Sparkly Vampires Make Me Want to Gouge My Eyes Out

1 min read


I love vampires. I love the lore, the mythology, their pointy teeth and the resultant buckets of blood. It should come as no surprise then, that I cannot stand Twilight – and its emo, vegetarian, glittery suckfest “vampires”

Spare a thought for my gag reflex when this boxart (after the jump) arrived in my mailbox. Unfortunately, some smart-arse at Konami thought it would be a great idea to take the Scene it and Twilight licences and combine them. Shoot me.

“Konami is always looking to engage people in new means of interactive gaming experiences. The TWILIGHT film has an incredibly popular following who crave content and new media well after the movies are no longer in theaters,” said Kazumi Kitaue, Chairman and President of Konami Digital Entertainment, Inc.

I actually wish this was a proper 3rd-person action adventure game – because then I’d at least have the satisfaction of killing the characters off by continually running in to a fiery grave.

If you’re over 14 and male and you buy this you need your head read. Or your face punched – a service I will glady provide.


Last Updated: October 1, 2009

Geoffrey Tim

Editor. I'm old, grumpy and more than just a little cynical. One day, I found myself in possession of a NES, and a copy of Super Mario Bros 3. It was that game that made me realise that games were more than just toys to idly while away time - they were capable of being masterpieces. I'm here now, looking for more of those masterpieces.

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