Holy crazy fans, Batman! This Dark Knight Rises review debacle is turning ugly!

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Tomorrow at 5pm, I will have the pleasure of sitting down to view one of my most anticipated movies of the year, The Dark Knight Rises. Well, at least I used to think it would be a pleasure. You see, I’ve recently become dreadfully afraid that I might end up not liking TDKR as much as it’s predecessors. And if that is the case then, as I’ve learned over the last day, I might as well just upload a video of me kicking puppies in the testicles instead of the actual review.

This is something that four critics who uploaded negative write-ups on review aggregator site Rotten Tomatoes have had the terrible misfortune of finding out for themselves.

As I reported in yesterday’s Extras, the first negative review to be uploaded was by Marshall Fine who then promptly found his personal website crashing under the blinkered juggernaut of geek-rage stupidity that ensued. Oh, and did I mention the death threats he then also started receiving? Yes, death threats. That’s what us so-called fans are now dishing out to people whose only crime was having a different opinion to ours. Man, Adolf Hitler would be so proud.

The other reviewers, Associated Press‘ Christy Lemire, Devin over at Bad Ass Digest and Christopher Tookey from the  Daily Mail, have not fared much better, receiving the type of vitriolic response normally reserved for child molestors and over-zealous telesales operators. And all because of a movie about a guy who dresses like a flying rodent.

Now, I’m all for being passionate about the things you love – bravo I say! – but here’s the kicker: 99.999% of the people responsible for all this furious fist shaking, saliva splattered keyboard pounding and anatomically impossible descriptions of reviewer’s mother’s reproductive organs haven’t even seen the movie. They couldn’t have, it hasn’t been released yet. Most press screenings world wide only start from tonight. So these feces-flinging monkeys are banging their dirty war drums for something that at this point, only exists in their head.

The result of all of this, is that RottenTomatoes have now had to shut down their commenting system for any reviews on The Dark Knight Rises. What makes this even more absurd, is the fact that RT is a part of Flixtster, which is owned by Warner Bros, the same studios behind the Batman films. This essentially means that Warner Bros has just had to gimp their own services in a effort to protect the people who are criticizing their product.

As RT Editor in Chief Matt Atchity revealed, in fear of this happening again when the other major, potentially divisive title of 2012, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, gets released later in the year, RT will now be moving to a Facebook based comments system. This means that hate-speech spewing trolls will no longer have the power of internet anonymity to hide behind. You want to issue death threats? Go ahead. Not only will it get you perma-banned, but everybody will now know you for the small-minded rage-penis that you truly are.

I’ve recently taken a lot of flak from some of our readers for my derision of Mad Buddies and Prometheus, but luckily as heated as the debate got, I am yet to find a decapitated horse head in my bed, and I’d like to keep it that way, thank you very much. I’ll close with some of what Matt Atchity said, as he summarized my thoughts on this rather eloquently:

“…if I could ask everyone for one thing, it’s this: don’t be a dick. Even if you think someone else is being a dick. Just take a deep breath, step away from the computer, and maybe go for a walk. Have a smoke if you need one. There are plenty of other things to get angry about, like war, famine, poverty and crime. But not movie reviews.”

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.

Last Updated: July 18, 2012

Kervyn Cloete

A man of many passions - but very little sleep - I've been geeking out over movies, video games, comics, books, anime, TV series and lemon meringues as far back as I can remember. So show up for the geeky insight, stay for the delicious pastries.

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