For the past couple of months I have basically been swimming in Licensed games for review, obviously because it has been America’s Summer blockbuster season and most blockbusters are accompanied by games these days.
The truth is that this year was quite a big step forwards for licensed games, with titles such as Wolverine, Afro Samurai and Ice Age 3 proving that all licensed games don’t need to be bad.
Well, the season is coming to an end and with it the release of G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra. Due to the decent standard of licensed titles that came out this year, I wondered if G.I. Joe would bring its A-Game as well and show me just how much fun it was to be one of the Joe’s.
I roundhouse kicked the disc into the Playstation 3 to find out for myself.
To be honest, I just want to keep this review brief, so here we go.
G.I Joe is absolutely, positively atrocious.
To start off with the graphics were so terrible that for a moment I thought that PS2 backwards-compatibility had once again been realised. Not only that but it wasn’t even running smoothly either.
The controls are horrid, the combat system is useless and is put to shame by most 8-bit shooters, like Gun Smoke. The voice acting is overdone, the AI gets stuck and the menus are generic.
In my time reviewing games for Lazygamer I have actually been lucky to be exposed to some decent licensed games that were given a fair amount of effort. G.I Joe is not one of those games.
It feels rushed, it feels incomplete and it feels like nothing more than a last minute cash in, in every single conceivable way. If you are a parent who has been dying to get their children to leave the couch and go play outside instead, buy them G.I Joe, they will be kicking balls and climbing trees in no time.
Seriously, it is outdone by most 8-bit shooters.
Choppy graphics that wouldn’t even impress on a Playstation 2.
Cheesy, with a side of cheese and a cheese topping.
Depends on how hard you throw it.
Do not under any circumstances, buy this game. Seriously.
Last Updated: August 21, 2009