The PS Vita finally gets a hyper big-breasted cooking-rhythm game in the form of Deka Mori: Senran Kagura

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kagura

Let’s be honest here. As far as gaming has come in recent years to making ideas about playing as realistic humanoids who are less top-heavy and more interested in telling a good story, there’ll always be a Japanese studio leering around the corner, ready to throw something decidedly insane into that mix. And buddy, it doesn’t get more crazy than Senran Kagura series which has three new games on the way.

Before we get to the real meat of madness, a quick history lesson on the franchise:

bewbs

Yep, if you dig getting slapped for not looking at ladies face to face, then you’ll love this franchise. Senran Kagura follows the adventures of a group of ninja high school girls, with wacky hijinks occurring that sees them regularly stripped down as they lose precious clothing during various battles. Nose bleeds may occur from hardcore fans.

senran (1)

Moving on, there’ll be new adventures in fan service out soon. Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson is a sequel to the 3DS side-scroller that’ll actually have two male characters in it when it releases on August 7, while Senran Kagura: Estival Versus which has something to do with being a PlayStation format tile and will be available on sony-branded platforms.

senran (2)

And then there’s Deka Mori: Senran Kagura, which is all about cooking, with “huge food servings”. WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE. Here’s the possibly not so safe for work video, due to the Baywatch level of jiggling that is present inside of it, for the game that Famitsu describes as a “hyper big-breasted cooking-rhythm game.”

I haven’t seen that much jiggling silicone since I got drunk in Beverly Hills and crashed a car into the back of a plastic surgery supply van. Naturally, I must have this game when it releases in late March. For you guessed it, research purposes.

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Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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