by Nick Reay (Aka Rincethis)

It was with great trepidation that I loaded Resident Evil: Revelations onto my console; trepidation caused by a variety factors. Firstly the shock of Resident Evil 6 was still there, right in the front of my mind, an after image seared into the fleshy bits that will still take a few years to heal.

Secondly I felt somehow over-saturated with the prevalence of zombies/undead in my daily life. It would seem these days you can’t turn on something without some undead bastard moaning in your direction. And the last hesitation at reviewing this game was sitting to my left. Crazed, bloodshot eyes stared at me as if daring me to disappoint them with yet another Resident Evil abomination. ‘Sticky camera?’ he asked, twitches flaring across his contorted face. ‘More Baysplosions?’  He pressed. I remained silent.

ResiR_4jpg

Thankfully only once I came close to facing the full wrath of OVG and that was when he was repeatedly chainsawed to death by something let loose from Hell’s Kitchen. The game was a hit on the 3DS because it took us back to survival horror, and for those on the PC, PS3, or Xbox360, we get to enjoy that too, with some small costs.

I was very curious to see how a game ported from the Nintendo 3DS to platforms more powerful would end up looking and I have to say I was impressed in some ways and unsurprised in others. On one end of the spectrum you have great looking, though rather stiff character models. You also have good lighting and some impressive cut scenes (like being inside a skyscraper as it comes crashes down). I thought CAPCOM did well with their water effects and spent quite a bit of time on level layout that showed off some good particle effects. However, these niceties make the troubled aspects more pronounced.

ResiR_8

I think at one stage when looking out a portcullis on-board the doomed ship the Queen Zenobia, OVG noted the very obvious low polygon count that was trying desperately to pretend to be a circle. When your character has supremely curved boobs (of which OVG repeatedly took pictures for ‘reference purposes’) and right behind her you have a ‘circle’ constructed of 6 sides, the obvious difference leads to a frustrating and contradictory experience at times. This coupled with the low frame rate and repetition of many monsters showed the comparative limitations of the original console only it was on MY console now. Why wasn’t this story developed for this generation console?!

ResiR_5

I must say I surfed the nostalgic wave many times in this game and must tip my hat at CAPCOM for attempting to right so many wrongs. For example the atmosphere on the ship is intense. Offering the obligatory narrow corridors, small rooms and a sound score that really gets your heart racing I admit that at times I jumped like a little girl. This veers off somewhat when you leave the ship to play other parts of the story, but we’ll get to that in a moment. The zombies, or ‘Ooze’, offer a nice difference to ‘real’ zombies in that they can pop out of almost any small space be that a hole in a wall, ceiling of floor. So you’ll be checking each opening with butterflies whilst cursing your low ammo count. Also the rocking of the ship, which we only figured out after about 2 hours (I just assumed it was OVG sucking at shooting) added another disconcerting element. One moment you have a perfect shot the next your precious bullets are ripping into a low-res image of the Titanic (we think). And bullets! Oh you beautiful bastards. We played on normal, and if you have a happy-go-lucky ‘needs to get over the Army’ mentality like OVG you’ll be left shouting at the game as you run out of ammo and find yourself desperately trying to use your knife on multiple targets.

ResiR_6

With the ability to carry three different weapons (all customizable with mods that offer, for example +20% damage) you are going to have a lot of fun balancing and upping in favour of your play style. This is one element I really enjoyed. Also, the new Genesis scanning device was a nice touch. You use it to scan a room or enemy for points. Each enemy carries with it a certain number of points (the more you scan the same type, the fewer points you get) and when you get 100 you get a green herb! No more mixing herbs you budding apprentices of the art of apothecary!

ResiR_2

One of the things that did get to me was the partners you are paired with in each story line. When you move from one pairing of characters, let’s say Chris and Jessica, to another the experience can also move from rather brilliant to bloody irritating (you know who you are, Quint Cetcham!) It’s nice to have someone there to speak to, that’s what the doctor always tells me, but the best parts of this game are when you are alone. I understand the urge to move from one tone to another as it can accentuate and reinforce a scene. However, when I am moving from an intense drowning on a ship scene to characters that feel like they were extras in ‘Hey dude, where’s my car’ it just screams of younger fan service. I got the feeling that certain characters where just thrown in to amuse us which is odd as the cover of the box says Resident Evil, not Chainsaw Lollypop…

ResiR_7

If you are a fan of the original Resident Evils you will enjoy this. The story is camp, to a Hideo Kajima level, there is a lot of backtracking and the ludicrous dialogue, coupled with a crazy conspiracy theory/governmental plot, will keep you entertained for nearly 12 hours. Once you complete the game you will also unlock ‘Raid Mode’ which allows you to play as any character on multiple levels, with the ability to upgrade your weapons with a buddy.

At the moment it’s sitting at R445 on the Xbox360 and PS3 and R345 on the PC, which I think is a fair price to pay, considering Aliens: Colonial Marines is still R400…

Last Updated: June 6, 2013

Resident Evil: Revelations
While it may be lackluster in certain area, such as the general aesthetic and forced companionship, it offers what many people have been looking for in regards to a trip to the past; it's actually Resident Evil.
7.0
Resident Evil: Revelations was reviewed on Xbox 360

67 Comments

  1. OVG

    June 6, 2013 at 15:34

    I was to drunk to give any constructive crit ;P Sorry Rince. Good Review.

    Reply

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 6, 2013 at 15:38

      Haha, nah, your past experience with RE was much appreciated, you red-bloodshot eyed bullet spending bastard 🙂

      Reply

      • Ultimo_Cleric N7

        June 6, 2013 at 15:40

        My hero!
        And a good review as well.

        Reply

        • Rinceyouropinion

          June 6, 2013 at 15:41

          Haha! It was a fun game to review, made more so by the vile mouth that is OVG 😉

          Reply

          • Ultimo_Cleric N7

            June 6, 2013 at 15:46

            OVG is a SAINT!

          • OVG

            June 6, 2013 at 15:54

            Tee hee hee. One does not play a Resi game sober. That camera… barf.

            I must admit, if that was the 3DS then I am buying one. Cool little handheld.

          • OVG

            June 6, 2013 at 15:46

            What happened to all the pictures that I took of her fine ass and boobs to show the polygon count? :p

          • Rinceyouropinion

            June 6, 2013 at 15:50

            I’ll put some up now 😉 lol

          • Rinceyouropinion

            June 6, 2013 at 16:01

            Here you go little fella!

          • OVG

            June 6, 2013 at 16:14

            tee hee hee great posture

  2. Dean_12

    June 6, 2013 at 15:54

    How did you get the chance to review? I would not mind writing up some reviews on games that I have played

    Reply

    • OVG

      June 6, 2013 at 15:56

      You have to send a naked picture of your joystick to Geoff :p

      Reply

      • Andre116

        June 6, 2013 at 16:18

        But, I’ve been that for a while now and he never offered me anything.

        Reply

      • Jim Lenoir (Banana Jim)

        June 6, 2013 at 20:19

        lol, that’s exactly how you start reviewing for LG 😛

        Reply

    • Gavin Mannion

      June 6, 2013 at 15:57

      You got a game we haven’t reviewed? Send through a review and we can chat

      Reply

      • Andre116

        June 6, 2013 at 16:09

        You do know that it is a ginger that wrote this review. Used to be such a nice site.

        Reply

        • Rinceyouropinion

          June 6, 2013 at 16:10

          You utter bstd

          Reply

          • Andre116

            June 6, 2013 at 16:11

            Sorry, did I give away your game? Thought you could just blend in with rest of us, did you?

          • Rinceyouropinion

            June 6, 2013 at 16:12

            NEVA!

          • Andre116

            June 6, 2013 at 18:35

            REally good review. Did not find any grammar or spelling mistakes (yet). And congrats on finishing this type of game while playing with OVG. Bet he wasted a couple of clips shooting at the moon…

          • Rinceyouropinion

            June 6, 2013 at 18:42

            Haha, you know he spent most of the time with his sniper… You know the rest. Me grammar kling! (bastard spelt wrong, but that is because I think it shouldn’t be spelt with an e)

      • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

        June 6, 2013 at 16:25

        Did not know you guys do that, would actually really like to try this out …… I’ve got a huge array of hentai games I would like to review … Just kidding…….

        Reply

        • Andre116

          June 6, 2013 at 18:32

          Man…you just got my hopes up…

          Reply

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            June 7, 2013 at 07:33

            Lol … Wouldn’t it be wild to have hentai reviews on here lol ……

          • Andre116

            June 7, 2013 at 07:35

            Nothing wrong with the age old tale of school girl meets demon with tentacles…

          • Rinceyouropinion

            June 7, 2013 at 08:59

            Urotsukidogi! (or something similar)

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            June 7, 2013 at 09:36

            HAHAHA your Hentai roots have been exposed!!!!

          • Rinceyouropinion

            June 7, 2013 at 09:46

            dude, don’t laugh. When I was young, OVG and I got that video out thinking it was like Akira or 3×3 eyes. We sat down to watch it with our mother… Man, that was AWKWARD!

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            June 7, 2013 at 09:56

            Holy Moly that is really really funny!! …………. And your mum’s reaction to hentai?

          • Rinceyouropinion

            June 7, 2013 at 09:58

            damn dude, she just looked at us like ‘wtf is wrong with my offspring’. I think we turned it off after the first tentical had penetrated every orifice of some school girl…

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            June 7, 2013 at 10:19

            A mother’s shame goes deep …. But even so you will watch an Akira-like anime with your mum?Awesome lol

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 6, 2013 at 16:20

      Geoff was looking for someone and I used to be a journalist (though not for games) so offered. You should also give it a shot, send in something to Gavin.

      Reply

      • Dean_12

        June 6, 2013 at 16:58

        Thanks, will do this 🙂 Although I don’t know if I will be able to find a game LG has not reviewed. Maybe I can send in a review from a casual gamer point of view. Won’t hurt to try!

        Reply

  3. OVG

    June 6, 2013 at 15:55

    Also, if people are happy to spend R400 on Angry Birds then this is a steal.

    Reply

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 6, 2013 at 16:23

      Agreed. I thought it was a steal at R445, it has a long story, though silly at times. That being said it does kindda tie up at the end. I also liked the camp humour that they threw around. I just don’t understand why CAPCOM released RE6 when they had this in the works. If they waited and used the engine used in 6 for this, it would have rocked the shizzle.

      Reply

  4. Umar Kiiroi Senk?

    June 6, 2013 at 16:24

    Oh wow Well Done RINCY!!

    Finally got my RE Rev review

    Reply

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 6, 2013 at 16:25

      Thanks man! I think you asked the other day where this review was? Or maybe I am mixing people up…

      Reply

      • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

        June 6, 2013 at 16:26

        No I did and you threw me in the corner you one eyed bastard

        Reply

        • Rinceyouropinion

          June 6, 2013 at 16:27

          Now you know why! *eyes corner again… I was desperately trying to finish the game, and because of your question, went without food, water and sleep to get it in… Have you played it? What did you think and on which platform?

          Reply

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            June 6, 2013 at 16:33

            Haha…But well done. And yup, I got the PC version, cheapest. I’m still early in the game though , just after the hunter swarm. I stopped and decided to finish RE 6 lol

          • Rinceyouropinion

            June 6, 2013 at 16:34

            Haha! Ya, that scene IS Resident Evil 6! Damn that elevator took FOREVER to come up…

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            June 6, 2013 at 16:37

            Haha, Indeed, There was a part with an endless swarm so I ran into the lift and they all came bursting in and the lift didn’t want to close. Couldn’t stop laughing. actually, I stopped in the snow level. Dat wolves man……Papa Wolf is damn hard. By the way what’s your views on Infernal mode? I actually hate it, very unbalanced

          • Rinceyouropinion

            June 6, 2013 at 16:38

            Agreed. Way too hard. And OVG actually did the same thing, ran to the elevator like a little girl, only to have them burst through the door to the screams of a grown man.

          • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

            June 6, 2013 at 16:59

            Lol…it’s a strategic move to run for the elevator…not girly..at all…maybe a lil. And yeah, not that its hard really, but the enemies take more bullets than there is in the game

  5. mancera

    June 6, 2013 at 16:26

    Nice review Rince!

    Reply

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 6, 2013 at 16:28

      Thanks bud, have you played it?

      Reply

      • mancera

        June 10, 2013 at 09:08

        Unfortunately not, will try get my hands on a friend’s copy.

        Reply

  6. Umar Kiiroi Senk?

    June 6, 2013 at 16:27

    And also….this game has doors that are….wait for it….Locked from the other side’!!!!….how nostalgic!!!

    Reply

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 6, 2013 at 16:28

      I know, I shed a damn tear!

      Reply

      • OVG

        June 6, 2013 at 16:30

        Backtracking… lots of backtracking.

        Reply

        • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

          June 6, 2013 at 16:30

          Doors with emblems lol …….. I cry , I cry hard for this game

          Reply

      • Umar Kiiroi Senk?

        June 6, 2013 at 16:30

        Man I cried when I saw that

        Reply

  7. TiMsTeR1033

    June 6, 2013 at 16:48

    Looks cool but does anyone else notice how the creatures look like they belong more in the setting&lighting textures details ect..) but that chick looks like kinda fake like as renedered in different engine… thats a tad off putting.

    Reply

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 6, 2013 at 19:23

      TOtally. That’s what I meant by the six sided circle and nice boobs:)At times it was very frustrating, seeing pretty decent cjaracters and ratjer crappy monsters!

      Reply

  8. hairyknees

    June 7, 2013 at 02:43

    Nice review dude! Loved this game on the 3DS, I don’t think its meant to be played big screen 😛

    Reply

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 7, 2013 at 09:01

      Yeah, I agree. That being said, it was nice to have a real RE game to play, not that steaming pile of bullshit RE6!

      Reply

  9. Admiral Chief Commander

    June 7, 2013 at 08:17

    RIIIIIIIIIIIIIINCE

    Reply

    • Rinceyouropinion

      June 7, 2013 at 09:00

      There you are man!

      Reply

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