Home Gaming Play MS-DOS porn games (and cool classics) for free

Play MS-DOS porn games (and cool classics) for free

1 min read
30

SeXoniX

I remember the days of MS-DOS games. I think I had the original Carmen Sandiego game for our DOS computer, and it was the in the before times of the internet so I actually had to use the world atlas to look up strange currencies and figure out where the bad guy went. Little did I know there were porn games back then.

The Internet Archive has dumped about 2 400 MS-DOS games into an easy to navigate repository (thanks Gizmodo). Some of these are absolute classics. Here’s just a taste of some of the favorite games on the list.

  • The Oregon Trail
  • Dune 2 – The Building of a Dynasty
  • Leisure Suit Larry 1
  • Tyrian
  • Scorched Earth
  • Disney’s Duck Tales
  • Centurion – Defender of Rome
  • Lemmings 2 – The Tribes
  • Carnage

All these games can be played in your browser and contain a maximum level of nostalgia. However, these aren’t the only games in the repository. There’s also a text-based game with a fully explanatory title, Softporn 2. A non-text-based game with a similarly descriptive title is SeXoniX. Who knew that there were porn games for MS-DOS? I guess I was too young at the time, but I still find it hilarious. Just be careful which titles you choose to play at work.

Which games triggered your nostalgia meter? Are you busy playing some Indiana Jones now or possibly even Street Fighter II? I love that they can all run in my browser, although I think my productivity just dropped to nothing.

Last Updated: January 7, 2015

30 Comments

  1. E

    January 7, 2015 at 21:15

    Astrotits

    Reply

  2. Quo Vadis?

    January 8, 2015 at 06:59

    Lazy Larry…. I remember how controversial it was back then. Sneaked a copy home one day from school on a stiffy drive (ha ha I know) played it, and wondered where is the controversy? Everything is censored!

    Reply

    • Blood Emperor Trevor

      January 8, 2015 at 07:15

      Haha yes. “I’m playing a naughty game my mom wouldn’t approve of if she knew! woohoo!”

      Reply

      • Quo Vadis?

        January 8, 2015 at 07:20

        LOL “I’m such a badass now. I think I’ll start smoking next. Or buy condoms. Up yours, authority!”

        Reply

  3. Mossel

    January 8, 2015 at 07:15

    Definitely Carmen Sandiego and Larry for me. Also Dangerous Dave!

    Reply

  4. Blood Emperor Trevor

    January 8, 2015 at 07:16

    I spent many hours playing Dune 2. That game rocked so hard.

    I think I played most of those, including Carmen Sandiego.

    Reply

    • Quo Vadis?

      January 8, 2015 at 07:21

      I only remember Double Dragon. And Lazy Larry of course hahahaha

      Reply

    • Brady miaau

      January 8, 2015 at 08:48

      Dune 2 was great because it was sort of genesis for RTS, but I much preferred Dune 1, when I did replays a few years ago

      Reply

    • RustedFaith

      January 8, 2015 at 10:05

      What fond memories I have of Dune 2, still better than C&C.

      Reply

  5. Hammersteyn

    January 8, 2015 at 07:48

    Holy hell, I think NetWars was the first game I ever Lanned. Nostalgia overload. Gonna check out LHX Attack chooper. Work avoidance 2015. Thaks Zoe 😀

    Reply

  6. Brakanjan

    January 8, 2015 at 08:11

    You can use DOSBox and play all those DOS games in your Windows. Dune2, Alley Cat, Police Quest, Larry, Wolfenstein 3D, Stunts (3D racing), Scorched Earth and Empire (requires ANSI driver). Thexder (with bad rendition of Moonlight Sonata), etc.

    Reply

    • Jonah Cash

      January 8, 2015 at 08:33

      I use dosbox for Scorched Earth, still play it at least once a month!! Loved the game!!

      Reply

  7. ReaperOfSquirrels

    January 8, 2015 at 08:24

    Ahhh… Kings Quest, Stunts, Leisure Suit Larry, Doom, Duke Nukem 3D, Wolfenstein 3D, Cosmo’s Cosmic Adventure, Commander Keen (Keen Dreams), Lemmings, California games, Double Dragon, etc… sooo many good memories.

    Reply

  8. Tiaan Pat

    January 8, 2015 at 08:31

    Lemmings!!! Man that brings back memories!

    Reply

  9. Jonah Cash

    January 8, 2015 at 08:31

    Scorched Earth is an absolutely beaut of a game!!! Worms was created thanks to Scorched Earth!! I have scorched earth on my laptop!!

    Reply

  10. DJSkippy

    January 8, 2015 at 08:36

    Scorched EARTH!!!! 🙂

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 8, 2015 at 09:12

      …the mother of ALL games!

      Reply

    • Raptor Rants A Lot

      January 8, 2015 at 09:13

      Aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww yessssssssssssssssssssssssssss

      Reply

  11. Brady miaau

    January 8, 2015 at 08:47

    Centurion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    It actually had quite a bit strategic depth, when compared with Dune 2 (which had some). I think I play Rome Total War because of Centurion

    Scorched Earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

    • RustedFaith

      January 8, 2015 at 10:07

      Centurion was the start of Total War games in my book. Heck that game was great but freaking hard.

      Reply

  12. loftie

    January 8, 2015 at 09:00

    I have Dune 2 and Tyrian on my Samsung SII. Dune 2 was one if the first games I played on PC back in 1992.

    Reply

  13. Admiral Chief

    January 8, 2015 at 09:12

    DUNE!!!!

    Reply

    • Raptor Rants A Lot

      January 8, 2015 at 09:12

      Dem feels

      Reply

      • Quo Vadis?

        January 8, 2015 at 09:15

        What? Like a “winning” feeling? 😀 😉

        Reply

        • Raptor Rants A Lot

          January 8, 2015 at 12:13

          :'( Too soon man

          Reply

          • Quo Vadis?

            January 8, 2015 at 12:16

            NEVER!!!!! XD

  14. CypherGate

    January 8, 2015 at 09:18

    Dune 2 The Battle for Arakis

    Reply

  15. Lardus-Resident Perve

    January 8, 2015 at 12:35

    BUDOKAN!!

    Reply

  16. Dopefish

    January 8, 2015 at 13:17

    My Faves

    -Commander Keen 4 (Goodbye Galaxy)
    -Commander Keen 3.5 (Keen Dreams)
    -Dangerous Dave in the Haunted Mansion
    -Wolfenstein
    -Worms
    -Paperboy
    -A Boy & his Blob
    -Ghost Busters
    -Alley Cat
    -Scorched Earth
    -Duke Nukem (Side Scoller)

    Honorable mention

    Sim Ant

    Reply

  17. Dopefish

    January 8, 2015 at 13:39

    You know the AAA industry is havin a problem when Dos Games 25 Years ago still have better Quality in Leaving a lasting impression, Creating memorable characters (Dopefish), Gameplay, Original Ideas, Authenticity, 8bit sound that’s still catchy, value for money more so then the crap getting Shovelwared today. I’m looking at you EA, Ubisoft

    Shall I mention, DOS GAMES STILL WORK you bug driven AAA industry, it’s 2015 you should be ashamed of yourselves. You’re getting showed up by Dos Games. It just goes to show the legacy of quality programming back then and how healthy the gaming industry was.

    That’s why I like indie developers, they go old school. AAA doesn’t know what the fuck it’s doing.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Check Also

Epic Games Store kicks off Holiday Sale with $10 coupons and a fortnite’s worth of free games

Over on the Epic Games Store, the annual slavings for savings sale has kicked off. Epic’s …