Home Gaming The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Sexy love and romance guide rrrrowr

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Sexy love and romance guide rrrrowr

4 min read
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Looooooooooove-boat

Tired of slaying monsters? Need to lay down your silver sword and pick up your “dagger”? Well my fellow Witchers, I know what you’re talking about. It’s time to get it on in the bed instead of the forest. It’s time to hunt for love, not monsters. So hit the link, and read on about how love is ready to set sail in The Witcher 3. Oooh baby it’s a wild hunt.

Whoah! Hold on there sailor! You don’t just jump into the love and romance of The Witcher 3! Not without setting the mood first. The number one agenda on your list? Getting the atmosphere just right. And nothing says that better than some Marvin Gaye music:

No, you’re still not ready. You’re going to need a few supplies before we get into this. Next up: Romantic candles.

romantic-lightings

Then perhaps, a change of evening wear…

Chris Walken the continental

Hey, sprinkle some rose petals around your console and PC. She deserves it.

Rose

What’s that keyboard/controller? You’re feeling all stiff? Well let me work that stress right out of you, aw yeah.

Captain Hero

Ok, let’s get this show on the road before another book publisher sues us.

Triss Merigold

Triss

Easily the most popular lady in The Witcher franchise, Triss once again features prominently in the game. Both as a warrior, and a potential love interest. You’ll need to finish her sidequest Now Or Never once you’ve complete the main quest A Favour For Radovid and the secondary quest A Matter of Life And Death.

During the A Matter of Life and Death, you need to kiss Triss during the masquerade, and defend the mages during the Now or Never mission. At the end of that quest when you’re at the docks, confess those true feelings of love for Triss, which will lead to the romance option and a chance for you to turn on that Barry White album.

Madame Sasha

Madame Sasha

During the High Stakes secondary quest, you’ll meet Madame Sasha after the two of you foil a robbery and apprehend the thieves. Instead of coffee, Madame Sasha will invite you in for a round of coffee. Hit the accept button until your index finger is naught but a husk of blistered flesh, and you’ll get a chance to tip the velvet. Whatever that means, according to this Mills and Boone novel that I’m currently reading.

Yennefer of Vengerberg

Yennefer.jpg

You’ve got two chances to be intimate with Yennifer in the game. For the first time to unlock that option, you need to finish the The King Is Dead: Long Live The King quest while wearing the black and white outfit. Kill that bastard Elemental in the lab, and choose the option to kiss Yennifer as the gas starts flooding in. You’ll be teleported to safety then, which also happens to be Yennifer’s bedroom. Convenient! Ask her to let you watch her, and option one will be completed.

Option two is easy enough. During the No Place Like Home main quest, Yennifer will go up to her room and invite you along. You’ll need to have completed the first romance encounter however in order to unlock this invitation.

Jutta An Dimun

Jutta

The Iron Maiden secondary quest is surprisingly not about being a roadie for a rocking band in The Witcher 3. On the plus side however, you’ll get a chance to romance to Jutta An Dimun. Go to the hills east of Ringvald, where you’ll see a ring that will allow you to challenge her to a sword fight. If Jutta hesitates, go back down to the village and beat the crap out of the targeted bloke there, then head back to Jutta. Beat her at the sword fight, and you’ll be invited for a rematch in her bed.

Keira Metz

Keira Metz

Once you’ve finished the secondary quest A Favour For A Friend after you’ve finished the quests An Invitation from Keira Metz and A Towerful of Mice, the sultry sorceress will challenge you to a horse race. If you can beat Keira at that event, you’ll get to have dinner where she advances on you like a World War Two German Panzer division on France. Afterwards, you’ll need to use your Witcher senses to solve the mystery of the scattered clothing that leads to Keira’s chambers and solve the final riddle…

Last Updated: May 25, 2015

75 Comments

  1. That header image! Darryn, you win a week long vacation on a Borg Cube!

    Reply

    • Cortana Nalsan

      May 26, 2015 at 15:02

      ?????????It’s more Earn money with lazygamer < my buddy's step-mother makes $74 hourly on the computer . She has been without a job for 7 months but last month her paycheck was $14216 just working on the computer for a few hours.
      official website
      ===—->-> SEE MORE INFO

      Reply

  2. Admiral Chief's Adventure

    May 25, 2015 at 15:05

    • Ranting Raptor

      May 25, 2015 at 15:13

      Sies

      Reply

      • Trevor Matrix

        May 25, 2015 at 15:14

        Ek stem saam! Admiraal het jy geen skaamte of morele kompas nie???

        Reply

        • Ranting Raptor

          May 25, 2015 at 15:39

          Net so!

          Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        May 25, 2015 at 15:16

        What it’s just a picture of a plow……..oh wait…….

        Reply

        • Ranting Raptor

          May 25, 2015 at 15:38

          Lightbulb hehehehe

          Reply

      • Admiral Chief's Adventure

        May 25, 2015 at 15:19

        It is the term they use ingame, so, not sies, more like haha

        Reply

        • Ranting Raptor

          May 25, 2015 at 15:39

          lol

          Reply

    • WitWolfy

      May 25, 2015 at 15:20

      • Admiral Chief's Adventure

        May 25, 2015 at 15:21

        *Witcher

        Reply

        • Trevor Matrix

          May 25, 2015 at 15:21

          He was referring to his own “Joystick”

          Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        May 25, 2015 at 15:33

        But I don’t want to bang Barney….

        Reply

    • Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

      May 25, 2015 at 15:24

      I prefer the motion of the ocean in W3. Seriously. I prefer to go sailing and exploring the coastlines.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief's Adventure

        May 25, 2015 at 15:25

        You know your wife doesn’t read these comments don’t you?

        Reply

      • RinceTheElfRoot

        May 25, 2015 at 15:28

        0_O

        Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      May 25, 2015 at 15:26

  3. Trevor Matrix

    May 25, 2015 at 15:08

    Keira Metz looks suspiciously a lot like a girl I dated once many moons ago…

    Reply

    • Best Joke Ever!

      May 25, 2015 at 15:18

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Reply

    • Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

      May 25, 2015 at 15:20

      In what game was that? ;P

      Reply

  4. WitWolfy

    May 25, 2015 at 15:11

    I’m more interested in Ciri… Sure I saw a romance guide for her somewhere….

    Reply

    • Trevor Matrix

      May 25, 2015 at 15:12

      The kid???? OK. Granted I only played like the first half hour of the game…

      Reply

      • WitWolfy

        May 25, 2015 at 15:13

        Kid? When Geralt starts searching for her she aint a kid anymore. Probably in her early 20’s then…

        Reply

        • kuuu(UMAR)rrrr

          May 25, 2015 at 15:17

          She’s still your ‘daughter’ 😛

          Reply

          • Trevor Matrix

            May 25, 2015 at 15:18

            But this is the Witcher. If Geralt gets it on with a Cat it would be okay…

          • WitWolfy

            May 25, 2015 at 15:23

            LOL she is not your daughter dude. She’s this one lord’s daughter that lives some where in Novigrad or something. He asks you to save her right after you meet Yen. SMH

            And FYI if she was your daughter she would’ve had those cat’s eyes too mind you…

            Uncle maybe… But “very distant though” like out of danger of it being incest. LOL

          • Ir0nseraph

            May 25, 2015 at 15:25

            No she is like a daughter to Geralt , just no 😛

          • WitWolfy

            May 25, 2015 at 15:36

            Just read she has romances too, just not with Geralt.. Doesnt matter though. Glad to see she is part of the game too.

          • Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

            May 25, 2015 at 15:25

            “inverted commas”

          • kuuu(UMAR)rrrr

            May 25, 2015 at 15:27

            I put in quotes cos yeah, TECHNICALLY, she’s not your daughter but still, shes LIKE a daughter lol 😛

          • WitWolfy

            May 25, 2015 at 15:43

            The Lanisters still approve!

          • GRIMM

            June 30, 2015 at 04:19

            She’s the daughter of Emhyr var Emreis the Emperor of Nilfgaard. Basically the next in line for the throne. To Geralt, she’s an adoptive daughter. He demanded the unborn child of princess Pavetta and her husband Duny (Emhyr) as a reward for his services. It was a Girl, and it took 3 times for him to accept her.

          • WitWolfy

            June 30, 2015 at 07:45

            Thanks Wikipedia

          • GRIMM

            July 6, 2015 at 04:07

            Your welcome.

          • carlz0r

            May 27, 2015 at 17:29

            She isn’t Geralt’s biological daughter, he sort of adopted her.

          • kuuu(UMAR)rrrr

            May 27, 2015 at 17:47

            Yup, hence the quotes 🙂

          • GRIMM

            June 30, 2015 at 04:03

            That still makes it wrong-ish.

          • Michael Swift Ryan

            January 30, 2016 at 00:53

            uuummm, clearly you are confused on, from which the ‘taboo’ of incest originates. In Addition, in fantasy/medieval setting it is lot more common for siblings and first cousins of ‘royals’ to mate. Without an actual blood relation, even if there was a way for them both to be fertile the resulting progeny would have the same risk of mutations as any other mating.

            Moreover, with the long separation from Ciri? And Geralt’s memory of ‘Ciri’ fails to be the Ciri he meets in Witcher III: Wild Hunt. They would be two distinctly separate individuals. One of the first things the two would realize after reuniting is that the other is uniquely different from what they remember.

            Therefore, why would the romance be wrong exactly? So long as they are both consenting adults. Furthermore, if you don’t like it then just avoid ever making that choice. Why force your decision on others?

          • Umar

            February 4, 2016 at 17:32

            Man…..commenting on an 8th month old comment. In any case. I’m not forcing my decision on anyone, no one can even do that. So, like, thanks for the insight into the Witcher, you seem knowledgeable, but maybe, just maybe…you know, chill?

    • Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

      May 25, 2015 at 15:22

      No. Just no.

      Reply

  5. Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

    May 25, 2015 at 15:19

    Marvin Gaye.
    Winning.

    Reply

  6. Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

    May 25, 2015 at 15:22

    Tired of slaying monsters? Well I didn’t buy the sims, so I wasn’t exactly bargaining on playing for romance 😉
    Came across some ridiculously powerful monsters from time to time in W3. Make a mental note and continue on. I will get then all!

    Reply

  7. RinceTheElfRoot

    May 25, 2015 at 15:25

    There is only Triss, no one else!

    Reply

    • Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

      May 25, 2015 at 15:28

      SCROLL DOWN!

      Reply

      • Blood Emperor Trevor

        May 25, 2015 at 15:28

        He clearly has some innate bias.

        Reply

      • RinceTheElfRoot

        May 25, 2015 at 15:29

        Neva!

        Reply

        • Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

          May 25, 2015 at 15:31

          I think Yennefer is quite cool though as well.

          Reply

          • RinceTheElfRoot

            May 25, 2015 at 15:32

            Yeah. Only problem is that crow would watch you… 0_O

          • Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

            May 25, 2015 at 15:33

            OvO

          • Trevor Matrix

            May 25, 2015 at 15:34

            Are you scared the Crow’s pecker might be bigger than yours???

        • Trevor Matrix

          May 25, 2015 at 15:31

          Come on! Do it!!!

          Reply

  8. RustedFaith

    May 25, 2015 at 15:26

    ROFL Great Article!

    Reply

  9. Hammersteyn

    May 25, 2015 at 15:27

    Meh, too much effort.

    Reply

    • Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

      May 25, 2015 at 15:28

      I was reading that and thinking the same thing.

      Reply

      • Trevor Matrix

        May 25, 2015 at 15:31

        “I am sorry Geralt. I cannot be with a man not wearing a black and white suit…”

        Reply

        • Hammersteyn

          May 25, 2015 at 15:32

          Women……..amirite?

          Reply

        • Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

          May 25, 2015 at 15:32

          I knew right from the start she seemed a tad pompous.

          Reply

          • Hammersteyn

            May 25, 2015 at 15:32

            I knew right from the start she’d be breaking my heart

          • Captain JJ Hack&Slash&Dodge

            May 25, 2015 at 15:34

            heartbreaker!
            ;P

          • Hammersteyn

            May 25, 2015 at 16:08

            aye

    • WitWolfy

      May 25, 2015 at 15:38

      Pffft.. It’s just like real life… LOL

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        May 25, 2015 at 16:08

        hahahaha

        Reply

  10. HairyEwok

    May 25, 2015 at 15:47

    Witch her? or her? or her? ohhh so many options.

    Reply

  11. Stew

    May 25, 2015 at 15:48

    Surely the one and only time the author has ever given advice on bedding a woman?

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief's Adventure

      May 25, 2015 at 15:54

      Oh snap!

      Reply

  12. WILLIAMDWYER

    May 25, 2015 at 19:24

    tis a shame that you can’t romance Tomira the Herbalist…I am surprised with an ass like that, her clothes don’t come off. 🙁 (I wonder if melting Lena’s mind had something to do with it?)

    Reply

    • Joshua Kramer

      May 26, 2015 at 01:36

      Entire reason I found this guide..was searching on if Tomira was an option..she’s all bending over in front of Geralt, she’s begging for it

      Reply

  13. lk kara

    May 26, 2015 at 04:44

    These W3 girls. Sasha looks like she has a nice little tight a$$hole waiting for me to tongue. Did I just think out loud?

    Reply

  14. Brad Holroyd

    May 26, 2015 at 10:42

  15. Mirror

    May 28, 2015 at 15:34

    Reading this while listening to Marvin Gaye definitely enhanced my experience. Thank you.

    Reply

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