Look back. It’s E3 and I’m excited for Microsoft. A new console, one which has enough raw power to double as a Death Star, is due for its first proper reveal and that’ll show Sony. I’m in an apartment that is slowly being flanked by an army of homeless people outside as Alessandro sits in on the actual event. I’m wondering if Phil Spencer and his awesome collection of T-Shirts are going to keep the sexy Scorpio name for this new console.
Hell, I’m slobbering at the thought of seeing new games revealed, or a few upgraded ones at least. The show starts, the segment we’ve been waiting for finally kicks off and…
Oh hell Microsoft, what have you done. Xbox One X? Like that won’t confuse the well-meaning grannies. Hey, at least the games should make up for it, right? Look at your desk, now back to me: It’s Terry Crews in peak Terry Crews condition and yelling about Crackdown 3 because the marketing department at Xbox probably just watched The Longest Yard remake and thought that fella who rapped about McDonalds would appeal to Generation X.
Fast forward a few months later, and the one game that was due to launch with the Xbox One X-Pac has been delayed. It’s really not looking good for team green, know what I’m saying? Well hold on to your asses folks, because the next level of gaming is launching with the next generation of MSG on a mass-produced flat fried potato. BEHOLD! POWER DORITOS:
The images above, which shockingly aren’t a ploy by Lex Luthor to get Superman to crap his super-pants with Doritonite, came from Redditor Atomic Jorge via NeoGAF. Here’s what he had to say about the chips that look like the bastard child of Green Lantern and a bag of potatoes that had expired:
Hi I took the pics Xbox Mexico and Doritos are giving away games controllers and even the Xbox One X when it launches, you have to redeem some codes on their website in order to win, the codes are inside the bags right now they are only available on Mexico
They taste like grilled jalapeño peppers I like them.
As Weird Al Yankovic once said: Just eat it.
Last Updated: August 21, 2017