Hasbro is still looking to develop films based on bored games

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Because those games are boring, amirite? Badumpish, thank you, I’ll be here all week or until I get eviscerated by an angry mob! Moving on, while the upcoming slate of new films is primarily composed of films with even numbers at the end of their titles or new takes on classics, there’s still plenty of pop culture material out there waiting to be mined.

Such as board games. Because everyone wants to watch a movie based on morbidly obese river cows with eating disorders.

Hasbro has teamed up with End of Watch production company Emmett/Furla to get several of their properties on the big screen in the next two years, such as Monopoly, Hungry Hungry Hippos and the British GI Joe toy franchise, Action Man. Priority has been given to Monopoly right now, as Hasbro is looking to get that particular board game ready for cameras by next year.

And while a deal is in place right now, there’s no mention of certain key staff yet for these properties, such as writers or directors. This comes after Hasbro essentially cut ties with Universal Studios, which only produced one film based on one of their other properties, Battleship, and we all know what a disaster that one was.

As for how the hell anyone will make a film like Monopoly work on the big screen, who knows. Our best bet is that it’ll involve spaceships, explosions, Liam Neeson and Telkom receiving an executive producing credit. Right now, I’m busy working on script for the hippo film.
I call it: Hungry Hungry Human Centipede Hippos.

 

Last Updated: October 5, 2012

Darryn Bonthuys

Something wrong gentlemen? You come here prepared to read the words of a madman, and instead found a lunatic obsessed with comics, Batman and Raul Julia's M Bison performance in the 1994 Street Fighter movie? Fine! Keep your bio! In fact, now might be a good time to pray to it!

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