Educational masturbation game denied Apple release

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HappyPlayTime is an instructional game that teaches women how to love themselves and men to love their women better. It was intended for release on Apple’s touch-screen devices, which barring tactile feedback is about as perfect a medium as you can get. Only it won’t be released, because Apple is run by prudes.

According to the game’s designer Tina Gong (via Kotaku),it was rejected by Apple because games about women touch themselves is not “something that Apple wants to go forward with.”

“I knew I was taking a chance with building the game natively but I was optimistic, as our app was created with a mission and with the best of intentions,” said Gong.

She was hoping the game would help dispel some of the taboos surrounding female sexuality and masturbation – something I applaud..I just wish the area in the representing the female genitalia wasn’t so damned creepy.

I still find it strange how much sexuality is repressed when it comes to just about any media. It’s fine and dandy for games to feature wanton murder, but the second you throw in anything resembling sexuality and it becomes an outrage. Society is quick to anger at nudity in the interest of protecting little Timmy from the shock of potentially seeing breasts, but digital recreations of war are just fine. I really wish ultra-conservatives would get over sexuality, and remember that that’s how we all got here in the first place.

The game may yet see release on Android-based platforms, but if Google’s overlords have a similar stick up their sexually-repressed bottoms, Gong’s only recourse would be to release the game as an HTML5 browser game for PC; in which case there’ll be no tapping for fapping, but clicking for schlicking.

Remember, there are two types of people in the world; those who masturbate, and liars.

Last Updated: May 19, 2014

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