Games define us. They inspire us, entertain us and give us something to look forward to after a hard grind at the office. Everybody has a particular favourite, whether it be some good ol’ Sega classics or more contemporary fare.
And sometimes, such games happen to be gloriously detailed car crash simulators where every spark and grind of the metal is shown in excruciatingly slow detail.
I am of course, talking about Burnout, the cult classic series of car on car violence that Criterion pioneered on ye older generations before they got swept up into the Need For Speed franchise.
Burnout was sublime, a fantastic racing game that was complemented by egregious car-on-car violence, making it a rather unique franchise in a crowded genre. And that franchise went out with a bang in 2008’s Burnout: Paradise, a racing game where wanton car destruction was carried out to the tune of Guns ‘N Roses.
Since then, Burnout is deader than a loveless marriage. But what about an HD collection? It’s all the rage these days, and best of Burnout release would sell gangbusters, according to me and that weird guy down the road who watched David Cronenberg’s Crash one too many times.
Well don’t hold your breath. Because Criterion doesn’t have time to focus on porting the older games over to newer hardware. When quizzed on Twitter about the possibility of an HD collection, Criterion responded by explaining that they had moved onto “newer, even better things.”
.@gatchers Hah! You’re not the first with that one. Nice idea but it’s still not true. We’ve moved on to newer, even better things!
— CriterionGames (@CriterionGames) September 29, 2015
That being said, Criterion is hopeful that Burnout: Paradise will pop up on the Xbox One, as part of the backwards compatibility rollout, sometime in the future. And that’s something that I could easily live with. Ooooh, take me home to Paradise City, where the lights are green and the girls are pretty! Oh! Won’t you take me ho-ooooome!
Last Updated: September 30, 2015