Home Gaming Fall Guys beans are horrific abominations that must be eliminated

Fall Guys beans are horrific abominations that must be eliminated

2 min read

Just like cats, pufferfish, or that one person you dated but every wisely broke up with when the truth was exposed, Fall Guys just appear cute on the outside while actually being horrific nightmare fuel creatures that must be exterminated for my eyes to ever not feel like they’re on the verge of bleeding. The adorable little beans were revealed to be a casing for a twisted (literally and figuratively) inner creature, one seemingly pulled from HP Lovecraft’s most heinous sexual fantasy and dumped on a creepy Reddit for some poor child to accidentally discover.

We’ve always wondered what lay below that adorable shell, knowing that if the bean-shaped characters were, in fact, “Guys” that should resemble us in some way. Yet some questions are better left unanswered as the visage of doom and death contained within those fun colours… it’s enough to put you off the game entirely.

Yet there’s more to this story than just this shocking revelation. As it turns out, the dev team behind Fall Guys, Mediatronic, are divided on their own canon as an alternate anatomy for a Fall Guy was released quickly after the abomination. It’s far more adorable and suggests that Fall Guys are actually just airbags filled with ambition, spirit and a big squeaky heart. Isn’t that just lovely and way less upsetting?


Fall Guy’s first season ends in just a few weeks, with the hotly anticipated second season bringing in all kinds of medieval cosmetics to make your Bean look either less or more like an ancient scourge on humanity. Or maybe a wonderfully pure angel of goodness and light! Whichever canon you prefer, I suppose.

Last Updated: September 25, 2020

One Comment

  1. MechMachine

    September 25, 2020 at 13:15

    No !


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