Home Gaming Who’s the best lover in gaming?

Who’s the best lover in gaming?

1 min read
110

Iron bull

What makes a good lover? Wow, now that’s a loaded question. There are many things that can make a sexual encounter enjoyable in real life, as well as in digital life. However, I’m disappointed with most sex scenes in gaming – they just don’t seem realistic, or even fun. So, I went on a quest to find the best digital sex.

I think I found some great scenes, but you all can be the judge. Warning, this contains sex scenes from games so depending on your place of employment, it might be NSFW.

For those who don’t watch videos, you’re really missing out. I even have a cat in my sex video. But really, for those who can’t watch, I laugh at QTE bra unhooking scenes and the value of female enjoyment during these scenes. I’m still not entirely sure why Mass Effect insisted on having a lesbian sex scene while the ladies still wore bra and undies in the shower, but it goes to show how good the scene is considering that it’s a rad one nevertheless.

No, gaming isn’t about the sex scenes, and the stuff that happens in the actual game is way more important, but my Iron Bull romance did add something special to my Dragon Age Inquisition play through. It’s nice to see a more adult approach to sex in some of these games – sometimes it’s just about feeling good during difficult times, or connecting with a companion in a unique way. These sex scenes don’t just feature people having fun (okay, maybe the first one is just that), but they show sex in a unique way for gaming, a way that is just that little bit closer to how humans experience it in the real world. Sometimes it’s about love, sometimes it’s about desperation, and sometimes it’s about a strange mix of emotions that can only come about during the extreme circumstances we’ve come to expect in games.

Last Updated: July 22, 2015

110 Comments

  1. Pariah

    July 22, 2015 at 14:04

    And here I thought you were joking about the sex tape. XD

    Also, will have to watch when I get home. 🙁

    Also, wouldn’t the Japanese be the best to ask about sex in games?

    Reply

    • Her Highness the Hipster

      July 22, 2015 at 14:05

      i dunno, the girls are always crying in their sex scenes…. 🙁

      Reply

      • Pariah

        July 22, 2015 at 14:05

        Oh that’s true. Good point.

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          July 22, 2015 at 14:17

          It is true? I wouldn’t know

          Reply

          • Pariah

            July 22, 2015 at 14:18

            Umar showed me a few things. I’ve been scarred ever since.

          • Umar

            July 22, 2015 at 14:23

            No I did not! How dare you, I say how dare you!

          • Deceased

            July 22, 2015 at 14:28

            { I second that }

      • Jarrod Lane

        July 22, 2015 at 14:48

        I also cry during sex, thought that was normal? :p

        Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      July 22, 2015 at 14:05

      I guess she’s concentrating on sex between humans. :/

      Reply

      • Pariah

        July 22, 2015 at 14:06

        XD

        Reply

  2. Hammersteyn

    July 22, 2015 at 14:06

    Such Skill? He used two hands!

    Reply

    • Her Highness the Hipster

      July 22, 2015 at 14:07

      THIS IS TRUE! still, better to use two hands and be smooth than to fumble with one.

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        July 22, 2015 at 14:12

        Practice makes perfect, that reminds me, my grandma needs her stuff back.

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief in Skellige

          July 22, 2015 at 14:12

          O_O

          Reply

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 22, 2015 at 14:14

            Even I am at a loss for words…

          • Hammersteyn

            July 22, 2015 at 14:15

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 22, 2015 at 14:17

            I hope you are not lactose intolerant but this is Legen-wait-for-it-diary!

          • Pariah

            July 22, 2015 at 14:17

            legendiary? So a place where you record markers on a map or graph?

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 22, 2015 at 14:18

            Dairy

          • Alien Emperor Trevor

            July 22, 2015 at 14:21

            That’s pretty much what I do when I make a really bad pun.

        • Pariah

          July 22, 2015 at 14:13

          Plot twist: those were Grandpa’s things.

          Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      July 22, 2015 at 14:08

      I know right? In 50 Shades they do it with one hand tied behind their back. I mean… um…. a friend told me.

      Reply

      • RinceThis

        July 22, 2015 at 14:36

        Not sure what’s more disturbing here. You reading that trash, or thinking you have friends 0-O

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          July 22, 2015 at 14:38

          LOL. Do you want me to go there? I remember.

          Reply

  3. RinceThis

    July 22, 2015 at 14:09

    Hahaha. your man is in the background looking lost…

    Reply

    • oVg Reality is an illusion

      July 22, 2015 at 14:27

      Picking up the dog poop

      Reply

  4. Dutch Matrix

    July 22, 2015 at 14:10

    Guess what I am watching on the loo tonight! No. Wait. What????

    Reply

    • Pariah

      July 22, 2015 at 14:10

      And here it is. We know, you’re into Zoe. But she is married, and if my sources are correct her husband won’t even stop her from destroying you if you try anything.

      Reply

      • Dutch Matrix

        July 22, 2015 at 14:13

        Hey! Zoe is a perfectly pretty woman! Her husband looks like the type of guy that swims with dolphins and when he smiles, his teeth sparkles and goes “ding!” No way in hell I can compete with that. So I do not even try.
        And besides, we all know my real Lazygamer love is Rince…

        Reply

        • Pariah

          July 22, 2015 at 14:15

          O_o

          Rince. Run.

          Reply

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 22, 2015 at 14:16

            Yes Rince. Run. Right into my loving arms!

          • Pariah

            July 22, 2015 at 14:17

            I aint even mad. BWAHAHAHAHA. XD

  5. Hammersteyn

    July 22, 2015 at 14:11

    Feeling like making some coffee….. hot.

    Reply

    • Dutch Matrix

      July 22, 2015 at 14:11

      I see what you did there…

      Reply

  6. Umar

    July 22, 2015 at 14:12

    Dunno, some of these relationships feel superficial especially when it comes to Bioware games. Once you have sex then it’s done.Relationship has peaked. Romantic options are nice but it feels shoehorned a lot of the time. I prefer romance to be an actual part of the story like Geralt with Yen or Squall with Rhinoa. It Makes the sex scenes or intimate moments feel meaningful because well, they’re an actual couple and love each other, with the love being nurtured over time instead of choosing the correct response during dialog.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief in Skellige

      July 22, 2015 at 14:13

      Triss >>> Yen

      Reply

      • Umar

        July 22, 2015 at 14:13

        GTFO NOW!!!!!!!!

        Reply

        • Deceased

          July 22, 2015 at 14:30

          People, people please…

          Why not both 😛

          Reply

          • Umar

            July 22, 2015 at 14:31

            LOL that didn’t work out well for Geralt.

          • GooseZA

            July 22, 2015 at 16:00

            I guess I’ll find out soon!

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        July 22, 2015 at 14:13

        Jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa….NO.

        Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        July 22, 2015 at 14:14

        NOPE!

        Reply

      • Dutch Matrix

        July 22, 2015 at 14:25

        Jack >>>>>> Triss

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          July 22, 2015 at 14:26

          She knows how to clean a gun…

          Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          July 22, 2015 at 14:27

          Zoltan >>>>>>>>>>>> Jack.

          Reply

      • GooseZA

        July 22, 2015 at 16:00

        This. I don’t trust Yen (still on Skellige so not sure how it all ends up).
        Plus Triss is super hot.

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief in Skellige

          July 23, 2015 at 08:05

          I had to make a choice last night, tell Yen I love her (after telling Triss I love her and the scene afterwards), and decided against it.
          I never played W1, so the things with Triss in W2, I kept him loyal to her

          Reply

      • Geoffrey Tim

        July 23, 2015 at 08:09

        Yen >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Triss.
        In the books, TRiss and Geralt aren;t even a thing. Yen and Geralt are bound.

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief in Skellige

          July 23, 2015 at 08:21

          As I explained, I never played W1 or read the books. So Triss WAS MY Geralt’s true love. Never liked how Yen behaves, and after last night’s quest in Skellige (the Djinn one), I had to make a choice.

          I understand their history together, but, seeing as I’m playing W3 the way I want, based on my choices, I’m staying loyal to Triss.

          Last night’s choice I had to do to stay loyal. However, I did reload the save and made the loyal choice after, as I was curious to the OTHER dialogue choice. And I get it.

          So in keeping with in-game lore and so on, I’d say they belong together. However, based on my personal experience I feel Triss is the choice

          Reply

          • Geoffrey Tim

            July 23, 2015 at 08:25

            Nah, i 100% agree with you. It’s your game, and you’re playing an RPG. Your experience is what’s important to you. For me, the choice between yen and triss was easy. Besides. Yen is infinitely more interesting, while Triss is a fawning girl with high school level geralt crush. 😛 EASY/

          • Admiral Chief in Skellige

            July 23, 2015 at 10:21

            No doubt Yen is more interesting, I agree. Especially after last night, saw a new side of her

  7. Alien Emperor Trevor

    July 22, 2015 at 14:13

    Did Zoe miss the classic?

    Reply

    • RinceThis

      July 22, 2015 at 14:15

      What? Was she on a mission, ary? 0_O

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        July 22, 2015 at 14:16

        LOL

        Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          July 22, 2015 at 14:17

          Don’t encourage him.

          Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        July 22, 2015 at 14:17

        Reply

    • Johann

      July 22, 2015 at 15:32

      Man I immediately thought of this when reading the header. Larry is a beast in the bedroom.

      Reply

  8. Hammersteyn

    July 22, 2015 at 14:13

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      July 22, 2015 at 14:14

      lol snap

      Reply

    • Dutch Matrix

      July 22, 2015 at 14:15

      how far we come… Hahahahahahahhaahahahhohohohohohohohohoheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee Slaps knee…

      Reply

  9. Ottokie

    July 22, 2015 at 14:14

    EA

    Reply

  10. Umar

    July 22, 2015 at 14:15

    Also I just want to add that Indigo Prophecy has the best sex scene of all time. OF ALL TIME.

    Reply

    • Pariah

      July 22, 2015 at 14:16

      Oh hi Kanye. I didn’t see ya there.

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        July 22, 2015 at 14:17

        I c wut u did thar

        Reply

        • Umar

          July 22, 2015 at 14:17

          I like it when she does it right thurr right thurr.

          Reply

    • RinceThis

      July 22, 2015 at 14:21

      We were waiting for the tentacle speak to start!

      Reply

      • Umar

        July 22, 2015 at 14:22

        No tentacles. Pure, low poly sex 😛

        Reply

        • Dutch Matrix

          July 22, 2015 at 14:23

          You had sex with a cockatiel who had low self esteem?

          Reply

          • oVg Reality is an illusion

            July 22, 2015 at 14:40

            lol

          • Umar

            July 22, 2015 at 14:40

            Cooooo coooooo *waggles eyebrows*

        • oVg Reality is an illusion

          July 22, 2015 at 14:38

          Tasteful, does not matter about polygons, one area that games just cant get right. Mass Effect tried too hard, Dragon Age made it comical, Heavy Rain was way over the top, Kratos…

          As for all the Feminazis crying foul about The Witcher 3, non of them played the game, because its actually Ceri who is a bit of an overpowered sex crazed young women (Scene with the stable boy). Not to mention how Yen uses Gerald as a sex slave 🙂

          Reply

          • Dutch Matrix

            July 22, 2015 at 14:55

            Those beastly women!

    • Hammersteyn

      July 22, 2015 at 14:25

      Seems rather mellow for a man of your refined taste “P

      Reply

      • Umar

        July 22, 2015 at 14:29

        You can’t go hardcore ALL the time 😀

        Reply

    • oVg Reality is an illusion

      July 22, 2015 at 14:25

      Such an underrated game.

      Reply

      • Umar

        July 22, 2015 at 14:29

        Pretty sweet game. Weird ending but Cage did well with that one.

        Reply

    • Alien Emperor Trevor

      July 22, 2015 at 14:30

      I don’t even remember it having one. #foreverSP 🙁

      Reply

  11. oVg Reality is an illusion

    July 22, 2015 at 14:17

    Heavy Rain sounded like the voice actors were eating hot curry.

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      July 22, 2015 at 14:18

      Sloppy kisses are sloppy.

      Reply

      • oVg Reality is an illusion

        July 22, 2015 at 14:19

        EMOTIONS EMOTIONS

        Reply

      • Dutch Matrix

        July 22, 2015 at 14:19

        I once kissed a girl. She ended up sticking her tongue into my nose. Out of her own free will, I should add…

        Reply

        • oVg Reality is an illusion

          July 22, 2015 at 14:20

          nice

          Reply

        • Alien Emperor Trevor

          July 22, 2015 at 14:20

          I’ve heard of gold diggers, but diamond diggers?

          Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          July 22, 2015 at 14:20

          Too nosy for her own good…

          Reply

        • Umar

          July 22, 2015 at 14:21

          Was it the first date? Everyone nose you only do that after at least the 5th one.

          Reply

  12. oVg Reality is an illusion

    July 22, 2015 at 14:22

    The homosexual option for Iron Bull FTW

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      July 22, 2015 at 14:23

      I’m not man enough to watch that

      Reply

      • oVg Reality is an illusion

        July 22, 2015 at 14:24

        I think Zoes Inquisitor beats anything else.

        Reply

  13. Alien Emperor Trevor

    July 22, 2015 at 14:22

    SPOIL HER ALERT! hue hue hue

    Reply

    • RinceThis

      July 22, 2015 at 14:25

      Oh you…

      Reply

      • Alien Emperor Trevor

        July 22, 2015 at 14:25

        I’m allowed to!

        Reply

    • hairyknees

      July 22, 2015 at 14:26

      Lololol

      Reply

  14. oVg Reality is an illusion

    July 22, 2015 at 14:25

    WHAT, NO FLUFFY UNICORNS?

    Reply

    • Dutch Matrix

      July 22, 2015 at 14:25

      Zoe wrote the article, not Umar…

      Reply

      • Umar

        July 22, 2015 at 14:27

        🙁

        Reply

  15. Umar

    July 22, 2015 at 14:27

    Some people only specialize in Quick Time Event Sex. Shame. Also
    ..
    ..
    HEYOOOOOOOO

    Reply

    • Pariah

      July 22, 2015 at 14:30

      HAI

      Reply

  16. Sageville

    July 22, 2015 at 14:27

    There’s just never enough tentacles….

    Reply

  17. Pieter Smal

    July 22, 2015 at 14:38

    Hey Zoe! A few things:

    – You know there is a video… somewhere… on the terrible quality of sex in Witcher 3?
    – LOVE your Vader and Yoda. I have the same figurines at my studio (along with Vader, Luke, Yoda, and Palpitine which I bought in Italy.
    – I have 16 additional Star Wars posters in my room. Just got to say that out loud 🙂

    Keep up the good work, girl!

    Reply

  18. Brady miaau

    July 22, 2015 at 14:50

    asari. final word, for me.

    Reply

    • Dutch Matrix

      July 22, 2015 at 14:56

      I would agree with you. But at times I found Liara a bit annoying.

      Reply

      • Brady miaau

        July 22, 2015 at 14:58

        true.

        I think the Asari were created to appeal to young heterosexual men such as myself, pressing all the right buttons WHILE being asexual themselves.

        Reply

        • Dutch Matrix

          July 22, 2015 at 15:05

          Also maybe to test the waters as to how receptive an audience might be to a “Lesbian” relationship perhaps?
          I know this type of thinking might be tinfoil hat territory though…

          Reply

  19. oVg Reality is an illusion

    July 22, 2015 at 14:52

    Tentacles

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      July 22, 2015 at 14:57

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      Reply

      • Dutch Matrix

        July 22, 2015 at 14:58

        You sound like you had ten tickles…

        Reply

  20. Caveshen Rajman

    May 19, 2017 at 14:55

    Catherine. Play Catherine. It’s special.

    Reply

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