Home Features Friday Debate – Which no good truly awful bad games deserve an HD Remake?

Friday Debate – Which no good truly awful bad games deserve an HD Remake?

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Bad-Games-2

The Last of Us. Crash Bandicoot. Tomb Raider. Sleeping Dogs. I could go on and on, but the point I’m trying to make here is that these games all share two things in common: They’re all chuffing good to play and they received HD remakes a few years after they original debuted. Some of these games got some fancier textures, others got a hefty bump in resolution and most bundled some extra post-launch DLC into the mix to create a definitive package.

Are these HD remakes a quick cash grab from some developers! Probably! But they’re also important slices of digital entertainment, restored to prime form and given a new shot at life that preserves their glory for new audiences. Good games deserve to be resurrected and taken care of in this way, spreading joy and cementing their legacy for future generations to come.

Which is all well and good, but I’d also like to see absolute crap given that love as well. I’m not talking games that were one sought-after feature away from greatness. I’m talking the controversial and the damned, the hyped and the disappointing. The games that time forgot but should be hauled out of storage and thrust into the hands of unaware gamers.

Heck, I’ve played more than my fair share of them: Neverdead is still a great idea hampered by…everything and the worst use of Megadeth ever:

Rogue Warrior is an example of trying to disguise mediocre gameplay with so much swearing that the only way to properly describe it is to leave a clip from Spongebob Squarepants embedded below:

The less said about Aliens: Colonial Marines, the better:

And who could forget the horror that is X-Men: Destiny? I wish I could!

Bad games, bad times my dudes. Still, I’d be morbidly curious to see these games dug up out of their graves and given a brief chance to stink up the joint with their rotting features which were already a mess when they were first released. What trash from yesteryear would you like to see thrown into an HD remake machine and hammer the 4K button on? Sound off below.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Critical Hit as an organisation.

Last Updated: January 17, 2020

86 Comments

  1. DUKE NUKEM

    Reply

  2. Admiral Chief

    January 17, 2020 at 11:07

    Flappy Bird

    Reply

  3. Pariah

    January 17, 2020 at 11:21

    Not sure if this falls strictly under bad games, but Giants: Citizen Kabuto needs some HD love.

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 17, 2020 at 11:22

      Classic game

      Reply

  4. Admiral Chief

    January 17, 2020 at 11:21

    I still want a Blackthorne HD remake

    Reply

    • Original Heretic

      January 17, 2020 at 11:22

      That was an awesome game, not a bad one.
      But I do agree with you.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief

        January 17, 2020 at 11:22

        I played a bit in an online emulator quite recently, and it is very, very old

        Reply

  5. Admiral Chief

    January 17, 2020 at 11:21

    Wacky Wheels!!!!

    Reply

  6. Pariah

    January 17, 2020 at 11:21

    Another is a game seemingly ignored by the IP owners – Star Wars Episode 1 Pod Racer. Please, please can we get that remade?

    Reply

    • konfab

      January 17, 2020 at 11:22

      YESSSSS

      Reply

  7. Pariah

    January 17, 2020 at 11:22

    Warhammer 40k: Rites of War

    Reply

  8. Pariah

    January 17, 2020 at 11:22

    It’s so hard thinking of bad games you want remade, tbh. The best I can think of is mediocre or niche.

    Reply

  9. konfab

    January 17, 2020 at 11:22

    Dota

    /runs

    Reply

    • Pariah

      January 17, 2020 at 11:22

      I loled.

      Reply

  10. konfab

    January 17, 2020 at 11:22

    Dota

    /runs

    Reply

  11. DapperWoef

    January 17, 2020 at 11:22

    Let’s be honest. Mass Effect 1. WIth better combat and a better Rover thingy.

    Reply

    • konfab

      January 17, 2020 at 11:22

      And better textures.

      Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 17, 2020 at 11:22

      No, NO TANK MODE

      That needs to NEVER EVER be re-lived

      Reply

      • Pariah

        January 17, 2020 at 11:22

        Which is why it’s pretty much perfect for this article LOL.

        I still have nightmares.

        Reply

      • konfab

        January 17, 2020 at 16:38

        Brutal honesty.
        I liked it the rover part, and the series was the worse without it. Especially the parts where they had a more linear path, like Virmire and Ilos.

        Maybe it was because I played it on PC so it didn’t have the control issues that the Xbox people had.

        There was something extremely gratifying about going up an 85 degree slope on an alien world.

        Reply

        • AC130

          January 20, 2020 at 08:25

          Granted, it was magnificent, but the level design in certain sections was utter kak

          Reply

      • DapperWoef

        January 17, 2020 at 11:37

        That rover was kinda like making out with your cousin.

        It was weird.

        Awkward.

        And when people walked into the room and saw how badly you were at it, you just wished you could die from embarrassment.

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief

          January 17, 2020 at 11:37

          ROFL, ded. Fookin ded ded ded

          Reply

        • Pariah

          January 17, 2020 at 13:52

          Yeah but what if you enjoyed it?

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief

            January 17, 2020 at 17:06

            …then the kids would look like Yennefer pre-magic-makeover

          • Pariah

            January 17, 2020 at 17:06

            Cousins are genetically diverse enough for that to not be a major risk. Just btw.

          • Admiral Chief

            January 17, 2020 at 17:06

            Don’t care, never risking it, also, ewwwwwww

          • Pariah

            January 17, 2020 at 17:06

            Oh I agree. That’s a no fly zone. But still, an interesting tidbit.

          • Admiral Chief

            January 17, 2020 at 17:06

            I don’t want to bite no cousin ‘tid’

          • Pariah

            January 17, 2020 at 17:06

            Apparently it’s not too bad. Some places in the US dig it.

          • Admiral Chief

            January 17, 2020 at 17:20

            Side effects include talking funny and bad wardrobe choices

          • Pariah

            January 17, 2020 at 18:37

            By that description that’d mean half of South Africa. And almost all Afrikaaners. 😉

            *runs*

          • Admiral Chief

            January 18, 2020 at 00:57

            [calmly takes aim with rifle and lines up shot…]
            Because all Afrikaners hunt

    • Original Heretic

      January 17, 2020 at 11:22

      You mean the PC version?

      Reply

      • DapperWoef

        January 17, 2020 at 11:22

        I played both console and PC version and both were equally crappy.

        Reply

    • Pariah

      January 17, 2020 at 11:22

      I preferred a lot of the systems in ME1 over the sequels, tbh. Though that rover alone is enough case for me to support this notion.

      Reply

  12. Original Heretic

    January 17, 2020 at 11:22

    What…? What?!

    Reply

    • Pariah

      January 17, 2020 at 11:22

      Bad game. HD remake. What you want?

      Simple really. 😉

      😀

      Reply

      • Original Heretic

        January 17, 2020 at 11:37

        They deserve no love, none of them. They have wasted enough of our time already.

        Reply

        • Pariah

          January 17, 2020 at 11:37

          And they won’t waste our time again. Because we *know* better. But kids these days? Sharing is caring, after all.

          Reply

          • Original Heretic

            January 17, 2020 at 11:37

            Jeez man, I’d never willingly let my boy play bad games.

          • Pariah

            January 17, 2020 at 11:37

            What does your boy play?

          • Original Heretic

            January 17, 2020 at 12:12

            Kiddie games!
            He loves his racing games, too.
            His biggest limitation now is his inability to read. Once he gets that down, it’ll open more options.
            We have fun jamming together, just about every day!

  13. Pariah

    January 17, 2020 at 11:37

    Ooh! Gene wars!

    (RIP Bullfrog)

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 17, 2020 at 11:37

      Syndicate 🙁

      Reply

      • Pariah

        January 17, 2020 at 11:37

        Oh I loved that game.

        Reply

      • Admiral Chief

        January 17, 2020 at 11:37

        MY MAN!

        Dude, I’d sooooooo love HD remake

        Reply

      • G8crasha

        January 17, 2020 at 14:38

        If I could boost your post 10 million times I would!

        Reply

  14. Dyslice

    January 17, 2020 at 11:37

    Imagine a Battlefield 1942 remake with a new engine but exactly the same mechanics.

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 17, 2020 at 11:37

      Didn’t they do it (kinda) recently?

      Reply

  15. DapperWoef

    January 17, 2020 at 11:37

    Let’s see…

    Leisure Suite Larry. The first 3d one. I think. Dear Clowns that thing was so bad.
    Playboy The Mansion. (On second thought. No, Some things are better left dead.)

    Reply

  16. Yozzie

    January 17, 2020 at 11:51

    Gun Metal or Future Cop : LAPD

    Reply

    • Hammersteyn

      January 17, 2020 at 11:52

      Nice

      Reply

    • konfab

      January 17, 2020 at 12:26

      Future Cop: LAPD was excellent 🙁

      Reply

  17. Llama In The Rift

    January 17, 2020 at 12:33

    Think Spore can be great if done right and a little more depth…..And Command And Conquer 4 (spits)

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 17, 2020 at 12:54

      Spore, now that I enjoyed, even if it was buggy AF in late game

      Reply

  18. For the Emperor!

    January 17, 2020 at 13:08

    Half-life?

    Reply

  19. Dresden

    January 17, 2020 at 14:52

    Redneck Rampage!

    Reply

  20. Caveshen Rajman

    January 17, 2020 at 10:53

    I wouldn’t mind a Lollipop Chainsaw remake.

    Reply

  21. Jacques Van Zyl

    January 17, 2020 at 10:53

    E.T. or failing that the Chicken Run video game.

    Reply

  22. Hammersteyn

    January 17, 2020 at 11:22

    Battlefront 2(2017 not the classic one)

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 17, 2020 at 11:22

      Classic one was such a fun time

      Reply

      • Hammersteyn

        January 17, 2020 at 11:22

        Played it till the sun came up,just shows how far gaming has fallen in decade thanks to AAAssholes

        Reply

        • Pariah

          January 17, 2020 at 13:37

          I pulled an all-nighter last week in Terraria. At over 1k hours, it’s still just as fun.

          Reply

          • Admiral Chief

            January 17, 2020 at 13:52

            How many times have you clocked it?

          • Pariah

            January 17, 2020 at 13:52

            Many many times. Each time it’s a new challenge. This time it’s a summoner playthrough with the Calamity mod. That mod is hard as shit. Love it.

            Yeah modded makes up about half of my time.

          • Admiral Chief

            January 17, 2020 at 13:52

            I’ve started a new XCOM 2 campaign after getting all the DLC for cheeeep in December.

            So, many, micromanaging things…..dig it

  23. DapperWoef

    January 17, 2020 at 11:22

    Friday the 13th. The 90’s one, that had you rowing and all that shit.

    Reply

    • Original Heretic

      January 17, 2020 at 11:37

      Rowing?
      You know why they say that having sex in a canoe is just like American beer?

      Reply

      • DapperWoef

        January 17, 2020 at 11:51

        I have no idea no

        Reply

        • Original Heretic

          January 17, 2020 at 11:59

          It’s fucking close to water.

          Reply

          • DapperWoef

            January 17, 2020 at 12:12

            I see.
            Do I lose macho points if I say I got buzzed on two Budweiser Draughts?

          • Original Heretic

            January 17, 2020 at 12:12

            You’re talking to a non-drinker.
            I drink one shooter and I throw up.
            No, you lose no points. To each their own!

          • Admiral Chief

            January 17, 2020 at 12:12

            Well, that is 4% out of one litre, so buzzed is fine

  24. Admiral Chief

    January 17, 2020 at 11:37

    Bad game needing a remake? That “kings” drinking game we played as students hehe

    But wait, I don’t want to relive that, my old body will not be able to handle that

    Reply

  25. DapperWoef

    January 17, 2020 at 11:59

    WWE 2K Current edition?

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 17, 2020 at 12:12

      HAH, funny guy

      Reply

  26. BradeLunner

    January 17, 2020 at 11:59

    Was MDK considered bad? Because that game was really fun, like Halo that didn’t take itself too seriously

    Reply

    • Admiral Chief

      January 17, 2020 at 12:12

      MDK, glorious gem that. Don’t think it was considered bad, maybe just silly.

      In any case, I fully support this idea

      Reply

      • BradeLunner

        January 17, 2020 at 12:12

        Killing those annoying chattering alien things was so satisfying!

        Reply

        • Admiral Chief

          January 17, 2020 at 14:23

          Top 10 satisfaction list, for sure

          Reply

    • konfab

      January 17, 2020 at 12:26

      I loved it.

      It was a fantastic game.

      Reply

      • Admiral Chief

        January 17, 2020 at 12:26

        Same. Would absolutely love it if we can get some open world HD MDK action!

        Reply

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