If you missed out on Fat Princess, the action RTS from Titan Studios on the PlayStation 3, you’ve made a grave mis-cake. That game was a delightfully charming take on the RTS genre and capture-the-flag modes, that had players vying to feed princesses to make them larger and harder for the opposing team to carry, all while trying to whisk the other princess away to their own home base. It sounds like a digital excuse to fat shame, but it pulled off its mechanics with charm and grace.
It was with equal amounts of trepidation and excitement then, that I jumped in to Fat Princess Adventures. While it has the same amount of saccharine charm, it dispenses with all of the strategy, giving us instead a light-hearted hack-and-slash aRPG, a sort of cartoon take on Diablo – and it does this with varying success.
Stay awhile and listen
There’s not too much in the way of weighty narrative, Fat Princess Adventures has you and up to 3 friend (online or off, with seamless drop-in and drop-out) hacking, slashing, conjuring, shooting and smashing their way to victory. Their goal? To save the plump, perpetually fed princesses from a bitter Queen who’d prefer if everything was covered in sodium chloride. That’s…really all there is to it – and the seven main story quests and handful of side quests you’ll do will fill in the details.
A touch of class
To help said princesses, players will have to take on the role of one of the game’s four classes; mage, archer, warrior and engineer, each with their own sets of attacks. What makes it a little interesting is that you’ll be able to switch classes on the fly at one of the game’s liberally doled out checkpoints. Tired of being a magic user? Rely on your brute for as the Warrior. The constant chopping and changing of classes ensures that you’ll never really get bored of doing the same rote thing, over and over again.
Each class has its own set of attacks. The mage and archer are ranged attackers, with the wizardly sort flinging off fireballs and other spells, with a force push spell to keep nasty enemies at bay. The archer, as its name implies, fires off long-range arrows and is equipped with a powerful dagger for stabbing those who get in too close. The Warrior and Engineer are your melee sort; the warrior utilising a sword for offense, and a shield for defensive attacks, while the engineer uses a great big hammer, and bombs to disperse those who’re being pestering nuisance.
Cake or death
As you’d expect with games of this sort, the primary focus is on loot – and the stuff drops hard and fast. Some of it’s pretty fun stuff – like a fish on s tick for your engineer, which not only deals massive damage, but also adds a dash of poison damage. There are slots for headgear and armour too, adding elemental effects, or the chance to turn enemies in to delicious cake – which serves as a healing item. That cake, which is dropped by defeated enemies not only heals; when you eat the stuff and you’re already on full health, you’re temporarily transformed in to a giant, pudgy, nearly indestructible version of your self.
Each of the items you’ll loot is upgradeable, adding to its damage or defense. In this regard, the game becomes a little too much like Diablo. You’ll need to finish it to unlock its toughest difficulties – and only then can you earn the gems requires to upgrade items to their maximum levels. So yes, it become a bit of a grindfest.
To that end, there’s a mode that helps you do just that. Called the Grindhouse, you and your party can replay the levels you’ve done, adding modifiers to increase the challenge and earn you more god and loot. It’s a great co-operative romp for when you’re not up for anything serious. I spent the weekend playing through the game with the wife, and once we were finished, we fired it up again on a harder difficulty so we could grind for gems.
Overall, the combat’s not especially deep and the bosses are generally a tad simplistic, but the fun writing, great voice cast (including the likes of Nolan North, Tara Strong and Fred Tatasciore) help elevate this light and fluffy, frivolous diablo-esque game beyond its lot.
Last Updated: December 14, 2015