First Order of business: New Stormtroopers please

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Stormtroopers! They can’t aim worth a damn as even on the best of days they’ve got the marksman skills of a tree stump in a coma. Thing is, the Star Wars galaxy would be a lot less entertaining without a few legions of cannon fodder running around in their nice shiny white uniforms.

Stormtroopers are about as disposable as nappies on a newborn baby, and pretty much just as cheap to make fun of. But here’s the thing: I’d freakin’ love to have not one but ALL the Stormtrooper toys possible.

I mean, just imagine a shelf, filled to the brim with the soldiers of the Empire, and a Sith Lord to lead them into glorious battle against the youngling Barbie dolls and dammit I’ve lost my train of thought again.

ANYWAY. A new Star Wars movie this year means a new generation of expendable troopers. Specifically, soldiers who have pledged their allegiance to the First Order and Apple, judging by how their armour has evolved over the years. And there’ll be several such Stormtroopers available, as Hot Toys has an entire squad of them on the way. Check it:

First Order Stormtrooper

The First Order Stormtrooper Sixth Scale Collectible Figure specially features:

  • Authentic and detailed likeness of First Order Stormtrooper in Star Wars: The Force Awakens
  • Approximately 30 cm tall
  • Body with over 30 points of articulation
  • Seven (7) pieces of interchangeable gloved palms including:
  • One (1) pair of fists
  • One (1) pair of relaxed palms
  • One (1) pair of palms for holding weapons
  • One (1) gesturing left palm

Costume:

  • One (1) newly designed First Order Stormtrooper armor
  • One (1) black under-suit
  • One (1) belt with pouches
  • One (1) pair of white boots

Weapons:

  • One (1) blaster rifle
  • One (1) blaster pistol

Accessory:

  • First Order emblem hexagonal figure stand with First Order Stormtrooper nameplate and Star Wars logo

This guy will set you back $204.99 when he ships in December.

First Order Heavy Gunner Stormtrooper

The First Order Heavy Gunner Stormtrooper Sixth Scale Collectible Figure specially features:

  • Authentic and detailed likeness of First Order Stormtrooper in Star Wars: The Force Awakens
  • Approximately 30 cm tall
  • Body with over 30 points of articulation
  • Seven (7) pieces of interchangeable gloved palms including:
  • One (1) pair of fists
  • One (1) pair of relaxed palms
  • One (1) pair of palms for holding weapons
  • One (1) gesturing left palm

Costume:

  • One (1) newly designed First Order Stormtrooper armor
  • One (1) heavy artillery vest
  • One (1) black under-suit
  • One (1) belt with pouches
  • One (1) pair of white boots

Weapons:

  • One (1) articulated megablaster
  • One (1) blaster pistol

Accessory:

  • First Order emblem hexagonal figure stand with First Order Stormtrooper nameplate and Star Wars logo

The heavy gunner, will cost you a slightly heavier $219.99.

First Order Stormtrooper Squad Leader

The First Order Stormtrooper (Squad Leader) Sixth Scale Collectible Figure specially features:

  • Authentic and detailed likeness of First Order Stormtrooper Squad Leader in Star Wars: The Force Awakens
  • Approximately 30 cm tall
  • Body with over 30 points of articulation
  • Seven (7) pieces of interchangeable gloved palms including
  • One (1) pair of fists
  • One (1) pair of relaxed palms
  • One (1) pair of palms for holding weapons
  • One (1) gesturing left palm

Costume:

  • One (1) newly designed First Order Stormtrooper armor
  • One (1) white pauldron
  • One (1) black under-suit
  • One (1) belt with pouches
  • One (1) pair of white boots

Weapons:

  • One (1) blaster rifle
  • One (1) blaster pistol

Accessory:

  • First Order emblem hexagonal figure stand with First Order Stormtrooper nameplate and Star Wars logo

The Stormtrooper captain will set you back $219.99, because his sash is worth it. Probably.

Last Updated: September 8, 2015

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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