Top List Thursday – Top Five ROCK battles

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Beelzleboss

You’ve seen fists fly. Kicks spin and bullets curve. But when it comes down to it, the greatest and fairest form of combat in the world, is a musical showdown. It’s pure talent, versus hard work, sweat, tears and blood. And movies have been filled with plenty of these showdowns. 

  • Scott Pilgrim vs. The World – Bass Battle

Looks like somebody wants to get…funky. Edgar Wright may not have had the full Scott Pilgrim comics to work from for the feature film adaptation, but when it came to adapting the source material, it looked like the art had sprung straight to life from the printed pages. Going one on one with a super-powered vegan bass guitar player and evil ex number 3, Pilgrim soon finds himself outmatched and outplayed. And while round one goes to the superior Vegan life form, it’s Pilgrim who gets the last laugh with the ol’ switcheroo trick at the end.

Chicken and eggs. Bitch.

  • Tenacious D: The Pick Of Destiny – Beezleboss Showdown

For years, Tenacious D had been singing about a rock battle that had created the greatest song in the world, a fight so intense that all memory of it had been wiped from their brains leaving them unable to reproduce the sounds of that night. But finally, fans got a chance to hear the so-called greatest song in the world. And what a song it was. Jables and Rage Kage, going two on one with the devil himself, pitting their skills against the metal of hell. On the line? Their monthly rent, fame and fortune. And also Kage’s unsullied purity. Truly, a contest of champions.

  • Dethklok: The Doomstar Requiem – The audition

Hey, this was a made for TV film, so it totally counts! There’s no band more metal than Dethklok, even if they do happen to be completely animated. But before Dethklok was komplete, they were merely four band members looking for a backup guitarist. A guitarist that could challenge the powerhouse riffs of Skwiggar and challenge him to reach new heights of pure skill. And they found such a guitarist, when after defeating hundreds of other potentials in one on one battle, one Toke Wartooth walked through the door. And the rest, was history…

  • Crossroads – The Duel

If I ever go to hell, I imagine the inferno will have some kickass music. Because I’m pretty sure that it’ll be filled with wannabe musos who sold their souls in order to get real good real fast on the guitar. Crossroads is one such tale, as the Karate Kid himself duels with hell in order to win back a soul, in a guitar battle that pits him against one of the all-time great legends, the very real Steve Vai. It’s Ralph Macchio vs the devil, with one guitar solo that rocks the ages and sends the devil’s tightest leather pants back to the inferno.

  • Drumline – Marching to war

Guitars may dominate rock battles, but credit has to be given to the humble drum set. And when you break it down even further, the marching band drummers may be playing some of the purest foot-tapping rock out there. Drumline is one such film where egos, attitudes and fast sticks collide in one inter-school competition, to see who the best drummer boys really are. And when the drum line really gets going, it’s a foot-tapping spectacle that will leave a hole in your floor thanks to the catchy beat.

  • Bonus scene: The Grim Adventures Of Billy and Mandy – MOOOOUGAR!

THIS IS BATTLE OF THE BANDS, RIGHT BILLY? THEN ON MY SIGNAL, WE ATTACK!

Last Updated: December 4, 2014

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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