Destiny, a video game which now finally feels complete after it got a 20gb patch one year after launch, is a much better game this week. While I could wax lyrical about the various new tweaks, tune-ups and overall polish that said patch has delivered, that’s a post for another day.
I’m all about the Taken King right now, an expansion which is going heavy on the marketing so please ignore me while I accept this non-descript sack of petty cash for my hyperbole.
Naturally, you’re going to see an advert or two for The Taken King. But none of them, none of them can top the Japanese promotion for the game:
Can’t watch the video above? Then let’s break it down like a Degeneration X intro:
Japanese laundromat: Surprisingly disappointing, because years of anime have led me to believe that each washing machine would be a Gundam-level mecha that could protect the island-nation in case of a Kaiju attack.
That, is a bitchin’ Destiny Hunter cosplay that is now giving me ideas of replicating for myself for next year’s project to undermine people.
Yes folks, that is actor Ryo Katsuji, who has become a regular in PlayStation 4 adverts in Japan. And double-yes, he’s making his own PSSSSHHHHHHHH sound as he removes his helmet. AWESOME.
Aw yeah, you’ve got nowhere to run to now. Just like the people who are forced to read my Destiny posts.
Normally, R1 in Destiny makes a Hunter fling a solar-infused knife into enemy skulls. In Japan, it apparently allows you to toss out retail copies of The Taken King. I’ve been playing the game wrong, all this time.
There is nothing more frightening than a dedicated Destiny player who is hell-bent on getting you to join his fire-team for a raid on King’s Fall.
Thing is, I know those eyes. Those are my eyes when I first started playing Destiny and had to convince people to join me and have a good time while dying constantly in the Vault of Glass.
And that’s also my face after a successful raid that rewarded me with Willbreaker armour. Awwww yeah son, good times!
Honestly, I wish this was the cover for the retail edition of The Taken King. This is just pure joy for me. The expansion finally launches next week, so forget about getting your laundry done. The Tower needs you, Guardian.
Last Updated: September 11, 2015