Watch us kick a giant troll’s ass in God of War…and then get our own ass kicked by the Aesir

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God-of-war

STOP! Whatever you do, do not read this article any further. Refrain from hovering thine mouse cursor over the embedded YouTube videos! I beg of you, just click away! Just click away and it can all be over! God of War drops tomorrow, and like the finest things in life, it’s best to avoid as many spoilers as possible. You’re going to be seeing a lot of God of War footage soon, as the embargo for showing off what exactly we’ve done since we got our hands on the latest Kratos simulator, has had the sword of Olympus shoved through its belly.

First up, here’s Alessandro kicking some troll ass in a father-son bonding moment:

And here’s what I’m calling the best damn fight scene in video game history, featuring Kratos going one on one with a wandering Scandinavian god who can match him blow for blow:

How good was that? I’ll tell you how good: Chef’s kiss emoticon good. It’s as if an American version of Dragon Ball Z was given some proper love and care, instead of being a ramshackle budget affair so terrible that it makes me want to claw my own eyes out rather than subject them to seeing another round of CGI farts being thrown around.

It’s also just a taste of what’s in store for you, the second you boot up God of War. A game which is apparently very very good to play.

Last Updated: April 19, 2018

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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