Nothing can prepare you for…Tetris Ultimate

2 min read


Tetris. Older than time and that fruitcake in the freezer. More powerful than entire world governments. Able to crush even the hardest of men when they reach level 16. You think you know Tetris? You don’t know jack-squat son. So you prepare yourself. You get ready…for Tetris Ultimate.

Way back in the ancient dark ages of June 1984, the original Tetris was hatched by its lord and master Alexey Pajitnov. Who may have been double-screwed over by the Soviet government. Comrades. Thirty years later, and an even bigger empire, Ubisoft, now owns the game rights and is planning to celebrate three decades of waiting for that long block to appear so that you can get five lines at once, with Teris Ultimate.

So what makes this the “Ultimate” Tetris? According to Ubisoft, this version will be split across all the current-gen consoles and PC, and include multiplayer stretched across modes such as Marathon, Battle, Power-Up Battle, Ultra, Endless and Spirit. Thousands shall die as Tetris Ultimate absorbs their life force whenever they bugger up a line, although that part may have been omitted from the press release.

To be honest, there’s only one thing that Tetris Ultimate needs to be successful. This track:

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The game is scheduled for an E3 appearance. Where Ultra Street Tetris will most likely be unveiled for a 2016 release.

Last Updated: June 5, 2014

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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