The latest NERF guns can nail you with 70MPH balls

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nerf-zeus

Here at Lazygamer, we’re massive fans of using violence to solve any and all problems. In fact, our suggestion box is nothing more than a bin filled with foam darts. Because nothing gets a workplace issue sorted quicker than a friendly NERF battle.

The thing is, we kind of need more violence in our NERF battles. Specifically the kind of carnage where we can finally test out if we can dislodge Sandy’s eyes from his ocular cavities with a pair of well-timed and aimed shots. I think NERF may have heard our prayers:

If you can’t see the video above, that’s the NERF Rival Zeus MXV 1200. For $50, you get a handheld rifle that can nail your target (like children, yes children) with a dozen balls that are fired at up to 100 feet per second or close to 70 miles per hour.

In real-world numbers that aren’t horribly antiquated, that’s up to 112 kilometres per hour. Naturally, I want a pair of these so that I can finally discuss getting a dental plan with the boss.

I’ve always loved NERF guns, but I have two problems with them: They’re horribly expensive locally and the massive two-handed versions that I want aren’t exactly readily available.

And two, have you ever tried to travel with one of these in your main luggage when leaving the US of A? Randomised search my hairy ass. Anyway, I think I need to make a plan to get my hands on one of these. They’re absolutely gorgeous and crazy to the point where even the chief agrees with me.

Madness.

Last Updated: August 4, 2015

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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