reply

  231. Mugelbub

    March 26, 2014 at 22:31

    Mmmm lets think the nyan cat shield

    100% chance to annoy some one fot 10hours:P
    100% chance to stun
    50% chance of sleep
    and 250% attack speed bonus

    Reply

  232. David Sanchez

    March 26, 2014 at 23:13

    Magic Underwear: Foes cower in sheer terror.

    Reply

  233. Urf

    March 27, 2014 at 00:09

    Howard’s 1-handed “Stimulus Package” Fist Weapon
    Monk Only
    Dam: 1,002 dps
    – -5 Dex
    – -10 Vit
    – players stuns are 50% less effective
    – player inflicts target with “Butt-Hurt Pay-out” causing enemy’s to bleed for 75% weapon damage and drop gold equal to the bonus damage dealt for the next 7 seconds
    – 2 Slotted

    Rudd’s “Resignation” Tower Shield
    Def: 902
    – +75% chance to dodge
    – player can no longer dodge
    – attack speed increased by 5%
    – 25% chance to fear enemies

    Reply

  234. Bat Micho

    March 27, 2014 at 02:09

    “The hardphone shoulders ”

    Primary

    +550 str
    +600 vit
    +12% run speed
    +20% crit hit chance

    *secondary
    “Whenever you need to take a phone call when you play on hardcore, you gain a protective bubble that absorbs all the damage from the mobs the bubble disappear when you close the phone.”

    Reply

  235. Michael

    March 27, 2014 at 07:48

    Trompie’s Ban Hammer
    Use to instantly ban a character

    Reply

  236. Lloyd

    March 27, 2014 at 07:57

    “Ladies ring of marriage”
    Never loose a fight again
    immune to fire and cold damage
    +100 to all stats that need a boost

    Reply

  237. Craig "Crios" Boonzaier

    March 27, 2014 at 08:19

    “Grumpy Cat of Nine-Tails”
    1 Handed Crusaader F(l)ail

    Primary:
    > +100 to sarcastic comments

    Secondary:
    >You gain and aura of despair, which cause enemy’s to be sad and gloomy, losing the will to fight and not care anymore. However whenever an enemy dodges your attack you lose interest.

    Reply

  238. Iggy POP

    March 27, 2014 at 08:35

    Morgan Freeman voice simulater
    + 1000000 awesomeness
    Gauntlets of Chuck Norris

    + 99 strength
    – 100 appeal causes Ginger disease
    Boots of Bruce Lee
    + 200% attack speed
    Cuases nunchucks to block ping pong balls

    Reply

  239. Brendyn Zachary

    March 27, 2014 at 09:06

    Spear of Nkandla
    +50 to gold find
    +5 to burn damage
    +10% evasion
    When equipped the Spear of Nkandla opens the secret dungeons Pool of Fire, Demonic Chicken Run and De-Nile.

    Reply

  240. Jason Ashman

    March 27, 2014 at 09:22

    The webster hammer
    Does no damage, just takes 10 gold out of your pocket every time you swing.

    Reply

  241. Cat

    March 27, 2014 at 09:58

    “The Freedom Fighters fighting for the poor Wardrobe set”.

    Must contain all items in the set to gain the ability as a self confessed leader while tenderpreneuring with every chance one has.

    1. Designer Clothes for “The Modern Freedom Fighter”.
    Allows the wearer to make one seem better than the peasants that one is to control. One has to look respectable even if one cannot speak properly.

    2. “Red Berret of Freedom”
    Allows the wearer to seem sophisticated and educated while not having passed most of ones curriculum on multiple attempts. Added benefit makes the wearer not understand what Mathematics is and not be able to complete “woodwork” yet wanting to run a country.

    3. Breitling Watch of the “I don’t know what the numbers mean”.
    Allow’s the wearer to look like a quarter of a million bucks while not knowing what all the number add up to.

    4. Garage full of Chariots for the “Gotten Rich from the poorest parts of the land, Act 9(Limpopo)”
    Allows the user to stream past everyone over the speed limit as “There was important work to be done & was on a tight schedule to attend an urgent program for the poor after sunset”.
    No way a normal man can be seen using the nations transport system, one has to have AMG’s, Austins & Range Rovers chariots filling up the garages.

    5. Millionaires House of the up and coming “Fighter for the Poor who have no houses”.
    Big enough walls to keep the poor out while allowing you to count the millions from a normal junior politicians salary. Added benefit of having a view of your Garage full of chariots while having dinner.

    6. Farm of “I don’t know how to plan anything but I want to run all Acts in this country”.
    This allows you a great deal of land to create a opportunity for sustaining ones life but is rather better to let it rot.

    7. “Gang of thugs & criminals” masquerading as politicians
    This group has a large amount of potential to get you out of difficult situations to cover up your miss dealings while making you look like a simple citizen & pay off anybody who has incriminating evidence against you.
    Added benefit it funds your expansion plans at the cost of the poor who get worse off than they were previously while alienating minorities.

    Reply

  242. Unavengedavo(aka. Bilbo)

    March 27, 2014 at 10:07

    1st cup of coffee
    +62% Alertness
    -78% Grumpyness
    +89% You can talk to me now

    Reply

  243. Storm

    March 27, 2014 at 10:39

    “Lazygamers sword of 1000 smiles”
    Legendary 1h sword

    +200Strength
    increases damage caused by Cleave by 3%
    Chance on hit to cause all creeps in the area of the wielder to become frozen in a lazy sloth like manner.
    This will be of great use in nightmare and hell modes.

    Reply

  244. Storm

    March 27, 2014 at 10:55

    hatchet of hellish intent
    Legendary 1h axe

    +200Strength
    increases damage caused by Cleave by 3%
    increase strength by 1% every time you kill a mob. this can stack 5 times.

    Chance on hit to turn into a demonic entity in a thong.

    Reply

  245. Juan

    March 27, 2014 at 14:03

    ive seen the screenshots, but yet to see the item, but Potion of Kulle-Aid, gives temporary ability to break through walls . . .

    Reply

  246. Mugelbub

    March 27, 2014 at 18:34

    NunChucks

    Adds roundhouse kick to melee fighters that kills all enemies in 10 000 radius meter

    +250 attack speed

    +250 movement speed

    and a whole lot of kick ass

    and call mob so you can use roundhouse kick

    Reply

  247. 3easel_3k

    March 27, 2014 at 20:01

    Cape of the Dark Knight

    Armor 666
    +401 Intelligence

    +50 to all resistances
    + Aura of Stealth, 10% chance of invisibility for 2 seconds, stacks 3 times
    + each kill illicits your character to shout “I’m Batman!”
    Instantly identifies items

    50% chance of getting back broken by Siegebreaker

    “Nanananananananananananananana….Baaatmaaan”

    Reply

  248. Moncy

    March 27, 2014 at 21:27

    Bruce’s Bat-Cowl:

    860–959
    Armor

    Primary

    +1000-1500 Strength
    +5000-5500 Intelligence
    +10000-10000 Badassness
    Increases Jaw-Breaking Uppercut Damage by 200%

    Secondary

    200%-300% Chance to Fear On Hit
    Immune to BS
    Indestructible

    Reply

  249. Banewolf

    March 27, 2014 at 21:42

    Mine is a reference to Zelda (Blade of Evil’s Bane) It should do 5% extra damage to evil. A one-handed sword and it should glow brightly aswell. The skin should be a Purple sword that doesn’t look exactly like the master sword but looks a bit like it. (Would be cool with a hylian shield too)

    Reply

  250. Banewolf

    March 27, 2014 at 21:45

    “Truth Bringer” An electric two-handed sword with giant spikes + Dmg – Dmg lightning damage and some kind of extra buff like 5% extra gold or something like that.

    Reply

  251. Banewolf

    March 27, 2014 at 21:48

    “Staff of the Time Lord” A staff with the form of a wooden rod and the description: A legend says this was held by a great wizzard with the ability to control time, no one knows what happend to him. Some says that he went back in time but the staff didn’t follow him, he is therefor stuck in the time he went to. It should have a special buff that makes the mage ability “Slow Time” a little longer.

    Reply

  252. Banewolf

    March 27, 2014 at 21:51

    “The Tri-Pendant” A reference to the Triforce, it should have a strength buff, magic buff and a “courage”(Attack speed or Armor maybe) buff. It should have the form as the triforce.

    Reply

  253. 3easel_3k

    March 28, 2014 at 00:52

    Shirt of Dr. Cooper
    Character will appear to be wearing Flash’s uniform
    Armor 1
    Intelligence + 1.000.000
    Strength -10.000
    Attack speed increased by 0.01%
    Enemies within 100 yards lose all Intelligence and become confused for 10 seconds
    Increases elemental damage by 3.14159265359%
    Chance to ‘Bazinga’ Diablo after each critical hit
    “Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”

    Reply

  254. 3easel_3k

    March 28, 2014 at 00:52

    Shirt of Dr. Cooper
    Character will appear to be wearing Flash’s uniform
    Armor 1
    Intelligence + 1.000.000
    Strength -10.000
    Attack speed increased by 0.01%
    Enemies within 100 yards lose all Intelligence and become confused for 10 seconds
    Increases elemental damage by 3.14159265359%
    Chance to ‘Bazinga’ Diablo after each critical hit
    Enter rooms and dungeons after 3 clicks
    “Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”

    Reply

  255. Tiaan Pat

    March 28, 2014 at 07:03

    “Sword of boop”
    + 50% change to boop on hit
    + 20% increased damage when boop is a critical hit

    https://scontent-a-fra.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/t1.0-9/1958135_10152302770284861_2087685657_n.jpg

    Reply

  256. John Van Rensburg

    March 28, 2014 at 09:34

    Gavin’s infinite purse of holding (and woe).
    a bottomless pit, contained in a stylish leather drawstring purse, connected to an alternate universe filled with lawyers and colin webster. -100% any lewt earned. +1 awesome tshirt +1 crash course in legalese.

    (sorry Gavin…its in jest, not meant to be mean)

    Reply

  257. Unavengedavo

    March 28, 2014 at 10:13

    Friday
    -50% productivity
    a further -50% applies after 12h00

    Reply

  258. Draco Lusus

    March 28, 2014 at 11:31

    Poncho of Badass, nuff said…

    Reply

  259. Ascobel

    March 28, 2014 at 11:34

    Ring of rubberbanding.
    *Immediately stops rubberbanding making Torment level funny!
    -Binds with Neck of lagging
    -Binds with Chest of Low Latency
    -Binds with Feet of No More Error Codes

    Reply

  260. Mugelbub

    March 28, 2014 at 12:23

    little baby’s ice cream armor

    +150 armor and gives brain freeze to all nearby enemies and all players in group

    Ruins the minds of so many people

    1000% manna and hp regeneration

    Reply

  261. Andrei Hruscovschi

    March 28, 2014 at 20:11

    Dagger of the remote
    – On critical – changes the channel on neighbor’s TV

    Reply

  262. Kapsid

    March 29, 2014 at 14:44

    Sword of Suicide
    Two Handed Sword
    +0 all stats
    Every time,when you do damage to enemy it will punish you with twice bigger damage!

    Reply

  263. WhiteRock

    March 31, 2014 at 11:06

    WhiteRock’s cup of Coffee:
    -10 to Moodiness.
    +100 to Productivity.
    Random chance of Smiling.
    “Coffee is a language in itself. – Jackie Chan”

    Reply

  264. SmurFyZA

    March 31, 2014 at 12:02

    “Murphy’s Orb of completeness”
    + Free upgrade to Reaper of Souls: Collectors Edition
    + Enemy will feel the Wrath of Murphy’s Law
    (This orb will complete the game for you and stop you from ever playing again. Murphy’s Law?)

    Reply

  265. boondocksaint87

    March 31, 2014 at 12:12

    “Nkandla Blade”
    + 99.9% to deal corruption damage
    + 500% Extra gold drops from human enemies
    + 66.6% chance to fling poo at enemies

    Reply

  266. boondocksaint87

    March 31, 2014 at 12:17

    “Helm of shame”
    + Makes all items equipped invisible
    + Occasionally hides shame

    Reply

  267. Jason

    March 31, 2014 at 13:05

    “The ring of MY PRECIOUS”
    When equipped and killing any BOSS they will Say

    Reply

  268. SmurFyZA

    March 31, 2014 at 15:53

    “Nokia 3310”
    + Invulnerability
    (If bored, wearer can play Snake)

    Reply

  269. Unavengedavo

    April 1, 2014 at 10:58

    Birthday
    +1 to age
    “It’s my party, I can cry if I want to”

    Reply

  270. 3easel_3k

    April 1, 2014 at 23:18

    Sliver of Skynet
    1 handed dagger

    Damage 600-800
    +500 Strength
    +20 Resistance to all elements

    Revives character when below 10% life

    “I’ll be back…”

    Reply

  271. 3easel_3k

    April 1, 2014 at 23:21

    Showercap
    Helmet

    -100 Intelligence
    Removes all visual effects of poison damage to character.

    “Don’t worry I took a shower afterwards!”

    Reply

  272. 3easel_3k

    April 1, 2014 at 23:28

    The All-Spark
    Off-hand

    +100010001110 Intelligence
    Turns all inventory into minions for 15 seconds that deal 001010% of your damage and they have 10010% of your life, after which they turn against you for 5 seconds.

    “It was found deep within in the Cathedral’s crater, its exact location a mystery, as none, who went looking for it ever returned.”

    Reply

  273. 3easel_3k

    April 1, 2014 at 23:43

    Staff of Loki
    2-handed Staff

    Damage 700-1534
    +289 Intelligence
    On crictical hit creates a mirror image of the character, that lasts for 10 seconds, dealing 80% damage and has 50% life
    80% chance to turn enemy for 15 seconds of enemy possesses a heart.

    “Handed down by Thanos, to Loki, to you…”

    Reply

  274. Xzavier

    June 5, 2014 at 06:45

    [Sisqo’s Thong of Thong-Thong-Thongs]
    “A Skirt Whose Wearer’s Beneath Wields a Melody of Foul Smells that Overture Between R&B and DAT FUNK.”
    +5 to Truck-Like Dumps
    +10 to Thighs-Like What,.. What, What?
    15% Chance for Dat Booty to Go “DUH-NuH-NUH”

    Reply

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