PS4 Review – Worth all the dough

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In an attempt to get all the local hits, I recently imported a PS4 console for review because we couldn’t wait to get a pizza the action.  I was expecting something less tasty.

Design

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It’s made from environmentally friendly cardboard, so points to Sony for that one. Feels kind of frail though, and the hood opens up way too easily. Plus, it’s rather large, and it oozes some sort of lubricant grease when I leave it upright.

Hardware

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I’m no hardware expert, but I think the mozzarella cheese core helps power the dual-threaded bacon and 8GB of HAM in order to provide tera-pepperoni power to the games, or something. It’s also equipped with a 500 feta-bites HDD. You might want install your own, larger one though, because once you factor in the OS and game installs, there’s not mushroom on there. We’ve heard there’s an overheating issue resulting from the use of cheap thermal compound, but we’ve had a look, and they’re using top-grade tasty tomato paste.

And all that talk of it wobbling? With wheat, bread, dairy, meat and vegetables, I found the PS4 to be pretty well balanced.

Controller

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The slice-shaped controller is remarkably comfortable actually, and soft to the touch. As an added bonus, I don’t have to worry about getting the controller greasy, because it does that naturally on its own, Thankfully it is precise. When it comes to gaming, there’s no margarine for error. Triggers are a little squishy though, you ask me.

Social Features

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It’s great for sharing.

Inputs

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Where the hell do I put the HDMI in? And why did I have to supply my own damn one?

Games

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I honestly have no idea where the disc drive is? Is it here? Honestly the launch line-up is terrible, so there’s nothing to play anyway. I’ve also struggled to get it to connect to my router, so unfortunately I can’t play any of those downloadable games either. Not that we’d be able to review them all anyway; we’ve just not had the thyme.

Longevity

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I’m down to three slices of Pizza Station 4 already, from a morning total of 8, and I just don’t see this making it to dinner.

Final Review Score

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The PS4 has delivered a delicious 7.5 slices out of ten, and worth the asking price, no matter how you slice it.  You have to ask if you really knead it; so don’t go bacon the bank if you don’t need to, considering yesterday’s leftovers are still fine. 

Last Updated: November 20, 2013

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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